Mother's Love
hello!
oh dear, this week Im pretty jam packed with activities and most of the time, it is just doing a bit of catching up with my friends who suddenly become free around the same time..haha. Well, it's okay then. I just hope that my mum doesn't scream her head off at me but this coming Saturday, confirmed Im keeping it free. Like the malay saying goes 'jaga hati mak aku..' kekeke...that means, to please my mum.
In case you're wondering if rahayu has reached popularity status among her friends, hell no! Just that it is something that I feel that I must perform as my duty and being a friend is not easy. But alas, if ONLY my mum understands that. Gawd..I haven't started dating! If like this, tsk..I'd rather die a single if going out with a friend is considered a crime.
Anyway, I know I sound like I complain a lot and take things for granted if you count me lamenting about my mum's neverending nagging sessions are an 'earful' to bear. Look, I do love her and I know she nags because...*breathes*...she cares for me for at times, I do doubt if she ever loves me. I know that my parents are not the sort who says the word 'love' like it is part of their inner vocabulary. But my mum does it to my brother because he's such a *baby voice* lovey dovey huggable big pillow that you just feel like squeezing the breath out of him..heh. Yes, the irritance in him has not died yet but physically, he's freakingly adorable like a fat cat..bwahahaha!
Sidetracking there.....anyway, if there's one love you cant deny in this world is a mother's love. Maybe modern mums are a bit different from the olden days mum when their love towards their expanding brood is unconditional. But for a young mum who thinks that their children is a waste of time and that they'd rather be out partying than taking care of their children's needs, don't even think of having children in the first place. Come on lah, they're not dolls that you can just put on the shelves and hope they will deny your existence just like how you do to them. I know that being a young woman and having to cope with the finances, the growing expenses and the stresses of life is very tough indeed. But that is where work-life balance comes into play and if the young woman knows that she is not capable of taking care of her children and leaves it to the husband in the case of a separation, then it is only in the name of the children's best interest. I just cannot accept it when she chooses to 'sacrifice' their happiness for the sake of their own by letting go of their responsibility just like that because their children are considered a hindrance. Why are you so ashamed of them?! Do you know that there are couples out there who have been childless for the longest time and have spent thousands of dollars for their medical treatments? And how about those mothers whose children have been taken away from them by the social workers because they are deemed incapable of taking care of their children's needs after being thrown into jail or declared a drug addict? Then there are the women who experienced miscarriages more than one time but still carry on trying even though each miscarriage gets more painful each time for it leaves an even bigger wound.
If the young mothers blame their carelessness which lead to the children, it still does not give them the authority to treat their child or children like they are the biggest burden of their lives. All because of their 'carelessness'. Children should not suffer for our mistakes. At most, if you can't take care of them, then the best thing to do is to find a loving family that will take care of their needs and give them enough love to last them a lifetime. But before resorting to that, a child is still in favour of their natural mothers' love so please, give them the undivided attention just like how you want yourself to be loved by somebody who share the same blood ties with you. Nobody likes to feel abandoned. Nobody likes to feel lonely so don't deprive your children, whether they are just a few months old or in their adulthood, and tell them that you still remember them and that they are loved no matter where they are and what they do.
When I heard stories about how a woman adds a foster child to her life, it touches me especially when these children have been given up for adoption because their parents could not take care of them or have died. It gives a child hope that there is a future for them even though they may be too young to understand that and may feel a bit apprehensive at first towards strangers. But children don't take that long to warm up and after awhile, they don't label you as not being their natural parent as long as they are given adequate attention and showered with love. There will always be a time when the adopted children finally understand everything and many may go in search of their natural parents.
This is a very heartbreaking moment because they may choose to refuse your love and go back to their birth parents who may or may not want to acknowledge them anymore. The opposite may also happen such as the natural parents suddenly want their children back and it can be a very painful and long battle at the courthouse. Two schools of thoughts will clash against one another between the birth mum and the mum who has been taking care of every needs of the child from the moment he or she is being placed into her care. You can see that in movies too and what is worse is when the court chooses to let the child be taken care of the natural parents who have never even paid him or her a visit or tell the child that they love him but out of nowhere, they suddenly thought about this child they have given away. I know that sometimes circumstances may lead to the child be given away like that but this child cannot be taken back like that either because each day, love can grow substantially and you cannot top that.
I think the only way is to reach a compromising situation where the child will not be pulled apart between the natural and the foster parents. Even if the child faced their parents' separation at a young age, it doesn't mean that they cannot remember their mother's or father's faces and the things they did for them before they were separated. Please spare a thought for them and don't just deny them of love no more even if you can't be there all the time for them or have opened a new chapter in your life. I have a step cousin of whom, thankfully, my aunt lets her to meet her real mum even when she was a baby and my aunt apparently could adopt her because she could fulfill that condition of hers. Hrm, but apparently, her real mum had received some money and could even afford a maid unlike her very poor financial state the other time when her husband was jailed and that she had to take care of her other two children with her mum. It was a very tough decision for her to let my step cousin go but it was the only thing to do because money was short. So now that she knows she is capable, she said that she can easily take my cousin back. What the...think what? Got money already can easily snatch the child back is it? Hello? Money doesn't buy love okay?
Haiz....what is happening to the world. You have a child but you don't want but those who cant have a child, badly wants one. For myself, knowing that I myself have difficulties taking care of myself, I don't forsee myself getting attached and settle down with children in later years. I have planned to adopt a child when I am more financially stable and that I have completed my studies and have lesser commitments so I can give the child my undivided attention. There are a lot of children out there who are in need of some lovin' so why don't we take care of them even though they are not our flesh and blood. We don't have to be related to shower one our love right? If you have the money, you can even support a child coming from a poor family so that the child is able to continue his or her education in school with all the proper things and all because we play a part in shaping the child's future. I have read about wealthy women who give their full financial support to such children rather than always devoting their time fully to shopping and recreational activities like spas. It is a very sweet gesture coming from a stranger, don't you think?
Anyway, don't take into offence what I have said especially about young mothers because I think generally mothers, young or matured, are good care takers and only mothers know best what is good for their children. I just hope you don't close one eye and hope everything is okay as you leave them behind and go about enjoying your newfound freedom. These kind of children can remember the sweetest moments you have given to them and cherish them all their lives and it won't hurt for you to continue giving ur moral support.
oh dear, this week Im pretty jam packed with activities and most of the time, it is just doing a bit of catching up with my friends who suddenly become free around the same time..haha. Well, it's okay then. I just hope that my mum doesn't scream her head off at me but this coming Saturday, confirmed Im keeping it free. Like the malay saying goes 'jaga hati mak aku..' kekeke...that means, to please my mum.
In case you're wondering if rahayu has reached popularity status among her friends, hell no! Just that it is something that I feel that I must perform as my duty and being a friend is not easy. But alas, if ONLY my mum understands that. Gawd..I haven't started dating! If like this, tsk..I'd rather die a single if going out with a friend is considered a crime.
Anyway, I know I sound like I complain a lot and take things for granted if you count me lamenting about my mum's neverending nagging sessions are an 'earful' to bear. Look, I do love her and I know she nags because...*breathes*...she cares for me for at times, I do doubt if she ever loves me. I know that my parents are not the sort who says the word 'love' like it is part of their inner vocabulary. But my mum does it to my brother because he's such a *baby voice* lovey dovey huggable big pillow that you just feel like squeezing the breath out of him..heh. Yes, the irritance in him has not died yet but physically, he's freakingly adorable like a fat cat..bwahahaha!
Sidetracking there.....anyway, if there's one love you cant deny in this world is a mother's love. Maybe modern mums are a bit different from the olden days mum when their love towards their expanding brood is unconditional. But for a young mum who thinks that their children is a waste of time and that they'd rather be out partying than taking care of their children's needs, don't even think of having children in the first place. Come on lah, they're not dolls that you can just put on the shelves and hope they will deny your existence just like how you do to them. I know that being a young woman and having to cope with the finances, the growing expenses and the stresses of life is very tough indeed. But that is where work-life balance comes into play and if the young woman knows that she is not capable of taking care of her children and leaves it to the husband in the case of a separation, then it is only in the name of the children's best interest. I just cannot accept it when she chooses to 'sacrifice' their happiness for the sake of their own by letting go of their responsibility just like that because their children are considered a hindrance. Why are you so ashamed of them?! Do you know that there are couples out there who have been childless for the longest time and have spent thousands of dollars for their medical treatments? And how about those mothers whose children have been taken away from them by the social workers because they are deemed incapable of taking care of their children's needs after being thrown into jail or declared a drug addict? Then there are the women who experienced miscarriages more than one time but still carry on trying even though each miscarriage gets more painful each time for it leaves an even bigger wound.
If the young mothers blame their carelessness which lead to the children, it still does not give them the authority to treat their child or children like they are the biggest burden of their lives. All because of their 'carelessness'. Children should not suffer for our mistakes. At most, if you can't take care of them, then the best thing to do is to find a loving family that will take care of their needs and give them enough love to last them a lifetime. But before resorting to that, a child is still in favour of their natural mothers' love so please, give them the undivided attention just like how you want yourself to be loved by somebody who share the same blood ties with you. Nobody likes to feel abandoned. Nobody likes to feel lonely so don't deprive your children, whether they are just a few months old or in their adulthood, and tell them that you still remember them and that they are loved no matter where they are and what they do.
When I heard stories about how a woman adds a foster child to her life, it touches me especially when these children have been given up for adoption because their parents could not take care of them or have died. It gives a child hope that there is a future for them even though they may be too young to understand that and may feel a bit apprehensive at first towards strangers. But children don't take that long to warm up and after awhile, they don't label you as not being their natural parent as long as they are given adequate attention and showered with love. There will always be a time when the adopted children finally understand everything and many may go in search of their natural parents.
This is a very heartbreaking moment because they may choose to refuse your love and go back to their birth parents who may or may not want to acknowledge them anymore. The opposite may also happen such as the natural parents suddenly want their children back and it can be a very painful and long battle at the courthouse. Two schools of thoughts will clash against one another between the birth mum and the mum who has been taking care of every needs of the child from the moment he or she is being placed into her care. You can see that in movies too and what is worse is when the court chooses to let the child be taken care of the natural parents who have never even paid him or her a visit or tell the child that they love him but out of nowhere, they suddenly thought about this child they have given away. I know that sometimes circumstances may lead to the child be given away like that but this child cannot be taken back like that either because each day, love can grow substantially and you cannot top that.
I think the only way is to reach a compromising situation where the child will not be pulled apart between the natural and the foster parents. Even if the child faced their parents' separation at a young age, it doesn't mean that they cannot remember their mother's or father's faces and the things they did for them before they were separated. Please spare a thought for them and don't just deny them of love no more even if you can't be there all the time for them or have opened a new chapter in your life. I have a step cousin of whom, thankfully, my aunt lets her to meet her real mum even when she was a baby and my aunt apparently could adopt her because she could fulfill that condition of hers. Hrm, but apparently, her real mum had received some money and could even afford a maid unlike her very poor financial state the other time when her husband was jailed and that she had to take care of her other two children with her mum. It was a very tough decision for her to let my step cousin go but it was the only thing to do because money was short. So now that she knows she is capable, she said that she can easily take my cousin back. What the...think what? Got money already can easily snatch the child back is it? Hello? Money doesn't buy love okay?
Haiz....what is happening to the world. You have a child but you don't want but those who cant have a child, badly wants one. For myself, knowing that I myself have difficulties taking care of myself, I don't forsee myself getting attached and settle down with children in later years. I have planned to adopt a child when I am more financially stable and that I have completed my studies and have lesser commitments so I can give the child my undivided attention. There are a lot of children out there who are in need of some lovin' so why don't we take care of them even though they are not our flesh and blood. We don't have to be related to shower one our love right? If you have the money, you can even support a child coming from a poor family so that the child is able to continue his or her education in school with all the proper things and all because we play a part in shaping the child's future. I have read about wealthy women who give their full financial support to such children rather than always devoting their time fully to shopping and recreational activities like spas. It is a very sweet gesture coming from a stranger, don't you think?
Anyway, don't take into offence what I have said especially about young mothers because I think generally mothers, young or matured, are good care takers and only mothers know best what is good for their children. I just hope you don't close one eye and hope everything is okay as you leave them behind and go about enjoying your newfound freedom. These kind of children can remember the sweetest moments you have given to them and cherish them all their lives and it won't hurt for you to continue giving ur moral support.
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