Monday, December 26, 2011

Blessed with Make Up Goodies

I am having some problem typing this out because the cursor appears double but I guess it will fade..later? Anyway, I feel quite bad that I haven't been blogging because it is quite a mad rush to get to the laptop when my cousin was here. Nevertheless, will try to make up for it.

Oh! I've always wanted to win some make up this year because I didn't want to always indulge in buying a new one and  also because I don't have those branded make up and always have to rely on drugstore brands. Then of course, there is the matter of financial needs where make up is not a necessity but I am a girl and I just love how make up can truly enhance your looks.

But I have been blessed :) Now I don't celebrate Christmas because well, I am a muslim but then we just adapt the gift receiving part or rather, making someone happy with the joy of giving provided of course it is something that is nice and not because you are trying to get rid of the item, haha.

Anyway, I go this as a Christmas present..

Clinique superfit make up and make up palette..i like! I got it from my work colleague who has been so nice to me and is a gem to work with. Sometimes I ponder if I am ever able to venture out from there and work somewhere else, haha. But in life, one has to move on and find new experience. It is a matter of when to find that time and when you are ready.

Her daughter works in Clinique and that time I asked if I could order an item from her through her daughter and she said can. But I could only think  of one item which is practical enough as I use it for my facial cleansing and I've run out of it. I wanted to get the highly raved bobbi brown gel eyeliner but when I searched the net, found out that it was $40. Er...I think that $40 can go towards other expense. 

I felt quite bad that despite her getting such neat items for me, including the trial size superfit make up (by the way she also gave me other clinique products including one full size facial soap bar) which I've always wanted to buy, I only got one item. I just am trying to resolve in spending less on make up items right after buying a few items with my bonus. Inflation rate is increasing and one neeods to be careful on their spending. But it doesn't mean that we should forsake our beauty routine. We should aim to still look good to give us that bit of confidence boost and a good make up (I don't mean those super thick ones) can help us achieve that. Plus you don't need to spend a lot of moolah on it if you can find just as good alternatives.

While you know I will not splurge on expensive make up items if I can find good drug store alternatives, I can't argue with the quality of the more branded ones. That is why I am super stoked that not only did I get that Clinique make u palette, I won something make up related :)

Anna Sui Queen of the Night Eye Colour Palette & Lip Gloss Set

I got the email when I was checking my bb on Christmas morning and was in disbelief when I saw the subject line because I never thought I could win something. I took part mainly because it is easy to take part in it. Normally when they asked us to write some reason or answer their question with our own answer, I'm like..eurgh..too lazy to think of one. But this time round, I thought why not since I do have the answer to their question and the prizes are not bad. I actually wanted the lancome eyeshadow palette but still,  I am thankful.

So while this year has been quite a bad year for me when it comes to finances and my health, I mustn't let it dampen my spirits for a better year in 2012. Therefore I am very appreciative of little things like this that make me happy :) and forget for awhile about the negative aspects in life.

If you celebrate Christmas, may you enjoy yourself during this festive occasion and be good to your family.

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Not So Private at Home

My cousin has been staying with me for almost two weeks. It was supposed to be for a day or two but my aunt fell ill and we had to send her to hospital. So now my mum is her like her temporary caretaker. Her dad is working and she doesn't want to be looked after by her other elder aunt whom she has been staying with the family before they came over to our house. So currently my mum is super busy because not only does she has to attend to both our needs, which is me and my brother, but now also my cousin and in between also has to go visit her sister who is my cousin's mother. The frustrating thing about all of this is my cousin isn't really easy to take care of but now she is getting used to it and sees my mother as someone who is strict yet loving at the same time. Although with us she used to be more strict than loving, haha. I guess it is just her way of instilling discipline since young. 

 Children tend to learn from the adults they interact with and my cousin grew up with a pair of parents who are hot headed and always quarreling with each other although they still pamper her. However, I think they pampered her too much that she tends to get her way. But with my mum, she has to get used to the strict disciplinarian in her. Somehow like my aunt, she is very adaptive though yes, it's also frustrating when she's being quite a brat initially. 

Of course we value our privacy at home and then now that my aunt is going to be discharged soon, she would rather stay at my house temporarily. She also has her antics which add on to my mum's stress level though I must admit that she is coping well. At least on my side and my brother's, we are not as demanding and like whatever you want to do and as appropriate. 

But we can't do much now except to hope that this temporary set up will be over soon. You know I always believe that you shouldn't trouble other people with your own personal dilemmas and for my aunt, her family dramas whether with her husband or with her extended family. She just reads too much into people's well intentions and then also tend to blow up small matters with her explosive nature. Come on, she even finds fault with the doctors and nurses at the hospital she is in. I don't know why she has such an angry and disruptive nature. My mum says that some of her siblings take over the trait from my late grandfather who liked to talk 'big' and get angry easily.  

Because of this too, sometimes I feel the stress too as I listen to my mum talk about my aunt over and over again. It is just too clearly frustrating but I am thankful that I have the patience of my father though of course, my patience has its limits.

So while I'm hoping for things to be back to normal, I on the other hand, has FINALLY received my year end bonus :) The news about the up and coming economic bleakness is all over and uhm I have to protect my ass again before I ruin this whole 'I am rich' moment with my financial downfall again. I have paid my outstanding dues and also got the things on my wish list which frankly speaking isn't extensive. I just bought some make up for $47 online, new clothes from H&M and finally had that all day breakfast meal from Coffee Bean. Now I just want to buy a pair of sandals coz mine are just freaking worn out ever since I bought them in March. I didn't even buy a Guess wallet, a bag or shoes like every freaking year. Cutting down on bonus expenses this year.

Oh, I also had a meal at Fish & Co. I was supposed to eat at Manhattan Fish Market with my brother but the queue was so long and that my mum was getting frustrated trying to find a shop in a shopping mall nearby our home that we had to forgo our dinner there. My brother was so upset but somehow he got over it when he ate at Fish & Co. He was angry though initially coz he said that we would have eaten there if my mum wasn't so bothered about finding some new outfit for my cousin. She said that my aunt kept asking her to buy this and that, wash her clothes from hospital and gosh my aunt can be so irritating. When you are in a hospital, just behave like you are in hospital. 

Anyway, in just one day I spent $300 but nevertheless, I am still satisfied. I still have loads left but I am just stashing the balance away.  Pray hard that nothing comes up and demands a lot of money. I also need to stash it for the KL trip and buy some gifts for my two girlfriends for our year end Christmas celebration. End of the year, we will get our maintenance allowance and I really hope that things don't turn for the worse like the one in October. Goodness, it was such a stressful period when there was a delay in giving our allowance. I had seeked reimbursement end of last month but I haven't received it yet and I pray it won't clash with the date of set allowance or we are back to square one again.

I am having some problems with the text while typing this blog post out and I don't know how, the text always appear so big and I had to keep changing the text size.

I shall end here. So if you are one of those who have received your year end bonus or is receiving soon, spend wisely. Enjoy yourself but also spare some money for reserves.

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Thursday, December 08, 2011

Work & Economy Woes

I've been bogged down with work recently because I am rushing to make payments and process personal claims. Ain't easy and I had to return to work even on Saturdays to get the ball rolling on some work before it starts to accumulate as I also anticipate even more work coming in. Shudders :s

But I take it all in my stride because it is part of work. I used to complain about having little work to do especially when my ex colleague was around and she was a control freak. Although now it seems that I have too much work, haha. Oh well. Just have to be fast like some robot.

I guess that is why there are some people who are willing to leave cushy jobs with such a good pay because of too much work pressure and never ending deadlines. Some also don't even mind taking a paycut just to do something they like and truly enjoy.

For me of course I can't afford to be in such a situation although I do still hold on to my dream of having an online store selling my own handmade accessories. It is just that I have problems managing my time to incorporate this into my lifestyle. But then again, if there are others who have a full time job and run such business, then I guess it is just a matter of whether I have the passion for it or not.

Enough about work. I can't wait for payday. I know I mentioned this before in my earlier post but the anticipation is killing me, haha. I honestly don't know how much I will be getting but pretty soon I guess. You know I've always admired those who have an ipad 2 or the samsung galaxy tab like I also want one. Such an interesting device to have. Just yesterday I was toying with the idea of actually getting an ipod touch for games and for surfing using wifi connection. I can hardly surf the internet on this low end blackberry but of coz I try not to do it too much or I will incur unnecessary charges. But having so much difficulty just to open a link? Too much, I say.

Thinking twice, or thrice even, I believe the best is to just ensure that I have reserves. Economy isn't doing so well and prices are increasing. There is no way I can survive without such a reserve. So I guess no choice lah. Once I have some form of reserves, then I see if I can get an ipod touch ;)

I admire those people who are selfless and who actually spare a thought to those people in need rather than just spending on luxury items for themselves or their family members. Kids these days get to have such hi tech gizmos that people like me have to write a blog post just to justify whether they should get an ipod touch that cost just SGD 288 haha.

But I feel that families that can afford should teach their children from young to care for the needy. I work in a school environment and it is appalling hearing how some children are simply so rude and demanding towards their family to get what they want. I recently read the news about a Singaporean woman who donated 70K to the people in Ethiopia so that they can have a hospital that has basic medical supplies to treat the sick.

Although not many of us can afford to donate such a large amount, but it is the small little ways that we can contribute that will make a huge difference. I also read about those stories about families who are not well to do but they still help out ways that they can towards others in even more dire situations than them. I absolutely salute such people. They themselves need help but they feel that as long as they can support themselves, they don't wish to receive financial help. They want to be independent.

Money is never enough even for the rich. They just want to make more and more and for what, I also don't know. Life isn't just about making money. It is about living a good quality life for ourselves and making the society a better place to live in.

Ok ok I shan't torture you with my ramblings any further. Just think about it. Selflessness can go a long way surpassing the value of money and hi tech gizmos.
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Looking Forward to Two Upcoming Events

Have you heard the latest news that make up can cause cancer? The horror! And though I don't often wear make up, I don't deny that I have the tendency to buy make up like some sort of collection. However I don't actually buy the expensive ones like mac simply coz I can't afford it. Can you imagine if I can?

Anyway, no cause to panic yet coz it's still in the preliminary research but whatever it is, I've mentioned before a few times that make up contains chemicals, whether you like it or not even if the colours are so pretty and intense. You should have more emphasis on skincare. When you have a good skincare routine, your skin will look flawless and even if it can't reach a porcelain standard, the least it should be is that it is almost blemish free and has as few wrinkles and sun spots as possible. Why? Because aging skin can make you look older even if you are still young like for example in your twenties or your early thirties.

So yes once again, don't fret. Just go easy with the make up :)

On to more important stuffs, ha! I actually started a new blog which I will let you know in time to come. I would say it is less personal but with me, I tend to ramble so I guess it will be pretty much the same ol' same ol' mumbo jumbo, haha. But it will never be as personal as this one so I won't actually abandon ship.

So today is the last day of November and we are officially going to be at the tail end of 2011. How have your year been? I can honestly tell you, mine's horrible. But I managed to slightly turn it around a bit and hope it will remain as such because I don't want to end the year on a sour note. Somehow, maybe it is written in my stars that my luck isn't as good this year and I keep falling and falling into terrible dilemmas. But I just take it as a stepping stone into making a positive turn in my life and just learning from experience and how to avoid certain pitfalls.

I am still blessed that in the midst of such dilemmas, people are willing to extend a helping hand and they have helped me a lot. Sometimes, as much as you try to be careful, if life is to throw you a boomerang, somehow you will get hit whether you like it or not. You just have to learn to take a hit, get up and get moving again.

It's not easy but I am a mere mortal.

Currently I am so looking forward to two upcoming occasions. One of them is a new year's eve meet up with my two besties, on when else, but new year's eve itself. I called up a restaurant for our buffet dinner coz you have no idea how much I love buffet and it must be like a once in a year kind of event like karaoke. Then first week of Jan, me and the girls will head to...KL, Malaysia, for a shopping spree and this time, it will be a 3 day affair instead of the 2 day affair when we went there in 2009. Why? Because my friend said that it will be very rushing for us. Me? I am looking forward to the hotel stay only because gosh, it's going to be so nice to be staying in a five star hotel, which a friend of mine managed to book a room with corporate rates under her company's name. Splendid!

Honestly, I am not big on shopping but I do pray and hope that I get to visit the Inglot will be like a little make up haven for me, squee! If not, I'm just contented to bring back some new clothes and also a bag at least. A high quality coach imitation bag? Hehe. I know it's not the real deal but honestly I cannot afford one and will never spend such an exorbitant amount on a bag. 

So for now, I'm just chilling and hope that prior to the D Day, aka bonus day, nothing gets in the way that requires money coz I have just enough to survive until that day. Shudders.

Any plans for the new year?

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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Bonus Crunch

They have released the bonus rate that we will be getting as civil servants. Technically I am not a civil servant but I work for the gahmen (government in Singapore speak) so I will be getting that same bonus rate. Of course how much each one gets varies and yes there are people who are not happy with it. Happy or not, we are still getting that rate. 

I don't question these people who earn quite a lot (in comparison to me who earns peanuts) with just their basic pay so naturally they will be more opinionated regarding such dismal rate given our economy isn't doing very well this year. Those people around the same pathetic salary range as me would be happy as a lark. I predicted there won't be an 'extras' like some one off payment but seriously it is whatever for me. As long as I get my bonus and ok, sheepishly, as long as it goes by a certain targeted salary range, I'm happy. Heck, I am happy as long as there's additional moolah! Yes I get happy easily.

So rubbing my hand in glee, what can I get for myself? As a, you know, little reward. As usual make up. I am entertaining the thought of either a mac product or the Sleek oh-so-special palette. Look at this ah...

You can easily go from day to night look with versatile!

I know a local seller that is selling this palette at $22 (mailed) or through a local spree-er who will order from the sleek website directly on  her  buyers' behalf and then we all share the ex shipping charges. Well, only a beauty junkie or a beauty junkie ahem yours truly...will rave over such products while people like my other friend would think what is the big deal. Ok fine, all my other friends.

To me, everyone is entitled to like or go gaga over. Honestly I don't really like people to question things like 'why do you like such things?'. I understand they don't appreciate such things but I do know they appreciate other things like for instance, accessories or bags (whether in poor taste or otherwise) or even shoes. So be it. I like it and that's it. You don't have to question why I like them because to you, it is an absolute waste of time and money. I don't say you buying shoes after shoes (which look almost the same for every new pair bought) is a complete waste of time and money. So give me my own personal space of appreciation of such things. Don't have to diss me for it.

Sorry sidetracking that a bit because it can get frustrating after awhile..

For myself, I do think that some girls are going crazy practically over everything beauty junkies recommend or purchase but be selective especially when they are still very young and skin care to me, is still better than buying such product after product. My choice of make up products is very simple. I like versatility and affordability. Big name make up products don't really interest me though I must admit they can be really good. Or free, heh..

Okay apart from make up what can I buy? Hrm..can't think of anything else. Oh! New clothes! I did a wardrobe overhaul recently like clearing clothes that look rather worn out. So now I basically need new clothes and I've always wanted to buy stuffs from H&M apart from the usual Mango. I know the store is like overrated but whatever coz I can get some basic tops from there for work and for play so it is fine for me. And I also need a bag, not from Charles & Keith this time, but from Mango. But only during their sales period, hehe.

I am entertaining thoughts of getting a Guess bag. I've always wanted one :( but never got round to it. I decided that perhaps this year I will get (again during sales period only) so if I decided to get one, I won't buy shoes coz I had made a loot purchase during their recent warehouse sales. 

Then, I also need to buy a new mattress coz my mattress is so flat like a pancake. My mattress is the sort you see at a pasar malam or night market. The foldable type often with the cartoon caricatures and not the one from King Koil. I don't need a fancy shmancy mattress. Heck you give me a rundown sofa and I can easily fall asleep on it too.

Let me tell you that I can plan, but eventually I will buy rubbish items which I then don't use because I got them as I have money to spend. Whatever I have planned to buy, eventually I may have to shelf those plan (except for the mattress and the sleek make up palette) because I remembered this year I went through hell and back in regards to money issues.

I am just glad to have the money stored in my bank accounts and that I can afford to buy basic necessities for my family and treat my family out. Even if I don't get the Guess bag or the Mango bag, it doesn't matter. We all must have some emergency savings fund. Unexpected things happen whether we like it or not. Trust me, I've been through it this year a lot.

Then remember that there are people who slog their way through work and then companies don't give them any bonus. Unfair but it's the reality that some companies take their people for granted and are mostly profit driven for themselves only. Also, there are other people who are still looking for jobs or even do any odd job labour just to put food on the table.

So whatever bonus amount you get or the unhappiness you have over the bonus rate, always be thankful. Spend wisely and save some money. But you know, everyone's different. It's two more weeks from now. Yay me!

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Friday, November 25, 2011

Rose Blush with A Hint of Gold Shimmers

I don't wear make up often but....I like to buy make up items provided they are affordable and are raved about by other people so that I don't waste money and that I don't feel like I'm buying rubbish. Money is so precious so sometimes you just want to buy an affordable one that is not a crappy product but makes you feel like a million dollars. Okay, I will be satisfied just being in the region of thousands.

Anyway, I am trying my best not to be obsessed so much with buying of make up because like I said, money is oh so precious to me. There will be times when I would be raking my brain on how to survive like another two more weeks prior to payday and then when payday comes, I will struggle again. In other words, I basically live from pay cheque to pay cheque.

Enough of my life story..haha. As if you don't already know. I still believe that every woman can be beautiful, not necessarily in the looks department. Make up is only meant to enhance one's natural beauty and not hiding it under layers and layers of make up.

I recently bought this Sleek blush (like as usual, do I really need one?) Well, I do when it is such a pretty colour (rose and hints of gold highlights) and then when I actually kiv it as in only buy it much later when pay comes in, the website drops a bombshell. They left one piece. The horror! So basically I just had to buy it and then after doing some mini calculations in my head, I decided that I can afford it. Actually it's just $12 but remember, I'm not that well off in the first place and this is not a necessity to get by in life. 

Yes very the philosophical there.

I managed to get it and then mere days later, I received an email and fb alert about a Sleek spree where someone will collect money and buy on our behalf and then we all will share the shipping costs which can be a killer when you buy internationally. On top of the shared shipping costs, depending on the buyer, you will also have to pay for the handling fees and mailing fees. It's cost saving but you really need to get a good reliable spree-er or you can do like me, don't buy in bulk and just get one or two items. 

Looksie! Looksie!


I wore it yesterday and I like it. It's pigmented and I just like the gold shimmer shimmer. To me, it's good for most skin tones but if you have fair skin tone, use it sparingly. In this case, less is usually more.

The funny thing was that after I got the last one (yay me!), on the comments page of the spree-er's blog post for the order, many ordered this same exact shade. Oops.

Anyway, Sleek blushes have always been compared to NARS which is so beyond my budget and honestly I won't spend so much on a blush. Ok I did once too when I bought an Anna Sui one few years ago which sadly, I lost it :((

For comparison between the two products, you can refer to this you tuber

If you ask me, NARS is a better product but ONLY if you can afford it. But then, remember make up is meant to enhance and if an affordable product basically gives you the coverage that makes you look and feel good, then it is good enough.

Currently there is a spree-er who is organizing a Sleek spree but you have to hurry as she is gonna close her batch soon.

Miss-Jo Spree

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Learning Journey to the Arts Science Museum

 Just a week ago, I actually went to the Arts Science Museum which was part of the Marina Bay Sands for the titanic exhibition, with my other colleagues. It was a last minute decision. My boss signed up for it and forgotten and since I am always going on such learning journeys because one, I get to visit places where I normally don't go too especially those places where I have to pay, second, well I get to escape from the office and thirdly, it's paid for :D

Yes, I'm a freebo like that.

It was a guided tour with strictly no photography and it was educational as we got to see the real artifacts from the titanic which they found beneath thousands of feet underneath. Honestly I'm not really keen with museum visits despite the educational value but no harm, learning new things. Like did you know that people back then were treated with different classes and the treatment between the rich and the poor varied so greatly. I cannot imagine going an entire cruise journey with the loud humming sound coming from the engine as the cubicles were nearer to them than those who were rich. They also had to share the same small sized cubicle with three other people. Infact, the rich people or the first class people actually got to enjoy the most expensive forms of decorations and treatment, sorta like being treated like royalty.

It was really bad the way they distinguished between the rich and the poor. So sad that even now such disparities still exist in many countries where the rich are absolutely so freaking rich while the poor had to content with scavenging for food in the incinerator plants or live in filthy conditions. Such is the unfairness of the world.

Since pictures were generally not allowed, whatever pictures I have taken are just..those that can be taken? Haha..

As usual, enjoy!

The 'ship' in the Marina Bay Sands

At first I thought they built an actual replica inside the museum

As I was standing there taking the pic, we were actually standing inside the longest finger!

Video display that was breathe taking with its special effects..

A guide regarding the exhibition but for pri school teachers for their students

Ooh..each one of us was a real life character. Mine came onboard alone and died alone :(

All aboard!

Rest in peace Jane Carr

My ticket..without this ticket, I couldn't get out through the fare gate

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Survived a Financial Management Course!

Are you one of those number crunchers who understand accounting terminology and can easily see an account and know what is amiss as in why the heck the whole damn thing won't balance?

Honestly, I am not. I will never be. So am I one of those who read voraciously and have a wide vocabulary? And that I can write a well thought out article. I mean since Maths is not my forte.

Nope, not me either.

I am one of those whom you can say is an in betweener, if there's such a word. Anyway, I can honestly tell you I'm not that smart enough to elicit questions every now and then when the trainer was conducting the training or during seminar when it comes to the faq part, to post questions. 

But I am not one of those who ask questions for the sake of asking questions or without prior understanding. In other words, just shoot the questions to the point of making other people think like oh, didn't they explain that earlier? Just goes to show you were not listening and you were busy coming up with questions in your head. Yes yes, you are smart. No need to advertise.

Perhaps one of the things that I would say I'm quite okay is that I'm pretty tech savvy so systems whatsoever don't quite baffle me. It will at first but I will somehow work my way around and not get too lost. I guess you can say this is my strength. I used to struggle but in the line of work, need to just suck it up, learn from your mistakes and do it well. 

I think for the work newbies, nevermind if you think that your colleagues are better than you whatsoever. You will find your strengths, work on them, learn from your mistakes and don't be afraid to bring up suggestions which you think will benefit the company.

If you are wondering what I do in my line of work, well previously I didn't do that much but now I'm doing the accounts which is the bulk of my work. It is tolerable though not so much but in general, if I have the option, I would rather be a professional bummer, hahaha. I just don't have the work smarts like the majority of people. Too bad I wasn't born in a royalty family.

So I had been attending a financial course for the last 3 days and my brain is so fried, that I am on leave from work today. Okay not really. I am on leave because my brother was supposed to be going for a medical appointment but he refused to go because he had to go for a fitness test. And he is already on follow up for his asthma, he doesn't need one more follow up.

I can't force him. You can't force things with a 16 year old teenager :S but whatever it is, at least my pocket is save, haha.

Oh, sidetracking there a bit. So yah, after this course I figured that I just don't have the work smarts but luckily for the next two days after the theory heavy Monday, we moved on to the hands on session with the system and I could go through without a hitch. Well only initially because I didn't know the user id was pasted on the keyboard, haha. I just missed that one single instruction from them. That's all, I swear!

So now I am a survivor of the course! yay!

Until I return to work and then have to put them into practice : /

I learnt a lot of things and uhm, some mistakes which I have been doing. I had been following on instructions based on my predecessor who had left for greener pastures and better pay.

So anyway, yay I'm off work today! Will be blogging more later on today :)

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Life 101: Be an Empowered Woman

I sometimes think that I am not good enough and not pretty enough for guys especially to create some sort of interest but this is a very negative thing. It can make me an unhappy person who is unsatisfied about herself because I always feel that someone is better.

But we must be an empowered woman. We have to exude confidence without being cocky. We must be knowledgeable and know what is going on with the current events and trends. This is not to impress. It is to keep our minds active as well as to ensure that we are not left behind when we make conversations with people.

An empowered woman knows what she wants and go all out to achieve them but without hurting other people in the process by playing dirty and being mean. We have to be sincere in our hearts with genuine intentions so that people don't misunderstand us and we can generally get along well with people because they feel at ease talking to us without fear of being back stabbed or bad mouthed behind their backs.

While we may go and achieve our dreams, we must not forget who are our real friends are and the people who play key role in our lives by being kind and supportive towards us. In life, there are all kinds of people. Some have ill intentions, some may make use of others for personal gains and there will be others who only spit venoms and are just plain mean for no reason.

But always know that among such people, there are those who are kind hearted, generous and are generally an overall good person. Aim to be such people. Getting through life will be easier because people are more willing to help if we are sincere in our intentions.

An acquaintance recently mentioned that we should keep our options open in the singles market to get to know more guys. While I thought that it is easier for her to say because she is tall, slim and pretty unlike chubby and average looker me, that shouldn't be the case. There are many big sized girls who have found love in smaller sized guys who practically see these girls as more than being big sized. Keep loving yourself because it will show through and even give you this inner shine that cannot be replicated by the amount of make up that you use.

So if you have a guy in mind that you really like but always feel that you are not good enough, I suggest you put such thoughts aside. Even just now when I saw this guy and I find him rather sexy but seriously think that of course he will rather go for those chio girls or the prettier girls than plain old me.

But you will never know. While we don't know our fate for now or for the future, do know that we are capable enough to be an empowered woman and that we have the power to change our destiny.

So go on, chase your dreams. Write down your goals & inspirations and make step by step plans on achieving them. Along the line, things may change but always have some things for you to aim for achievement because it just makes life more meaningful with a clearer purpose.

Therefore, to my fellow plus size girls, don't underestimate what you've got in you. A guy may find you sexy and charming when you are heavily criticizing yourself.

So as for me, if I come across similar guys like the one who gave us a briefing just now for the course, I shouldn't think of it as forget it, will NEVER happen. See it as an opportunity to make new friends and who knows, along the way things may change for the better.

It is easier said than done for shy people like me, to be honest. But we habe to try somewhere to aim to be an empowered woman.

Let's embark on this empowerment journey if you haven't done so like me. Open a new chapter in life and start writing down your goals & inspirations.
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Monday, November 21, 2011

Make Up Purchases and Winning Loot

I have purchased several items quite recently and I know I know I've said that I want to avoid buying make up but when I buy, I make sure they are worthy enough for me to even make a purchase but of course, I try to ensure I have enough money for necessities. Very important! What I do normally is to cut down my next purchase and to save up some loose change every now and then so that I can put them back into my bank account.

Well technically, I didn't buy all. I took part quite recently in an urban email contest which I never failed to do so every week (unless they are men's product or they only have a few up for grabs) and I just count on my lucky stars.

Then I actually won something..wahey! I won the Pantene shampoo product hampers and my goodness, they seriously dump their products on me. I don't have to uhm...worry about buying shampoo the next time? Unless of course they give me a serious case of itch.

Let's go on to the pics!

I've wanted this for so long! Most similar products like this don't give me a clear line but a faded one.

It creates a super thin line and is even perfect for klutz with shaky hands like me.

I bought this sparkley look blush by elf for only $7.

It is slightly smaller than my Sleek blush but then I am just paying $7 so can't complain.

I also bought a highlighter from elf for also $7.

Beauty bloggers raved about this and I got mine! This is SGD$12.50 and the colours are super pigmented. I got a shock too when I applied. Elf Comfort Zone make up palette

My winning stash! I told you they simply dumped them on me.

Imagine these set X 5.

Akin to Mac's paint pot? New from Maybelline. Selling for $16.50

Can use this as a base and then build up your eyeshadow colours for longer lasting staying power.

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Make Up Bag Essentials

Do you girls actually bring a make up bag or at least a pressed powder, blotting paper or even a comb in your bag? I'm a girl and I am guilty of...not bringing such things! What the hey...

But really, whether you are girl in the early twenties, mid twenties..or like me, er...thirty-ish, we must aim to always look good. Sure we have some shabby moments like we just couldn't be bothered but even then, I think we should aim to look good 99% of the time.

Why? Not because of the men. Well, unless you are a swinging single and then you want to dress to impress.

Okay the reason why I'm talking about this is because I realize that I am not doing myself a favour. It just occurred to me as I was attending a course and then the second last segment of the course, a speaker from the charities department struck me in the head and I went like 'wowza'. Honestly, he isn't super hot but just well, can tell that he bothers enough about the way he looks and present himself. As I was 'glazing' over his good looks and tanned bod, I realize what a slob I am and ashamed to be called a girl because of this. I though that hey, he must be younger than me and then of course, he looks good and wait till he reaches a certain age.

Okay I think too much but then I was wrong. When he was trying out a system for us to see, he keyed in his IC number into it and my goodness, he is a good 5 years older than me. Yet he looks younger than me and even boyish looking. I'm stumped. He makes me look like his mother. 

But normally when I go on courses, I tend to dress up a bit all thanks to my mum because she makes an effort to select what clothes to wear and then I also put on a biiiit of make up like a brightening face powder and blusher because I will also be meeting other people. So I didn't look like his mother. Maybe his elder sister.

Then it occurred to me on another round like at this stage of my life, I should be up and about getting to know people especially guys. I've spoken numerous times on this before but it is just that well, I sheepishly have never made any guy friends unless you count the ones at my workplace which do not go beyond one hand.

While ultimately we should be judged not based on our looks but how well we get along with the person, somehow first impressions always last. As a woman, we must always try our best to make an effort to look good.

Yet sadly, while as much as I try to do that, mid day or at the end of the day, I look like such an unkempt mess. Sigh. Before reaching home from work, I only comb my hair once in the morning when I go to work and then never touch up my face and let the shine on my face be glorious looking.

If you are like me, it is high time we treat ourselves as high maintenance. Whether you are married, dating or a swinging single, we deserve to treat ourselves with respect starting from the way we dress and present ourselves.

So let's start off with a basic make up bag. Don't have one? Start small. Even if you don't put on make up every day, I think these are the essentials that you must have in the bag.

Wide tooth comb

Comb - a definite must which I swear I should start carrying coz my hair tends to get frizzy especially when exposed to aircon. 

Kleenex blotting paper

Blotting Paper - the kind to absorb the oil on your face. You can also use a pocket tissue. Personally I don't like this. I just dab using tissue paper.

ZA concealer

Concealer - you can get the one with the doe foot applicator or a tube kind and then dab dab and blend under your eyes and if I were to meet people, I will use them for the eyes so that they look brighter.

Maybelline matte dream powder

Pressed Powder - the best is to use it with a brush. You can get the retractable kind so that it can be stored easily and it's also more hygienic than sponge.

Sleek Rose Gold and Mac lipstick

Make up - you can stash a small make up kit with neutral colours in matte to make your peepers flutter worthy. You can also stash an eyeliner because if you already apply before you leave the house, halfway in the day, it will fade unless you get those long lasting ones like urban decay 24/7. For lipsticks, you can get those every day kind of lip colour like a peachy colour which is flattering for most skin tones and for most days. Should keep a perm one in your bag. Of course take note of the expiry dates as well. Get a longer lasting lipstick so that you don't always have to touch up on it. You can pack in a blusher because believe me, blushers can perk up your face. To further enhance your face, you can use a highlighter to enhance the top of your cheeks and nose bridge for instance.

Well, these are in my opinion, the essentials. Of course it is not exhaustive depending on what kind of people you meet and the kinds of occasions you are in.

If you want to be more comprehensive, you can read one of the top beauty blogger's post on touching your make up which I think is a really good and useful read:

Touching Up Your Make up

To me, never ever dress up because you want to impress your man or any man. Dress up because you are treating yourself with respect. While I don't deny that there are days where you just want to wear an over sized shirt, you shouldn't be sloppy most of the times. It may seem difficult to make it a habit to look good, but eventually you will like what you see and others may also like what they see and you may also be having a better social life. Then of course, like eveything else, you don't have to be friends with everyone.

The point is, be good to yourself. First thing, prep yourself a good make up bag, however small, with the most essential things that you will most likely use.

Good luck babes!

Oh, what is in YOUR make up bag?

Clinique mini make up bag

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Ghost of Our Past

Heya. What a week and for the next few days I will be away from my workplace to attend a course and for a day off. Yay!

I recently met up with this one friend again and I don't know how to put it but I think she's feeling pretty jaded in regard to our friendship and I honestly think we are not going anywhere. Actually it is not just recently but I just felt that it has gotten worse. I just wish that she doesn't compare me to her other friends who obviously have more choice of freedom than me who is eternally tied to my family so long as I'm still in the best of my health.

I know that my life is pretty limited because of my family responsibilities especially my mum as she can be rather neurotic and also controlling. But she still cares for us and fuss over our needs. The fact that she is very reluctant to let me travel overseas because she can't afford to lose me as I'm the only sole breadwinner. My friend asked me then when can I travel to see the world? When I'm in my forties? Fifties?!

I couldn't care less. Even if I'm off that age, I believe Europe is still there...Australia is still there. Plus even my mum let me travel, I don't have the moolah. It ain't cheap to travel. Even for my upcoming trip to KL, I have to wait until bonus time so I can stash some money for it.

My friend also commented that I've travelled overseas with my other friends but not her. Er, honestly I don't wanna go with her. Even for our coffee dates, which she never paid her for half share by the way, it is so freakin' boring!! She would people watch and make comments about them and make me turn every now and then to look at them.

I honestly think it is rather rude like you are with a friend and suppose to try making conversations with her but you are more interested seeing how tall or skinny a girl is or how 'auntie' she looks like from her dressing. I know she has her insecurities, like I do too, but really, does she have to point them out every now and then?

I am used to her antics and especially her blatant remarks pertaining to my life. I don't really care and don't take to heart whatever she says. Honestly I don't have time to listen to people who don't even listen to me. I feel that I am kind enough to agree to go out with her, albeit reluctantly, because of the years of friendship that we have and I know that she is not about to give up on that too.

Sometimes I do wish she can be a little bit more understanding. And also because she also have her fair share of family problems so I expected her to know how it is for me too when it comes to family. Unfortunately she doesn't.

But whatever it is, I just let it slide coz that's her personality; feisty, independent and don't take excuses type. Still, I'm her friend for so many years and I do expect some form of understanding instead of always thinking she is always right.

Tell me, what can I do? She used to be supportive in the past but now I felt that she has changed quite a lot which I guessed coz of the people she mix around with.

I wish all her best and even if our friendship turns sour, I will treasure the good memories that we have. For now our friendship is just a ghost of our past.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Going On Hiatus

Hi there dear readers :) I will be on a short hiatus for a few days because this week I'm swarmed by work the minute I step into the office & just place my bag on the table. But my colleagues are there to lend a helping hand even without me asking them and seriously, I can't thank them enough.

I am expected to be so busy right up till Friday and while I try my best not to bring work home, I am pretty shagged by the time I reach home. I don't want to write half heartedly or for the sake of writing.

But yes I do have some things to talk about. At most, I will do some quickie posts just to update what is going in my life. In terms of money issues, I am relatively comfortable but you know, I don't want too comfortable & forget totally the hardship I went through to be able to feed my dear family.

I have received my elections allowance & it has been stashed in another savings account. Hopefully counting on fingers & toes, they don't run out before my next pay comes in.

At the moment, I try not to spend too much on myself which includes no buying of make up. But just now I was cajoled into buying this new gel eyeshadow which comes in a small pot. It was sorta like the popular mac's paint pot but cheaper from the drugstore brand Maybelline.

More on this plus other products in my next posts.

I will probably do consecutive blog posts so during my hiatus period, will do short drafts on what I can blog about.

Meanwhile, see you all around and do read my earlier posts. Thanks for your support :)
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Monday, November 07, 2011

Of Rice and Food Wastage

Last time I remembered a second helping of rice was like...pfft..absolute nothing. A third helping then I was absolutely full and satisfied. So just one fine day, I decided to cut down on rice. To me, it is about less is more. You don't need much to be fully satisfied as long as you are enjoying your food and not just gulping it down, no matter how hungry you are. 

I know people completely cut off rice from their diet. But people like me just can't, haha. So the next best thing is to usually to cut down on rice intake which means no second helping and not to have much of it. But my mum always complain I can't finish my rice and that the rice will cry blah blah..and a lot of people can't afford you know, I had to finish the rice compared to the last time when I would proportion part of it and not eat them. So instead of wasting it, she will cut down on the rice but you know, mums are mums, especially if I don't eat during the day and merely snack on biscuits (which has been my habit recently), she will put a bit more. Also, if she cooks fried rice which is  basically cooked with a home made vegetable paste unlike the ones you get from the usual hawker or food centres, she won't be stingy with rice as she wants me to eat veggies.

Normally, I don't like to eat the various dishes cooked with rice such as nasi briyani and the ever popular chicken rice and for malays, the nasi padang which is rice with several spicy malay dishes. Okay, more precisely, not that I don't like them. But you know, I ate so much of them in the early days that to me, what works is just good ol' plain rice without the extra flavourings that usually come with chicken stock, ghee (butter) and what not.

I have eaten brown rice and you can say that I am one of those who wouldn't mind eating it coz I'm kinda used to eating wholemeal stuffs. So I don't see the big deal with the taste. But of course I understand where people come in from especially when they are so used to eating the more flavourful white rice.

At malay weddings, you can't escape from the nasi minyak which is basically something like this..

It is eaten with ayam masak merah (chicken cooked in chili red sauce) and acar (picked vegetables). Normally I like to eat them with loads of acar and brinjal slices from the dhal curry, minus the curry, heh..coz you know me and coconut milk don't mix.

I can say it's absolutely delish but it is cooked with ghee and chicken stock for that extra flavours which I basically don't need but I've never been to a malay wedding where they served white rice so you know, when you are hungry and then stuck with such food, ain't got a choice hun.

With so much talk about rice, actually I wanna talk about food wastage. You have no idea how much food we waste because we simply don't realize it. I wonder how buffet restaurants do with the leftovers. We are a food hub and we have restaurants that are open 24 hours and I don't get why people would wanna eat a full on meal after midnight, but whatever rocks their boat. 

So basically I feel sad whenever I see people leave so much food behind because either they think they took too much and then can't finish it or they are able to finish it but choose not to due to health reasons (a.k.a don't wanna put on weight). The thing is, take only what you can finish. Food may look extra appetizing when you are hungry but believe me, you don't need that much of helping. 

There are people out there who cannot afford such luxuries like us such as rice grains. They're expensive and I know because I buy small packs for my family. I don't buy the bigger packs because we don't eat rice every day and it's pretty sufficient for us. It's also to prevent bugs from paying a visit to the rice grains which usually happen when you keep the rice grains for too long.

I don't crave for such nice food all the time because to me, food is about comfort and you don't need expensive takeaways or dine in to enjoy food. Once in awhile it is okay to have such nice glorious food to celebrate an occasion or as a treat to spend some quality time with friends and family.

Before you waste food, think about this:

There are many people around the world, and even in developed countries like Singapore, who go to bed hungry. So don't simply waste food. It's also an economic waste because such wastage translates to money going down the drain which is better spent elsewhere like on people who are in need of such help to get even the most basic necessities.

So just my plea, as I've seen many times on how food is being wasted, to enjoy your food but without wasting by taking only what you need. If you know you can't finish, do share around with other people which is what I do too when out with friends and family and you can't really control the proportion served.

Are you going to make this change?

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Sunday, November 06, 2011

A Chance to Make Things Better

I didn't really have a chance to talk about the update in my life recently after facing such a huge turmoil that I just am so mind blocked because I didn't know what to do. I did a quick blog post the other day but I felt that this period of time deserved a longer post. I couldn't be more thankful for the reimbursement, which I seriously had doubts that I was going to get which made me so panicky and worried until I fell ill. Even though it was an impromptu decision to ask them for the reimbursement because I seriously thought that I would have enough until payday, turned out I won't which increased my desperateness. Normally I would get the reimbursement but what made this different from the earlier ones was that, I didn't pay it with my own cash. That was the difference which I was seriously hoping they didn't find out. I was practically lying through my teeth when I said I did and that was why I panicked in the event they found out.

So I was scared to talk about it here. Completely scared that I was constantly praying that things would get better and they would just reimburse the money after they asked a series of questions. But I was also quick to acknowledge that I would not want to do such a thing anymore, lest they find out and I get into trouble with the law. I never felt like such a criminal before.

I did try my best to follow up with what I planned to do with the money once I got it. I felt satisfied that I did. While yes I promised not to use the money to buy make up, I er, did but am already on the way of saving up the amount that I spent on using coins and then putting the money back into the bank account. I am careful about spending but I can't afford not to spend on my family since today is Hari Raya Haji and my mum wanted to cook some special food for us. 

With my aunt not being able to return the money to us, the money couldn't have come at a better time and I can never thank enough for the help I received from God whom I prayed endlessly for Him to help my family during such a crisis. Even if you don't believe in God like I said, do believe that when you are sincere in your heart and only have good intentions, things can get better for you.

On another note, I've watched a lot of beauty videos and read a lot of beauty blogs because I simply love make up but sometimes I think these young girls deserve to put their money to better use rather than buy make up after make up. They're at an impressionable age where make up is everything to them because it can really help to enhance their looks. Same sentiments here but when I was younger, or rather around their age coz pfft, I'm still young, buying make up was sooooo hard for me. My father didn't give me a lot of pocket money. And he made it up for me by packing bread for me for school almost every day. Now my mum also packs for me lunch and even made one whole bottle of tea for me even when I have started to work and can afford to buy lunch myself.

So I basically know the hardship of not having enough money and the last thing I do is to of course, buy clothes and make up. I only do so if I have some excess money but even then, I am very selective over what I can buy so that I don't end up with bad buys and waste money. So while you hear me rant about my make up items, like how I shouldn't have bought them but the truth is that, I didn't spend much. I tried to buy those cheap but good quality eyeshadow palettes or blushes online from overseas through a local seller rather than buying from the local drugstores because they are way cheaper. It cuts down the guilt of me buying make up as well.

 There are still a few items that I want to get like the Sleek's oh-so-special eye makeup palette but still thinking because it costs $22 and it begs the question of whether do I still need another one since I hardly ever use eyeshadows...hrm. Blushes, well..considering I do wear them when I go out (but not to work), I don't really feel guilty buying them since Sleek ones cost $12, again through this one local seller, Elf has some collection of blushes which another local seller is selling at only $7. Still, I only have one such blush from each one of them. See, I don't collect them. It's just that sometimes people rave about them so much and then considering how cheap yet how big they are unlike the blush from Silkygirl which is cheap but when I compared, they are like so small :S

See, even if you are poor like me, you deserve to be pampered like a queen :) You just need to know how at a fraction of a price. But do not be so overly enthusiastic about make up because for one thing, they can contain ingredients that may aggravate your skin condition especially if you have young skin or sensitive skin. Good proper habits of skincare is way better. Honestly these girls, if they didn't disclose their age, I would have thought they were about the same age as me but I was surprised to know they were way younger. Even they acknowledged they looked older than their actual age. So in a way, I guess you need to take better care of your skin rather than just relying on make up after make up to mask your actual natural beauty :) So even though not all of us are blessed with good skin, which is like 95% of us, do try to use make up sparingly if possible.

Okay I better get to work with making accessories. I am thinking of black and gold combination because I saw a girl on youtube I think wearing that colour combination and I thought it looked good. Shall see how. Until the next time...

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Love Changes Everything

Have you heard of the song Love Changes Everything? It's an old song but I kinda agree with the title. I believe it does and a majority of it is that love can change a person to be better, more tolerant and more loving.

I've watched many dramas and even movies where a character was so etched in his narrow minded viewpoint that it took love, patience and courage from someone else to change them. And the outcome is the start of a beautiful friendship or even relationship.

So would you change for love or would you rather stick to what you think is right despite them being wrong? To each its own I guess. What is important is that when loves come knocking, you should be more open minded and think about whether you want to be happy or you want to be stuck in your own land where you have this sorta gung ho attitude, but are a complete wreck and crave for some lovin'.

But love is not without its pitfalls. Some girls may prefer not being stuck in a relationship and would rather get to know more people and move around while some girls would wanna be with a guy who care and love them like no tomorrow. Whatever it is, as a young lady or a grown woman, the most important thing is that we must be capable of taking good care of ourselves. We should banish the mentality that we need guys to move on in life and that without guys, we are a complete wreck. While love can change a person, we mustn't be so clouded in or judgments that we simply forget to live our own lives instead of relying on the guy because in the future, nobody knows what is going to happen. One moment you can be happy and another moment you will be in such a deep pit not knowing how to get out and survive.

We must be able to walk with our head held high and knowing that while nice guys who cherish and love us can be such a great addition to our lives, we must know that no matter how nice a guy is, anything can happen. It's not black magic. It's just a fact that people can change for better or worse.

I watched a talk show and I believe it is true that while it is great that a guy can hold your hand, when he lets go, are you able to stay strong or you are just to crumble and fall? I understand that a woman's heart is fragile and we an emotional lot. It will simply wreck our heart when we find out that the one who we thought truly loved us, suddenly leave us and God forbid, for someone else. 

But believe me, just like everything else, things can get better if we only open ourselves to the possibilities for another chance at love. The end of one relationship doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

So it works both ways. While love can change everything, ultimately it is up to the person to make the decision. Whatever the decision made, let us be strong and move on in life if things don't come to a good end.

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Friday, November 04, 2011

Busy As A Bee

Busy busy busy. That is practically me for the week at work. I finished work quite late & then even had to wake up earlier a few hours before to do some work and right after typing this out, will sleep and then wake up earlier again.

Anyway I hope to get into regular programming next week after such a frenzy. Luckily, I've got additional help with the new officer who helped me to make some of the calls and to maintain the database.

But that aside, in my personal life, things are relatively better. Finally, they reimbursed the money to me despite me trying my luck and frantically praying every day hoping to get the money. It couldn't have come at a better time when money was running so low already and I was in a state of panic because my pay day is still far ahead.

I've made a promise to myself that I will take very good care of this 'windfall' until my bonus next month. I've also promised not to get myself into unnecessary worry though I felt that it was a desperate case. Oh yeah, I told myself too that make up purchases are NOT allowed with this money as well. This is a difficult position for me actually as I was browsing through and they all looked so pretty. Guess I have to wait to buy them with my salary.

So far I have used the money to pay some outstanding bills due for some time already. I have also paid back the money to one person. I bought dinner for my family including Domino's pizza which my brother wanted for the longest time. Later after work, I will be withdrawing some to be used within budget until my pay day next week.

Despite my busy schedule, I will be having an extended hols due to the public hol on Monday. Yay, can't wait! I deserve a break!

So that is my latest update. Will be blogging some neat stuffs relating to lifestyle like health & beauty over the weekend.

Whatever it is, I am thankful to God for the wonderful opportunities at work and also the big financial help. It couldn't have come at a better time. My aunt who had borrowed money dropped the bombshell that she could only return next month instead of this month. I just knew she couldn't return because of the situation that she is in now regarding her house so I was so pleased they reimbursed me.

Alright now, will be sleeping and waking up early again to do work. See ya then.
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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Movie Talk

I've been sick the last few days. Now I'm over the aching part of fever (gawd, it was terrible) and I can go do about my other stuffs except that my energy level is not exactly at optimum speed , like as if it is on other days. But basically you know the deal with illness. You are just not up to speed. 

Anyway, it is almost the ending of October (yezza!) and I know this has just been one of the worst years of my life and I don't know whether in November, it is going to be any better. I am still holding on to my fate as I wait with bated breath on whether they will approve and reimburse my claims for June. I need the money. Please God make it happen.

So how did I spend my sick days? Well, when everything is so uncomfy like sitting down & lying down, a little bit of entertainment wouldn't kill except there wasn't much to see. But instead, I saw myself watching a few made in the early 80's and 90's movies. How come? I don't know. I just happen to stumble on to them and I er, watch them. They were pretty interesting, sad yet insightful.

If you follow my blog, you would by now know that I am not in favour of current movies as in those big blockbusters. And the remakes of good ol' favourites, like come on...they're not even half as good. But yes I do give in sometimes like I don't think that remakes are terrible. If done well, they can really stand out. It depends on the creativity of the screenwriters, directors and what have they. Oh, and hot actors. Yes, the hotter the better. Shallow me.

I got no actual preference in movies but definitely not horror. Believe it or not, I grew up on horror movies. I had no idea how it all started but let me tell you, they were much scarier back then. The Exorcist, anyone? So you get the drift. They will practically haunt you even after the movies.

Therefore now, horror movies are like uhm, nothing but cheap audio tactics, scare tactics and big boobs. Oh, and gore. Seriously those young women victims ain't wearing a bra. Plus the camera guys just had to zoom on those boobs. When I was watching Scream, I still remembered her boobs right smack at the middle of the screen and until now, I envisioned it. Shivers.

Some mainstream movies that in my opinion are simply good..

Okay sorry not much there, haha..coz for the life of me, I can't remember much. Nowadays, I much prefer indie movies as long as they're good and worth watching.

These movies also taught me much about love and life. 

Yesterday I watched a movie which actually starred a few big names who were relatively unknown back then (Oh the movies they acted in to get a name) and I think that they would probably squirm if these movie names were mentioned to them. One of the few lines were such gems. 

I think it was something in the line of you waited for me but you didn't wait long enough for me to know how much I loved you. I have loved you and still loves you and even if it takes me a long time, I will wait for you.

And they got back together! All together now...awwwwww!!!

One of my favourite Indie movies is..Shelter.

It has gay content but not much so if you are squirmish about such things (read: homophobic..shame on you) then I know for sure you won't check this movie out. But if you are up for it, you can find movie parts in you tube if you can search for them. It is one of those soul searching movies where the lead was caught up between chasing his dream of entering this art school which he actually gave up the scholarship just so that he can take care of his family and especially his nephew because of his couldn't-care-less sister. But he met Shawn, the brother of his best friend who had returned after suffering a writer's block and the two of them bond over surfing. But he was very encouraging and relentlessly made him chase his dream even making them fall out for awhile and I shall not spoil it for you.

I basically watch anything as long as they're good. Sometimes half way through they bore me so I switched off. Another Indie movie which I think was so so sad at one point towards the ending that I practically bawled was this movie called The Trip. 

Oh back to the movies I watched when I was sick. One of the movies was pretty sad too regarding the AIDs epidemic where back then AIDs was relatively unheard of and the disease was associated with cancer due to similar symptoms. People scoffed it off thinking that it will not happen to them and that they were not willing to give up their lifestyle of free sex, booze and drugs just because of this so called life threatening disease the media made it out to be because they thought it won't happen to them.

Unfortunately, that small circle of friends just got smaller and smaller due to that same disease.

It was sad yet touching at the same time how AIDs can ravage someone so badly that the best way to be rid of this disease is not to eat the plethora of medicine but to basically 'let go' which means not holding on to life and succumbing to death. Sad, extremely sad. But up till now, AIDs has no cure but what the doctors and researchers have come up with are better drugs to help those living with AIDs or are HIV positive to live longer but ultimately, it still depends on one's immune system.

Oh, and at one point of time too, I also LOVE watching comic book heroes turn into movie screen. Now, they're doing this whole superhero thing again but they're just not good enough. Why won't Hollywood learn. Perhaps one comic book hero to look out for in future is The Dark Knight Rises which also has Joseph Gordon-Levitt (fantastic actor!) as one of the actors. Surely to look out for. 

Currently I am downloading a movie and it's a pretty fun movie yet romantic at the same time on how one thinks that one has reached the age where he isn't attractive anymore. But he's charming except all he really wants is for someone to love him for who he is. 

Don't we all want a happy ending in our love story. Big Sigh.

So that's me..the non movie buff..but more like anything to watch as long as it kills time, haha. And I still can't believe Justin Timberlake is an...action hero?! Oh what in the world. I'll stick to my own brand of movies :)

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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Still Holding On

Well, my life is STILL in limbo but I guess I can't ignore my blog for long.

For once, I believed there was hope but then I seemed to lose hope. Now I just don't know..whether I should just continue to pray and hope for the best and..die from disappointment.

What can I do? What happens when you pray and pray for the best but nothing seems to materialize? Like it makes you believe that basically it's just wishful thinking on your part that things will get better...but basically it just won't.

Have you felt that way before? I remembered the last time when I prayed so hard constantly for my father to get better and out of his comatose? It took him awhile to get out of it and it completely broke my heart to see him hooked up to so many machines and I just wanted one thing: for him to get better.

He did get out of it and I was so thankful but soon afterwards, he was in and out of comatose but my friend encouraged me not to give up praying for him to get better. Eventually, it came to a point that letting go was the best thing to do for him. With such a heavy heart, I consented for the doctors to take him off the life support system.

I know many people don't believe in God. Even if you don't believe in Him, do believe that in life, some things happen for a reason. Of course just like any regular human beings, we just want the best in our life. But we can only plan and do things within our best capabilities but somehow, the odds are stacked against us. 

Life isn't easy, believe me it isn't. I've read stuffs on the internet and how people go through even worse times than me. Basically, when we are at our down low, love and support will carry us forward. 

While I am still hoping for that one flicker of hope to happen, I will continue to pray for good things to come. I know that I will ultimately be disappointed if that one hope falls and breaks apart, I will still not lose hope in life but carry on and see where life will take me.

This isn't the end. This is merely the beginning.

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Long Weekend, A Little Rambling & My Lack of Gratitude

The day I discover IG filters It's almost mid week to August..argh. I am in the midst of a long weekend, which sadly will come to ...