Saturday, September 27, 2008

Spur of the Moment

You know one of the things I find most annoying is people throwing me questions after questions which make me rethink again and that annoys me coz I mean, being human, you tend to make spur of the moment decision or a split second decision that may not have a strong basis to it. For example, okay you thought of going to Long John Silver to grab a bite and then decided, hrm..you have KFC instead then. But going out with this one friend of mine can be quite frustrating coz she likes to backtrack my previous decision with question after question like 'I thought you want to go Long John?'....'You sure u dont want to go Long John?'....'I give you a choice. You want to go Long John or you want to go KFC?'....'You want to go in and take a look at both first and then we decide what you want'....Sigh, just because at some point in time earlier, I wanted to go Long John doesnt mean I just HAD to go there. People change decisions so just get on with the plan ah. It's not like Im making some life making decision or something.

I mean seriously, I am not someone whom I describe must strictly follow what I do. If I dont mind it, I'll say 'ok' or 'anything' but if I seriously dont want it, I will also say. Why cant some people just get on with the programme?!

I know she has an analytical mind that get on my nerves at times especially when everything I say or do have to be followed by concrete logic and reasoning and also with the notion that one is always right. Like when I say I prefer taking a bus back home from say, City Hall, because it's just one straight route home rather than taking the train, it's just a personal preference. And she was like..why not you take the train....and I said I have to drop at another station, cross over and then take another train followed by a bus upon getting down from the train. So she gave me another option which was to walk all the way to Clarke Quay and take the train so I dont need to change train because from Clarke Quay mrt, it goes all the way straight without having to change. I said I still have to take bus later and then before that, walk?! I know Im used to walking but it's already quite late and by the time I walk, I wont be able to reach home by my intended time. You know, sometimes you dont need super thorough reasonings for everything that you think, say or do.

So that was followed by a flurry of questions and 'I dont understand' moments with her which she tends to do. Seriously, I know I am not the world's most decisive person and I do make mistakes too like overcalculating the estimated distance. Once, I thought of getting down at the bus interchange and then cross over and take a bus to Kovan but another person (not her) said like hey, why not you get down before that since it's nearer to the MRT and faster to reach? So Im like..'yah, why didnt I think of that?'...and she said well, it's better coz it saves time.

Im fine with that as at times, it can be an oversight. So just take a chill pill and not make ur brain work so much over simple decisions as people say things in the spur of the moment and then decide quickly against it for something else, at times without any brainbending reasoning. And oh, if you want to go somewhere specific, then say so lah and not beat around the bush by people giving options and then decide against them because it's not to your liking. Seriously, how long do you know me that hey, you think that whatever I say is law so I have to be some sort of ultimate decision maker. I dont have to agree with her and neither does she have to agree with me but Im sure eventually we can come with a consensus. So just speak your mind ah.

Sigh.....there are some things that I dont understand in life and this is one of them.

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Ugly Rahayu

This.Is.Exciting. Ugly Betty is returning to the googlebox tonight! Uhm, that is if you live in the United States. So wait a bit longer for it to show in Singapore but we're all interconnected through the internet and it doesnt hurt to snoop around and watch the latest episode...or rather webisode.

And Betty is going to have a new love interest! Yes, Henry is no more. I just think Betty deserves a guy who is not a nerd (but seriously, have you seen him sans clothes and in his undies only? fooh..hot!). Well, I thought she will be better with Gio who likes her but apparently, he takes great pleasure in making fun of her which got her annoyed. But the look of longing that he had for her is just too much for my heart to bear. I seriously prefer him to Henry as Henry was starting to get on my nerves for his timid appearance. Okay, so I think Gio is just better looking and has great biceps.

So in this third season, Gio wont be around? Sigh......I will miss him more than Henry then. Aiyah, you know what? This is just like the intervals in between scenes before the actual grand finale. In other words, I so want Betty to end up with Daniel, her boss and friend. It used to be just Betty who is always there for Daniel and knows his quirks and needs. But season 2 shows that Daniel does pay more attention to Betty like one time he quipped on why Betty was wearing her lucky red sweater or something like that coz it was not Taco Tuesday. These two can practically read each other's mind off also.

Can I have my very own Daniel? If he ends up as a friend, I dont really care also. I just want a decent guy friend! Is it too much for me to ask for one? I dont care if he's married, single or gay. I just want a male perspective in a normal conversation. No offence to my female friends though...heh.

Talking about guys. Chuck looked a bit different just now when he was about to go leave the office. He changed his usual boring polo shirt into a fitting t shirt and he was also without specs. When he came back from the toilet and to his table just as I was standing opposite about to close the door, I was a bit taken aback by his look and was like..grinning like a fool...and saying..'you look different!' Gawd, I feel like slapping myself silly just now. He said thank you though.

What to do, Rahayu has a weakness when it comes to guys wearing fitting shirts where the biceps tend to peek out a bit. Eh, provided they are not flabby.

I am woman. Hear me roar. Apparently a woman without guy friends. Where are you, Daniel?!!!

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hello Panda on Banned List

I am very sure all of you Singaporeans read about the contamination of china made milk products. And whenever I used to pass by the rows of milk cartons, imported from China, Im like....'heh..sure or not, safe to drink?' Then lo and behold, the products were recalled recently because they contained some toxic product called melamine. Even though low levels of toxic will not cause that much of a serious health hazard to us (unless u consume 24 white rabbit sweets every day..which I dont understand why you would), we Singaporeans always try to play it safe. So down the incinerator these milk products go in batches.

Of course the ones who are of huge concern are the babies especially in China where over 3000 of them are sick. Those poor babies. It's either an oversight of the manufacturers to accidentally dose the lethal chemical substance or they're plain stupid by adding an 'extra' ingredient to save cost or whatever stupid reason they can think of.

I mean seriously, this is not the first time China has caused a worldwide scare. If you read emails on China made products, like the fact they used bleach to make the bird nests white and clean looking *shock* *horror*...you can faint and swear off food products by them. Manufacturers or suppliers who are willing to resort to dirty tricks and risk people's health to make more $$$, should be burned on stake.

Excuse me  while I sob in one corner coz somebody sent an email and Hello Panda biscuits are on the list..Godammit.

'R.Popz Inc'


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Early Pay?!

I received an sms yesterday night saying that my bank account will be credited with October's pay on Sept 26. Im like 'huh?!' so fast? Then I was thinking, oh...must be because of Hari Raya which is on October 1st. When I was working in a semi government board the last time, that was what they did to. They would give next month's pay earlier, say...a week earlier...to so called help us with our expenses. Yay for me but uhm, knowing how 'torturous' it was last year because I had to put up with one more extra week before the following next month's pay...the agonizing pain (and the loss of some precious items *sobs*)...Im like, I can only keep the money for later use only.

Oh, plus I got additional support also in the form of some allowance from the government as part of the GST package which is basically some help to cope with the increase in GST tax. I know people lament that it's not much and it's a sign that the price of things are gonna increase further. But hey, in times of financial need, Im happy with any form of monetary help. I know I am one of those Singaporeans complaining about the hike in prices in recent times. Remember, I grocery shop..hello? NOwadays, I am willing to walk the distance to and fro just to go to the NTUC fairprice which sells everyday groceries at a rebate price. I used to be a cold storage person until the recent price hike forced me to make wiser decisions. I only go there occasionally to get an item or two which cannot be found at NTUC. But God bless, my mother has softened a bit in a way she is not that particular about brands anymore. Well, at least a little bit which makes me able to cut costs where I can.




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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Boo to Emmys

I cant ramble much these days coz Im pretty tired due to the exhaustion of fasting the entire day. Right....no, Im just downright caught up with giving my brother some revision and mouthing to him to study, study and study. If you have a teenager for a brother, who defies every word that comes out of your mouth, well, it can be as tiring as toiling the whole day at work. Eh, as if I do toil coz I dont get to do much work coz my other colleagues including my boss have been busy preparing for the coming audit next month. The only contribution I do is to maintain the relief appointment letters by making sure they get signed and countersigned and also to update the whole 9 files of invoices in the database.

Other than that, my life has been pretty much quite okay except with my mum's ramblings and her bitterness in regards to my late grandfather's payout when he passed away years ago. She would not let bygones be bygones and I dont think there is any end to it. If my aunt has kept her promises to pay back my father the money they used out of my late grandfather's bank account, at least my mum will not be so bitter. I mean whats the point of making a promise again and again if you dont fulfill it and you leave people wondering about it. They're not exactly poor, unlike my family, that they struggle to pay. My mum was like, even if she gives $50 per month, she is still alright but nope, nothing of that manner.

So yes, my mum continues to always make a big fuss over my father calling him 'useless' and so on and so forth and she feels like she has the right to mock him because he's the one causing problems to the family for not performing his duty as the head of the family. It's seriously annoying coz I dunno, her bitterness can get out of hands coz she always have reason to mock us as well because we're his offspring.

On a more lighter side, you know my birthday is just over and to me, it's a beginning of a new year of trying to find myself. I still toy with the idea of wanting to find a hobby and actually spend time on it and heck, who knows, even make money out of it. I still think that I can somehow find the time to learn to do graphic designing coz I just like the co-ordination of different elements put together in a nice montage as well as photo retouching coz I just like to make a picture look a whole lot better. Trust me, my picture wont be nice if not for the retouching. Yes, my face is that bad. Speaking of which, have you seen Angelina Jolie without photo touch ups? *shivers*

By the way, Monday morning yesterday was the telecast of the Emmys and I can tell you one thing, I am so freaking disappointed because Pushing Daisies and Ugly Betty didnt take home any awards. Well, hot fave Tina Fey won anyway. Infact 30 Rock won including outstanding comedy. Who cares about delusional office people. Boo!!

I think Pushing Daisies did win an award if Im not wrong but dang, Bryan Fuller should have taken home an award! He recently gave an interview and he was so sweet. He's like the kind of guy whom you can listen to all day dishing out words that describe the finer side of life in a fun and lighthearted manner. Basically, if you watch Pushing Daisies, you get an idea how he's like. You know life can deal you some serious issues but it doesnt mean we should be so grouchy and be so negative about it. There's always something good that comes out of everything that is bad.

Like sometimes I dont get it why people can be so negative sometimes. I dont know if it is my 'simpleton' mind where I dont have the ability to scrutinize things through and through or be so judgmental about it. Yes I have my fair share of sometimes refusing to see another side of things because all my life, I have so called programmed myself to think like that such as having the notion that all my father's relatives are evil..heh. Because when you were a kid, people thought that kids lack the ability to hold feelings for long but unfortunately, they are not aware that during these formative years, some feelings get embed into the mindset and will not go away. Instead they will stay as bad memories.

For example, I may forget what I wore yesterday (no, seriously) but I dont forget what happened to me more than ten years ago when I was still a child.

But as I grow up, or rather, stumble through life with cuts and bruises (call me little miss clumsy) and go on emotional roller coasters, I welcome every thing that puts a warm smile to my face. How often do you get nice things thrown your way? Especially if you live in a country called Singapore, where the people love to complain and yet refuse to say a simple thank you or say excuse me instead of shovelling their way in. Gawd, sometimes I feeling like telling these people off when I got pushed one after another by merely standing or queueing up. Even if they cant say excuse me, cant they like hold their freaking big bag close to themselves instead of walking at very close proximity to others and bump into people with their stupid bloody bag. They can even snake their way in between when there's a huge space behind the queue for example. Only coz they're lazy to detour a bit which will only take them mere seconds to do that.

In typical true Singlish manner, I would say..

'Wah-lau eh! You NO MANNERS AH!'

Hence, the desperateness of marrying a nice ang moh to take me away to far away places. Oh, why not any of the handsome actors in the German soap drama Verbotene Liebe? I watched you guys faithfully for months so I can at least get some credit for that.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Happy 27th Bdae to ME!!!

What can I say except....


HAPPIE BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! And I get to eat chocolate cake even though it's very the cheapo NTUC brand cake. Still, Rahayu is happy. Well, I didnt have any celebration this year but it's ok, I treated my family with food bought from a certain food stall in Toa Payoh. Ban mian..yums! Although I still think that it would probably taste better if we eat on the spot. Oh well.

And to all those who wished me Happy Birthday, the very few lot of you, I appreciated it all very much :D including one from Moody who surprisingly knew that today is my birthday.

Thank you for taking that one minute or so of your time to let me know that I am being remembered. Here's wishing myself that life will be more bearable to cope with great support from both family and friends. Okay, truth be told, for the last three years my wish was to lose weight by the time I reach my next birthday even though it has always been a desperate case of losing back the few kilos that I have gained within the year..heh...Somehow, I've always managed to pull the stunt miraculously.

Ok ok...remind me to make more meaningful wish like..er...get a date or something? hahahah...like that is going to happen anytime soon and anyway, it's not within my budget to go out and enjoy.


But Im not sorrowful. Things may not always be nice and rosy. What is important is to have faith in ourselves that we can pull through hard times with God's help.

So...


three cheers for Rahayu!! Happy Birthday to me!!





Monday, September 15, 2008

Men Candy

My mum is on her rambling spree again....my brother is protesting against my good intentions (a.k.a asking him to study and do his homework)...I am in no serious mood to blog.

Infact, I shall post photos.

These are the latest photos of Luke Macfarlane as Scotty on Brothers and Sisters. He is just so...........adorable, I can bite a piece of him. I'll start with the ears.



















































































Okay, I know I can be gay friendly but there is one gay person whom I hate, and it's not coz of his sexual orientation, but rather his history of boyfriends.

Obviously, there is more to him that seem to attract the cream of the crop. Everytime he breaks up, that empty slot seems to not be vacant for long and every time it's filled up, Im like..'you've gotta be kidding me.'
























His latest boyfriend, well he's not as good looking as the ex, or ex-es I should say..pfft...but I would kill to have a guy with that body. Lance doesnt even have a rockin' body. I say this guy drinks the charm potion every time he breaks up.

Okay as much as I hate him, I do like his taste in men. Well at least we see something eye to eye then...haiz.

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Past Love

I dunno what is wrong with me but my fascination with a certain UK soap drama had kinda died down a bit...at the crucial point. Just when the ex boyfriend came back after a long time from nowhere after disappearing to Dublin just like that right smack in the middle of wedding plans that were going awry. Aaah...bliss. How much drama can it get? Apparently, it's possible! When the couple quarreled after one of them felt that the wedding was too rushed, followed with cheating by sleeping with the runaway boyfriend and then the next thing you know, the other half got poisoned upon finding out a dark secret of another character. Fuyoh.....and I didnt catch that all!!

Okay first and foremost, I knew that this was bound to happen through leaked spoilers and second, it was rather painful to see someone leave the show like that. Hey, he's a hunk so you know where Im heading with this. I somehow also knew that the writers had along wanted the original couple to be together but I never liked that guy because he toyed with two people's feelings and was totally selfish about it. As much as I appreciated his return to shake things up a bit and put a closure on the relationship, I just could not get used to his character. I am so so sorrie...but this guy was a total jerk and...and....he got the happy ending?!!! While the other guy who had been compassionate with other people and helping them through hard times, died coz..I dunno..he found a 'secret' that was so 'evil' he had to die for it?

What is wrong with you people?!!!

Ah well, I guess being a jerk might not be such a bad thing after all. Pfft...

I know what you're thinking. It's just soap drama and hence, the exaggeration. But it got me thinking that what if this happen in real life and you are being treated like some sort of filler for someone's void. And that all the promises that he gave you and all the love declarations became mere words only when the presence of an ex girlfriend shook things up a bit. Believe it or not, it happened before to an old friend of mine when she thought she found happiness with a guy who treated her so well and then he dumped her because he reconciled with his ex girlfriend. He even admitted that all the while that they were together, he could not stop thinkin about his ex after she dumped him.

But on the other hand, upon watching a short film two weekends ago, I learnt that some things could not work out because two people can be on two different paths and their expectations could differ which might explain why they dont see things eye to eye. But later in life, somehow the time spent away from each other will make them reflect on their past relationship and realised they need each other more than ever. So their paths converge with each other again and old feelings stir up again and they're back together.

However, though it may seem like a fairytale ending, hearts are bound to be broken especially if one of them or even both of them have met other people. The question becomes, will you sacrifice your current love for an old love who is begging you emotionally to tie loose ends together and make things work this time round? Are you willing to come clean with him or her and say that you cant carry on with the current relationship or are you willingto play the cat and mouse game by cheating and hoping he or she catch a drift?

But like I said, whichever path you chose, hearts are bound to be broken even though I still think that cheating is not advisable. I guess the guilt is twice as hard to swallow and it is also just plain stupid and clearly lack in judgment and maturity.

Still, whats your take onn a past love returning back to either haunt you or bring back the level of happiness that you used to experience?

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Learning Journey

You know what it sucks when you were fasting and they were serving you breakfast, lunch and some and cakes and pastries for teabreak. I didnt want to go to this Learning Journey thingey with the rest of my colleagues as well as people from other schools because I knew it would be during the fasting month. But NOooOOoo...they signed me up without asking me, well they did but I said no, and they still went ahead all coz I was a freakin' newbie..hrmph.

So I didnt quite enjoy the whole experience. Lunch I didnt mind not taking coz it looked pathetic..but YA KUN KAYA TOAST?! One of Rahayu's favourite food?! That pushed it too far. Although I did get a bottle of kaya from there as a souvenir. But it didnt taste as good as when served with their toasted bread. Once again, hrmph.

Anyway, I found out a few things from my colleague whom I hung out with throughout the learning journey. Like the fact that Chuck is engaged with someone from KL whom he sees once a month. Ooh, long distance relationship. But we were so evil we were like..hrm..maybe he got to know her through the internet? heh..Oh, and this teacher whom I used to call my 'boyfriend' only coz he is short and who looks a bit different than a typical Chinese (which Mariah called him as Mat Kotai) is a smoker. Actually I kinda figured that out. Coz there was once he passed by me and there was this strong smell of cigarette smoke. During school hours?! But, there were other teachers whom this colleague of mine said are also smokers because she hung out with them and they all would be smoking together.

Well, Im not too particular about them smoking despite being teachers and that my 'boyfriend' is also a level head. It's just that I dont expect teachers to be all angelic...haha. Talking about 'boyfriend', Im actually over and done with calling him that coz Im not interested in him anymore. Kinda old news..haha.

And you know what? I have officially passed 2 days of fasting despite the challenge which I described earlier during the learning journey. I didnt struggle so much although on the first day of fasting, I was tempted several times to quote that I was hungry until I remembered...'doh! Im fasting'. Then, this morning I didnt wake up all bright and shiny and feeling a bit sick yet I pulled through and developed a slight fever. After I broke fast, I practically collapsed on my sofa and slept through from 8.3o till about 1am.

Okay it did sound like I was being drama mama especially for someone who often makes noise when shes hungry, much to my mum's dismay..haha. And I did groan that the time for breaking fast for this month is mostly ten minutes after 7pm. I mean, they're just minus hics that I will eventually get passed and then before you know, im fasting without even knowing it. But Im still stumped as to how people can actually have a whole buffet during break fast which my mum later explained that sometimes, people buy food on impulse especially when they're hungry and when faced with an array of food at a bazaar, can go quite crazy. Of course it will be a wastage unless they can eat the leftovers during the meal before the break of dawn. But these kinda food often spoils easily because they are often cooked too quickly so it will be quite hard to salvage the leftover.

Anyway it's a waste of money buying food from the bazaar. Im already struggling with the money spent on buying groceries for the past two days. I kinda hate it when things in the house run out at almost the same time and if I dont get them, it will be weird coz they're essential household items. So the money that I anticipated stretching it until friday is gone..just like that. The fact that I would have saved at least 5 dollars, not inclusive of the 2 dollars that I managed to save by deciding not to buy that packet of $1 plus Chinese style noodles, kills me slightly harder especially today when I had no choice but to buy from Cold Storage whose grocery items cost slightly more. Yes Im very meticulous when it comes to money especially when I have a mum who think that I dont know how to take care of money because money seems to run out fast when in my hands. Like excuse me, who is the one ordering to buy this and that?

Then if I forgo buying some things to cut costs, she thinks Im stingy for being too budget conscious.

Sigh, at the very least, since I got most of the major items out of the way, I guess the next few days wont be so hard to budget. I am going to streeeeeetccch twenty dollars within *gasp* three days. This would be easy peasy if Im not the sole breadwinner or my mum is the type who is not very particular about the brand of items. Anyway there are some things you cant change but being me, I have to learn how to soften the effect. Sigh, the things I do for the family. Then again, from what I have said earlier, God is with me and He does help me every now and then in small but meaningful ways and I appreciate it.

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Monday, September 01, 2008

Reliving the Past

Today is the start of the fasting month and I can tell you one thing...Im not quite handling it well....*groans*. But I know that this is just a start and being someone who makes noise whenever she's hungry, it's so not going to be easy. Then again, I can just pull this through like I always do. And then being stuck behind this table of mine may seem like a good thing because I will not tire myself so easily like my previous job where I had to travel all around. It would be just like that time I was on attachment in a certain room in a polyclinic where lunch time would be spent sleeping. Heck, even when I was not fasting during another attachment last year in a faraway poly (one of the things why I was glad that the department closed down..pfftt), I would also sleep. Too bad I dont have the luxury of sleeping here and fasting is a pretty lonely affair since Im the only Malay among my office colleagues.
 
Anyhoo, I received an earlier birthday present from Mariah in a form of a cd rom. No that cd rom was not a present but rather, what was inside the cd rom although my brother thought that it was a nifty idea to have an advertiser on it. Well, I would say that it was really well done coz I dont have as much patience when it comes to making a self made movie. I gave her twenty shots of myself through the years and went scanner happy. At 1am in the morning.
 
But I was surprised that there were many unseen photos of myself that were mostly taken during our gatherings. I try to figure out a way to grab those photos and keep it for memory sake...hee. Who knows in the future, I may start my scrapbooking collection again? I dont work in the office for nothing..haha. That loosely translates that I can try to use the colour photo. I mean I dont need big photos...just have several on an A4 sized paper and it's good to go.
 
About these photos, I looked younger (duh...) and looking so adorable with my bob hairstyle and a hairclip attached. Still the more I looked at these photos, I kinda sensed something that was not right with them. I seemed to look detached like there was this hint of sadness despite grinning in some photos. I mean i know I suffered from inferiority complex but from the looks of it, it looked pretty bad. But hey, no matter how embarassing that hairstyle was, it was still part of me and I treasure every single photo that I had taken, happy or otherwise.
 
Thank u mutton for the lovely present. Sure it made me revisit the past but it is in those years, that I have got to know a friend  like who is for keeps no matter how dodgy I looked and no matter how weird you think I was...or still is. Anyway, my dungeon is always open for company :D  

'R.Popz Inc'


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Assertive Guy

Have I ever confided in you that life sucks at times? I mean...suck..as in big time? As in you plan for things and they just dont seem to according to plan? Okay fine...that happens to many of us...which may be a source of comfort though. Oh well, some things we can control...some things, we cant.

Anyway, me, my mum and my brother went to Hougang Point today coz I dunno...out of nowhere, my mum decided to go to the NTUC fairprice there to get some veggies and some stuffs to prepare for the fasting month which commences on 1st of September. Of course being on a freaking tight budget, I felt the pinch but knowing my mum, you cant actually go against her even though I seriously think it is not the right time to grocery shop with her. Plus, with my brother along? One word. Ouch.

So hey, now I just try to see how I can deal with the pinch for the next few days. *sobs* rahayu feels like crying :( Anyway, I dont want to dwell on it too much. I mean seriously, there is only so much that I can do. I have tried my best and knowing myself, I somehow will try to pull myself through this ordeal..like pulling a rabbit out of the hat miraculously....I just know I can and God help me with it.

Enough of my sobbing sad story..boohoo. Well, we have approached September which is...my birthday month :D Rahayu likes birthdays! Even a simple greeting makes my heart melt knowing someone remembers my birthday. I dont ask for much....and why does I have a brand new top from Mango lingering in my head? Tsk..silly me....it's not even December a.k.a bonus month yet.

Actually, Im all jittery about fasting even though I see it as an opportunity to cleanse our body of toxin and maybe....trying to lose a couple of weight that has been yo-yoing since like forever? Why not we all make a pact of losing at least 2kg this month, eh? Oh, and keep it off for good. It's also a way of saving our butt when at the beginning of the year, we resolve to lose weight but somehow, has not quite got around it yet. Just like the mantra on Project Runway, we have to 'make it work'.

You know we young women have a lot on our plate that we dont know where to begin. I mean....just look at me when I face a buffet table. Everything looks so fine. Okay seriously, we face problems left, right and centre but we always try to be on top of things AND look good doing it. Except me at times...I mean I am a sloppy girl through and through. So give ourselves a big round of applause for all the things that we have done for our friends, our family and ourselves. Life isnt easy but if you have good intentions for doing something, you will get rewarded.

Even though I have yet to experience being loved in a relationship with the opposite sex, I prefer things to take its time because I know how complicated love can be. My life is already complicated but I often say that hey, Im always open.

As for now, I dont have any guy in mind...in real life I mean, not in my internet woven other life. But, if you have been reading my entries, you may notice me talking about this guy at my workplace named 'Chuck'. Im starting to think that this guy makes a good friend. Heck, I would even think that he's boyfriend material but maybe not to me, because I suppose coz I cant see him beyond more than friend..I dunno why. My mind has been too broadened ever since signing up with an internet.

Why I think he makes a good 'boyfriend' to girls in general is because, like I told Mariah, he's not easily henpecked which is a good..and uhm...a bad thing. Good in the sense that it teaches girls not to be too pampered that they can get away with things by pouting and throwing mini tantrums. I know he's not like that coz when I asked...and ahem..even whimpered...'But it's too dirty!!! Im too lazy to clean!!! Cant I just get a new mouse?!!' it didnt work. Bad coz...uhm....of course we girls like to be pampered too, you know! Ever heard of a charm?

Oh and he noticed too that I like to drink milo which he tried to sneak into our conversation when I asked him why the heck he drank water from such a big bottle. He didnt say directly that I like milo but he was like...'you know with milo, your body can get heaty and the sugar inside the milo, can make you dehydrate faster so you can fall sick easily'. pfft. Speaking of being assertive, he was sweet enough to check out which table served halal food during a lunch gathering last Friday and then asked me to go quickly before the food ran out. So I went but the Malay teachers were like taking their time surveying that I was too shy to take.

And when he came back, I was still standing there and he was like...'What are you still doing here?!' and while remarking to another colleague that he already told me to go, he turned back to me and was like saying 'I told you to go right?! Go! Go! Go!' Geez. Then when I was done with my food, I wanted to go quickly and he still barked at me and said 'where are you going? There's still desserts! Go and take the desserts!!!' Double geez. Im starting to be afraid of this guy already.

Then, is it just me or did I hear wrongly. Chuck was like telling me that he was into his second bottle of water (very important info apparently) and was about to say some thing else until SOMEBODY had to cut in by saying 'Chuck!! Sorry yesterday I had to call you...I got no other choice!' Chuck was like it's okay...

No other choice...pfft...opportunist.

Okay I know you're probably going to shoot me for this but ah..................maybe the real reason why Im not that attracted to Chuck was coz he isnt very good looking? I have already warned you that I am shallow when it comes to guys. I am by no means, attractive either and with a hot body to boot. But hands up those of you who think that it wouldnt kill for the guy to be good looking. Yes looks isnt everything and from what I described him, Im sure you can safely conclude that he is a very nice guy and I dont deny that. It's just that I dont think I can hit it off well with him and Im just saying that maybe...........just maybe..........coz of his looks?

But hey, people tend to have a change of heart okay. Who knows? And being someone who is fickle minded, that is not a problem. I still think that he's a keeper for being such a nice guy. But just as a friend.

I smell rotten eggs from a distance already.

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Light to Night Festival 2019

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