Despite going through some financial difficulties this month, I dont think I can actually survive through this week at least without the kind help of my friends. It's really heartwrenching to me to know that they do not hesitate to help me even though money is involved because u know how people are when it comes to money issues but I would understand. While I lamented that God does not love me, I suppose it's just His way of telling me that He still remembers me even though He is giving me such a hard time right now.
Anyway, that aside, I was thinking for a bit about my non existent love life. No Im not going to drop another complain but like I was said, I was doing a bit of thinking. I dont know if it is a good thing or a bad thing for me not to have any guys interested in me. I suppose I have a lot of issues with myself that I have to deal with first before one fine day, a guy will have the guts to ask me out for a movie at least. I know no one is perfect but I think a lot of imperfections that I have about myself can be rectified but I think for now, there are other things that are preoccupying my mind that are worth more attention.
When it comes to my personality, I suppose Im only 'qualified' to be a guy's good friend..like the type who they confide in because they have this unspoken trust with me. It will be sorta weird, for me at least, for a guy to casually ask me out for a movie or dinner, but has some other girl in mind. But I suppose it should be a non issue unless I have a crush on the guy too and it will be rather awkward for me.
Rather than having to deal with such situations, I think my non existent love life is justified but Im a girl, I have needs too like wondering how it's like to be showered with attention from a guy who has an interest in me. But I guess I'll never know.
Still, being a girl, I dont believe in latching myself to guys in hoping that one of these fine gentlemen will sit up and take notice of me. I mean I dont believe in forcing a guy to love me or give me attention unless Im seriously desperate. Or delusional. To me, love has to come naturally and although at times, I may be a bit bewildered at how fast people hook up or even make marriage plans already despite barely knowing each other for a year, there aren't really any hard and fast rules about love.
Speaking of love, Im currently obssessed with one of the American daytime soap drama and despite a few hiccups with the supporting characters (I think even an idiot can read between the lines of what a person is implying when they're talking as a third party), it's one of those storylines that are well written. I may not be experiencing real life love right now but Im still flustered at the impending romance that will come to light soon next month. Aah..the bliss of being in love. Well, at least for an onscreen couple.