Love Actually

hello,

lifes dreary as usual at the office. but it's okay. I am actually almost done with my 'time management' presentation which I have kept to a minimum before I bore anyone, and erm..more importantly..myself..hehe. Yes, I do get bored by my own antics.

Anyway, yet another quick update since Im at work and Im only blogging using my email account because I like the smoothness of the keyboard besides making me look like Im busy. Im actually rather tired because I rewatched Love Actually. Hrm, why this sudden romantic mood despite my self declare that Im SO not a romantic girl. Honestly, Im not one who is so darn romantic but im not totaly 'off' the idea. It's just that I like romance in its most unusual ways. Okay, I don't mean some guy and a dirty old rug but romance between two people in the most unexpected situations.

But through the movie too, I learn that love doesn't necessarily equate to romance. It can also mean love between friends, love between a mother and child and in this hilarious movie, love between a comeback singer and his pudgy manager of which the latter was always there for him despite the singer's comical moments and er...his very outlandish attitude. In the end, he ditched Elton John afte winning the number one spot to spend Christmas with him drinking and watching porn for being there for him. Now of all the lurvin' in the movie, I cried over this and the other one where a newly married man's best friend had actually fallen in love with his bride and his video shots were beautiful, which by the way, only had shots of her enjoying her wedded bliss. With no spoken words but just cue cards with the audio cd playing in the background, I cried for his lost love which he felt was best kept in his heart in order not to cause any rifts between the newly wedded couple. And oh yah, in another scenario, a more than two years crush was finally answered at the art exhibition party which was totally unexpected too because they never shared conversations before except late nights in the office. Plus, he was such a darn mighty FINE hottie and to actually fall in love with an ordinary looking worker in the office who had the hots for him..dang! Gorgeous!

Unfortunately, as beautiful as love can be, it is not just one dimensional. You have to be prepared to get hurt and to sacrifice but fear not. It may be our ultimate dream to find that one true love who will be there for us in sickness and in health, and in whatever dodgy clothes we put on and going out together sans makeup (the horror!), but it is the journey that counts most. If we have to put our love life on hold as much as we hate to do that if the love is blossoming, for the sake of our family who needs us to be there for them in times of crucial needs, it is not a big loss. So if one day we have a silly grin on our face and our mind is constantly far away thinking if he or she has taken his breakfast or taken the much needed toilet break, be also prepared to put on a frown or cry buckets of tears.

I, for once, may let people to cry foul because now it may seem Im promoting love among all, but am a sceptic myself. I don't hate love nor do I anticipate love to come into my life at any point of time. It's just that Im not ready for the love of the romancing kind but Im always ready for love of any kind like the love to my friends, families, my favourite things, my favourite TV programmes and etc. No matter how sceptical I can be, my heart is still open and yes, I do enjoy moments when I envisioned the guy is secretly admiring me from behind (no, not my BEHIND..I meant, secretly). Or when I look away, the guy will try to take stolen glances like this longing to wanna get to know me and I'll be like the woman in the movie who jumped up and down secretly in some corner after that fleeting moment of attention..heh..

Sometimes, I don't know if it happens for sure or it's just a matter of glance but it does made my heart pondering on the 'did he? or did he not?' Just like this guy at my workplace, whom I found out from the intranet portal, is a runner and a member of the runner's club. Thus, the tall and dark physique. But recently, I don't know if his barber did this botched job of a haircut but his haircut is almost to the point of 'botakness' or 'baldness'. But rahayu doesnt care (aha! sign of true love there, or is it?). Maybe he caught the vibe that I have this slightest interest in him that once, as I was walking down the hallway to the toilet and he was keying his code to the door of his department, I looked at him and I think it might have showed on my facial expression..darn it. I think I saw him making some double-takes at me and keying his code rather slowly compared to some other times. As I was looking down to hide my embarassing look of 'I saw him!', I think he made another look maybe thinking that I would not notice.

Knowing my streak for having wild imaginations, this could be just one of those scenes in my head but in actual fact, him doing the double take was probably him thinking that he saw his colleague. Hey, you'll never know. Just like I'll never know if he does have the same admiration for me as I do to him. At the very least, he should thank me for making an exception to him because he obviously failed the very first physical criteria which is his tall height. Then, he should make an exception for me for being pudgy and a running hater..hehe..

Oh well, love is either blind or cupid is blind.