Showing posts from October, 2007

Tech Tuesday - Broadband Pt 1

Yes, I know I have been distracted a lot lately and I kinda move in a daze within my life. But I suppose..I can try to make a change a bit and which I can assure you I have been making those changes to so called improve the quality of my life a bit., I want to write my long overdue Tech Tuesday article. Plus, the fact that Mariah is so looking forward to this article, which is a first coz these articles are quite yawn inducing for her..hehe.., I guess Im giving some justice to this article.

Broadband Connection. I know Im quite into I.T. but these true geeks sometimes write lengthy articles coz you know they're all passionate about it so it can get pretty darn boring halfway down. But, so far, these are what I picked up about broadband. Okay broadband is a better version of dial up when it comes to connecting to the internet due to its faster network connection. Broadband basically means data communications which are transmitted via the fibre optics of cables that cover a hi…


Yesterday, me and a few more individuals had to go back office instead of doing outfield work because we had to finish up and hand in the appraisal. That is like an annual report that every staff has to do that tells the management what you have been up to the whole year and whether you're deserving of the quarterly bonus. Okay the whole point is just to get that bloody bonus in March.

Before the appraisal is handed in for the management above to look at and grade you accordingly, you will be appraised by your own supervisor because he or she is the one who has been looking at your conduct to see if you're deserving of a certain grade or not.

We were all busy doing the appraisal yesterday and completing it because nobody has it completely 100% done yet. There are new information to be added, things to calculate, things to print and reprint and reprint (I cursed the printer for being few computers away coz it made me walk a lot of times). Everyone was fixated at their own pc.

But …

Plan C and Life's Empowerment

I have kicked plan c into action a day earlier than I had planned and it did get me upset a bit but I have pretty much prepared for it. I would say that I have got no other choice. Okay, maybe it is not the only choice but heck, for now it had been the best one.

I would not want to say what plan c is all about even if nobody reads this entry. It's not because Im being all secretive about it but just that I dont wish to talk about it. But I do want to write that this has been a tough period for me and I have been trying to so called cheer myself up a bit by reading magazine articles or online articles about other people's hardship period whether it has passed or not. I want to come out strong just like them and that life will get better soon.

In my other blog, I sounded a bit more depressive than now and that was before I kicked plan c into action (or plan D..I dunno..I dont keep track of things anymore). Maybe I was at my most vulnerable moment where I just refused to believe t…

Pursuit of Happiness


why? Coz a small part of my crankiness and moment of boredom has whittled away slowly after the return of some sweet moments. Yes the dramadee of soap opera is back! So it gave me this feel good factor in me yet again. Then, tomorrow's LONG OVERDUE gym workout will hopefully bring in some trigger happy moment in me yet again too. For quite a long while now, I have been drawn to the library which will give me at least 30 min of worry-free moment. Whatever it takes to make me forget about my dark period in life right now, I try to embrace it so long as it does not endanger my life or push me way down the bottomless pit further.

I have currently picked up a book which I have read halfway and then it makes me start to repiece my life back a bit like one big jigsaw puzzle. For now, it will be a long while before it is complete but while that will have to wait, I am just counting on piecing it together again and making sure that it does not get out of place again. I admit that…


I am officially spooked. I was listening to muttons late last night..or should I say thursday morning until about 1 plus. HOw was I listening to it? I was on my mattress and then listening to the mutton with an earphone plugged to one side.

Then I fell sleep close to like 2 plus only to wake like awhile later after the show and you know why happened?

Coz as I just woke opening my eyes..and then the radio suddenly went off..and I thought I accidentally unplugged and tried to find my phone. Suddenly there was this long distance kind of know...when you're trying to talk to someone quite far away. Then within that background, I heard this man voice sounding quite far talking in a strange language. I was was a phrase..followed by another me it sounded like a cantonese or whatever language. Then I tried to find my phone again and then it dawned me.

I was officially spooked. Just as I found back my phone, the 987fm came back on again pl…

Fun Trivia

Okay! Let's put my miserable life aside first and write some fun trivia!!

Things You Probably Don't Know About Me..(and probably dont want to either..haha..)
I crave fishballs almost every single day and awaiting the day I can sink my teeth into them. The fishballs from old chang kee slathered with chilli sauce..and eaten WITHOUT the annoying stick...I also crave for calbee hot and spicy potato chips and Im aiming for the big pack..the one that has 1000 over calories..yup, that's the one.I like looking at the heels women wear especially those long thin stilettos type but nope, not contemplating on wearing them. Just...pretty to look at.My guiltless snacks include sushi and chocolate soya pancake..and plain waffle but I still try to keep at minimum like once a fornight.Im a soya bean freak for the longest time. I can envision myself surviving on tofu if I ever become a vegetarian.I dont have a dress and the last time I wore one, was when I was a kid. I have this mindset that …

Sheer Desperation

I did something just now which I was not proud of but it was done out of sheer desperation. I had no other choice and my plan A was not exactly working and it frustrated the hell out of me. This is not a good month and I have said it before that I sorta anticipated this to happen but I am not aware of how bad it can be. Im still holding on to faith...that this tough period will be over but how soon? I am just not sure of it and I am too scared to think about it too.

I am serious when I said that I hate plan B although so far the worst is so called over and would you believe I have a plan C?!! How bad do you think my situation is?!

Sorry if Im talking in some sort of secret code or something. I am sparing you the details and let you in on a generalistic view on how miserable my life is now. Sometimes I feel like blaming my dad for not working and putting me in this miserable situation. At least the last time I am penniless, it is only for myself and not my family as he supports my mum an…

CSI Miami Intro

I just love the intro over the years esp e kick ass music. It doesnt change much except for the last few cast members. Rex Linn aka Det Frank Trip and new csi Eva LaRue aka Natalia Boa Vista have been added to the opening credits.

Death By Nut

After watching desperate housewives, I know why they're desperate! GEEZ!! But it's a really cute scene..

Meet The New Gaybors!

I've been watching desperate housewives a bit on youtube and susan is absolutely funny! Wisteria lane has new neighbours!

Raya Pics!

Sorry no family pics..but heck this will do aight?!

Me at Mariah's open house together with Nats last Saturday.

Apologize - OneRepublic

for like a fleeting moment, I am like 'who the heck is isaac slade from the fray?!!!'

this guy is way cuter but of course, isaac...your vocals is unbeatable.

but still..

rahayu says 'hi!' to that singer..whoever u are!!




My family is getting more and more dysfunctional and my mum is just hating my father more and more each day too. And I can get stressed out a bit with her complaining about my father and how financially inadequate I can be which worries me every single day. I still hold on to the belief that as long as I do things right and find means to make ends meet, then I believe I can support my family still in ways that I can even if I have to make sacrifices every now and then. I also believe God is with me every step that I take even if it is just a small blessing but I feel blessed nevertheless.

However, the best thing to do right just to relax every time I accomplish something that I have not done before but for the sake of the family, I am willing to just grin and bear with it. Im not gonna list in details what I have done but let's just say, the sacrifice is a bit worth it coz I dont owe anybody even though that is the quickest solution. It's the quickest but not necessar…

Taste of Freedom

Oh wow.....I just enjoyed true soap opera moments...the formation of a new relationship and the ending of a long term relationship...but all totally related. Theres a good balance of emotions but of course, I tend to lean on more towards the more awwww...struck moments that makes my heart melt..sighzzzzzz.................

Can you just imagine going through roller coaster moments where you are almost losing the will to live after being struck with a medical condition with the possibility that you will never recover and then someone gives you a ray of hope to at least try? WOw....

YOu know when I see good looking guys..uhm..ang moh or caucasian guys in general..the sort that make your heart a-flutter (at least mine does)...and then with that hope of hooking up with one dashed the next instance. Now why is that so? Ok Im not gonna preach about my lack of financial ability that does not allow me to sustain a out a lot of money...but rather, what is it …

God's Angels

Oh gawd....I need my dose of soap opera! Where's the drama? Where's the love? Where's the hatred..the jealousy...?!!!!!!

Man, Im being c-c-crazy and based on the spoilers and the users's comments...tomorrow's episode may just be a good one. It'd better be coz Im becoming c-c-crazy already from the lack of drama lurrvee over the weekend!!!!!!!

Okay okay..let me regain my sanity...or whatever is left of it.

Well, anyway it's a good distraction from my own personal financial turmoil right now which I hope..and I really really hope.....will be solved before end of this week, by I transport claims refund or something. Rahayu desperate for money!!

NOw, Im just hanging on to my dear life and not try to think so much and uhm, thats why i need my soap opera. I dont care if they're paralysed, getting a divorce, embroiled in a scandal, just anything..anything to get the storyline going.

Besides trying to distract myself from my own life's drama, I am …

As Promised

Yup, as new blog..

Just click on the above picture and it will bring you to it.

But warning, this is like a completely 'clean' and 'non offensive' version of my current main blog. However, it fairly is going to be about the same damn life..haha..

So read it at your own risk...or rather your own boredom..heh...

New Blog


so latest update of my life? apart from the usual cash strapped moments...i have started a new blog. Yup, how many more blogs do I need..actually just one more and total, I will have two. Now why this obssession with blogs like many lives do I lead...well, actually I kinda like another idea of having another blog which will be a perfect distraction from the current one. So if people ask..hey, do you blog? I say yah and most prob give the add for the other one. This will always be my main blog coz I practically have a bit more freedom with this. Multiply...hrm..I dont really like it but heck, maybe just good enough to post photos and thats it. ANd oh, download songs too..hee...Anyway, about my new blog, I will update it as to how I update the current existing one but I have to practise quite a bit of self censorship in that one coz more or less, it will be the more 'public' one. if this blog is private. But it helps that many of my close peers dont …

Happy Hari Raya

happy hari raya to all the muslims celebrating this festive occasion irregardless of whether you're in the mood or you're too overjoyed. it signifies the end of the month long fasting period but of course, a gentle reminder is to watch..ur waistline. After all, we're talking about one month of controlled dieting and then boom...hari raya comes and there is an array of food begging us to gorge on. Well, go crazy with all the cookies (im talking about myself here..unfortunately) and eat those delicious hari raya dishes because I doubt you want to offend those who took the time and effort to cook (uhm..especialy if that someone is your own mum). But later, practise self control the next day onwards..hehe..

oh ive said it's not a good month for me. Hopefully things will get i've always hoped. I know GOd is also there helping me tide over my difficult ways that He can no matter how small those gestures are...I reallie appreciate it. It&…

Henry Davis

thats van hansis!! my selenge friend..haha..He's acting out as henry davis..he looks cute as a spastic!!

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

a great dance routine using treadmills! gym workouts will never be so borinG!!!! haha..

Kurung Preview

Image on a soap break now...coz the show only airs on thursday, friday and saturday...but im like often checking in to see if there are any new updates. plus, currently im having a bit of a sore knee so i have problems sitting at the computer table. Im currently sprawled on my mattress with the keyboard on my knees....typing away. But anyhoo.....I got some photos...which I took earlier on. Thats my step cousin who is studying in nursery and shes often excited to see and my mum and brother are often her playmates...bwahahaha....which she has no qualms dragging them here and there while the mum talk endless about dunno what business opportunities. Id rather tell her to get a proper job then talk about dabbling business coz you got a small growing child to feed there.

Anyway, there is also a preview of my baju kurung...for hari raya. Actually this is not the actual one..which unfortunately is a kebaya. Dont get me wrong...kebayas are nice...but from past experience, me and kebaya..we …

Reel vs Real

wah man....the more I have to spend for my family's celebration of hari raya, the more I dont feel like celebrating..this is serious business man. I'd rather use the money for daily expenses rather than to have good food to eat that day or munch cookies throughout the month long of celebration. Call me a sour puss but Im just not in the mood to celebrate coz Im more concerned about putting food on the table more than anything else for the week after. BUt, I learn from a recent certain tv drama (no not the usual soap opera...more on that later), that if we have good intentions and if we work for it, God will help us in ways that He can but we have to help ourselves first and change our fate. Doesnt mean we have lesser means than others we cannot improve ourselves.

Like my current partner for this month, she has a sadder fate than me because her husband passes away earlier this year leaving behind four schooling children with in primary school, one in secondary school a…

Featured Guy no 5

Yup, im in my feature guy mode and we're heading a slightly different direction...

YOu know I've been dabbling in this social networking website though Im starting to regret big time in this coz a lot of mats, I should have stuck to friendster.

HOWEVER!!!! As ironic as this is, maybe it is not so bad coz I found a featured guy through this website when me and my colleague were browsing during office hours..uhm..dont ask.


Roy Ryan

I dont know wat his actual nationality is even though he claimed to be from Singapore...but if he is on the same sunny island as mine, I welcome him with open arms!!

My colleague added him but I was the one who ws excited when he accepted...fuyoh!

I remembered seeing this sort of guy in a library in orchard road and me and mariah were totally smitten!! Unfortunately, he noticed our goofy grins. Gawd, it was so pre pubescent of us..but hell, arent we all goof like infront of cute guys like that?!

Featured Guy no 4

Hello! here comes...featured guy no 4!

TOTALLy out of my usual cream crop of guys...being a malay...but heck, I think he still deserve a spot coz rahayu is being in a semi hari raya spirit..haha...


Fahrin Ahmad!!!!!

Currently the IT guy in Malaysia though he's now being gossiped as the other half of Linda Onn (no idea who the heck is she) but which he flatly denied saying they were just friends.

Why he was chosen? Like I's the hari raya spirit! Plus, he was being such a sweetie in this teledrama called Seputih Qaseh Ramadhan..about a dying woman whose wish was to be reunited with her three children after being released from jail. He was her pillar of support as she faced ill luck one after another with a mother in law from hell and a husband who was obviously blind as to what a gross looking new wife he has after she went to prison...on his behalf! Wtf..but then again, it's just drama! See in my soap opera spirit.

In real life, he has a degree in …

SO the drama!

I totally realised now why I cant get acquainted with watching long running dramas that has a continuing storyline except dramas like csi miami and ghost whisperer. I..just..cant..stand the..intensity of the drama! Yes I know they are not called dramas for nothing but seriously, cant things just be all fine and dandy instead of having good things come to a screeching halt with..I impending murder....a serious injury.....and and and..REVENGE?!!!! Bloody hell.....Just as a couple get acquainted with each other after a long time of denial and obstacles to overcome, and then we think...awww..thats one new happy blissful of them just had to get injured! And it's not some kind of simple curable just hAD to be a likely paralysis of the legs........stoopid..stoopid..stoopid!!! Now he has to be in stoopid writers!!! HE's TOO CUTE FOR THAT! why cant it be a fat ugly bloke instead?!!


i seriously must overcome this and t…

Unfortunate Relations

While others are spending dollar after dollar in preparation for hari raya...i'd rather not. Im upset over the fact tat I was not able to maintain the savings which I had planned for my family's use during this festive season. As much as I had tried my best, I could not ignore my family's daily expenses too. Because of that, I had to dig into the savings and now, it doesnt seem so much like a happy occasion anymore as I dont think I can afford to spend so much during this time. But, it is inevitable. So, not suprising for my mum to plan and order cookies, cakes, what to cook on that day and what to bake. Like what others say, the show must go on. Life must go on. It is day to enjoy, watch tv whole day long, celebrate the end of the fasting month and above all, renew your relationships with your family members and friends as we seek forgiveness from one another.

Others may take this opportunity to visit relatives and friends near and far but for my family, it has always bee…

Van Again..

the little things in life that make you say

'I WANT!!!!!!'

a decent looking guy who sets my heart a flutter flutter flutter.......


you know what...sometimes i think my mum should just let bygones be bygones...and not harp so much on other people's misdeeds towards our family. I mean..if people want to help, they will offer their help but if they dont, we cant force them even though it is wrong for them to take something that rightfully belong to us. SHe is still not over the fact that my father's family does not really care about him and does not offer help even though they're pretty well off while we are struggling. Yes, it has been a struggle coping with the family's expenses and it is a huge responsibility for me coz I cant always say no to my mum's demands to buy this or buy that. But I'd rather just want her to see things from a different perspective what can she do to lighten the family's burden rather than always picking on our relatives on their lack of help.

I mean, if she can cook rice, she can jolly well cook rice instead of just asking me to buy almost ever…

Birthdae with Old friends

About the birthday entry...

well, I would like to give mariah, nats and sherry a big thanks for hanging out with me last saturday and it was a great stress reliever being in the company of your friends. And a big hug to Mariah for thoughtfully thinking of what gifts to give me and trust me, I appreciate every single one of them..though I have to admit the makeover thing..Im very nervous about it..coz you know how not so adventurous I can be..haha..

I like the bag though..and it has been a norm for me to get a bag every year but it's something that I dont mind. I like bags in general...although some do raise an eyebrow to me because it's not quite my taste and knowing myself, I can be very picky; not many things impress me even if other girls seem to carry them around like it's the next IT thing. But other than that, it's not a biggie to me if I dont find the gift bag suitable for my own use. It's the thought that matter how overused that phrase is..ha! But…