Posts

Showing posts from 2018

When Forcing Myself is the Way to Go At Times

Image
I am on an extended weekend holiday because of Hari Raya and also because I have taken leave for tomorrow. This is a big deal as I seldom take leave from work. Anyway, while I didn't do any major things, this would be the perfect time for me to catch up with my orders of personalised cards. I am trying to clear as many as I can these few days. So while other Muslim counterparts are busy with visiting friends and relatives and entertaining guests as they come, I am busy making stuffs to make money.

It sounds like a sad situation but I don't think so for me. I've learnt from a youtube video that I watched very recently how we have to force ourselves to do things in order to get what we want. It's like those people at the gym. There will be people who have to force themselves to get to the gym (aka me), to give up food that is bad for them and instead, learn to seek or cook healthier alternatives. In terms of business, you force yourself to get out there to be noticed. For…

You Are Better Than That..And A Weird Dream

I have been acting a little weird since some time ago where I decided I would just ignore people who don't really care about your existence, like they don't even acknowledge your presence even though we are working in the same department. Well, I still think that I shouldn't waste my time on them either but I think I took it a little further than I expected with people whom I'm on talking terms with. 
For example, I didn't on my work communicator because suddenly I didn't feel like talking to my other colleague sitting at the other end of the office. For three days. And over the weekend, I felt like I missed talking to her. I dunno, maybe because I felt like I was being judged when I said I didn't hug and kiss my parents while she was saying her sons do it to her like all the time. But I did say too that they showed their acts of love through other means because they were traditional parents.
Then last two days I started talking to her again but this time, I …

The Story of A Birthday Cake

Image
My younger brother is growing up so fast and he is at an age where he is going through different life experiences by entering different stages of life. He is currently in National Service and I remembered two days ago, it was pretty sombre because he was nervous about serving the nation and that he is quite a private person. If he didn't want to share, he wouldn't want to and would just dismiss you off.

This year, time passed by so quickly that he is almost at the tail end of his National Service. And he will soon enter the workforce for real. He did work part time before when he was in school but now would be the real deal.

Every year, our birthday celebration for him would be very simple. It's just a cake and us family celebrating it in our living room followed by cake cutting. But this time, he wanted his cake to be a little special especially when I didn't realise I actually bought the same cake as the previous cake last year, lol. 

Here's a fun fact about me. I h…

Are We Blocking Ourselves from Happiness?

Image
I have admittedly felt a little low these days and have some days feel like it's hard to shake this emotional distress out. That is after I watched a video and I felt a little better and makes me think a little harder as well on how this emotional dilemma I'm facing is mostly self inflicted.

Sometimes there are reasons why we are worried and sometimes there is no cause of worry but we still do so. Because of this self inflicted emotional state of  mind, we fail to see what we have in life that we forget about but instead, should be grateful for.

The video makes me realise that I let myself get carried away with emotions when I compare myself unconsciously with others and thinking how their lives seem to be way better than mine. I had the wrong focus. Instead, I should focus on me. Keep my mind occupied and doing things that matter to keep my mind away from feeling lost and helpless. In other words, focus on me. I know it sounds as though it's so egoistic but if you put it in…

How Watching a Certain Reality Show Impacted My Life

Image
I have been a little off in life hence why for quite a period of time, I stopped updating this blog. But the struggles that I go through within me are somewhat lessen a little by the things that I read that inspire me or by learning from other people's examples. They help me cope with my daily life a little bit better and even though I am still not 100% in my element currently, I always tell myself that life goes on and I must continue to grow from strength to strength with each passing day.

Recently, I have been watching Rupaul's Drag Race and it is one of those shows that you will simply binge watch because they were so good. Yes, the show is about men dressing up as women or in drag but in each episode, there is always something entertaining that keep us wanting to watch and see what happens next. And of course, just like any other reality shows, there is always drama between the queens (they're called that in the show) and how they are coping with the challenges. Becaus…

Our Experience at the Prudential Marina Bay Carnival 2018

Image
Last week, we rounded up our Marina Bay Carnival 2018 with the games, which we sucked at by the way. Honestly it was annoying how we throw money away like that, haha. We had enough rides..or rather had enough with rides, gosh that Viking ride made me broke out in sweat. I still don't understand how people can do an IG story/selfie/wefie while they were on that Viking ride that swing like a damn pendulum.

Anyway, we started off with the Euro Ride which was fun but alas, too brief. I think there were like two points that plunged down when we reached the top and then we were back to square one. It would have been better if we went at least two rounds but oh well. Now the Viking, that felt like forever, haha.

I told myself not to scream and though I didn't give out a girly scream, it was more of an exhilirating scream while looking at the guy sitting opposite, with a face who couldn't care less. I was thinking, don't you feel anything? The various reactions on the ride.

I was…

Do We Lose Freedom When We Are Married?

Image
Freedom is such an open word. It can mean freedom of speech, freedom to explore the world and freedom to live the life that you want. Often people feel that they are being pigeonholed and that their lives are being controlled by other people, whether by closed ones or those unrelated to them.

Each person's definition of freedom is different though the main thing still remains that people want to feel 'free' and able to make decisions on their own. 

Some people view marriage to be one that hinders their progression in life. Though I'm not married myself, initially I thought being unmarried means having the lack of freedom to do what I want. Being in marriage means having to do things only after consulting with my husband or do things for the sake of my children which means sacrificing a lot of things that I used to do back when I am still single.

But it's not true. It still depends on how you choose to lead your life and how supportive your spouse is. I mean being sing…

i Light Festival at Marina Bay 2018

Image
Last Saturday, we finished off our iLight Festival 2018 at the Esplanade & Marina Bay and we had covered most of the light displays. They were really interesting in terms of the shapes, sound and some were interactive which attracted even more crowds. There were also some made from recycled materials turning them into lighted displays. iLight Festival takes a look at various sculptures that make use of the light elements in LED form, UV ray form or simply flourescent lights  in large casings of various designs, mostly frosted glass. Some will light up and play an array of colours when interacted with elements such as sound or touch. The lighted displays come in various sizes too from a small 'mushroom' to a large red coloured heart.

I think this iLight Festival should be carried on annually because it provides a good platform for local artists to stretch their creative abilities. Every year, it attracts large crowds of people and make for some interesting insta worthy pictu…

Weekly Update from 19 March to 25 March 2018

Image
I haven't been quite in my element in the first few weeks of March but I'm getting there as in, as much as possible, I try to steer back my life in the direction that I want to go. To be honest, all of us go through ups and downs in life. There will be times when we read or listen of stories of people who go through far worse than us and then we think about how lucky we are that our problems are basically just in our mind, like how I just emotional for nothing.

However, I just need to pull it together and go through life in as much positivity as possible. And then be happy and grateful for what I have and to celebrate little moments because as I learnt recently, tomorrow is never promised. We often put things on hold because we think a lot of time and that tomorrow is another day. But what if that tomorrow never comes. Even if it comes, are we going to be in the right state of mind and body to do what we wanted to do all this time.

So basically, we do not know what will happen t…

When Colleagues Talk Behind Your Back

I haven't had a good start to March and it became an issue because I feel that I'm not doing my best. Yes we all have our moments and as much as we try to make it right or make it better, it cannot be 100 per cent perfect. And this leads me to think that I'm simply not good enough.

We are not perfect and we make mistakes. Unfortunately, all the effort we put in get swept aside because of this one mistake we made that automatically make people think we are not good enough. And while I don't ask for appreciation, it upsets me to know that the person I was covering for due to her medical condition, added fuel to the fire by saying to another colleague, oh I don't like to receive instructions, as though implying that it could have caused the mistake.

First of all, I thank God that this other colleague spoke to me about what had been said about me. Yes I was upset thinking about how they could say such things. But this colleague, who was the one receiving the 'info…

Rediscovering Writing & Cutting Down My Reliance On Social Media

I started writing again in my journal when I came across an old notebook where I did some creative writing and then reminisce about the time I didn't have any internet at home. I didn't even have a computer. At some point, I did have and back then was the dial up internet, lol. But it was still a form of entertainment, at a much slower speed, haha.

Anyway, I was also thinking how simpler life was back then and how less dependent we were on our phones and the internet. So I relied on writing and there was no online journal so I wrote inside my notebooks. Honestly it was quite embarrassing reading through them but these pages shaped my world back then.  I stopped writing for quite a while this year because I didn't feel like it. It's also as though I'm repeating myself. I would say that I promise to do this or that but never seem to come around and do something progressive. I feel as though I reset my life so many times without any much progress. So perhaps I would ta…

Being Upset Over Being Taken Advantage Of

Yesterday, I was ranting away to my brother, no less..haha, because I just don't understand how some people have the ability to use other people to be at their beck and call. I've had two such encounters and even though I tried to be flexible but people took it as an advantage. Sometimes I would think don't they try to put themselves in that person's shoes and see how much trouble they have caused. It doesn't mean I'm all nice about it you just keep taking one step further and further.

I run this online shop and while I try to be civil and also nice, I do have limitations. I think this is pretty normal if you're a human being. In the social media recently, there were encounters where restaurants were given really poor reviews based on how the customers were treated. But usually, it was one sided and the restaurant management would try to explain away and then things would get to a nasty start if the management claimed that they had been put in a different li…

Imagining My Life to be Different

Last Saturday, I was imagining a little on how different my life would be if certain things didn't happen to me, reciprocated on a potential love interest or making certain decisions. Many people believe that our life story has been pretty much been written in our fate and that we're just acting it out, whether we like it or not.

But that aside, I want to take a moment on imagining how I would be different. Perhaps, I would have gotten married if I had not built it early in me many many years ago that I do not want to be tied down to a marriage. Or perhaps, I wasn't so choosy in the guys who wanted to get to know me and that I shed all my inhibitions and just you know, 'go for it'. Then I sheepishly think oh, I probably will get married and have at least 3 children, haha.

I don't see anything wrong with being married, having kids and so on. It's just a natural transition to have your own family when you're an adult and earning income, whether working for …

A Trip Down to Light to Night Festival 2018 : Civic District

Image
Last week, my brother and I went to an outdoor event called the Light to Night Festival 2018 at the Civic District area. So it turned into a host of colours in various parts of the Civic District attracting crowds, both local and foreign. Nearby, there was a line up of stalls selling various food and trinkets and even though the entrance was quite muddy due to a slight rain and foot traffic. 
The National Gallery transformed into a kaleidoscope of colours and it was also an interactive event as visitors could stomp on these special platforms that would supposedly light up the colours. I liked watching the colours change on the building facade but I liked it more when you could see the light in different depth creating 3D effects which I didn't see in these light exhibitions. But I guess the emphasis was more on colours so I can't complain much, haha.
Further down, there were several other buildings as well and they too transformed into these colourful blocks such as the Old Parl…

Being Upset Over A Picture

Image
Sometimes I feel that we get carried away emotionally because of what people say to us or how we see ourselves and then we get disappointed as though we feel like we have failed ourselves. But truth is, we only have one heart and one body. People can also say ANYTHING they want because some are just so salty AF or some think they are giving us the best advice, but ultimately it is up to us to decide what we should follow and what we should not.
A couple of weeks ago, I met up with my ex classmates and I actually felt really good like because the clothes fit me well and I thought that even if the scale said otherwise, physically I feel fine. Until I see the picture the restaurant took of us and then I felt completely down as though I let myself down. 
You know from my previous posts that I wrote about me trying out different forms of fitness workouts and having fun while at it, though sometimes I feel like dying as well when it got pretty tough. Bottom line is, I do it to be fit and heal…

Am I Worthy to Be Noticed?

Recently a guy I used to admire at the gym, who is sorta like a combination of geek + muscles, made a reappearance after a long while early this year. I was really surprised when I saw him because it had been a few months? I don't know..I don't really keep track but it seemed pretty long to me. When I turned my head and saw him in his familiar tall and slightly hunched walk, I was like..'he's back!!!!' in my heart of course, can't say it out loud explicitly.

I guess he noticed me as well. I mean I could be a familiar face since I go there every Sunday for years, though the timing started getting later and later. But oh well, at least I still go, haha. Seriously, he still looks that good, without missing a beat, and if I were to skip gym few months, I shudder at the thought. It's not that I am fit right now but let's say, I would be worse off than I am right now.

But this time he didn't seem to have his 'kakis' or people who know him because he…

Learning to Adapt to Major Changes in Life

I recently heard a piece of unexpected news and we went ballistic! I couldn't share here..yet..but all I can say is that people change. Things happen and then you question yourself about life and how you want to live it especially when it concerns about your future. At one point, you may have strong opinions about something and then you start to re-think about the whole situation and figure out, yes perhaps this is what I want and I'm ready to embrace it.
Of course, stepping into a whole new territory is a different story. Nobody knows what the future has in store for us. At one point, we are leading the perfect life and then the next moment, we are fighting a crisis. I've written about this before because this is how life goes. I can't always expect things to remain the same all the time, for this year and the upcoming years. Naturally, if we're so much into the routine, it takes awhile to adjust. New or broken relationships, job postings, different set of work or …

End of First Week of the Year, Hurtful Comments & Having A Family

So we have officially gone into the first week of the new year, yay! I hope it's been alright for you. I didn't do much on New Year's Day itself but I did earn $40 from a customer which of course, I was so happy about because it was my first earnings. It sorta kickstarted my humble online business on the right foot. Also, even though initially I didn't get any orders yet for the year but slowly it trickled in and then I am going to be busy again, in a good way. 

While we are rejoicing in what the year has in store for us, unfortunately, not all have a pleasant kickstart into the new year. A family of four passed away this early week from a horrific accident which occurred in Malaysia when a truck hit their car when it was stationary when the truck driver lost control of its vehicle coming down the slope. The couple left behind two other older children and I can't imagine the anguish they have to go through losing their family members. May God bless their souls and g…