Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mistake Unrectified

Some of my posts, if you read them, are full of grammatical mistakes or repetitive words or phrases, hehe. It's not that I don't bother to amend my mistakes but I type using my gmail account....using my mac at work. I often have to type quite fast because there will be busybodies around. So just to let you know that in case I drive you away coz I write in awful English..haha.

Debt Society

I just applied for a credit card called the POSB multitude card. Okay it's actually a debit and credit together which is like one of a kind, for now but with a very little credit limit. I didn't want to but besides the idea that it's just cool to own a credit card, heh, I didn't think I want to. I know I will never have one because of my pay which I doubt will ever increase that much in future anyway. And this is after I read a lengthy article about how my age group forms the highest number in credit debt owing.
 
The concept of credit card is simple. Depending on the card, you can have credit limit up to 4X of your salary. It's cool to have one because others may see it as a reflection of roughly how much you are earning and it also increases your spending limit. Unfortunately, credit also means you owe the bank money after you which you will have to settle it, plus interest, when they send you your credit card bill. This is where people get into trouble as they think that they can get by just paying the minimum sum and roll over the amount owing to the next month. The thing is, when they roll over the money, they are charged even higher interest. Then some will take up other credit card from another bank to settle the amount and then later they owe this new bank money.
 
We're not talking about hundreds of dollars of debt owing but in the tens of thousands. That's a whole lot of owing and they will lose their car or their house to settle the outstanding amount.
 
It's very scary, I tell you. And then now I think you assume Im making a mistake *sigh*. But I promise to be prudent and knowing me, I doubt I will use the credit card anyway since my own debit card is hardly ever been used. I just don't like to owe money but I thought it will be useful during emergency though. I dont like owing money too. If I use it, maybe near to payday when I run absolutely dry. I see how. Chet,  I talk as though they will approve my card application. I hope they don't check my bank balance because it's so miserable..haha. But I think if they did, they may also conclude why I need the card...hrm.
 
 
 

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Another Birthday Post

Above you can see me celebrating my birthday....with a cake! yay!! Don't mind me but I've always thought birthday cakes are a waste of money because it can be so freaking expensive nowadays. This cake, however, is fully sponsored by my aunt. Although sometimes I think she talks way too much and loses her temper easily, I still think she's at least nice to me and my family partly coz she pities us since my mum isn't in her best health and Im the sole breadwinner. But of course we play nice to her like when we have extra money such as me getting my bonus, my mum likes to treat her although I think it will be a long time for me to get acquainted with her daughter as she can be quite a handful sometimes.


Oh well, I guess generally not all children can be angels..haha..gosh Im so mean. Nevertheless, it's a nice mini celebration with the family :)


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Beating the Birthday Blues

Even though I have a blog, I feel rather embarrassed to let people know about its existence partly coz it's mostly about me whining about life...haha. It's nothing interesting like many others out there who write interesting stuffs or post nice pictures..or at least stuffs that stir controversy or bitching. It's an outlet for me at least about how I deal with life as it comes with one obstacle after another like some never ending story. 


So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me if my visitor count is not in the hundreds or the thousands. But of course, it is on the internet and once in awhile, I do write things that maybe interesting or useful to those who happened to drop by from the sky. It is also a welcome distraction from my whinings..haha.


Just yesterday, an ex colleague of mine had just given birth to a baby girl. I know she went through a lot of relationships and sometimes whine about how her friends are getting married one by one and having children while she was stuck in a loop with crazy boyfriends..heh..okay I added the last part. But seriously, I kinda felt pity for her because I think she deserves someone better and Im glad she did :)


Talking about pity, I think my mum pities for not having a love life. At random moments, she will talk about how some guys don't mind how you look like since I sometimes complain that Im not slim and pretty enough but Im not saying in the line that Im not slim and pretty enough for people to admire. Then she will also say that if I make an effort to at least look pretty, who knows someone will take a liking at me. Today, she talked about her history that one of the guys at her previous workplace, who was very good looking, told someone that he liked her even though there were other candidates who were prettier than her. So she said that oh, not all guys go for looks. 


Although Im quite happy with my single state, I do sometimes wonder like eh, am I not that attractive enough? I have my moments of insecurity and it was quite bad early this week but I have decided to quit whining and just do something about it. Even if some things can't be changed, I can learn to accept them. I know I can never be drop dead gorgeous but I suppose I do look quite young for my age...at certain angles..heh. It's a nice compliment for someone to shave a few years off my actual age. I feel so 'how lian'..hahaha..Oh well, it is a stark difference between the remarks given to me many years ago, say when I was 21, because if I tell people my age, they would be shocked coz they thought I looked so much older. So I won't say it's because I look young naturally. Maybe because in my mid twenties, I decided to make a conscious effort to change because I was sick and tired of looking so old and frumpy. I got distracted two years back but this year, I renewed my health vows and at this point of time, Im half way towards achieving my ideal weigh loss of 10kg although I admit that I slide in and out of my efforts which explains why it is taking me quite a long time to lose .haha. Somehow I still make my way back to the pathway of hell a healthier lifestyle.


Speaking of health, I haven't been in my best state for the last two weeks. I have poor eating habits, have not been exercising, experiencing aching muscles especially around the chest area, and for those who follow my facebook status updates, apparently I whine a lot. I seriously don't know if it has something to do with a post birthday blues, if there is such a thing, but this week onwards, which technically is now :S, I feel like I should start being back in control of my life and not just what I eat. It's a good thing I don't falter a lot since I don't stuff myself that much anymore after that one time binging moment which left me with a rather serious case of indigestion. I may have missed two weeks of gym which is a huge crime for me but I don't want to compromise my health because I wasn't in a good state physically. 

Next Sunday onwards, which will be in a brand new month already, I will try my best not to miss a gym session due to me not taking good care of myself which led me to feeling unwell and thus, not in a good condition for a workout. I have no choice but to work harder to make up for the last two weeks of poor diet and exercise. I will lose the balance of 5 kilograms and it's not for the sake of vanity but for health reason. I will also work hard in spending my time doing more useful things and I will also learn to better manage my money. I must say that for the last bit, I think I am coping quite well but like everything in life, there is room for improvement. 


Three cheers to a renewed me!! Okay technically, I have not begun the journey yet but I have to start somewhere. I feel the best way to tackle this is to simply write down what I want to achieve and how I want to achieve it. Like one of the facebook friends said, writing them down is better than just keeping them in your head because so many things may cloud your mind like our daily worries and routine. I can also keep track of what I have been doing too and see where I may have gone wrong and where I can improve. 

But it's taking me a while to get started. The engine has not warmed up yet..heh.





 










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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Headache and Heartache

My so called birthday bag had already arrived in the mail. As much as I prefer to buy direct from the store instead, sometimes buying online is cheaper also..haha. But quality will have to be compromised a bit especially when it's super cheap. Anyway, I didn't really like the pink colour. It looks rather mouldish looking when I first saw it but the colour is slightly better now. Maybe because it was quite dusty after I took it out? I dunno..
 
Recently I have been experiencing chest pains and it's not something to be ignored because it's obviously health related. But what can I do. I worry about stuffs every day especially money matters. As I've said many many times, it's hard to manage on one single small income. But somehow, I know I will get by.
 
My life line this month comes in the form of my brother's maintenance money of $1k end of this month. So at least there is a bit to survive until the next month. But I have to scrimp because I don't want to spend all. What will my family eat if that happens? It's only for emergency or dry seasons..heh.
 
But all this calculations is driving me insane. How do people cope? I guess they just have to..like you just have to pay bills if you want to continue using your mobile line and internet. I just don't like those unplanned bill payments. Then if you don't pay after a certain date, then they will increase it.
 
Then this Friday, my mum has to go for her medical appointment. I don't think I want her to go but the first time round, she didn't go. Then now she complains of pain so Im just worried too. Anyway I have received her medifund memo which means that we will only pay only half and up to $600. Honestly I don't know how much money I have in my hand right now. It's not that I don't want to know but it's pointless anyway as it is going to give me a headache only because it is going to be spent anyway whether I want to or not. I can't stop my mum from having cravings and I can't just stop buying groceries.
 
Tonight, I need to plan my finances again. I still don't want to know how much I have but I just want to know if I have enough emergency money and also to plan how much to return back if I use the emergency money. But nevertheless, Im still happy this month I got 'extra' pocket money..hehe. I mentioned about my $50 Hari Raya money and then for my birthday, I received two birthday ang paos or red packets. So happy :) At first I wanted to buy something for myself but I think it's ok lah, at this point of time, my family needs the money more. Plus I didn't get the cardigan that I wanted too :(
 
Nevermind, sometimes things happen for a reason. It's just a way for me to believe also that things will get better.
 
 
 
 

Saturday, September 18, 2010

It's my birthday!!

I love birthday celebrations..especially if it's mine..all mine!! hahahahaha...



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Friday, September 17, 2010

Rub a Dub Dub

My mum was like scolding me few days ago saying why did you have to announce on facebook about seeing other people dressed up for hari raya as if you wanted to and then now you complain you don't want to go to your relative's houses? Heh..ok I said I was sorry like maybe I should have kept my mouth shut coz now my aunt knows and then she wants me to go over to her house over the weekend. Of course, as usual I complained. And then it's my birthday tomorrow!! I don't want to spend it at her house...tsk. 
 
Anyway, my ex colleagues wanted to come over to my house if I allow them to and then at first my mum didn't want them to come coz the  house is messy blah blah blah...but then maybe she thought I was unhappy (actually, I am...) so she decided that they can come. PROVIDED! I clean the house first. Actually, there's not much to clean..hehe..ever since the kind cleaning lady did the initial cleaning up and we have been following it up since. Er..okay maybe not the mopping and the vacuuming. But I guess I have to over the weekend tomorrow. I bought a packet of wet wipers to mop the floor coz it's simple to use. After it has been used up, just take another wiper. No rinsing required. But I think I have been too caught up trying to watch most of the episodes of the korean drama Life is Beautiful that my life has been put on the setback including the mopping..haha.
 
I have a pact with myself. Until someone subs the last few latest episodes of the korean drama, then I will watch again. I think I watched most of the episodes already but generally skipped most of the parts except where Kyung Soo appeared..haha. Not that Im biased because Kyung Soo's scenes can be heartwrenching especially when he had his conversations with his mother compared to the other lighthearted scenes involving Tae Sub's extended families. But the stupid videos take so long to load so I've got no choice! Maybe one fine day I will let the different parts of an episode load and then watch them all.
 
Tonight, I will want to clear a lot of stuffs from my room then if possible, wipe down my room especially the dusty bits. I don't know why...I cleared up so many things in my room already but they are still jam packed. I didn't know Im such a hoarder over the years. Good thing I have stopped being a hoarder. Will I succumb to the temptation to watch my korean drama? Only time will tell..haha.
 
 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Payments and More Payments

I think they have updated the status of my house ownership application to that of me and my mother and all the other government agencies have been updated including the much hated town council..heh. But it doesn't really make much of a difference to me since I have been paying the annual fees for the tv license and the property tax anyway for the last two years or so or even more ever since my father was not able to pay them. I don't want to land in any more hot soup after the last incident with the town council where they send us the court summons. While I have cleared the debt without going to court, I don't want to take any chances. Anyway, nowadays I don't feel so hung up over how much balance of money I have but just to make sure that I continue to save so there is enough money to go by with each passing day. I think I am much happier that way. We may be poor but we shouldn't struggle so much trying to put food on the table and keeping up with the utilities bill so that we have water and electricity running.
 
The latter is not easy to maintain but what to do. They keep charging quite  a lot for our utilities bill and I just hope that they don't come one fine day to cut it off because we are not are able to pay in full. *sigh* Sometimes I can't deny that I hate the life I am in now but I believe that I should be thankful and appreciate some of the things that I have like a roof over the head. I read news about many Malay families stuck with a huge debt for the house payments and risk losing their house or have even lost it when the bank takes away their house as the mortgage payment.
 
But Im only human. I can't expect to think that my life is all fine and dandy. If I think of my life in that way, then I will never strive to get better and just be complacent and then it will be a spiralling downfall not just for myself but for my family too.
 


 

Monday, September 13, 2010

Make Up Geek

Well, with a little bit of money that came my way including a gift money and my savings, I actually had a bit of courage to buy some things for my own which also  includes the long overdue haircut and also a top. But lest you think that I am letting my guard down, it's not true although Im trying my best NOT to get that black patented shoulder bag..heh.  


Part of the beauty of being a young woman is the ability to dress up and I admit I am not very good in this area. But I believe a little enhancement to my looks will go quite a long way even if I think that I am just average looking compared to many of the young women around me. Since I don't have a natural flair for putting on make up and dressing up well, I just learn from other people, magazines and ah..also youtube..hehe. I guess slowly I will pick up. 


Oh, I bought a blusher and a eyeshadow and after contemplating for so long, I figured out what are the best shades that I want to get based on my research. Sometimes it's not just a matter of whether the colours are pretty but whether it suits you or if the colours are basically about the same as what I already have, it will quite a waste of money, right? Since I am constantly on a tight budget, its best to just buy the right things.


I got these over the weekend


Neutral colours with a hint of glimmer

I didn't put aside any money for make up so I will make do with cheap brands coz I don't use them every day anyway so it won't have that much effect on my skin. I don't work at a place where image is everything. If I wear a dress or something different, they will sure comment like last Thursday when I wore a new blue top, the I.T. guy remarked 'wah? why so pretty today?' :S Even if I wore something I have not worn before, they know it's a new one. What the heck.


Oh moving on, I've been following this you tube channel and she gives good tips on make up for dummies like me. And I think I have been picking up her tips quite well so now occasionally I will wear eye shadow apart from the must have blusher. Though I don't think Im that good yet, well I think Im on my way to..er..enhancing my looks..heh.


Me with the new make up products!
I know you can't really see the make up but you see, I don't have a good quality digital camera like most bloggers..pfft. But if you don't think I look like a zombie, which I am like more than 90% of the time, then you know something is up such as judging from the picture above.


Coupled with my hair do, and a hint of great make up, I think I am ready to conquer the world! haha..but then again, I've got fierce competition from the rest of the girls who take great lengths to doll themselves up. Sigh, long way to go...LOOOOONG way to go.

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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Back in the Game

The battle to lose weight has continued..yet again! After a month of fasting (well, almost) and hiatus from the gym, I decided to hit the gym and it felt goood.. :D I thought that since I didn't go gym for such a long time after being a regular since almost the end of last year, I would go slow. At first, I was on  the cross trainer and it was quite heavy on my knees ever since they tweaked that damn thing. But I persevered from my initial 'just ten minutes will do' to the usual twenty minutes. I didn't get down because I was flanked by two people on my left and right side and they were on the exercise machine before me yet they still persevered through so I didn't want to be a let down to myself by getting off the machine so fast before them. 


But I was almost dying when I got off the machine and thought I was going to collapse..haha..but luckily I managed to get to my 100 plus on time and got my energy back in a jiff. So I did the full exercise routine as per before I took my break and I felt that I even did it better than the last few times when I started to get lazy..haha. I guess I needed a break as well from the routine.


I even thought I saw this tall well built guy checking me out when I was using one of the weight machines for the arms. *sigh* I know Im just in my dream land like as if that really happened, but if he really did check me out, Im so honoured. Reminds me of Kyung...Kyung what? Kyung Soo!

Look at those biceps..
I tried to find him again as I walking past the weight area where all the dumb bells are and where mostly all the guys are as well (along with some girls showing off to their boyfriends..heh..) but they all look almost the same in their outfit and physique that I can't tell them apart! Well, except for the skinnier dudes.


Sigh, I will never match up to their standards. Even my dear ol' Kyung Soo. What am I..Im just a blubber of fats..haha..but they're my fats. But then fate lies in God's hand. If he thinks I am suited to be paired with a Kyung Soo lookalike, I can't complain, can I? muahahaha!!! I crack myself up.

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Thanks for the Kind Gestures

 Erm, I think I made it pretty obvious on facebook that I didn't go out for hari raya visiting and got a little bit emotional when i see others enjoying themselves during their gatherings. So strange. In the past, I used to cringe going out to pay visits to my relatives but now because I had been doing that for so long, it felt so strange and different to stay at home and not even wearing the baju kurung on the first day of raya. But it's okay. Im just being emotional. It's not as if when given the chance to visit, I will jump up and down with enthusiasm. I will probably still cringe..haha.

Yah I was saying it was so obvious that my friend commented on my facebook that I will get my chance to take hari raya pics if she is having her open house this year and I sorta begged to get an invitation..haha. Then my aunt later messaged me on the phone to come to her house for Hari Raya. I suppose she read the facebook messages as well. The only problem is that she doesn't have chairs..haha. They're going to move to Johor Bahru soon so currently their house in Singapore is sparsely furnished because they have sold many of the furniture pieces already.


But really, Im okay. I would rather stay at home (and watch my korean drama..hehe) than go out to visit especially since Im not really the type who 'loves' interacting with other people. Sometimes got no choice lah but to just..er..interact lest people think Im the most stuck up person in the world. I've got relatives actually but most of those that I often visit in the first few days of raya have passed away with the recent one being in Feb this year. Plus my mum is still recovering from her surgery last month so I don't think it's a good time to go visit though she did go to Arab Street and Geylang just last week taking bus and train rides in her condition. 


So no worries. Like I said, I do get raya invitations every year so it's really no big deal. I will eventually get to don the raya outfit chosen by my mother as usual since I always couldn't be bothered with it. Plus I do enjoy seeing the happy faces of those who went out in full force with their family members.

Still I think it's a nice gesture for them to invite me over. Anyway, speaking of nice gestures, I did get a rather big fat 'hongbao' or collection money for Hari Raya this year :) I was so overwhelmed by it because it came from a non Malay. It was given by a Chinese teacher who just received her teacher of the year award by the school. I actually congratulated her and while she was being modest about it, I said that well, she deserves it. I thought it was really nice and kind of her.


I don't know if I mentioned this before but I also received food from my ex colleague and part of it includes one whole big square of brownies. I bought it from her before at about $20 but this time she gave it to me for free and it was, yet again, so nice and kind of her. Really, I don't know what I do to deserve all this kindness and generosity but not to say Im showing off, sometimes they say it's because Im just very nice towards them so they're just being kind back. I don't know how nice I am but hey, if it goes all the way to being appreciated to this extent, then maybe I am that nice..haha.


Feel like taking a piece of brownie from the fridge now but I've got to go to gym in a matter of hours later. Yes it's back to torturing exercising again after slightly more than a month of rest due to the fasting month. My mum said Im crazy to go during hari raya period but what to do, coz like I said I don't actually go out visiting and celebrating so it's really nothing. Besides, I've been eating a lot of junk food during the fasting month too coz Im not really health conscious during this period of time..haha. But I try to still take care of what I eat too like if I eat a lot during break fast, then I will either eat something light like bread or not eat at all for my pre dawn meal. I still can remember the time where I put on weight instead of losing weight during the fasting month where we abstain from eating from dawn till dusk. Strange phenomenon..I meant the putting on weight thing..haha.


Did I lose weight? Erm..I dunno. Later will be the verdict when I weigh myself after the gym session. Do I feel lighter? I don't think I felt lighter but as a consolation that even I didn't lose weight, I think I might have lost some inches here and there especially when I wear my skirts...haha. I don't want to feel pressurized over losing weight because health is more important than the number on the weighing scale. But my mind has set to it that I will try my best to lost 10 kg this year. I still have like about less than 4kgs to go. So far so good, every month I have lost at least 1 kg and I don't look so bloated like last year. Yet again, no pressure because after all, Im not aiming to be slim, anyway. Yah I know you're thinking like what's the point anyway but to me, it's just a personal thing that I've been aiming to achieve for the last few years to get to my desired weight at least. I slacked quite a lot the last two years so Im  just trying to get my bearing back this year and thankfully, Im on track so far.


Okay don't want to bore you with my health regime plan again. Im back to watching the lovable korean drama and even more lovable Kyung Soo. The show gets better and better although I can't say the same for the downloading speed :S



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The Long and Short of it.

Ah yes, I finally had a haircut after trying my best to grow my hair but it backfired because it becomes freaking ugly. I wanted to have a longer hairstyle because it just seem so nice on other people but unfortunately, not on me. Yes I did have super long hair like three years ago and though most time, it looked pretty much out of control but I like it loads though. When I changed jobs and I wanted a brand new image, I decided to 'chop' my hair off, of course by a qualified hairdresser,  and it sorta worked at first until I grew it back again to the previous length :S


I don't know..I have a love hate relationship with my hair because it's not as silky shiny as most girls. It has always been unruly no matter WHAT product I use to de-tame it. Then the only solution is to just...sigh..keep it short. At first, I thought that it wouldn't make mo so feminine looking and my friend also commented that not all people look great with short hair and I happen to be in that category. Although I did follow her advice and seeing my ex colleague looking great with shoulder lengthed hair, that is where the influence to grow it all back again comes from.


But like I said, it works against me instead. I doubt I can ever go back to those days when my hair was mid way down  my back. It's also a misconception that when you have a shorter 'do, it makes you less attractive. It's true when my friend says that not everybody can carry the shorter 'do. I feel that I can carry it well because it suits me better especially when my face isn't as chubby as last time where my short hair only emphasized on the chubbiness.


Then when I think about it, there are other people who look great in shorter 'do and they have been maintaining it every since though there are variations in the style. I suppose this is my right category. I don't have a pic with my new hairstyle but nevertheless, I like it. I don't feel like my hair is getting in the way..haha.  And shamelessly I would say I look even better (read: younger) and the hairstyle suits my now slightly angular face..just as I expected it before I had my hair cut :)


Okay, I said I don't have a pic but just so happened to have a webcam that can take an instant pic..haha. Don't laugh because It's not that nice at this point of time and I also didn't wash my hair today so it looks quite oily. Anyway, whatever.






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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Put a Ring on It

It's nice to see people posting up pictures of their Hari Raya gatherings on facebook. Everyone seems so happy. I wish I have mine to post up too but that's not the case. I actually spent my later part of Hari Raya doing laundy, watching a malay comedy movie and arguing with my brother over the use of the laptop. Oh, and watching Kyong Soo in Life is Beautiful...haha.


I don't know why but maybe it's the influence of the korean drama where I really enjoyed watching the antics of one of the couples coz they were just so sweet and charming together. Of course there were some tense moments but they didn't want to give in so easily and try their best to work things out together despite the anger and frustrations because above all, they love each other. Sometimes I wish I was in a situation like that. No not the kind that people resisted strongly against but one that is so full of love that we don't need to have our hands all over each other kind. I want the guy to be attentive towards my needs without being clingy but simply being caring, sweet and charming. I hope that is not too much to ask, eh? See, Im not so difficult. I don't need the guy to buy me gifts or spend a fortune on me. I just want him to give me his undivided attention like make me feel special without resorting to gift buying. It may seem like a simple el cheapo plan but at least I don't feel so lonely knowing that someone cares a lot for me.


Recently, I've been contemplating on buying a cheap ring just so that I can wear it on my ring finger. Just for the fun of it. Plus such rings always make for an interesting conversation until i drop the bomb that narh, it's just a cheap no frill ring..haha. Hey, don't laugh at the idea. I just might drop by an accessories shop and dig around for a ring that will fit my fat chubby ring finger. I just want to know how it feels like wearing a ring on it. I know it's bordering on being desperate but hey, it's just a little something that I want to feel.


I have also been feeling a bit down because much earlier, I said that I got a feeling I will get a boyfriend, or at least someone who has an interest in me and I share the same interest as well in him. Well, there are three more months to go before end of the year and I think it's just a silly thought that will not come true. I mean, why is it so difficult for me to get to know other single guys or at least a guy to get to know me? Is it because they think Im fat and ugly? Or Im just not worth the time for them to try to get to know me? Sometimes I feel like Im just not pretty enough. I watched several malay programmes yesterday on tv and I can't match up to their attractiveness. Im just a typical average looker. Not stunning at all to at least stir up some interest.


But ever the patient kind, I can wait. I'll work on my imperfections and continue to take good care of myself. I also know there are sincere guys out there who want to get to know me but are too shy, haha. So shameless. Still, I want to get that ring. Just for the fun of it but...who knows it may bring me luck? :)





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Friday, September 10, 2010

At Home on Hari Raya

I spent like almost more than two hours at an ex colleague's house coz she wanted to give me food for our Hari Raya and we ended up talking loads and eating lunch together. I would say it was a great meet up but it wouldn't be the only one because we would be meeting up again, soon..haha.


Anyway, I broke my own food rule, which is not consuming food that has coconut milk in it, because it's unavoidable on this festive occasion..seriously. If you don't eat them, it will be disrespectful towards the people who cook them especially if they have specially packed them for you at no charge. But it's no big deal as long as I don't complain on how tight and bloated my stomach is feeling right now..haha..and uhm, trying not to plan to go gym for two days instead of the scheduled Sunday only.


By the way, Im not going out for visiting on the first day of Hari Raya which is also the first time for me. Why? Well, the elder aunt of my father recently passed away in February and normally we would go to her house to pay a visit. So basically, I don't have any elder house to visit. But it's okay. Hari Raya is also about spending time with your family whether at your own home or in an extended family's home. It's about togetherness and forgiveness.


I still look forward towards open house invitations which I think I will definitely get..haha. So shameless. Can't wait to see my ex colleagues and simply catch up. It will be such a nice thing to do :) 


Before I forget, have a Happy Hari Raya to you if you are celebrating it. If not, have a happy long weekend with friends and family :)




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Asian Delight


I like my blog post title. Asian Delight..haha. In case you think I am talking about some Asian delicacies, Im not..unless I consider him as a nice comforting dessert..hehe.
What problem? That I just keep staring at you and your physique?


Kyong Soo from Life is Beautiful


I like this korean drama so much  because it's just so..er..watchable. Sure there are like two characters whom I quite dislike, they're not totally despicable. One of them is Kyong Soo's mother who can't accept her son's lifestyle and wants him to conform to a life in honour of his wealthy and respected family where his father will be the next chancellor of a school. He finally found happiness in someone else after his divorce with his ex wife but his happiness is constantly being threatened by his mother was determined to get them back together again and make things, in her own words, back to normal.


It was heartbreaking for him because he felt like an outcast by his own mother. His mother is being unreasonable but if I were to put myself in her shoes, I would understand why she is feeling that way and how hard for her to accept the fact that her son just wouldn't want to live a life as dictated by her just because it was a traditional and idealist Korean way of life which he wasn't happy in.

Another character whom I dislike but don't totally hate is the youngest uncle in the extended family. He is often grumpy and has basically a loose mouth where everyone is often trying to ask him to shut up before he does even more damage. 


Overall, the show is addictive..heh. And every time I see Kyong Soo, my heart melts and I become this fan girl. I almost died when he took off his clothes leaving him in just his tank top and black briefs before he stepped into the shower. In the show, the other characters also acknowledged how tall and handsome he was just like a movie star and how he had such great physique. Indeed, he has..heh. He's just soooo...hunky and swoon worthy. Infact Korean movie stars and singers have such great physiques. Just look at Rain although he does look rather boyish looking compared to my Kyong Soo who looks more manly.


I still have a problem with his hairstyle although it keeps getting better. But in real life, not so much like he couldn't be bothered with it and just let his hair becomes so overgrown :S. So I won't complain about it. I think his great physique pretty much makes up for everything..haha.





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Passing of a Soap Character

While I absolutely didn't have the heart to watch the clip where Dr Reid Oliver was dying, I did watch the aftermath of his death after he declared that he wanted to donate his heart to another dying patient, who was his direct competition for the Chief of Hospital but who he became close to as a friend. It was absolutely heartbreaking and ironic because he was driving to get the heart for the heart transplant but instead, he got into an accident where his injuries were so extensive that doctors declared that he won't survive. 


I cried coz this was a character many had learnt to love though at first, when he first came into the town few months back as a new character in town, nobody really liked him. He wasn't foul mouthed but he had a 'way' with words where others would think he was being ruthless though in his context, he was just telling things as they were.


I talked about him also in an earlier post and I wasn't the only one who simply loved this character and he was like a fresh breath of air for the soap drama which was facing a declining number of viewership after many many years being on television. 


It was a great loss. An absolutely great loss. No doubt the soap drama was going to say its goodbye for good but I was just disappointed that he just had to die. The writers made him die an honorable death by turning him into an organ donor, where he initially joked on his death bed by saying who knew he actually had a heart, judging by his numerous insensitive comments towards other people.


Maybe if I have a little bit more courage, I would watch the scene where he was on his death bed and his loved one refused to accept the fact that he was dying. Nevertheless, he managed to convince his loved one to help him sign the organ donation letter so that his heart could be donated. It was very heroic of him.


Goodbye Dr Reid Oliver. You will always be missed. You are a true hero. Thank you Eric Scheffer for capturing our hearts as Dr Reid Oliver. You are indeed a talented actor.





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Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Kyung Soo

While I had my french guy obssession quite recently, now it's a korean guy! Heh..when it come to guys, as long as they ping my radar (no not gaydar..tsk), my obssession will start.

Slowly Finding Love

Well, in my previous entries, I've always look down on myself in terms of my physical appearance to the extent of calling myself ugly. Actually I am wrong to say that. No Im not going to say that Im actually SUPER ugly and not just ugly. I must be thankful that I have perfect features though my mum complains my nose is too big. Anyway that's just her. Bottom line is, even if there is some girl out there who is pretty, there is bound to be someone else who is prettier, haha. Okay sorry I shouldn't be ridiculing such pretty girls, haha.


So I think that I shouldn't underestimate myself. I think everyone has their own opinions as to how pretty you are or how handsome you are and if they are evil enough, they will call you downright ugly but who cares, right? As long as we don't think so low of our self, and continue to take good care of our self, it's good enough.


But of course, which girls heart won't melt if some guy calls her pretty and it will be a double bonus if the guy you are crushing on says that you are pretty. Best of all, you don't need to put in much effort in terms of dressing up and he still thinks you are worthy of being called pretty. And all because you are a beautiful and amazing person being just the way you are :)


I know Im rambling at 3.30 am in the morning and I should be asleep right now. I met up with a long time friend just now and then part of our conversation involves finding our better half. I haven't met him yet and you know I don't have any luck in the love department. After my time in school spent chatting away with guys I hardly knew and then went on several meet up sessions, I concluded many years ago that I want to get to know guys the old fashioned way. That means, just meeting them face to face. It could stem from a friendship that turns into something more once feelings start to develop but because of my lack of social skills or that my social circle isn't very wide, unfortunately, it's really hard for me to find people to get to know of. Sure these couple of years, I do make friends but I tend to stick to long time friends who I meet up once in awhile but they're all girls of my age :S


Years go by and I still haven't met someone who shares a mutual interest in me and that I reciprocate the feeling and interest back. But maybe, someday I will, you will never know. There are those people who thought they will remain single but met someone from the past again and then new feelings emerge. Im so envious of such people. 


Though I still hold on to the notion that guys are mostly interested in girls in terms of physical appearance, sometimes I am proven wrong that this is not always the case. I do see couples where the guy is a skinny dude or a good looking dude and the girl is..er..on the other side of the fence but they're happy and that's all that matters right? Them being happy together even if people were to look their way and see how strange their combination is. I mean who are we to judge them, eh?


I've always been on the heavier side being in my teens and then all the way up to my twenties so I assume in that manner that guys go for girls who are slim and pretty. That seems like a shallow thought but to see so many couples like that, one couldn't help but think of it as being very true. I can't deny though that yes, there are people who seem interested in me which do make me feel like eh, am I that worthy of being liked? Unfortunately, I don't feel the same for them. Ah yes, fussy ol' me. If I die a single woman, you won't even wonder why.


My friend, who initially is against the idea of being attached, is slowly finding ways online to meet new guys. Then now she is persuading me to do the same too. Well, currently Im not harbouring any interest in any guy though I am admitting now that I do have a teensy bit of crush with the hdb officer which of course led me to having that strange weird dream. I mean he's such a nice and caring guy judging from his email responses over the last few months.  I did wonder prior to that dream on how he looked like when I passed by his office. Honestly too, when I see other guys recently, I get fleeting thoughts like hey, maybe he looks like this guy or maybe he looks like that guy. I also secretly hope that he emails me and asks me how I am and then saying his intention of wanting to be my friend but I dunno, dream on, maybe?


Well, love is unpredictable just as how life is also unpredictable. If God thinks that he wants to match me with that HDB guy, well, I hope He makes a good choice, hahaha. Yes who am I to judge Him.




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Monday, September 06, 2010

Life is Beautiful

How beautiful life can be, it's up to us. I picked up from a korean drama which Im currently loving. So much so, I ate kimchi, which is like their famous side dish like how Malays like their food with sambal belacan though people like me don't even like the taste or the smell of it, heh. Strange me.

Anyway, this past weekend, upon discovering a website where they put up all the episodes of Life is Beautiful, I had been spending a weee bit too much time watching them. Plus it takes a lot of time to download them as well :S But in between, I had been a good girl like doing laundry, cleaning the table top, throwing out the rubbish and running errands for my mum *grins* but of course, not without constant nagging to get out of the house and buy those things that my mum had asked me to get hours before.

I was supposed to have done more today like cleaning some parts of my room but I think will have to wait coz my stomach is so super freaking full just now because we met up with my aunt at Woodlands for dinner. Then we continued eating again when we reached home. So bloated now.


So without further delay, let me introduce to you......


Life is Beautiful

The show centered on a Korean family and their extended members like the grandparents, uncles and their better halves. It's not so melodramatic but it's pretty easy going. Yet, there are some drama moments where you actually sympathize with the characters and also dislike as well but the show also explains why they are behaving like that. For example, they feel hurt so it's natural that they are upset.


Im just amazed how much the Koreans emphasize filial piety. It's something we all should learn from because now, people hardly respect one another even to their own parents. I tell ya it's sad when I heard one kid shouting at the father and then when he was called out on how rude he was, he just dismissed it saying that oh, his father didn't care if he shouted at him or not. What a bratty attitude.


At last count there were 48 episodes. On youtube, I found a channel that also put up episodes of Life is Beautiful but only selected parts which happen to be my favourite parts too so Im not complaining...haha. Currently I have two favourite characters, Kyung Soo and Tae Sub. Kyung Soo could have done with a better hair cut but I can't get enough of his great physique. Even one writer commented how well he fills up a tank top..haha.


Okay Im off watching life is beautiful again...*smirks*




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Sunday, September 05, 2010

Pre Hari Raya

Yup I said I wanted to write yet another depressing entry but I will hold on to it. But anyway, just a brief summary of it, it's just the stupid utilities bill again that's giving me problems. Then last Friday, my mum wanted to go Arab Street and Geylang just to get the feel of pre Hari Raya with the bustling crowd and atmosphere. Of course that means spending money :S but I have yet to see how much damage is done. The only good thing out of it is that we only spent on the taxi fare once. My mum, despite being in her still unwell state after the surgery, endured bus and train rides to get to Geylang and then back home from there. 


The Arab Street part wasn't so crowded because when we went there, it was break fast time so most of the people had actually gone to nearby restaurants for their meal so we were left prowling the street for food. But perhaps it was good timing also because they actually gave us more food and some extra side dish as they were going to close shop soon..heh. So we had a good meal when we went home later on and I started blabbering that they were making me fat. Yes I can be super whiny and annoying though you can't judge me from these blog posts..hehe.

Oh yah, my mum also ended up buying for me a baju kurung or the Malay traditional dress for Hari Raya even though I didn't plan on getting one this year. But then again, every year I plan that way but I always end up getting a new piece just because my mum insisted on me. I don't want to get, fine, she will get for me..hah. It's a light blue one and yet again, she had to get one that looks a bit big on me but I can't complain because Im not small either :S For all you know, it follows my body shape but it's just me in denial. Perhaps on that day itself or when I get to wear it to go to someone's open house, i will wear it and take a pic. You will be surprised how demure I will look..haha.


I've got Hari Raya cookies all ready but ah, I don't know whether they can last UNTIL the day itself. My brother can be one hungry bear at break fast. In terms of food, a kind soul had offered to give me some delicious traditional dishes, what you call, must have food, on the day itself. But my mum still wanted to cook at least one dish. I don't want to trouble her but if she insists, I can't stop her. The only thing that is stopping her is my tardiness because Im just so not inclined in stepping into the market and buying fresh groceries :S Yes Im such a princess. But if push comes to shove, which my mum is good at by the way, then I will just charge in and get out asap.


Today I promise to vacuum the house (eurgh..) and clean out the remaining clutter in my room. That should keep me occupied for the rest of the day..besides watching a korean drama, malay drama and going to Woodlands to meet my aunt and collect even more Hari Raya cookies. I think my brother will be so happy coz more to munch on..the little munchkin.





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Friday, September 03, 2010

Rare Kind Souls

Singaporeans are known to be a complaining bunch even though they mask it as 'constructive' feedback. It's never about others but it's always about them and they hardly take the blame in order to save face. But I've always believed that among this complaining bunch, there will be some kind souls who lend a helping hand or are generous without asking anything in return. And while we 'enjoy' writing letters to the forum to air our views, why not we write complimentary letters once in awhile because of the rarity of such kind people.
 
I did and I am very grateful to the officer. I've never written a complimentary letter before...although I did write positive feedback on the feedback form regarding one of the waiters in a coffee bar because he was that good in customer service.
 
So if you have any encounters with such peope with excellent customer service, take the time to write them a letter of appreciation or write good comments on their feedback form. I did.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Weird Dream

I haven't been writing good things recently because of the turn of events in my life at the moment. And now I have to write yet another bad thing that happened to me but I shall reserve it for a later post. Oh by the way, if you see my posts are quite short, it's basically because Im blogging from work using my email account as a disguise..heh.
 
I had a weird dream yesterday. Actually, my dreams have always been weird but sometimes, it's just so..er..extra weird. Let me explain first the root of the dream. Ok for awhile, I had been corresponding with one of the staff from the housing board regarding the transfer of ownership. At first, it was very formal but it turned a liiiitle bit semi formal but not to an extent that it was so casual like friends. But I needed to sound sincere coz I had to tell my problems regarding the payment, the resecheduling and also my mum's condition.
 
I actually sent numerous email to this person named Mr Toh and after awhile, he was like 'Hi Rahayu' as opposed to 'Dear Rahayu' even though I was rather angry in my last email to him when no hdb officer came to my aunt's house and made us wait for nothing. Well at least he was also sincere in replying back that it was an honest mistake and that he did try to call me but got an engaged tone instead..which I was quite puzzled why that would happen. Anyway whatever.
 
So the thing was that, I thought it was kind of him to extend the date for quite a long time from May to August :S (go figure..but it's not my fault) and also made arrangements for an officer to come down to my aunt's place and then later to my own house when my mum returned back home. 
 
He was supposed to email me back the confirmed date and time for the appointment but he called instead and he sounded quite casual about it like oh, I knew him for some time. But then I think I sounded quite serious..heh..like 'yes?' which I think scared him a bit...haha. But that is how I sound like...when it's some official call or when I answer calls from work.
 
Oh yes, the dream. Yesterday, I walked past the hdb branch office where he is from and then casually thought how he looked like and if he was working at that point of time when I saw some of them working hard at their cubicles. And then I just HAD to dream about it *sigh* Actually as for me, if I were to see the guy beyond potential..er..guy friend..I tend to nitpick and I think I nitpicked on the way he speaks. Nothing wrong with the way he speaks though..but like I said, I nitpicked when I had this casual thought about him like hrm...what if we become friends? I didn't really think he spoke perfect English. And you wonder why Im still single.
 
So so...weird....the dream..especially when he was of a different race (Indian?!). Then the first guy, before he morphed into the Indian guy, gave me a yellow flower as I was passing by his cubicle. Don't ask what I was doing there. It's a weird dream.
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Why So Bothersome


Im being horrible. I feel like I am. No need to comfort me. OK I know you're thinking what is there to comfort. I should be scolded instead! My mum has a medical appointment this Friday but I don't want her to go. At least not this Friday. I don't want her to go to see the cancer specialist because it's just going to be one follow up after another and then she may also have to go for chemotherapy for her colon cancer. It's not at a critical stage now and they have removed the tumour but do you know the implications of chemotherapy? Apparently a lot! We will also incure a HUGE medical bill and my mum is also going to be very weak.
 
Chemotherapy is also a non guarantee that my mum's health will improve though it may lengthen her number of years.
 
This is all such a big headache for me. I know I blame myself because I could not afford my father's medical bills until he was hospitalised where he became so critically ill later. I don't know why I have to go through this dilemma again.
 
The only conclusion I can make of this is that I will not go for this time round but I will make a change of appointment to a much later date. No matter what, I still have to go but just give me time to think through this whole dilemma. If you were me, what will you do?

Long Weekend, A Little Rambling & My Lack of Gratitude

The day I discover IG filters It's almost mid week to August..argh. I am in the midst of a long weekend, which sadly will come to ...