Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Being Nearly Broke

Last week, I was not doing well financially to a point I felt like I have lost everything. It was difficult for me to come to grips with what could have gone wrong because I felt that last few months I managed to get it all together. Sure it was not perfect and there were some highs and lows. But to get to that position, I feel like such a freaking loser and there’s nothing I can do much about it. But what kept me going is knowing that life goes on and to take each day one at a time. I try my best to earn some money here and there from my little side business and instead of saving the money in full, I had to resort to using them to pay for food and other expenses to keep the family going. I don’t try to think too much about it because I just have to keep moving and not feeling sorry or depressed. Sure I can’t help feeling low but I just need to trust in God and pray to Him to ease this challenging situation.

There are times I feel certain things that happen in our life is to make us re-think our way of life and forcing us to make changes or sacrifices. Yes it does suck and that it fees like everything is falling apart. But slowly but surely, we have to come to terms with it. And living in the NOW. What can you do right now to make things more bearable. I know if I can focus on those small wins, it’s easier to cope with life’s challenges. At the same time, it gives me hope to rebuild my life, and trying my best not to face the same situation again.

Also I feel that not thinking too much about it helps to make it more bearable although I know I can’t really run away from my problem, haha. But I do know I’m already doing my best and as Long as I continue to keep my hopes and dreams alive, these would be mere obstacles. I still want to continue my studies and I still want to amass wealth for emergency. Keeping myself busy helps to distract too. Like going for workout classes, watching Netflix and making cards for my orders.

I don’t know how people can get their life together even when things weren't so rosy looking for them. But can say 90% of the time, they are on track. Why? They don’t get easily discouraged obstacles or distractions. They just basically focus on getting things done. Focus on the NOW.

I’ve just received my salary and I’m adopting some habits from the time I was nearly broke. I don’t know if it’s enough still to last until my next pay but I’m trying not to think too far. I just try to hustle my way and hopefully, things will work out better than it was before.

If you are caught in the same rut as me, all the best to you too :)

Sunday, September 09, 2018

Night Out at the Singapore Night Festival 2018

Some time ago, we had the Singapore Night Festival 2018 and it was interesting to see exhibitions revolving around the creative use of light in different colours and not just the typical white. Some were interactive and big in size where you had to manipulate the objects to create to turn on the light. There were also some that used recycled objects. As usual, these were popular and at the same time, captivating. While we didn't go to every exhibition, we still managed to visit some of them and it was quite a walk too, haha. But it was held over two weekends and the second weekend was more bustling as they had live performances and food stalls. But we were not so keen because it would be so packed and walking would be quite impossible among the crowds.

Here, I am sharing some pictures taken from the Singapore Night Festival 2018. 

Saturday, September 01, 2018

The Art of Falling in Love..And We're not Really Invisible to Others

Recently, I watched two coming of age shows on Netflix about finding love, who you really are, being in cliques and about dealing with stuffs that most of their age go through. It's a roller coaster ride and kinda makes me feel like I'm missing out a lot in life at this age haha. Today, I watched "To all the boys I've loved before" because I've heard talks about it being really good and a refreshing take on the lead being an Asian American.

But the storyline is not about being Asian and trying to fit in but rather, it's about finding love when you least expect it though somehow I kinda suspect that they would end up as a couple. It started off with the lead writing letters to her crushes and then putting stamps on the envelopes, not knowing that they would somehow would be released and her crushes would read them. They wanted clarifications even if the letters were written about the times they spent with each other way back then when they were much younger.

But one of the letters did bring about an unlikely pairing between the lead and the romantic interest who was a jock and had just broken up with his girlfriend who cheated on him with a college guy. He wanted to show that well, she missed out on him and then they made a contract to start this fake relationship. Of course, we all know how it ended but there was a curveball being thrown that made me think well maybe, they won't end up with each other.

Coz he wasn't her first crush who was actually her neighbour and former best friend until he dated her sister. He wanted her clarifications on the letter but always seemed to be shut off by her, poor thing though. He himself didn't think that she and that jock would end up with each other like she didn't seem to be her type anyway and how she seemed too nice to be with a guy like him. But that's the thing. We don't necessarily have to fit in a 'type' in order to go out with someone like you're assuming that, oh jocks would only date cheerleaders and not some random geeky girl from school.

The heart likes what it likes, right? Just like Magnus, a warlock, can end up falling in love and being in a committed relationship with Alec the Shadowhunters even though both the factions have quite a history, though not often pleasant. Sorry, shadow hunters reference.

But anyway, you could somehow tell that Peter, the jock, was slowly falling in love with her but she seemed rather dense to not notice. I did anyway, lol.

They made a pact to spend time with each other as part of being in this fake relationship but slowly, they opened up to each other more and more on things they don't share with people. For example, about how he felt when his dad left his family and finding out he had married and had a kid. For her, it was about her mum who had died when she was younger. That not each day passed by without thinking about her. She also opened up about how it affected her thinking about love and how she felt scared letting people into her life knowing that they would leave her one day, just like her mum.

Anyway, this isn't a review but rather my thoughts on it. I think that it is a nice movie overall and while it is quite a typical teenage love story but it is a little different too because of it is an inter-racial couple and that the lead is an Asian American. The book writer insisted on the lead being an Asian rather than a Caucasian, knowing how Hollywood just loves to change the settings to suit the masses.

But other than that, I like the little nuggets of wisdom as shared by the characters, both lead and supporting, and one that resonated most with me, is that we often think that we are invisible to people. Like we often expect people to understand us but are we also doing that to others, likewise? Do we actually stop to think why people treat us like that especially when you were best friends and then  soon after, it went downhill, and that you think the person was just being uncool with you. But have we also thought about our own actions and thoughts that could have contributed to this failed friendship?

As for the lead and her romantic interest, halfway through the movie, they got together but things quickly got sour because of the presence of the former girlfriend who tried to stir the pot as she was jealous of their relationship.  I was a little frustrated that she didn't want to listen to him out. He even went all the way to her house to explain what actually happened but she was not having any of it. 

Because she felt as though everything and everyone was against her but the truth is, when we close ourselves off, we don't realise people are reaching out to us but we keep blocking them off. Believe me, she was doing that a lot in the movie. I seriously pitied the first guy she ever loved and he was her neighbour so imagine the proximity and yet she kept refusing to talk it out with him. 

In reality, we often fear the worst. We let our minds be populated by negative thoughts even though saying the truth, and which often people just need to hear, may hurt. But it's still the truth and at the very least, it can help to clear the air.

The other learning point that I liked, which was also the main reason why he started to fall in love with her, was how she helped him to cope with his feelings towards his dad. That he might seem angry about the whole divorce thing, and that how his dad could actually start his own family and being seemingly happier. The truth was that you can be mad at someone but actually miss them too.

For the other movie called Alex Strangelove, well it is a little bit more crude and with coarse language, but I liked the ending. Of course it took him a long while to finally follow his heart's desire but again, I enjoyed seeing how  his face light up seeing the name on the screen and how he confessed that he actually liked someone else, while making out with his girlfriend, haha. Basically he was sick and tired of people assuming things about him and trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd as though he was not allowed to stand out.

In the process, he hurt the people he was close to and was getting close to because he could not accept the truth because of some thing that happened in the past. However, we got a happy ending where he looked at himself in the mirror and started to think that heck, this is me, take it or leave it. This is who I truly want to embrace....and promptly went in search for that one true love :))

Long Weekend, A Little Rambling & My Lack of Gratitude

The day I discover IG filters It's almost mid week to August..argh. I am in the midst of a long weekend, which sadly will come to ...