Showing posts from January, 2006


After watching the american top model for like so many times alreadi...sometimes they do give some pointers in regards to phototaking. but they dont have chubby cheeks like me and my high cheek bones are non existent. Still, it's quite a great photography technique if you could thrust ur chin out a bit to give the illusion of a elongated cheekbone.

here..let me demonstrate!

These were just taken in this morning as I was pondering into the mirror and trying to camouflage my chubby cheeks:

This is another take but like no difference like that..heh... ANYHOW... What I hate most is when my photos are taken when I am not aware of it. Okay, if i turn out perfect for every photo, that's fine. but for someone who has lived with a chubby neck all this takes a long time before I can perfect that 'see ma! no double chin!' This was taken in my last bdae in 2005..yupz..hate it..but no, I don't blame the photographer was supposed to be a candid shot of me when ope…

Before and After

Man...when I looked at my past photos in 2002 to 2003 when i had the most weight gain, I felt so err...disgusting. I mean..why cant a girl look pretty AND slim at the same time? heh..I can't pride myself on being slim now even, but I guess thank gawd I changed my vision in regards to how I wanna look. Actuallie, at the end of the day, it's not about how many guys you can attract, but how you feel about urself. I certainly didn't pride myself on being THAT size..but right now, even though I have reduced some weight..but the journey is still long and far ahead.

Guess the photo scrapbooking is doing me justice and injustice. Coz I can actually how i got bigger and bigger....Hey, let me go through the past with you with some snapshots i took from my album and the shots this year.


2003 Bdae in 2005Okay, in midst of 2005 i started going to the gym..but somehow, nearer to the biggest day of my least for that year....i got sick and gained back the weight i lost..GAH!end …

Part Time Maid


sometimes it is difficult for me to just go all out without any strings's not like I have a bad case of disappearing without telling anyone or having any probs with my family. but it does feel odd that in just 3 hours, my mum would have made call after call...just to make sure that I get pressurized to go home and not stay out too late. or she purposely make me go search for fast food or any other things like bread..which makes me go out of my destination with my friends or even a single get that thing. it reeks..badly. but what to do, being in this family, i Have to cope with the status of a part time maid. every time i go back from office, or field work..tired but still hanging on there..i have to go to the cold storage and buy back bags of groceries. sometimes i feel so 'married' that I dont think i even have to really find a partner, marry him and have ten children just to carry that load of groceries.

but what am i to do..this is, after al…

Like me as who I am..

has it ever occured to any girls that when you looked darn unattractive at some point of time coz u jz dont pay attention to what you wear? like's just nearby and you slap on whatever you can find (as long as it's not on the floor) and walk in that..coz no one is gonna look at you anyway.

i do that all the time especially on weekends when i dont feel like mixing and matching clothes. I usually just wear slacks and some hand-me-down looking t shirts that have been washed for like a gazillion times...and off I go to the nearby kovan where I would do some grocery shopping or any other shopping in a heartland shopping centre.

and no one pays me a second look....and it doesnt bother me coz I don't wish to be recognised anymore. although dammit...why must my supervisor be there again with his wife. anyway, that's another redundant story since i'm unfortunate enough to live in the same housing area as him.

but today, because I haven't quite finished doing my laun…


you know sometimes we go through life in regret...that we felt like we should have done something about it instead of nothing..and then suffer in silence. Okay...I am not gonna say much about it but we're all just humans..even the most powerful..the most influential people on earth..make mistakes. And what's worse..what if we die not knowing what could have happened if we just asked..or say what we wanted to say....and make things right, for once.

like I don't know if he ever felt the same way as I do..or if it's just a figment of my imagination. but i wished that I could have met him again instead of having search for him through scours of people on the streets, in the shopping trains..simply everywhere. If I didn't try to search for him, I'll unconsciously keep a lookout for anyone who closely resembles him....but if your heart has caught on to one, often it's hard to find someone who quite compare to him because in your heart, no one else can…

Crazy Week!

It has definitely been a busie week for me...and the battle of doing field work as part of my job..has begun. Was it a harrowing experience? I would say we had it toughest on the first day itself..I had no idea where the kids came from..haha. I mean, they were like all over the place and the noise level was sky high! Yeouch!! Unbelievable..I expected the K1 to be scared of us like shit..but they were more like..heh..who cares?! Gawd...running here and there....and numerous attempts to keep them quiet and in order was oh so hard! weird as it sounds, it was kinda fun too...haha. I mean, some of them were so intelligent and it was kinda nice making small talk with them. But was still tough! Anyway, with awesome team mates, then I guess my job was made a bit easier although we all were struggling trying to make it an organized screening session for them!!

So we have a driver allocated to us for the whole month for transportation purposes of our equipment. Still, I miss my o…

Embarassed Numerous Times by Salespeople..

Stand up for ur rights when you are a customer. Well, the customer service people are just like you and me..I guess we do have a fair share of ups and downs..but when some people choose to bring their anger and frustation to work. Why? It isn't nice to see a salesgirl..instead of serving the customer chose to hide in a corner of the shop and cry..or hang on the phone and cry while crying..maybe coz of relationship problem..I dunno. For me, if I am a customer, I would be thinking if I should carry on looking around the shop coz I dunno if she is capable of serving me since she's all wet at the eyes..or she's very emotional right now and Im scared to ask what will I do? Leave the shop..unless there's someone who attends to me in replacement..but I wouldn't feel good looking around while a staff is crying her heart out in a corner. Im sure we dont like people to see us crying I just feel that it's best to retreat somewhere outside the shop. Beca…

Dont Segregate us pooR customeRs

You know what..I somehow found myself to be a wee bit vocal especially when it comes to some people who just could not be bothered or are too pretentious. If it's just once a month or twice a month..i'll somehow wil forget about the issue in the next heh..typical behaviour. But to encounter almost 5 bad incidents is like...whoa..especially if just within the space of one a half BAD can that be..

Look...I know people have been rather hard on the service providers..and the media turned the table towards the service providers..and hear what they got to say. me..this is a give and take situation...not all customers are meanie or are born with not a single 'nice' feeling in their soul. And not all service providers are providing a good service as it is..Okay, I know also that we cant be DAT happy everyday and not have a single bad day. I do too...and it doesn't help that right now, my two major problems are people either looking down on m…

Why Cant We See Ourselves?

i know no one really reads my blog..haha..but what the heck..sometimes im shy to write stuffs here as I didn't wanna sound 'obvious' or what or be labelled a whiny cow..haha..!! anyway..nolah, I am not gonna whine. so far, I am not whining yet...BUT..i jz realise how my 'emotional streaks' have gotten worse to err...a head of dyed hair!

aiyah..its been like that for so long already and inborne in me already if I dont like about something or what someone says..i what some people say....easily 'offended'. I dont show it lah..but if I do...I will be so 'extra' sulky! Arggh....!! what's going on with you, rahayu?!!!

someone says something unpleasurable..and I'm like..thats it..I am officially angry! I am not gonna look at the person's face..I am not gonna look at anyone..I am just gonna look at the floor, and the floor and nothing but the floor! hahaha..yeah, something like that lah. Or I'll just give this ultra black face show…

Happy New Year!!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaPPPPPPppiie New Year! happy new, year..happy new yeaR!!

Yeah..'should all acquantaince be forgot..and never brought to mind?!!'

Personally, besides that song having serious grammatical errors, I think that it's a bit the lame lah everytime new year clocks in and the song just HAVE to be sung. Talking about lame..see what I came across just mere seconds ago

In other words, why csi:miami sucks was because of David Caruso...and to think that he came up with a list of it. I'll say...he's just jealous he's not in the show...

Anyway, a new year means a fresh new beginning right? Dont get in anymore financial mess..clear ur last year's debts..make sure u pay on time this time...don't get unnecessary loans or credit cards..just stay debt free! Ok, you don't have to pay the entire thing if you are running a little low in cash. So, make talking less on the phone and set a quot…