Monday, December 21, 2015

Learning to be More Tactful

In life, many of us have good intentions or at least we THINK we have good intentions when we decide to give advice to people who are struggling or need somebody else to tell them things they can't really see in moments of frustration or despair.

Alas, this is not always the case.

There are people who just want to let their problems be known to you but don't need to be told what to do because it's easier said than done. Of course in a way, we think that we are helping them with our suggestions but they may have tried and it hasn't been successful or they just think it's not really possible.

I think that it's best to keep an open mind. Everyone has problems, big or small, and it's a matter of how you face them upfront and learn to deal with them in ways that we can. But being bogged down with too many problems, our mind can get rather clustered with so many thoughts it's understandably hard to think through.

Yet, it's also best for us to put ourselves in their shoes and see it from their perspective. I've made a mistake and even though there were some things that I don't regret saying, I wished I could have been more tactful. When I tried to turn around and made it feel like I was the one facing these problems, I would feel upset with the comments too.

 I still think that I've not said much things that are offensive but you know there are times, people just don't want to listen and they simply want quick solutions and whether you're in it with them or not. The rest, they are not interested. I feel like that they should dig deeper and not rely on these quick fixes but you know, saying nothing is better than saying something for some people.

Because of this, I feel like I'm no longer compelled to say things to them unless they want to. Believe me, I have problems too, go through financial difficulties and so I can somewhat be more sympathetic towards them. However, I do not want to remain in such difficulties and I want them to pull through them like how I am slowly turning my life around but alas, for some people it's not as easy as it seems it is.

Therefore from now on, I shall learn to be more tactful if I feel like I still am lacking in this :(

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Sunday, December 20, 2015

My First Ever Trip to Batam, Indonesia


I am back!! I've never seen so busy during the Christmas period running my online shop, on top of juggling with my studies because apparently, they want us to sit for two tests just before they let us go for our two week break. But in between, I managed a very quick getaway, well technically, it was with my colleagues for our annual staff retreat. This time, I ventured to somewhere that is not in Malaysia. 

I went to Batam. I know you're thinking like almost every Singaporean shopping kaki has gone there but you see, I lead a protected life under the care of my mother who watches the news and get the impression that we live in a very dangerous world. Actually, she's partly right but we just need to be more vigilant. So you can imagine I faced such great resistance but somehow, she managed to come around it and let me go, provided I stay within the company of people, and not venture out myself. Like I would coz I'm a scaredy cat myself.

Again, it made me feel glad that I was born and bred in Singapore, no matter how much complains we have and stuffs, there are just some things we are light years ahead being a small yet efficient country. 

Food wise, the seafood dinner was okay but I didn't like the lunch at all. It was tasteless and when we walked by the kitchen as the toilets were nearby, it was filthy. Speaking of filthy, do you know how they discard the remaining food? We were actually in the middle of a man made lake in a hut so we are surrounded by water, and apparent HUGE fishes. Because they simply discarded those food, bones and all, right into the water and then gobbled immediately by those fishes. It was shocking, coz firstly due to the sizes, and then secondly, it wasn't very nice and unhygienic. Also, those food were not meant for fish.

I didn't buy many things although we did buy the kuih lapis, which was a layered cake, and very popular in Batam and after buying them, I realized why. It was cheaper and much softer and tastier.

Other than that, I spent my hotel night studying although I end up falling asleep because I was so tired from all the walking. I had to forgo the karaoke session held in the late evening in the hotel because I had to catch up with all my notes which I had brought along during the trip.

Whichever travel destination I go to, is surely an eye opener from the people, culture and everything else. Hence, I urge you to go beyond your country and see what the world has to offer. 

And of course, be safe.

Enjoy the pics below!


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Saturday, November 21, 2015

Taylor Swift Live in Singapore..Dreams Come True!

Taylor Swift is such a major MAJOR talent and rightfully so, because she knows what she wants and she goes for her dream without getting lost mid way amidst the fame, money and popularity. Infact she improves herself ten fold over time from that time she started playing in outdoors concert with a cheap looking banner overhanging the stage. 

And now she performs in big stages with a platform that can level up and rotate to thousands of screaming fans. Apparently, I am one of them too :D

The indoor stadium may be packed but my goodness, there were just as many disappointed fans as well who couldn't get their hands on the tickets because they sold out very fast! Getting in was hard but my ever resourceful brother (for once, actually..haha) actually opened up two computers at school and apparently, one of them put him in the waiting room while the other didn't. And it wasn't even 10 am yet where it would actually be the official time the tickets would be on sale online.

That was how hot she was, besides physically of course because she's so pretty!

Even though she had switched off her genre from country pop to totally pop, she is one savvy business woman who did not lose her fans overnight from the switch. In fact, she wins over even more fans in her quirky ways which she dubs as 'taylurking' and through other ways like she's totally having fun in life and we all want to be her friends. 

I actually didn't want to get her tickets (I know, silly me right) but based on my brother's persuasion, he insisted we get them because he wanted to watch her sooooo bad. She came to Singapore before and this would be her 4th visit and he was determined that this would be the year that he would be able to watch her live. 

So it's actually more like his dream came true :)

We enjoyed her show thoroughly and were whopping through out and even though I don't know the words to many of her songs..oops...but I sure know her catchy song Shake it Off!! Sue me if I don't, haha.

She's also such an  inspiration for the younger generation and for people like me too. I don't see her star dimming any time. Infact, it just gets brighter and brighter.

Enjoy the pictures below! Click to get a larger view.

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Monday, October 26, 2015

How Life Can Teach Us to Be More Appreciative

A friend of mine has been sharing quite a lot of things on Saturday, which isn't like her at all, because while she does share things with me, most of the time she doesn't and I appreciate the fact that she wanted to share her personal story that changed her perspective on life. I couldn't believe that she went through that and having gone through such a state of mine before years ago, I completely understood how one could be so emotionally wrecked when you feel like you're going to lose your loved one.

For my friend, I'm glad the ordeal was over but it clearly left a big impression, from the conversation we had and how it changed her even though in my opinion, she is one of the best people I've ever met. But as told by her, she learns from everyone and sees strength in people when clearly, those very people have doubts about their own abilities and what they're capable of doing. 

But life as it is, may result in us forgetting and appreciating what we have and then keep harping on those things that bring us down and without us doing anything about it because of ego, personal beliefs or whatever. Our situation will forever be stagnant when we don't do anything about it. I know of people who lead a hard life and getting by with just the basics, still doing ok and not needing financial help from other people in general, because they try their ways to get public assistance which is good. I did go through that period too and it was hard sitting down there being interrogated but I understand what they're doing is to know more about our situation and how they can help. Also, since they're using public fund, they have to actually be accountable for it and that they're rendering help to those people who really need it.

I understand that the paperwork can be a killer but we want help and we shouldn't be letting our pride get in the way. Other people can't forever render financial help to us because they ownselves have other commitments too. Also, it's their hard earned cash and God knows how hard for them to save those stash. It's also a reminder for me so as far as possible, I try not to borrow and learn to supplement myself with a second income source.

While she was sharing her stories, I couldn't agree more that time is precious. The time spent with our friends, our family and on our own things, once it's's gone. You can't get back time so we shouldn't be wasting time worrying how we are not as attractive or as rich as certain people. The important thing is to be our authentic self and to keep the faith in ourselves that we can get through the hard times and come out of it stronger and raring to go. Also, to use time wisely on things that matter more to us.

I went through personal crisis many times and one of them, still clearly in my mind was how dead broke I was around this time of the year just last year actually. I've spoken about this many times in my blog posts because that was how strong the impact it had on me. I personally don't know if the money that I have saved up so far will last me until my December bonus because life can be unpredictable but whatever it is, I am trying my best to ensure I am able to sustain myself and the fam until the next pay day. I know I still owe people money, whether as a personal loan, credit card debt or bills so it is a balancing act for me and there are times I worry, that the money I'm holding, is truly mine.

I want to make my life better for sure but it sure isn't easy so I am still trying my best to keep it all together and settle as many things as I possibly can without falling back on hard times. 

But other than that, I find that as I'm growing older and approaching mid thirties next year, I don't let negative thoughts affect me too much. The point is, I don't know how long will I be around and I can't just sit around mopping about oh, how unfair life is and how I should be looking like that and not like this. What matters most, is how I feel about myself and doing what is best for myself too.

 For sure, anything can happen and we don't want to face regret and bidding for time which will slowly slip away from us.

Let this be a continuous journey of learning and while we're at it, not to forget about the joy of living and to have a sense of gratitude if we're still lucky enough to be alive and face another day. Don't waste this chance.

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Monday, October 12, 2015

Taking Credit and being Blessed with Your Looks

I'm typing this post out on my phone as my laptop has been sent for repair due to the cracked screen which technically happened a year ago but I never got round repairing it. It would cost me $400 plus but apparently the price seems to have dropped when we went there last Saturday .  Still, it's actually costly. Now you know why u delayed for so long.

But it was frustrating nevertheless to not be able see half the screen. Also the damage becomes worse as more pixels die from the cracked screen. Well, I'm not looking forward to forking out  $200 but I have to accede because my brother is willing to share the costs with me now that he's working part time. That means to say I have to work harder to earn more money to repay myself back the amount.

This week was the bomb because I earned $100 which is so rare and I'm so happy for it. I stashed it away to keep for rainy day for the next two months as I don't want to be dirt poor like last year around this time.

Again anything can happen so it's always best to stash away some cash when we can.

While I enjoy running this online shop, it can be quite sad when people want me to remove the pictures or the blog posts for whatever reason. But it's basically because they don't want to be made to feel like they didn't make it. That or they want to take credit for it.

I usually accede to their demands but it's sad because I can use them to promote my business so I gain more orders which is also a form of free advertising for me to attract potential customers. It also serves as my personal portfolio. Oh well.

But usually such requests are rare so I'm still ok with it.

Recently I watched this short video on a woman who was badly disfigured by some one who was out for revenge for turning him down. Despite the unfortunate incident that left her disfigured for life, she used it as an opportunity to help others. Initially she contemplated suicide but a kind nurse turned her towards God and she turned her life around.

We often take for granted how fortunate we are. After watching this video, I felt like I am not thankful for the way I look or towards my whole physical being.

While I appreciate the way I look, there are times I feel rather dejected. But now, more often than not, I tell myself that I should be blessed with the way I look. If people can't appreciate the same,  then too bad. I should aim to look and feel good for myself and not for others.

I'm not doing it to attract guys but it's about how I feel. Yes sometimes I do feel like if I were more attractive the gym guy wouldn't have wasted anymore time and just talk to me instead of just taking stolen glances which believe me, makes my heart skip a beat. I think that he's beginning to pay more attention to my presence but when I'm not looking or at least he thinks I'm not looking, heh.

There are so many other slim and prettier girls than me but if he chooses to focus his attention to me, I feel so honoured. I thought he wasn't at the gym today and felt a tinge of sadness but life goes on. But an hour plus later then I saw him,lol. I'm so blind. So many beefy guys around today who blocked my view of him. Thank goodness I did weights today so eventually I did see him parked right in front close to the mirror.

Still waiting for the day he talks to me or just say hi. That would be awesome.

Ok, I shall end my post here,sleep awhile and continue with my orders.

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Thursday, October 08, 2015

Bittersweet Ending to My Diploma Course

How could I miss this post?! I actually didn't write about how I got my results, now come to two weeks ago, and I'm so happy! I didn't get  any C again although I know that the important thing is to basically get the modular certificate, after going through project after project and test after project, often within a week or so of each other. In other words, we survived! Of course, there was also an exam that we had to take at the end of the course and to me and perhaps some other people too, it was the absolutely last chance to pull through, just like the final projects from other modules.

Some guy in my class was like saying why some people are so driven to get distinctions or do very well when the important thing is that we pass. But he would always be the most emotional one whenever we get back the results, verbalizing his happiness or his disappointment.  While at the end of the course we want to ultimately get it together and hold the diploma in our hand, the little achievements along the way are no mean feat as well. Juggling work, school and family (and business for some people, aka me..haha), is very challenging and to come out of it unscathed, it is also a personal achievement to us. 

This module was particularly challenging for me because I suck at projects and I barely passed for the tests. Suddenly I got swarmed by so many orders, I don't know where to begin, lol! But I am grateful for those opportunities and the upcoming ones as well that I got from Carousell and I am not going to give up this entrepreneurial spirit in me, just because I have to juggle with many things in life. It's just part of an on-going learning process, even as adults.

So it is going to be a bittersweet memory for me, as I am stepping into the last module. Seems like yesterday when my brother, then a newbie as well, accompanying me to the lecture room that has since then become the place where I absorb knowledge (or get mentally lost somewhere too, haha). But like life itself, expect some changes and we have to learn to adapt to it. Few months ago, my manager announced that she would be leaving the office for the headquarters. Now, the principal is also going to change to a new one. So the office will go through several changes as well. 

Perhaps, getting this diploma will open the door to more opportunities. I also look forward to doing my best for this last module and to know that one of the modules will be taught by my favourite  lecturer again, is like icing on the cake. He's such a funny, goofy and warm person and he draws from his experience as a part-time student himself. Yet, he's serious about us getting the most out of his class and he's not afraid to voice out his unhappiness if someone's being rude because to him, he will respect the person if the person respects him as well. It's just how it works. He just wants us to not waste the opportunity of coming to class tired especially after work and then treating it as though it's not of importance to us by being disrespectful when other people in the class are more keen to learn.

In other words, he's coolest lecturer of all! 

I know that this module will not be my final journey in developing my skills. I will continue to learn as learning is an on-going process and 5 years down the road, you will read about me pursuing a part-time course for a degree, if God willing :)

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Sunday, October 04, 2015

I Want to be Grateful But Sometimes, it's Hard

Nowadays I try to tell myself that I should be grateful for things like having some money before the next pay day instead of being completely broke, because believe me, I have been through days like those in the past, most recently towards end of last year. I also want to be grateful as well that even though I'm still struggling with weight issues, I don't want it to take precedent of my life like it's over if I don't get a certain weight. I want to be grateful that at least now, I have better choice of clothings compared to my younger days where getting a skirt means buying from Marks & Spencer or Robinsons which were then very expensive for someone who didn't earn that much. 

Now, I can wear skirts from H&M too and choose nice tops although until now, shopping for clothes is not my area of interest. I'd rather shop for pretty patterned papers so I can make pretty cards and sell them to make a bit of income, hehe.  But my mum seems to take over this shopping enthusiastically though :s

I still want to save more for rainy days without having to dip into them every now and then. I also want to reach my ideal weight. It's more and more seems very daunting and the haze thing isn't really helping because I can't walk and you know, eating lesser but with lesser exercise, doesn't come up to much. For the next two weeks, I am  planning on walking as I see the haze kinda clearing a bit and I also see people jogging as well. Also, school is starting soon and I am going to need the energy and not want to look as though I put on weight when I see my classmates.

I do am trying my best to accept my body as it is right now because it is not its fault for becoming in this state and I want to make even more effort for the last three months to lose some weight. I know it still won't be my ideal weight but at least there's progress. I also don't want to fret over it too much as there are more pressing issues than just worrying about that extra flab on my tummy. Health is of course important and as long as I am following a healthy lifestyle, and putting in extra effort, I am positive that the weight will just drop off before I know it.

But until now, I want to continue to be more confident and more accepting of my body and do what is right for it and not abuse it any longer. The progress may be slow but we'll get there. Love yourself first because you are worth it. I am grateful that I can fit in clothes better than previously and slowly, but surely, that annoying tummy flab will be gone. If it doesn't completely go away, life goes on. I also want to be grateful that I am continuously making as much effort as I can, stashing money away so that I don't come to a point I'm only left with $30 to $50 and face sleepless nights thinking how am I going to feed the family the next day. 

Yes, as mentioned, I have gone through dark days for being obese and completely broke. I am keeping my promise intact that I will continue to do what it takes to stay healthy (like drinking green tea for a less bloated tummy, eurgh..) and cutting down on buying things unnecessarily when I could use whatever I have first. I do feel a tinge of jealousy when some people get more orders than me until they have to stop orders while I'm like self promoting almost daily. But, I still get orders, though not as much as them, and for this, I am grateful. 

There are many motivational speakers or even inspiring people that have gone through tough times and grateful that they are still here, being given the chance to live again, even though they have lost up to three limbs. They have gone on living life to the fullest. While initially they were in shock and disbelief but over time, they have accepted the situation because to them, this is not the final deal. Life still offers them many opportunities that even able-bodied people struggle to do or refuse to do. 

We have our struggles and I know other people too, have their struggles. It's not up to us to judge them thinking oh, they could have done this or done that. But really, we're not in their shoes so we don't know how it's like and our situation can be so different from them. Instead, we should focus on being more kind and compassionate instead of always thinking about how we can never be as slim or pretty like other girls or as rich as some other people who can go on holidays on a whim.

Be grateful and aim to always do our best in whatever we're doing and to make each day better than the  previous :) It's hard but we can do it.

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Monday, September 28, 2015

The Shock, The Horror...

Yes, shock shock horror horror (thumbs up if you could get the song reference)..I, as usually, would wanna see that big guy in the gym that Sunday afternoon but planning on laying low, in case I appeared as Little Miss Stalker or aunty-like gym goer.  I walked past the weights area, took a glance and I couldn't see him and what I saw was like this guy in red singlet with two rather big tattoos on his biceps doing the deadlifting (is that what you call it, I dunno..something like that) who stood out with his tatts.

So, okay..maybe he's not around. No biggie (like real) and I went to check my hair and appearance in the gym toilet before making my way back out. Took a sip of water from the water cooler and then started to make my way to the elliptical trainer and OH MY FREAKING GOSH.....

That guy...with the red sleeveless singlet...and the two tatts....belongs to HIM!! My gym crush!!

How can I not spot him. He was looking my direction, I guess he wass thinking eh, the aunty is here, lololol...

But yah, reality check, he has tatts now :( and why I didn't think that his tatts were there all along were because I've not seen them before and believe me, I've seen those biceps worked multiple times, heh.

He had always been wearing mostly white tight fitting shirt, coz he's pretty big so pretty much all his shirts would be like that, but I would have noticed them even when covered up when he flexes them or through the sheerness of his shirt.

Then I started debating in my mind. Should I continue with my crush on him on the pretext of having him as my imaginary boyfriend, based on those tatts I've seen, or am I just being paranoid and being judgmental against people with tatts. My own good friend has a small tatt on her hip and she's still the same ol' nicest person I know.

Plus, it's not as if I am going out with him or something and have no intention either. So I thought heck, those tatts seem like a dealbreaker and possibly a sign that I should quit crushing on him.

But I dunno. Trust me, I do want to not be so engrossed with this guy anymore because he seems to be more and more vain to me. The new tatts on his biceps, that looked like tribal designs, kinda cemented that fact, like he's super proud of them.

Still, I'm like still concentrating on my own workout because that is the main reason why I'm here for and looking at the rest of the girls, obviously younger and prettier than me, all dressed up in sports gear and in full concentration, I wanna be like them too. Not being overly consumed about that guy. That change of thought jolted me as I re-focused although months of crushing on him, I can't just forget about it in a snap.

I still kinda briefly take stolen glances to see his whereabouts but lesser. Once, I was at the abs machine and as I was using it, suddenly he came and stood infront of me as he had this circuit thing going on where he would use the abs machine, lift dumbbells and proceed to the weights machine before going back to this abs machine.

Why do I know all this, lol.

At first, he was checking his phone as he stood waiting (I didn't really look at him but I'm kinda of an expert at looking but not's a girl thing) then he was looking at me to see if I'm done. I would have done more but yah, it's kinda scary being waited like that, lol..and I stood up, wiped the seat like I always do if got people about to use coz I don't want them to sit on my butt sweat.

So what's my conclusion of this tatts commotion? I dunno...maybe my admiration is less although it will be quite fun to have a friend like him coz it's like so! As if with or without tatts, it would make a difference coz I doubt he will ever talk to me, just like everyone else in the gym. The girls have taught me one thing but even before that I have concluded WHY I'm in the gym in the first place, when I could have spent my time doing my favourite activity, napping, that I'm here to stay healthy and possibly lose some weight, and not prowl over some guys at the gym.

Although the motivation to go has died a bit though, lol.

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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Race to Weekend cum Birthday Celebration with F1 2015

My last birthday celebration on Friday was so unique because for the first time, I got to go to the F1 Grand Prix or the Night Race 2015. 


We would have gone earlier but it's always the case of not having enough moolah even though come to think of it, for the price we paid for the cheapest ticket, it would have been worth it. But with my brother's persuasion, since he would be paying for his own since he's earning his own moolah now from his part-time job, there was no way he could give up this chance. And so I did and it was such a thrilling experience :)

It wasn't the actual match but rather, the practice run and yet, we enjoyed every single moment of it. Of course it was later quite tiring because we were often walking around in the enclosed areas and even though we didn't catch many acts in between as we got hungry and went out..hehe, the best part was catching Pharrell Willliams live. Yes, THE Pharrell and he was so energetic on the stage and so kind to let lucky audience members join the stage with the young men, young ladies and even children. 

So how was the race? Gosh, they were so fast! Catching them on pictures were a challenge. Hence, why you would only see blurry pictures or the tail of the car way way way up the track. I was always wondering how the heck they maneuver the tight spaces after speeding and then breaking in time to negotiate the turns. Hence why there were experts, lol. Oh, if you didn't know, someone ventured out into the tracks where the cars were zooming and it took the racer, who eventually won the race, to spot the intruder. I saw many marshalls and security people and yet, one guy managed to stroll in.

Go figure.

So yah, next year they would be tightening the security by having more marshalls and higher gates.

Oh yes, about the race, I was so excited about the cars zooming past us that initially I went 'wah! wah! wah!' up to a point, my brother was asking me if I was going to say that for every car that raced past.


We ended the night watching Pharrell Williams performed for an hour and a half as mentioned earlier, he was really good. We watched from quite far behind because many people were already crowded infront so we mostly watched from the giant screens. I could see him on the stage but yah, he was still too far. 

Going back, we had to brave the crowd expectedly, and I would have been lost as to where to turn and where to get our transport back home if not my brother. Trust me, I'm clueless when it comes to directions, lol! It was really hard to see because of the crowd that were going out at the same time. They actually opened up the race tracks to allow the crowds to go through and since it was the tracks, you know what would happen in the next instant. Many many selfies! Not just us, but other people as well. 

But patience was a virtue throughout our F1 walkabout going from one place to another via the MRT underpass and they actually stopped the escalators and hence there were a lot of stair climbing, which was also why we looked so tired in the picture. I believed I would have burnt my McDonald's dinner by then, haha.

Oh, SMRT and SBS Transit were kind enough to extend the timings so we managed to get a train back home which wasn't crowded at all because most people took from the City Hall MRT station. We would have hopped on that train as well but we were nearer to Clark Quay MRT station, thankfully. Of course we still had to walk some 10 to 15 minutes back home but the night was cool and we were still excited about our night :)

Enjoy the pictures below!

Our pass and lanyard is inside! Our ticket to the F1 walkabout

One of the entrances to the walkabout

A race was taking place, but not the actual race cars

This was the best picture, trust me! lol..

Someone so happy he finally went to the F1 walkabout :)

Taking a break in the Esplanade. Thank God for aircon.

Our F1 journey ends here, sweaty face and all :)


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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

My Money Rant

I had a craving for Sogurt brand yoghurt for some time already even though I had the rival brand Llao Llao pretty recently too, bought by my brother. I admit that the yoghurt is rather pricey, especially when they go by weight and as controlled as I was in squeezing out the yoghurt, as it was DIY, and then putting in controlled amounts of toppings, it still come out to be pretty expensive. I don't know how those other people, who defo put in more yoghurt and toppings can eat in peace while in my heart, I'm like gosh, how did it come out to that price?

However, if you ask me, it was er...worth it for what I got? But I wouldn't have it like a weekly treat but a monthly treat. It would have been a killer in my wallet if I have it too often.

You know just now in my wallet, I had $70 and then now I'm left with $12. The lunch and the yoghurt that I had just now, easily cost me $10.00 and that's for my own only. After that, groceries..okay, this one can't escape and I also bought a magazine for $3.50 because it was their 21st birthday and they had plenty of giveaways for this issue. Just so you know, I seldom buy magazines nowadays even though my favourite magazine was only $3.50 compared to the other names. It's also my mum's birthday so I can't come home empty handed so what I got was some food which came up to $23.00. Since it didn't come with a drink, and she wanted to drink something ice-y, I got for her a bubble tea that cost $3.00.

Probably you're thinking, why am I telling you all this. Except for the fact that it was my mum's birthday and also I had this craving for frozen yoghurt, I wouldn't spend this much in a day. Close maybe, but not the point I'm left with money that is probably going to be used to top up my ez link card for travel.

A frugal family would probably just cook a simple birthday meal and buy a small yoghurt tub from the supermarket. But it's my mum's birthday and I can't tell her to cook the meal. And I didn't have the yoghurt for some time already so it's justified. Even though admittedly I was pretty bummed at how much I had left, it left me thinking how other families cope when things are so expensive. And how some other families can afford to eat out quite often and buy groceries that cross that $50 mark even. But I can't judge. For all I know, that amount of $100 over they spent on groceries, would have been for their monthly or weekly expenditures depending on how big their family is. And the families I see in the restaurant eating, it could just be a monthly family bonding thing for them too to celebrate an occasion or just because they had received their salary and what better than to treat the family after a month of hard work.

So we can't judge. But I still think that it's also important to spend within our means and to not spend it for now only because we still need money in the future. I often hear people saying that well, I spent most of my salary already this week. So I'm not going to spend for the whole of two weeks. Erm, hate to break this to you but you still need moolah to survive that next two weeks. Otherwise you will just be living in misery for not being able to get even the most basic necessities. 

I've had my financial struggles, most recently last quarter of 2014 and the feeling was like, eurgh. My online business was pretty slow and every day I was begging and begging to God to give me sales so that I could tide over financially for the week. The salary I received, after giving my mum cash and then paying the bills, could not sustain for long given how things can be quite expensive here. 

In the end, I received some advanced cash but not for me, it was payment for something at work and I secretly used the money. I did  pay back when I received my bonus in December and although it was still quite a significant amount to return, if it wasn't for that cash advance, I would struggle BIG time. I do hope I don't have to do that again this year so I've been pretty good in controlling my expenditures, although yes it still suck when I have days like how I described above, where I'm left with this much only after having a certain amount in my wallet.

Again, I want to say that money isn't everything. Sure, it is important but I don't want to like be so obsessed with it that, true story, I would keep on calculating how much I have left and how much I will have, sometimes throughout the bus or train journey. As long as the money is sufficient, good enough but again I won't be complacent and will work hard to promote my online shop to rake in some sales.

This year, I actually jumped onto another free platform and while the sales are quite sporadic, I receive queries and eventually orders. So I don't have to solely rely on facebook anymore. I have yet to get to the stage like some people who would write on instagram on how they feel bad about rejecting orders because they have not much time because most of these people, do it on a part-time basis like me, while juggling a full time job. My thought was, wow...lucky you. Their social media presence made such impact. I only ever had to close my shop once due to overwhelming orders last July but that was just a one-time thing. But that was also because that month was intensive as I had several school projects going on too.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world, families struggle to make ends meet especially when they live in war torn countries and they have very little money for daily necessities and their own and children's medical expenses. Due to lack of food and proper hygiene, they often get sick especially the children and they don't have enough to buy medicine at the pharmacy, because they need the money to buy food supplies like rice. If they get to buy these necessities, it's sad to see how little they can buy which they have to ration carefully so that they have food to eat for the week.

Other children crave for electronic goods and most time, their parents would buy for them with no qualms as long as they pass their exams. For these children, the situation can become so bad that they are the ones going out to work because their parents don't earn enough to support the family.

I'm not saying all this for you to go all zen and cut down mercilessly on all things possible. What I'm saying is to spare a thought for your future and other people who barely have food to eat and clean water supplies. Don't go on a spending rampage whenever you have money and be completely broke the next moment. You can buy the latest make up collection from Urban Decay or the latest gadget but make sure  you still have enough money for food, and if you have a family, to put food on the table and also to save for future because don't think that well, you can just cut down by spending lesser or none at all. ANYTHING can happen and you still need money to survive.

Okay enough rant about money here. Every individual is different and had different needs. But everyone needs to learn to make more informed choices instead of just blindly following the trends and then hurt their own pockets later on. Let's be wiser and spare a thought.

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Monday, September 21, 2015

A Day at Macritchie Reservoir & ALIVE Museum

This is a looooong overdue post and I'm so freaking lazy to update it because there were so many photos taken and editing would be a b*tch. The thing is, I don't really fancy taking a lot of pictures and one of the top reason is because of that, lol! But I wasn't the one taking these photos. It's just my boss was so trigger happy that day :s and me and my other colleague literally had no chance to run away and if we ever did, we would be called back. The things we do.

It was Youth Day and unlike other youths who were having a whale of a time not being in school, this year we had our EAS day and the other schools in the same cluster would go for a learning journey. First up, we would take a walk at Macritichie Reservoir (Seriously don't know how to spell that)  and I had a really pleasant walk on this boardwalk. Seriously, the place had changed so much that I actually wouldn't mind visiting it. Coz the last time I went there, it was nothing but traumatic because I had to run the cross country and OMGEEE, I never suffered so much in life! At least physically.

Anyway, at first it was just mainly phototaking with the group members whom I don't know a single one of them. But yah, we talked a bit. But then it was just me and my music walking on the boardwalk followed by the nature trail. 

We ended much earlier than expected but had to wait awhile for the lunch to arrive. So we sat down in the shelter and I talked with my colleague and another colleague from another school, talking about the elections and how she would be doing her duty for the first time. At that point of time, we didn't know when the elections would be around but it was definitely coming. Update, it is over and I was again involved, and would spare that for another post. Gosh, so much to write, lol!

It was a very relaxing walk in the nature, and of course, I was a wee bit scared because I didn't want any snakes or monkeys to pop up from nowhere. It was by no means, a straight terrain, with its natural bumps and ridges, it really was quite a work out. Yes, I do want to come back again.

After being under the blistering sun, we took a bus ride to Suntec City and proceeded to the Alive Museum. I came out barely alive, thanks to the shutterbug aka my boss :s I would say that it was fun taking those photos and my body had to contort to different positions and for the life of me, I cannot be in character. 

How can I still be smiley when I'm about to be eaten by a crocodile? Hrm?!

It got pretty boring half way but seeing my other colleague who was so much older than me having fun and being in character (unlike me...) and so sporting, I just had to keep up with her spirits.

After that, we chilled out at Coffee Bean nearby and I treated her coz I had extra moolah that month since it was also THE bonus month. It was just a pat on the back that we were finally FREEEE from the clutches of our boss.

This would be a photo heavy post but enjoy the pictures below!

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Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Year Older..Hopefully Wiser?

So, I celebrated my birthday at the stroke of midnight with the family starting with cake cutting, which I bought it for 50% off, hehe. I never bought a cake at such a good discount especially for a 1kg cake. Usually, at most it would be 20%. And I didn't even pay for it. My mum did, knowing that I dislike buying birthday cake because it's such a waste of money, with the price tag for all the cream and fluff. 

The rest of the day went fine and me almost falling asleep at work, hehe..because it was a pretty quiet day since  there were no pupils and very few teachers around as it was PSLE listening compre. Most of the students who took the PSLE had gone home. And me doing the mundane task of processing payments, I almost fell asleep several times. 

However, I received some pressies and they're so pretty! I didn't like make it known it was my birthday or something but I felt so touched my colleagues were aware of it. The fact that I'm getting older and not younger kinda changed the direction of it where celebrations used to be a big thing when I was growing up. However to me, it still ought to be celebrated whether in small or big ways, because it means that God has given you the opportunity to see yet another wonderful year to pay it forward and make the best of life.

That day was especially sweet because I received some money from last minute orders, but nevertheless, I tried my best to do them. I was thinking maybe it was God's way of giving me some cash to help me tide through financial difficulties, if there is because I am adamant not to let last year's episode where I was totally cash strapped around this time of the year. Also, I received some birthday cash of which one was totally unexpected and kept them in the cash box, ang pow still intact. Even though I did spend some moolah for papercrafting this week, aka, my hobby and also as supplies for my current and future orders. It's sooooo difficult having to scour and make numerous decisions while in the shops because I want to make informed buying decisions to put the money that I have to good use.

I know they say that it's ok to spend on the things you really love and cut mercilessly on other things, like for me maybe money on shoes, bags, clothings and make up where generally, women my age go gaga over.  But yah, I still go to save for the future and feed my family.

I was also thinking hard about buying a new mascara, like I needed another one, lol..but yah, make up has the ability to make me feel good about myself and I don't have to put on a thick layer to boost up my confidence. Just a tinge of blush and a sweep of mascara on both eyes can have an impact on the outside and the inside. Make upis not something where I'm willing to throw quite a significant amount of money, because while I love make up, I'm not a die hard fan especially when the bigger brands do not come cheap. That is why I'm so happy I got a brand new mascara from my colleague and yah, saved me some money from buying yet another tube, haha. 

My birthday wish this year was a rather cheeky one where I wish the guy in the gym would like talk or say something to me, a brief one is also suffice, lol! Am I so desperate for his attention? Heck, no. Okay, maybe.. But at least it makes my admiration for him for the last few months, not go to waste. Again, I'm not expecting anything out of it because I'm not looking for a relationship but if I can score his friendship, OMG, to die for. 

I would say I'm wiser now because rather than just being a deer in the headlights, trying to be like everyone else, racing to find a life partner for fear of being alone in future, I still think that relationships are not for everyone and most definitely not for me. I know of people who are still single and are older than  me and yet, they're still alive and standing. Life's not over, you know.

As for the wish, it's too cliche always wishing for more money because it's not the bottomline for everything in life. The thing about money is being wiser in how you utilize it and making it grow, rather than just thinking about it. Also, I don't know why and how, everytime I wish for that, pretty soon, money runs out :s 

But seriously, all I want for this new year in my life, is to simply be wiser and kinder to people around me. We will go through hard times but we will also go through good times. I want to be able to come out stronger through those hard times and treasure those good memories. What I've been doing this past year is to print my photos and have it captured inside my album and stuffing it so much, I think I need to buy a new one, lol. 

I know too that I'm not getting any younger, looks wise, although I secretly feel like I still want to look youthful but not so youthful I look like a teen. I was griping about my hair last Sunday like how I wished it was longer like before and I totally hated how the ends curved out as it grows. This week, I don't know how but somehow my hair looked better (I guess it heard me complaining, lol!) and my skin looks brighter even though I didn't change my skincare routine. But as long as I strive to be happy in life, take good care of my skin, maintain a healthy lifestyle, the youthfulness is a given. I hope.

Oh yes, how did I end off my birthday celebrations? By watching Pharrell Williams perform live! Whoo-hoo!! More on that in the next post :)

Meanwhile, here's me with my birthday cake and some pressies. Yay!

Me and 50% birthday cake

Ang Pao or Red Packet $$$

Birthday Pressies

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Sunday, September 13, 2015

The Ideal Life..Does it Make us Happy?

I've been watching this indie movie (glad I haven't given up this hidden interest) and while i used to watch a lot of pardon me, crap, but I felt that maybe I should give this movie a chance. In short, if the actors hot, why not, lol!

That aside, overall the movie is sweet. There's pretty lengthy talks like some sort of advice such as you don't marry for the sake of marrying someone that you think will give you the idea of a perfect blissful marriage life, if he or she is not going to give you the happiness. Okay, it's a bit more complicated than that but he thought that by marrying her, her can finally have his own restaurant western-chinese fusion business because her father owns a successful restaurant empire where he's working as a line chef. And she simply wants companionship but they're not perfect for each other. He has someone in mind who is too self-centered and for 20 years, he was crazy over this person ever since young.

Well, both of them finally realized that they're meant for each other, and like hello, who cares what others think when what is more important is that you can choose to take action on things or choose the people that make you happy. Of course, there is ups and downs, but you are willing to face the trials and tribulations together, and that's what matters most.

That brings me. I know most ladies want to settle down and have a nice little family and I've known people who went through lengths looking for the right partner, face multiple disappointments, and finally they've found someone that brings them happiness. And I must admit when I first see their life partner or who they're about to marry, I'm like, did your standard drop or something? I mean these ladies mix around with many handsome guys that one can't help but be envious. That you just get mind blown that they choose to settle down with someone who is of average looker and can be a little on the heavier side but who end up winning their hearts. 

So like that I got no chance of getting to know that oh-so-hunky guy at gym, which I later conclude that he may possibly have a girlfiend (since every break he will be on his phone, unless he's checking stock market) coz it seems to be like a whatsapp screen. But don't care, he will remain my imaginary boyfriend, lol.

So back to the movie. Sorry, every Sunday, I often sidetracked with tales from the gym. 

At some parts, it seemed pretty preachy and I know they were friends back then but they met again after 20 years and instantly got drawn to each other, except that small incident where he got mad that his name was forgotten. After that, the attraction continued but it was like a push-and-pull effect through out and right up to the wedding, that ended with love declaration which to me, is most probably the only highlight of the movie and I loved it because I'm a sucker for romance. Well, not totally but some things just blow me off with how such simple gesture can have such great impact.

What do I learn from this then? Basically I learn that it's ok if what others perceive as the ideal life, such as having a loving husband and beautiful children, may not be up the ally of some people. I do admit about my reservations on those people who will remark with a, what? you're still single?, remarks *rolls eyes* but seriously speaking, marriage may not be for everybody. Sure we can learn to manage along the way except that I clearly know from way way back that this is not my ideal life. I don't want to make other people miserable, I don't want to be miserable too, just because everyone else around me who is married, seems to be happy and leading an ideal life. 

Again I'm saying we can only plan but only God knows what is best for us. He probably knows I don't wish to commit to a relationship, let alone marriage, but He knows I still need to be entertained by having someone to keep my mind occupied, haha..coz I still love me some hunky men especially the quiet quiet sort. Although just now, despite his quietness and non interactions with other fellow hunky men, haha, I thought he was a little haolian or show off. I mean isn't there any other t shirts besides the one that says 'Air Force'? lol...

Okay I'm talking nonsense now. 

Just to summarize everything, I have NOTHING against people with blissful married life but this movie, despite its cheesiness, taught me that that the ideal life that you have visualize in your mind, based on what you see,  may not give you the happiness that you're looking for. Just because they seem to be happy. Bless them for finally getting the happiness after going through many disappointments. To me ultimately, is whether you're happy with yourself, with the situation you are in, and if you are not, what are the next few steps that you should take to ensure that you won't always lead a miserable life. If you think that by having someone else to complete your life, is a sure fire route to happiness, then maybe you should take a look within yourself to find out what makes you unhappy right now. 

All the best and for those of you still looking for love, don't give up :) but meanwhile, let us continue to keep ourselves occupied by being in the moment rather than always thinking about how others seem to lead a perfect ideal domestic life.

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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Birthday Celebration & Dealing with Life's Woes

We celebrated a friend's birthday last month and I meant to do a blog post but recently, I've been so in a chillax mood that well, now I'm writing, lol! But yah, this is going to be more than just a birthday post. 

We made it a tradition to celebrate our birthday together as we grow older, we don't really go for big celebrations, just a mini eat-at-roti-prata shop also can, type of celebration. Our priorities change and we go through tough times and as we grow older although we come out of it stronger even though can really take a toll on you. That's why you need friends in life. Last time it was all about popularity and I guess that's how most people in their twenties are too now. Jumping on the social media bandwagon, curating beautiful pictures, thus painting a life whom others can just wish to have.

My former classmates from school back then having their own families with some having three children or with a third child on the way. While some of us (a rare breed) are still single or are still looking for love or companionship, we don't let our mind be over consumed by the change in status. We have other priorities in life to keep us occupied but once in awhile, it does cross our mind to think about how our future is going to be like, if we remain single. I know having a family isn't an easy feat either like it's not all roses. 

I admire a friend of mine who really show concern towards us and it's mind blowing how I get to have a friend like her, like what did I to deserve this, haha. While I have a tough situation myself being the sole breadwinner and  having to cope on a single income, I'm lucky that all this while, we manage to survive. We don't have huge medical expenses to take care of and I know of families who face this situation every month and they are barely earning enough to feed themselves. My other friend herself faces this dilemma and while I don't want to air her personal stories here, I do hope that she also do things to make it better for herself and the family. 

I'm speaking for myself too. There are so many temptations online to buy this and that, make us spend our hard earned money, but really, it's about how much can you afford. Ultimately, you spend on things that you really love or care about and cut merciless on other things that you don't need. That's why sometimes I don't really blink spending on things like my hobby which is also like buying the supplies for my online shop. But you don't see me shopping for clothes like crazy. I know some girls do but then they practically don't spend much on other things so it pretty much balance out, you know. 

Okay that aside, we all deserve that much needed break from life's difficulties and challenges by spending time on our friends and family because that my friend, is priceless :)

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I am so FREAKING Forgetful

When I wrote this post, I have found two of the lost items. Another two are still missing and I'm consoling myself with the fact that somehow, it will eventually show up.

Sigh. I swear I remembered putting them somewhere but you know, I'm always in a jiffy doing something and then somehow, previous action would become my current action and I will keep thinking about the previous action, overriding the current one, until I realized it's not where it's supposed to be.

Then you can say all hell breaks loose, until I would suddenly remember that no, that was last time and it dawned on me that I can't remember what I actually did because I keep thinking of my previous action!!

I know it sounds confusing, but that's how it is. There were times when out of the blue, I would remember, after few days (if I'm lucky) and if not, you can consider it gone for good.

Eurgh, the feeling. At this moment, I have lost a small tied bundle of powder which is something like a meal replacement thing and it's supposed to help you lose weight but of course, provide you put in the hard work. A guy lost 20kg consuming this along with a change in dietary habit and including exercise. I? No benefit, lol! But it's free and the person who actually bought it, drank it once but found it sweet. I thought it was a tad sweet but I used more water to dilute it so I guess it's not that effective, haha. Still! I want it back :( I hope I actually left it at my workplace or something, fingers crossed.

Now you see, I can't even remember what was the other thing I lost.

Sigh, is it because I'm turning a year older soon? Big sigh.

This just taught me to be more vigilant and be less forgetful by not doing things last minute in a hurry that it didn't give me time to register and I will keep replaying back previous episode. Oh dear me.

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Friday, September 11, 2015

Is Life so Perfect for Them..or Are They Just Painting a Perfect Picture

I love instagram and not that you will see me posting pictures every now and then but I'm fascinated at the beautiful pictures uploaded by people but a blog post I read earlier, struck me. Instagram isn't exactly instant anymore. They're now used as a platform to upload carefully curated  pictures taken with a DSLR camera. So people like me have been sucked in to believe that their life is basically so perfect while mine is just so awesomely....boring.

I don't really care for the number of 'hearts' I get and I still stick to the same format of taking instant photos and uploading them. I know that instagram is fast becoming a social platform for people to make money and has overtaken blogging as a form of advertorials. I do get bite sized information on new or popular make up products and even make up applications to beautiful cards and layout designs for scrapbooking and cardmaking for inspiration. I heart them like crazy and then browse through the favourites to find inspiration for my designs. Just like how the blogpost mentioned, instagram is fast becoming like pinterest showing you carefully curated pictures rather than an actual sneak peek into their lives like some pictorial diary.

At one point, I was unfollowing quite a number of people not because their pictures are no longer interesting but I don't see why I should be following them if they're not really posting pictures anymore and that well, they no longer interest me. While I also used to just follow people because they're so popular and I secretly wish my life was like that, looking oh so picture worthy, with sponsored holidays, yacht celebrations and lunch at hipster cafes and restaurants, it's just going to make me more upset that my life is more boring than it already is, haha.

But I want to be more realistic that even though my life isn't so insta-perfect like theirs, I still appreciate my life as it is. Sure, it's also not perfect but it doesn't make me less of a human being just because I don't go for lunch at these hipster places and my daily outfits are not OOTD worthy. Like, whatever. I would rather concentrate on making my life better rather than trying to mold it into a picture-worthy lifestyle. I'm also fine with not having a love life like most of these people who often display their love and affection online. I no longer feel jealous of them because I'm sure in real life, they also work very hard and they get to enjoy these perks being social media influencers. Plus it's pressurizing having to keep up with churning good quality pictures and written posts as promotional work for the companies who are paying them quite significantly.

Like what is often said, you lead your life and I lead mine. Now it's time to kick my lazy butt, get off instagram and get real, rather than wishing my life is perfect like theirs too.

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Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Night Festival 2015 & National Design Centre Exhibits

I have to admit that the first day I went to the Night Festival, I wasn't in the best of mood. I was initially but I had a personal crisis and while watching one of the show, I was crying and crying. You have to see the previous posts as to why this melodramatic thing was happening. Although the episode was over, I went through hell and back at home over this issue.

So yah, it was crowded because we went on a Saturday night. But we still managed to walk rather comfortably and we had been through worse than this where we were packed like sardines in the still of the  night. The first show we watched was so ultra cool and cute to boot and I definitely was entertained, before the crying episode began. I believed it should be a crowd favourite for both young and er, not so young at heart. 

Then just nearby, there was a gig going on and I can't remember the name of the artist who hailed from Malaysia but the name did sounded familiar. We stayed for awhile to listen to him sing and he had awesome talent. He was quite a crowd pleaser and he didn't need that big band behind him but just him and his friend with the guitar.

After that, I got bored..heh, and then we walked a little bit down and found ourselves some space to watch another show opposite where we stood at the Singapore Art Museum. Okay this was where the crying episode began as I was speaking on the phone with my mum. She had this uncanny ability of asking you endless questions like a private investigator who is never satisfied with what you have to say because at the back of his mind, he distrusts you so much. That's how I felt. Whatever I said, wasn't believed at all, and to be asked repeatedly, I finally broke down because I couldn't take the pressure.

So, that much I would say, I didn't know what was going on across the road. I think it was some fire eating show or something. I would like to thank my brother for helping me at that moment by ending the call because as typical as he was for a brother, he does care for me in his own special ways. Sidetracking a bit, I mean, he is already not earning loads with his part-time job as a Coffee Bean barista but he's willing to sacrifice $200 to give to me and our mum, while my mum's friend is struggling to even get a single cent from her children because of their own personal commitments.

After calming down, we walked down the street towards SOTA and there were some displays of plant looking light displays where the volunteers loaned out some torchlights for us to shine on these 'plants'. I thought it would be cooler if the displays were to open and close like a mimosa or something but the lights were shone in order to see neon scribbling on them.

We sat down to rest although we didn't actually walk much but I was pretty exhausted mentally. Then, we were trying to figure out how to solve the problem that I was having. He was kind enough to offer some  help but we shall see how it goes. We then had our dinner at 4Fingers. Love their chicken that were coated in batter and toasted in sauce. Since the place was going to close, we took the remaining half home.

Anyway, we went a second time around and this time, it was on a Friday so the crowd wasn't so bad. There weren't much to see so we ended up going to the National Design Centre where there was some cool modern exhibits going on after watching a mini concert at the Art Museum. People were practically sitting and chatting away or lying down on the carpet that would change colours. Everytime it changed colour, people went oohs and aahs, and the kids were pretty entertained by it.

We then went inside to see some cool exhibits and they were not like your typical art displays from Singapore Art Museum. They were interesting and creative and you don't have to be some art expert to understand the meaning behind the display. I especially loved the bird cage which I defo would want as display for my wedding, IF there is ever one which I highly doubt so, lol! Oh, and the umbrella with the round bulbs which was vaguely familiar to me in a past exhibition. I think it should be from the same person because of the similarities. Job well done for these creative artists! I wish I have your skills but well, the only creative thing I do is designing handmade cards. Oh well, at least there's some form of avenue to express my creativity.

In no particular order, enjoy the pics below!!

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Long Weekend, A Little Rambling & My Lack of Gratitude

The day I discover IG filters It's almost mid week to August..argh. I am in the midst of a long weekend, which sadly will come to ...