Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Back to Field

Been awhile since i last update...trust me, in the blogging world, if you have not updated that long, you are considered MIA. But guess what? Im back..and shagged. I have started my field work and the 'best' thing of it all is that almost a week, I had been going to the western side of singapore. So Im practically travelling from one end to another. Nevertheless, to me, it is still an experience despite having done this job for the last five years. Why? Coz I never got an assignment where Im required to travel to the west side, coming from the east, concurrently for a few days. Despite the distance, it helps having a partner that you can work with and it seems that next month, I will be partnering here again..yay!

It was tiring and somehow, it served as an antidote to my semi-imsomnia. How do I know this? Coz I fell asleep on the couch a few times. And I didnt even know I was asleep until my mum or my brother woke me up to obviously tell me to sleep on my mattress like about 1 am plus in the morning. I came back late, surfed the net, watched a bit of tv and then tutor my brother with his homework which he is struggling a bit coz of new subjects and also coz of Maths which he struggles forever. But it's better than my so called vacation prior to going back to work.

I dont know what happened but I could finally fit in my Levi's jeans again where else previously, I could almost cry when I got bloated up and could not even zip up. NOt even half..zilch. I guess coz now I dont keep on munching due to work commitment (so not professional to munch and work at the same time when outfield) and also now that I dont sit for long stretches of hours at the pc like during the work vacation.

It could also be the herbal pills which I have been taking which I dont quite like the aroma of it but good thing they dont leave an after-taste. WOw, for a pack that costs only $4, I would say it is darn effective coz they did get rid of the bloatedness. Infact, I even think it made me look a bit younger and more youthful..and dare I say this...prettier..coz I was like looking at myself several times in the mirror and I sorta looked healthier. Eh, good...good..if I keep this up, I'll be entering a beauty pageant next.

Okay on to more serious things. Ronnie got through the next round..again! And he has a crush on one of the contestants..oh no! So much so when his crush got to the bottom 3, he actually blogged asking people to vote for his crush to continue in the running. Hello! They are your competitors..not your friends! Whats up? Dont disappoint me now Ronnie. If not, I will shift my focus to Perry!

Alright, now the REALLY serious things. Im sad coz over the weekend and half of this week, I have spent a bit of my savings coz die die, I have to pay bills coz it's part of survival. Plus, my printers ran out of ink and my brother needs to use it for his project and that one also, die die have to buy even if the two cartridges cost me 90 plus in total. Im SO sad coz I hate to spend money and I dont want to go back to my state of poverty. This is also the week when my brother has to attend his appointment with KKh which means..*gasp*...more money! You see my point now? These people are taking away my savings!

But I guess God saw my worry coz Im not thinking on behalf of myself but also my family and then yesterday, my supervisor said that we will be getting our pay which is pro-rated based on the number of days that we have worked. It will be around this week so I dont have to wait for an entire month before seeing the 'fruits' of my labour. It wont be that much but like my colleague said, well at least it's better than nothing and it could more or less make up for what I spent for the past few days settling bills and buying the printer cartridges.

So despite the complain, I feel a little bit more relaxed coz at the very least, I still have a job which brings in the income.

Alright! I just remembered that I forgot to do the 'geek speaks' last week! And to think I actually prepared already for it. Today the field location is nearer to my house (which explains why I can afford to blog in the morning) so I dont think I will be so dead beat tonight. Hopefully, I can make up for it tonight. And uhm..catch up on my facebook! Ah yes...two hours of dedication to facebook.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Rest in Peace Heath Ledger

So sad...the passing of Hollywood actor Heath Ledger. He was so young having died at the age of 28 only with reason still undertermined though largely speculated that it could be due to substance abuse because of the pills strewn all over him when his body was found.

I was just looking at the chinese newspaper when I was queueing up at cold storage and was wondering why the heck they put movie stills from Brokeback Mountain on the cover. And then as I was surfing on the net and going through a popular gossips site, I saw his name and the title didnt have a nice ring to it and indirectly implying something along the line of a not-so-good thing. I was like..oh..my gawd. Dont tell he died!

And unfortunately, that was the case. Heath Ledger was found dead on Tuesday 22nd January 2008 in his New York apartment. Now I dont exactly follow his work but I did watch Brokeback Mountain which I would say was his best performance. Okay if you're thinking that I watched it because I was curious of it being a gay movie, you're right. But I was a nervous wreck watching the movie as it was not something that was the norm. Then again, even if a heterosexual couple was kissing on screen, I would have cringed too..so no difference. I am not a lovey dovey person in the first place anyway.

Now Heath was a struggling actor hailing from Australia and he was one of those rare sorts that put his heart and soul into acting by taking up any acting jobs because of his love for acting. Plus, he knew that to survive in Hollywood and to secure a job in acting was very hard and very competitive. So it was all system go for him and would hardly think twice about its implications on his future career. To him, acting is acting. And when he took on a role, he practically 'lived' the character which led to a mindblowing performance with great intensity which many people could vouch for when they watched Brokeback Mountain. I guess after a string of movies that barely made him a star, when he got that major part in a controversial movie, I guess he saw it as an opportunity to push his boundary and make people stand up to his acting ability.

And he succeeded at it. I was like...whoa...you could practically go through a series of emotions like you could feel his character's feelings of loss, anger, confusion and happiness like one big giant roller coaster and would take awhile to shake off those feelings.

But I think everything has its limits and while his acting in the movie did have an impact on us, it did have an impact on him as well. He was so intense in his role that he found it unable to break out of it leading him to take matters in his own hand by taking on certain drugs to help ease his mental stress a bit but with little success. It didnt help that later on, he got a part as the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie which also required a great level of intensity because the Joker was a menacing and dark character and not just some villain who loved to 'clown' around.

It would have been his next breakout hit and though filming had wrapped up, it was speculated that the character had somehow affected him even more and his emotional status became worse than before. Now the toxicology report is not out yet and only a few weeks later that it will be revealed as whether he had died from an overdose. Meanwhile all else are mere speculations.

Well, my heart goes to you Heath Ledger. You have made a mark on Hollywood from an unknown actor to an actor whose credibility had been raised and who had shown the critics on what you were capable of.

Rest in peace.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Between Orientation and Sleep Disorder


I was late for work. My first day at work at a new company. Hooray to me. But lucky it was the orientation programme today and it was supposed to start at 9 am. We had to come earlier at 8.30 to register which basically, to my pre knowledge, was just signing the attendance. Well, I arrived at 8.50am. Tomorrow there will be a briefing only pertaining to my department so I'd better get my butt down there on time which means...*gulp*...waking up a little bit earlier just so that I dont have to wait until some time for my brother to use first. Now I have a problem with sleeping. Funny I should have that since every bone in me is a lazy bone but my timing has gone a little nutty.

I can sleep with little prob in the earlier part of the night but I will wake up quite fast like as if Im taking a quick nap in the day. It's just that when it comes to the actual sleeping, which is usually, past 12 or 1, that is when problem starts. I have great difficulty falling asleep sometimes spanning for over more than two hours.

Then when I am FINALLY asleep, usually more than an hour later, I would be so asleep that even if my handphone alarm ring beside me, I either cant hear or I would switch it off and go back to sleep in a split second. So at times I would think that the alarm didnt ring at all when in fact it did. So when I would be grossly in sleep, I had to be woken up coz guess what, two hours plus later, it's 6 in the morning. So much for sleeping.....*yawns*.....

But last year, there was one particular period that was so bad I practically had imsonia. It went on for more than a month. Yes, I would be lying down on my mattress, eyes closed but I cant sleep and there would come a point where I was even too exhausted to toss and turn that I just laid still. So I would practically see the view from outside my window turn from the blackest of the night to the lighter shade of the wee hours of the morning. Even though I didnt feel sleepy, surprisingly, my eyes became two greyish ghostly sockets and my skin looked aged and even make up could only sustain my youth for a couple of hours.

Apparently, Im not alone. My brother has the same fate too and if you think mine sounds quite bad, he is like the ultimate night owl. When I am fast asleep an hour plus later, he still struggle to sleep though he doesnt toss and turn. But at least he doesnt suffer that every night coz if he has difficulty sleeping tonight, the next night he will have it easier because his younger body is too exhausted from the lack of sleep. Mine is like a continuous play.

Well, sorry to indulge you with this so called medical condition of mine. I admit I suffer from a mild case of imsomnia which worry me at times especially when it leads to me having difficulty waking up.

About my work just now, I have not officially started out field duty yet but coming this Wednesday which I think is pretty darn fast. But time is money, at least in this company's policy so what to do....have to just go with the flow. I would say that I had to endure hours of lectures about the company such as security issues, quality management, HR stuffs and blah blah...and I was pretty amazed I didnt fall asleep in the beginning part of the orientation and was actually alert as if I was listening. Maybe coz I was excited I was away from the clutches from 'evil' mum..haha..or just being in an environment other than my home. Of course, after lunch it was a different story.

The only highlight was the warehouse visit which was pretty fun..and amazing..seeing the forklifts and very tall cranes storing and organizing the crates. The racks would be piled up so high until more than 7 stories tall almost like looking up at a high rise flat. Oh, another highlight was that I would be working with a team member that I had always wanted to work with ever since the last two years but rarely got a chance. And now I did! Except that it would only be about one and a half weeks since the month was drawing near and then next month, I would be rotated since I was not the leader.

But it's okay. If I were to leave this job, at the very least I had finally fulfilled my request..often an unrequited one..to work with one of my fav colleagues. Maybe it's faith?

Alright...oh! Guess what? My schedule is out too and it's a mixture of west and east schools so I dont have to always travel too far away except maybe this week. First location? Jurong West! I was like..gawd..I was already late coming to Clementi..and now they're posting me to Jurong which is further up?!! Man this is unbelievable.

But let's just see how it goes, eh?

For now, better not be late for tomorrow...

Start of a New Work


so last Sunday I was saying that I anticipated a fantastico week. Actually, at the back of my mind, I was thinking...who the heck am I kidding. I STILL have not cleared the paper bills and other letters even though there are not a lot to be cleared. But Im just so freaking lazy to do that. I also have not cleared my brother's past textbooks and assessment books to make way for his newer textbooks so he would give just a bit more space on his study table. Seriously, I dont think I would have a prob with the latter but I think the no 1 reason why I just hate to clear those paper bills and letters is the fact that I just cringe at seeing the figures. Even though I had already settled most of them in the past and only had to keep the latest ones, it still is a major chore looking through them. I dont even wanna open some of the letters that are unopened because some people are so free to send so many correspondence letters pertaining to the same thing.

Anyway, a task is a task and a must is a must. Let me whip myself to shape and get it done..LATEST..by tomorrow. If not, I will punish myself by not watching the first episode of Heroes Season 2.

Speaking of which, Im starting work officially at a new workplace. I probably have mentioned the name somewhere before in some entries but then again, maybe I have not. Oh, I think I just posted the badge but the company's name is blurred. Well, you know..in case I get into trouble blogging about them and it's not some company where I would write flowery poems about. So you catch the drift why it matters that I dont mention the name. Dont get me wrong by thinking that Im being so 'super' by having these thoughts that may bring bad name to the company when I am just starting to work with them. To me, it's kind enough for them to take us under their wings to help them with the project. I still miss working with HPB not so much because of the management coz I so hate them but the environment is so much better and there is a sense of belonging to it even as a field officer.

But now, it's like my work life revolves around being out there in the open doing field work and then only coming back once a month and I dont even know if there is a specific place for me to go to if I go back to the headquarters. They kept on saying that there is lack of space for the group of us and I dont know if by now, they have figured out where to place us. You see, this is the result of people complaining. I understand that they give their 'feedback' to make things better. And now they are offering the ultimate solution which isnt exactly what we have in mind. But what to do. We cant turn back time and begin with a sentence..'Actually, what we meant to say is..' coz they have it all planned already whether we like it or not.

So no choice, we just have to abide by it. Now my colleagues think that we have no sense of belonging to the company when they only tell us to come back once a month and not only that, they actually double..or triple..our work just to prolong our time in the field. Now I have the right to say 'no sense of belonging' because Im not one of those who complain. But I am not going to blame those who did either as we have not started officially on this revamped programme yet. This idea of having us outfield every day and without coming back to office to make up for the remaining working hours will only proven to be effective or non effective later on.

Okay okay...I shall stop whining and BE THANKFUL that I still have a job after the biggest job scare last year of losing my job and not knowing where to go next. For my ex colleagues who had left this line without getting a job first and are still looking for one now, I hope they will get a call or something for an interview. Even though I still think that they should not have quit like that and have too high a hope that they can get a job easily with just a snap of their fingers, it is their right to wanna try something else.

Alright my honest opinion. I think that fine..they have the right to turn down this vendor who will be taking over my ex company's project. I dont wanna say anything bad to them coz they are more than colleagues to me. I know that they also deserve better treatment and I guess we all do because we are all in the same boat. The only thing that made me unhappy is that they think that just because we 'accepted' with little questions or no question at all, we are made to be 'easy' or at least that is how I was made to feel. It's like they were thinking....dont you feel cheated...dont you feel like they are using you...dont you feel you deserve better.

I dont know about the rest but to me, I have a family to survive..bills to pay...and I cant be stopping in the middle of the road hoping that a nice porsche pick me up and then send me to an ever after trip. It's not going to be a journey that I anticipate where it is all so cushy and nice. Yes I have a choice to choose the vehicle to hitchhike on but for how long am I going to wait? It's the journey to move on that matters most. At least for now. As long as it is not a vehicle belonging to some crazed serial killer, then Im fine. Half way through, who knows if I get to hop on a better looking guy..I mean..car? Like this interview I got from MOE. I seriously do hope that I get this job but it's a matter of luck. Even scoring the interview with them is a stroke of luck.

Pertaining to the earlier analogy, I have put my family on the top of my list and that is why I did not question so much when this company took me in after taking over the project just as long as it is not some shady company (just like the serial killer). I agree with them that it is our choice and yes we do deserve better not just in terms of a job offer but also in life. But please, dont think of those people who agreed to hop on to this company as merely following the herd. I know they have been so nice not to be so direct about it but only drop subtle hints like if we have thought carefully about it and then asking question such as 'And then you agree to it?'. The thing is..we have...and for many reasons.

Im not against them for thinking that we have not thought out of the box and call us 'desperate' if they want to and Im still not angry. Im just a bit hurt if they think that we are, like I said, merely following the herd. No matter what, I still congratulate them for being so courageous to move out of their comfort zone for now. Anyway, it's a fair game for all. Even though we are still doing more or less the same job scope when it comes to field work, it's still going to be somewhat different.

Talking about change, Im glad the hiatus period from work is over and my stomach is happy and fully bloated from all the eating and lack of exercise due to increased activity...of laziness. I have to grudgingly go back to my 'healthy lifestyle' period even if I have to drag my ass back to the gym or watch what goes in my mouth. It's a good thing I have not totally lost it or I have to start from scratch taking me back to years ago when I first decide that I want to change my lifestyle. But it's still gonna be a big step, alright. I have to anyway coz most of my clothes that I have usually fit me just nice with little room to spare so they wont do a good job at hiding my new bulge.

I know that I have talked about me being against diet pills and then now, I just bought two packs of herbal pills that are supposed to make me lose a bit of weight but I dont know how they are going to work. The fact that they are so cheap at less than four bucks each is a big wonder if they are as effective as they claim to be. But nope, Im no complainant here and I will be happy if I can just lose one kilo or one inch off my waistline, thighs, hips or butt...or all of the above within a month or less. Only so that I will at least fit in my existing clothes without resorting to overhauling my wardrobe by buying new set of clothes one size bigger.

Then off I go fooling myself i have not taken any 'help'..hehe..well, we need to cheat sometimes in life too, right?!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Stop and Stare

No...some cute guy has not decided to stop and stare at me. Probably just my angry reflection telling me to dream on.

Anyway, I think one republic is a great band and deserves to be a no 1 artist even without Timbaland's touch..although it takes some time to get used to them as a band in itself. Let me, give them some credit by letting you listen to their current single playing on the airwaves right now.

I have problems embedding a music player so be nice to me now...and just download from the link, eh?

One Republic - Stop and Stare

Make Me A Supermodel US Version

Entertainment news update - Ronnie is safe again and he's going to the next round! But meanwhile, for your viewing pleasure...........

Friday, January 18, 2008

Post Interview

Im supposed to blog about yesterday's event..yes..THE INTERVIEW..with MOE..but sorta got a bit..uhm..lazy doing it coz i hate recapping. Ironic since one of the things that I like to do is reading episode recaps. Anyway, I shall try to make it short and sweetish. It went well...I got tired for a bit answering their questions..and apparently, what i noticed was that it was supposed to be over and done already with their interview but somehow continued a bit and they were like asking one another..'any more questions?' and then..the last question...would not happen to be the last question. So there was this time extension of sorts like when you go to an arcade and playing the daytona. I even caught myself catch a fleeting glance of the door.

But, that could be a good thing coz maybe they took an interest in me and wanted to test me further to see if I would eventually break down and cry and admit that I had been lying about being 'committed'..'adaptable'..and so on. I tried to keep my game up and not be so repetitive and try to sell myself and prove to them that I mean what I said. At least 10% of it.

Oh, i even told mariah that one of them asked me a non-relevant question..and who also happened to be the Vice Principal of a boys' school (near my home no less..and I hated that school after a brief stint of attachment with the field nurses). They were like asking me if I was proficient in I.T. and even though I thought that was a dumb question but heck, your loyal geekiness doesnt show on my face. After that she was like..'so have you heard of this new laptop from MAC?' Honestly, Im not into mac and have not even touched a macbook and Im also a pc worshipper. That question caught me by surprise and it helped having a brother whose geekiness is, to be honest with you, slightly above me. He's very much into apple products and watches steve jobs, CEO of the Apple company key notes on youtube.

So back to the interview. So he was the one who kept on playing this ad about macbook air which is the lightest laptop in the world. That was how I got wind of it and who knew that it could be the very thing that would score me some brownie points just when they thought that I pretended to know how to use a mac. So I said yeah I heard of it and it's called the 'mac air'. But later back home my brother said 'no..it's macbook air!' okay, whatever..the darn thing was over anyway. And he went on saying that 'oh, did you know that it does not have an optical drive? Then people have to buy an additional drive to plug it in! Isnt it troublesome?' I kept quiet and he was like..'do you even know what is an optical drive? I dont think you know what it is and thats why you dont know what im talking about.'


But trust that newbie to have saved my life. I could not really remember what sort of questions they asked coz of the many times I had to actually recall relevant examples from my previous working experience with HPB and then relating how they would actually help me cope with the current job scope and its challenges. They really made it seem so difficult stressing that it could mean long working hours despite the school hours finishing earlier and then at times, have to travel up and down the stairs, working with colleagues of different races and languages and so forth. So I just had to play their game and try to prove to them that I was able to do them based on my working experience and it was tough although surprisingly I could actually pick out the relevant examples without thinking too hard.

Then again, sometimes things may take a turn differently and they may have a different opinion of me especially if they face better candidates. But Im hopeful. I would only know when I will get...in a week's time..which is so damn fast..based on how long I had to wait previously for my past interviews. I was saying that my other colleague had also gone for the interview and she was asking me what sort of questions they asked. I did not reveal that much..not coz I was being bad..or competitive..it was just that I could not half recall what they asked..coz like I said, they might have gone off the track a bit by asking more questions than they should be asking.

I very much hope she and I would get through..uhm..just so that I have a buddy to resign with. Okay I know that is the stupidest reason but on the bright side, at least we are going to do something that is different from the past 5 years that we have been doing. We have been contemplating about changing our jobs a few times but somehow stuck with the game and because she is a much more friendly person..who gets along with people in general..but can be tough when necessary as well (unlike me..)..she does get more bad partners than me. Why? Coz they think she would be the right person to partner them. But her sheer endurance working with these difficult people paid off coz she was voted as the most favourite within her cluster.

You know what, I dare not comment further about what the outcome will be although I try to get my hopes high. I've been itching for a change for the longest time and if God thinks that this is the right time for me to change and earn my rice bowl somewhere else, then it will be my calling.

This may sound cliche but Im hoping for the best.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Geek Speaks on Thursday 17/01/08

Hello fellow popizens!! Introducing a new sub segment and it will be featured at the sidebar if you need to follow up with the articles under Geek Speaks. It will be on every Thursday.

This is the first issue and since yesterday, I was pretty busy, I could only come up with this. But, good enough for a start!

Taken from IN newsletter Monday 14/01/08

How do you protect your computer from viruses, worms and other security threats? Here's our survival guide


Malware is malicious software - programs designed to damage or interfere with your computer. It comes in different forms, the most common being viruses, worms, Trojan hourse and spyware.

Viruses attach themselves to programs or files. When you launch these, the virus is activated. It spreads when you send the infected file to someone else, or through emails the virus sends to your contacts.

A worm is similar, except it spreads on its own without needing to attach to a program or file.

Trojan horses are files that seem harmless until you run them. Some create a 'backdoor' to your system that lets intruders in without your knowledge, allowing them to read your personal data.

Spyware are programs that take over some of your computer's functions, hijacking your browser, flooding your screen with unwanted ads, or tracking what sites you visit.


Malicious programs can do anything from slowing down your system and taking over certain functions, to wiping out your files and crashing your computer.

This wastes time and money as users try to fix the problem. Every year, billions of dollars are spent repairing or replacing computers infected by malware.


  • Install anti-virus software, an anti-spyware program and a personal firewall. The latter monitors what goes in and out of your computer, stopping harmful programs from entering, and your personal information from being sent out without your consent.
  • Never download or install anything from unknown websites, including interactive or active content.
  • Unless you know exactly what it is, never open or forward an email attachment or file sent by instant messenger, even if it is from someone you know. If you're not sure, delete it and then empty your trash folder.
  • Regularly download updates for all important programs such as your operating system, anti-virus and anti-spyware software. This ensures they can defend you against any new viruses discovered.

If you haven't already, you need to download the anti-malware programs mentioned above. These will try to get rid of the malware or confine it to a safe area so it cannot be activated.

Unfortunately this may still result in your files being delted, programs not working or your computer crashing. You may have to repair your hard drive or reinstall your operating system. So, as with all computer threats, prevention is better than cure.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Missed Working Life

I feel so lost. I am so used to being a workaholic with maximum of 5 mcs a year (except in 2005 where I had two weeks due to chicken pox) and struggling to take leaves coz I could hardly find an opportunity to do and a quick vacation is out of the question. I think it is the disadvantage of working out field most of the times and the hassle of finding replacements puts me off even though I dont have to do the sourcing but I pity those that had to do the replacement. Im not your average nice girl for nothing.

SO basically, I miss working. Either that or I think I have been under my mum's slavery from morning til late evening and it's getting a bit mundane. Sure, we have our moments where me and my mum, while my brother is away in school, we will go out on a food hunt. Basically, places that my mum saw on tv and wanted to try out. Unfortunately, it wasnt quite a food adventure though it was quite fun travelling. You know what, dont believe a hundred per cent what these food reviewers thought about the food they ate. They were probably paid enough to tell lies to our faces.

Sometimes people create all this hype and maybe...the food was good previously but to maintain a skill that good to make people come back is not an easy job which I agree. Still, I just cant buy their excuse in compromising the quality only because they have this mentality that people will still come back pouring in and lining up. But basically, customers are not stupid. They know if the quality has gone down and you think they wanna come back? No way.

Well, the food industry is not an easy industry to be in and requires long hours of hard work and on top of that, if you want to achieve success, have to work even harder to gain customer loyalty. DOnt get me wrong. Im not condemning them. There are hits and misses and my taste may not be on par with the rest of the foodies and Im not even a qualified foodie being such a fussy eater. The only thing i know is I want to pay for something that is worth every single dollar. That's all.

Alright, I just hope to end this lazy spell of me pronto. Yah I know you know Im already a lazy bugger in the first place. I could not even bring myself to go to the public gym today and forget about doing a second session on Friday. This is so not like me but I think it's just the feeling of not getting used to another environment where the machines are different and the crowd is different. I guess after this, it will be like second nature and would carry on as per normal. I feel like postponing the whole thing next week when I start work where the gear has been oiled. I just could not be bothered with this slight weight gain anymore and I think I should take the comfort that uhm..maybe the rest of my colleagues are not spared from this also..hehe.

Wow, in roughly 9 hours, I would be going for an interview at the MOE or the Ministry of Education. Im excited by it but judging by the quite a number of trips I had made there for the last few years had made it quite a chore. But, Im not about to get defeated and I do wish my next trip there will give me a piece of good news in the future. To be honest with you, five years ago I did have my first interview there before joining HPB. But they took a bloody long time to reply, six months to be precise, that when I got the opportunity to join HPB, I had to take it though I secretly wished MOE would reply first. So by the time I joined HPB, I had to decline their offer (which I repeat..was 6 months later). I tell ya my interview with them didnt quite go well and I stumbled a heck lot. Duh, first interview what! A year after working with HPB, I realised that it was not my forte and I kinda tried to apply again and I failed despite the uhm..'begging' to take me back in.

Well, maybe it was a good thing. No I was not referring to the begging. I was inexperienced and HPB provided me with a good work foundation because I had to deal with different people almost every day and it upped my confidence level a bit. I think it has all got to do with timing.

Anyhoo, I need to do some preparation for my 'speech' later coz going in without any preparation spells disaster. Plus, I need to sell myself. My colleague called me earlier, which was quite a bad time coz I was watching the Deal or No Deal 'hunks' special so I probably missed half of the hunks opening the briefs...err..briefcases..but it went to show that I was willing to sacrifice some eye candy to comfort a friend in need. Big. Major. Sacrifice.

She was nervous and felt a bit bad as well that apparently only us two got shortlisted for an interview while I think another three or four of them did not and they seemed more eager beaver than us. And the ironic thing was, they applied to many jobs and were not getting any call backs for interviews and even if they did, they were not in favour of the companies. To me and my friend, we were like..err...shall we just apply for this one only? We were just trying our luck and trying to broaden our option but did not want to complicate things as we would be signed under contract already by then with the new company.

I guess to both of us, it is not a matter of getting out of this job line..pronto..but about making a better and more wise option coz this job is project based. How long our employability rate is depends on how well this project goes and despite it going well the past few years, it is not something permanent and who knows, what will happen in the future? But of course, the main thing here is to stay employable but at the same time, we dont want to work for any shady companies that may be worse off than this company and we will be stuck in a job line that we just loathe.

Hopefully we both pass the interview and then at least got friend what to resign together..hehe. She has brought about concerns before about us being separated coz spending working time together for five years is no joke and we are like good friends already. She was already saying..hey..we keep in touch okay? I was like..of course!

Haiz, later have to wake up a bit earlier so I can think up bombastic words and phrases to spice up my credibility. Gotta start telling some white lies!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Overbearing Sister

Haiz...Im starting to tutor my brother already and him being a lazybugger, and a wisecracking one who knows how to twist the story and make ME the guilty party, trust me it is not an easy job.

Im not exactly the typical tutor who sit beside the kid coz my brother thinks it is a hindrance to him doing work and I would rather sit infront of the pc than seeing him doing his homework. But of course, he is free to ask me anything..right before I tried to brush him away with a couple of remarks like...'NOW WHAT?!', 'THIS ONE ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DO?'...and my infamous loud..'tsk...'

But Im not all that bad. Well, almost. I do try to help him even though I hate solving maths problems that require me to think hard and all the problems tend to lean that way. But I try my best, grudgingly, and if it is a simpler one..my brother will often go like..'oh yah! NOw I remember!' to tell me that heck, he knows it all along but it's stuck behind his cluttered non thinking brain. Wat a waste of my time. And knowing him all these years, if I can manage to solve two problems, he has this thinking like..hrm..maybe I should let her solve the rest of the problems. Well, fat hope! Im like..'NO! You go and sit down there at your table and solve it yourself! If you're stuck, then you ask me.' See, Im a mean sister with good intentions.

Yesterday's episode was quite a funny one even though I didnt show it on my face. Like I said I tried to help him if only he is stuck with something and told him to look it up in his textbook or the internet coz Im not his walking dictionary or encyclopedia. He, of course, would do it via the textbook first but gives up easily the minute he cant look it up. Then, I said what is the internet for? So for yesterday, he tried to look up the answers for three of the Science related questions like what were the uses for, say, a beaker, a test tube holder and so on. The only thing he looked up was this conical flask and when tried to look for the meaning, he came across a page with an explanation about the flask alright but not a conical one but some weird term. Seeing that he was at least doing some work, I left him alone and thought that he would just go back and do another search.

Half an hour later he complained he could not find the answer and then when I went over to the computer, guess what? he was stuck at the same UNMOVED freaking page! Instead, he opened another tab window about publishing an online magazine. So I began my mini lecture beginning with me telling him that what..Im not stupid to know that he lied to me about searching those terms coz apparently I saw the same page as I saw it earlier half an hour earlier. Could see that he had this guilty look on him and then after I helped him to find the terms and he was more than happy...to write down the answers. I found those terms in just 5 minutes and while giving him the answers, I explained to him as well and he actually listened coz I think guilt was running through his body. Of course he tried to cut in as well..which I retorted, no..if I talk, you listen!

In my sister mode, I can be quite hard on him but it's only for the best. Im also not the type who pamper him and his requests, say, to buy an A3 drawing block would not be so easy and I would be asking him a series of questions. First of all, I would ask 'For what?'..followed by 'I thought you have it already?'..'What do you need it for?'..and most often, I think he was quite used to my interrogating manner until he could not take it and would be saying..'Fine! If you dont want to buy..fine! You dont want me to pass my exams right?' and this line was used when his teacher requested to pay $28 dollars for a Malay dictionary which I retorted back on why it had to be so expensive and why the heck the teacher could not source for a cheaper one.

Going out with him is quite fun also especially when I get to be a nagging mother to him..heh. If he asked too much why..I would just cut him half way repeatedly with..'no..' and typically he would give the sour face but I would be quite overbearing with me saying that if he's not happy, then we can go back now. It's still a wonder why my brother stilll want to go out with me to the neighbouring shopping centres..hee.

Im saying all this coz I was thinking heck, if one day, I have children, would I be so overbearing like this? But I dont think I want to be so hard on them like not giving them pocket money to go to school or to even buy a drink in school like a certain cousin of mine whose budgeting skills were a bit too much. I dont think her children should suffer to maintain their so called lavish lifestyle with a maid and a car. I think it's stupid.

I know my stand will definitely be not to spoil them and not to be like a friend to them but a mother. So no GAP for kids or Osk Kosh B'Gosh shoes. I dont want to be blamed for their behaviour because that is often the tendency when teenagers start behaving ruthlessly. It always have to start at home. We can give them love but dont pamper them so much that it is so easy for them to demand things or money from us like we're some cash dispensing machine or something.

But, we can be fair to them also if theya re willing to play the game with us. I know that this children thing will take a long..long..while but meanwhile, I am the guardian of my brother and Im responsible for his studies and also responsible for the family's income. So, it is not something for me to take things lightly. My concern is to put food on the table and not to fuel his desire to have expensive things but thankfully, I think God is great in which He makes my brother the type who doesnt ask for much. Well, as long as the shirt does not look gawdy or the bermudas shorts are not too short, he's fine with it.

Maybe he will change once he becomes a teenager and start demanding more but hopefully, it will not change much. That boy is growing up, I tell you.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Fantastico Upcoming Week

Like my new blog layout? Actually, I kinda have mixed feelings about it and would prefer to use the previous one but I thought, a refreshing change would not go wrong. Okay, so at least I accomplished one part of what I planned to do earlier. That's a change considering Im the world's biggest procrastinator. Surprisingly, when I just go ahead and dive into what I had set to do, surprisingly I would be doing it whole heartedly unless it's cleaning of the room coz I can be so gawd damn lazy especially if there is a bit too much to handle. I get overwhelmed easily.

So yah, I was saying about me getting all worried about my weight gain which I err..refused to take my weight for the last one month plus or so coz of all the eating especially when you are stuck in the office and then later at home. I do have my breakdown moments and all those prep talk about 'weight is just a number'...'at least I can still fit my jeans at a certain size..which I had never tried before'..dont really sink in with me.

Therefore, before my medical check up, I had to watch my diet and go to the gym. Yes, I revisited the gym. But this is no 'gymbo' where I got to have my moment of peace working out alone on certain days. This is a public gym. Sure there may be eyecandies parading..I mean...exercising...on my right and on my left....and lifting weight while showing their soon-to-be defined biceps. Still, I prefer my moment of solitude. Sure, the machines are better and stronger and within 20 minutes, I sweated a bucket despite the machine looking like it's a piece of cake to work out on. I was wrong. But, I could not quit half way so yeah, had to trudge on for the rest of the..err..15 minutes or so within the span of 20 minutes. That goes to show I was almost dying just 5 minutes into the workout.

But no pain no gain and I had to just move on and complete my one hour of cardio. Okay the malay guy at the counter was friendly to everyone coz they seemed to drop by at the counter to chat up with him. Well, he was friendly to me too and by my second visit, knew my name already which was odd coz I was not one of those chatters. He asked me if I was schooling or working and if I was working that day..blah blah..but I guess he figured out I was shy and didnt ask a lot. Either that or I looked like I was about to run off.

You know what. As ridiculous as this sound, I wish I was back to work. I feel like my energy level is dropping. Anyhoo, talking about work, I got an interview at MOE for a CSO post. It's an admin line dealing with school admin and I am hoping I dont screw up the interview, get called up for the post and then get out of my current company even though I have not officially started work with them yet. Honestly, I am a little tired of travelling though it has its fun moments and the work is relatively easy. Plus, being outdoors mean doing a bit of walking and not just being stuck in an airconditioned room for a long period of time.

But maybe, Im just itching for a change of environment. Let's see how it goes and I shall update this blog about it.

So today's agenda is to continue cleaning up my room but in a more detailed manner. I dont think it will take me that long but maybe just an hour plus coz it's merely organizing the letters and throwing out old bills coz I dont need much reminder how much money I spent on bills. Despite yesterday's huge lecture from my mum about my attitude problem (long story) which makes me change my opinion of her and labelling her as 'unappreciative' (yet another long story), at least I got to do something worthwhile once I start to shift focus a bit on what I want to accomplish for the day.

Well, I dabbled a bit on graphic designing as you can see from the main pic above in my blog. I know it's not spectacular or something but it reminded me that hey, I havent been doing much exploring in this area despite the interest. So I got this idea that in my other blog, which is currently on a break, I may just post up artwork for my own collection and maybe for other's viewing pleasure. That will be fantastico dont you think? And Im still working on writing health and nutrition related articles once I read through the magazines and present them to you in bite sized pieces.

Oh meanwhile, news entertainment update, Ronnie didnt get to the bottom 3 so he's through to the next round of Make me a Supermodel. Go Ronnie!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Ronnie in Pink

Premiere episode of Make Me a Supermodel!!

Pre Employment Checkup

A quick update..about whats going on in my life right now. Well, today I had my medical check up or pre-employment medical check up and honestly, it was generally okay but I dont enjoy being checked up. Same person who hates doctors here. Let's just call it as a childhood trauma thing where I often fell ill almost every week. But I was in good company and had quite a laugh with some of my colleagues..which happened to be..da best. I scheduled it on the same day as theirs so it was not sheer coincidence. Uhm, plus, I did not want to have the shock of my life when I took my weight coz it had been quite an eat fest the past few weeks. I know I dont expect miracles and to see my weight drop drastically given the amount of food I eat and the lesser time I spent working out due to uhm...me leaving HPB and then stripped of my gym use as well but the past few days saw me making up for it.

I actually visited a public gym twice this week and then trying to cut down what I ate the past few days..which, I can tell you..coming out of an eat fest..it was a pretty trying effort. But I think it's all in your mentality and your mind can be a powerful thing to overcome certain weaknesses that you have. For my case..I love snacking and it takes up a chunk of my brain power to resist but it doesnt mean that I have to miss out on life and ultimately on the good stuff..like food, for instance. SO I have this 'taste factor' thing going on for a long time which help to control what I eat which is actually giving in to your craving by just a mere bite or two.

Im not trying to make myself sound so paranoid over my weight..coz..ultimately, it is merely just a number. It doesnt exactly tell you if you're healthy or not coz even thin people have health issues. But it does beat the crap out of me if I put on kilos..which I think almost everybody would agonise over the same fact. It's an internal struggle..which is quite good lah if I dont carry it too far coz it makes me refocus. So...anyway, my effort pulled off and I managed, by miracle, maintained the weight more or less.

Actually, Im just plugging this new thing..which I dont know what to call as yet...and this new thing is all about health and fitness. I like to catch up on the do's and dont's of nutrition, some new revelations about the food we eat and the misconceptions that we have such as myths about certain kinds of food. It's gonna be an interesting bite sized pieces of information. Im not exactly fighting fit and I still have a long way to go before I reach my ideal weight and I foresee this is still not the year to achieve that. I may have been a mess last year what with family and financial problems and stuffs so everything that I ever planned or dreamt about..went down the drain or I stopped completely..even the smallest thing.

So this year, I have a simple resolution. It's actually a no brainer. I want to be more focused on everything that I do and to live a life with lesser regrets. If I know doing something would make me regret and believe me if I am in this regret mood, it can be pretty ugly, then I'd rather not dip my toe in the water.

Maybe tonight you will see me posting up a blog entry on nutrition and then it will be tagged and the link placed to the site. We shall see how lah. Im thinking up a concept of a new blogskin and I kinda got the framework already except the designing part of it and a theme.

Wow, Im pretty excited already. But not as excited as reading an interview done by a certain website with my current IT guy..Ronnie! And then he revealed that he has broken up last Thanksgiving though they are still good friends. Yeah pfft...friends..well, dont worry Ronnie, once your face is plastered all over magazines, websites and televisions, who cares about staying friends with your ex!

He's a political science student and an active political activist with his own nonprofit organization. Despite having such a busy schedule..and now going into television, he works out almost every day! WOw..no wonder he's so fighting fit. It's a cue for all of us who often say we have no time to exercise. If you wanna look good..feel good...you will somehow find the commitment to do something about it and stick to it.

Alright mates! Let's hope the rest of the remaining week will turn out to be not just an ordinary week but a meaningful one. And watch out for my new blogskin..woohoo!

Eh, but I got a second part to this update. Let's see how I can fit this into my..err..busy schedule..hehe.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Ronnie Ronnie

While Mariah is a fashionista..Im a televisionista! It's a cover up for tv geek. Anyway, shame shame..that the video I posted earlier where Ronnie was like talking for five minutes about himself as an aspiring supermodel, didnt work. But since the show had officially started, I can finally get a close up pic of himself..hehe..

I know I posted on him earlier but like a bit far lah...I seriously like his eyes!! Thats it! Rahayu's mission of the year is to only get to know guys with such dreamy eyes. I watched screen caps..though very little of it..and thought he looked way younger than this shot.

Too bad he has 'someone' already back in his hometown. WHo cares. Seems that he's a favourite among women..and apparently, gay men too...from the blogs that I read while googling for his pics even before the show officially started except for a teaser on how they eventually chose the 14 finalists. All of them anticipitating for the real show to start on Jan 10 where they get to see them holed up in some house ala tyra banks' ANTM and then receiving challenges week after week. Audience will get to vote who stays in and who stays out and the winner will win a 100,000 modelling contract.

So let's just hope Ronnie dont suck midway coz it will be such a disappointment. Okaylah, I think some of the other guys got potential too especially this one guy with a so-called Wentworth Miller sorta look..only grungier..but big labels may like for some edgy ads coz I thought he looks like a potential supermodel.

So..I just hope Singapore will pick up the show..sighz..

Touching Base

Wow..money sure runs like water. And before you think Im gonna write another 'I've lost my head..' post about me being super careless, I would say that well...I think Im still in an 'okay' position or taking a neutral stand on how things are right now. In other words, I am quite done with shopping and in mere days, it can be quite shocking to see how all the figures add up to be..well..quite big. But nevertheless, the most comforting thought that I can make do right now is that the total amount me and my mum spent over the past few days after getting some payout, has not exceeded the balance that I have right now which is good. Though still quite a shocking figure as to how much we spent in mere days, we get to buy the stuffs we can only dream about..like a pair of Levi's jeans or a GAP shirt..and in my mum's case..to have that satin fabric..or the Bonia bag.

Despite that whirlwind romance with money, reality sets in and I start getting paranoid. To me, it's a wee bit of a good thing because it helps me to re-focus on life a bit before things get out of hand and Im back to square one. God gave me an opportunity to have fun a bit to forget all the blues I had last year Seriously, I have learnt my lesson that being poor aint fun and that this week is a good week to put away the fun week I had last week pre and post New Year and start touching base with reality. For example, paying off bills..which sucked even more coz I dont have pay for this month since i have not stareted my work yet..plus, nobody likes paying bills. So freaking expensive staying here in Singapore and they can be so demanding and threatening if we dont pay in full. They are not afraid to engage lawyers who will then do the deed of sending us such letters like I owe thousands or something. Wtf.

But it's okay. Im stronger now emotionally and despite being a ditzy closet blonde sometimes, I can handle life's difficulties better now. Just..uhm..dont throw these obstacles too often at my face..I can only handle so much..hee.

CSI Miami Caruso One Liners

A happy 51st birthday to David Caruso! I absolutely idolise him..and despite the jokes about his one liners (and sunglasses) in the show, he's still my number one hero! woohoo!!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Say Hello to Ronnie

Ronnie, one of the 14 contestants on Make me a Supermodel which made its first debut on the selection round.

Vote for Ronnie! If you're in America, that is.

Unconventional Beauty?

Something new. I do wanna let you know about some things that happen..when I get the hair out of my face..hee. What does that mean? When my unruly hair doesnt dominate my face. I dont consider myself as pretty..coz Im hopeless at maintaining a beauty regime so I dont have a face so flawless you can make a drawing board out of it. Or a mirror. Plus when I have acne or pimples..the scars take yonks to recover. BUT! When Im feeling happy, my face just flush up with redness and enthusiasm coz I get to be away from problems even for awhile. It kinda makes me feel and look youthful.

Last year..which was mere days ago, I experimented with growing out my hair. It wasnt something that I foresee as something permanent but eveyr year, I kinda do something 'different' towards my image and if people notice it, good..if they dont, they're probably blind. It was an experience alright..and I had lotsa difficulties maintaining it..but if my hair was well behaved, I thought I was going to have it forever and ever. Yeah right.

So, initially I was talking about what were the things that happened to me which I was thought was pretty 'unusual' but nevertheles..still something. Uhm, I mean guys look at girls right? Thats the norm..unless they're gay. I noticed that when my hair was let down..almost all the time..no guy looked at me. Like come on, I thought guys like girls with long hair! Maybe mine's not silky..so thats another story..heh. Well after a Sentosa trip, my friends and I went to Vivo for awhile and we heard music which turned out to be this sound test that they were doing for this countdown. I hardly tie up my hair but when I did during the whole of that trip, they thought I looked better and more youthful. Plus, being in the company of good friends made me feel all happy and joyous. Anyway, I was just there.....looking and there was this Chinese guy leaning over a barricade to also look at them from a distance doing a sound test. He turned back coz I guessed we made a mini commotion..hehe..and then he looked at me. Then I noticed he looked back at the stage and then he turned back again to look again..at me up and down..for like few seconds. I was thinking..hrm..whats up..

Well, yesterday was the first time Mariah saw me with my new haircut which she described as 'chic'. I thought it was well cut...and this was hardly the case which was one of the reasons why I decided to keep my hair long though just for a freaking year. I shall show you the pic of it at the bottom of this entry.

I kinda like it coz it's a bit fuss free and it gave me this thought that long hair..is so not me. I thought that having short hair would sorta kill the sex symbol in me..like hah..as if there is one in the first place. But hey, you'll never know..I mean, girls with long hair look super pretty..provided they are not as unruly as mine.

But maybe, this pre-notion that short hair kills the sexiness of a girl..may not be so true. I think it's just in your attitude in how you carry off your looks with an air of confidence whether short or long. You know like yesterday, at an esprit boutique, I went to a dressing room to try on this shirt and as I was about to enter this cubicle, I thought I saw this rather cute looking Chinese guy which I supposed must be waiting for his girlfriend. But it was kinda creepy that when he saw me, he didnt like look away and just kept on looking as I was putting down the things on the chair until I was closing the door. I mean..come on..give me some privacy here! When I went out after trying it out, he was still there..looking as I was talking to Mariah...and then I was thinking what boredom can do to you.

But since he's quite cute, I shall let the staring incident go.
Well, if let's say lah..that someone he waited for (which I assumed must be a girl..though I didnt quite see it) may not be his girlfriend or he's just someone who takes an opportunity to look at other girls with the girlfriend out of sight, and if Im a despo looking for attention, that could spell..uhm..something nice to think about. Wow, a guy looking at you and not letting go of his gaze. Fuyooh.....a girl can dream, cant she? Or in my case, dream on.
I seriously dont know how to react if such staring incident would suddenly turn out to be a little bit more like asking for a number or striking up a mini conversation. Being shy doesnt help either besides having a personality so flat you can step on me. SO to me, it's pretty scary. But seriously, I dont mind being friends with people that I just got to know after some friendly staring incident..hee. I think it's just a way of widening my social circle.
Oh, as promised..new do..a bit shy lah..thus, the sunglasses.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Hanafi's First Day

My brother just started his sec one education in a new secondary school and me and my mum went with him for the morning assembly at the school hall. Well, it took me back to the days when I used to look at the guys..particularly those in long pants..when I was in school and how tough it had been for me to perform well in my studies. But Secondary school life taught me great life lessons and made me more responsible in my actions as I became less dreamy..and more..reality based. I didnt change 100% like seriously become more focused but at least there's a bit of improvement. I got to know the different kinds of friends and realised that not all of them are in this friendship thing as some purposely got themselves attached to certain people because they are the smarter lot. How I know this? Coz I lost a friend through this and it was hard to get by these pesky people because they often would crowd around my friend who is actually pretty smart also the class monitor. In the end, she got sucked into this social circle, I cried my heart out and moved on.

I would say that I was not part of the popular group but usually just stuck to a few lot. I was a terribly shy person so it was hard for me to make friends. STill, the friends that I made..we stuck through thick and thin..and the friendship continues way after secondary school. But along the way, I lost them too later as they got high on clubbing and night life after turning 16 and then we are no longer on speaking terms coz apparently, Im not 'cool' enough.

But it's okay. This is just part of growing up and my wish for my brother is for him to study hard and not to follow the wrong crowd. But I trust him coz he can be quite level headed..at least not to me but to his friends..so hopefully all goes well for him.

On my part, as I looked around the school hall and seeing him sitting down the rest, it made me realise that this boy's life is my responsibility. I dont want my family to suffer a struggling life due to my careless actions and I want to be an even more responsible person. God has given me a headstart and this time, I promise that I am not about to ruin it.

THis is my brother doing my infamous kawaii pose!! With no prompting from me of course..

Good luck with school, Hanafi!

Sentosa Trip

Me and my buddies had planned for a gift exchange thing cum picnic at Sentosa but little did I expect that I would be enjoying some of the best..and not forgetting..expensive...attractions at no cost! All thanks to Mariah and Nuts for her perseverance in queueing up with a different alias. Well, whatever it takes to be tourists on a budget! Hehe..

I would say, overall..it was a great..sunny..exciting..experience though the tourists got on my nerves especially those on tour groups. Yah..pfft..priviledged my ass. But there were nice eyecandies..but unfortunately..so freakin taken..by asian girls with nice body but little face value...haha..

I liked the 'simulating' parts like the 4D experiences in the cinemax and uhm...despite lining up for almost an hour, I can only conclude that I watched a..err..Log show?..We got to ride in this roller coaster like chair, strapped...and the chair would swivel like crazy like some bumpy car ride as we pretend to be logs travelling down tunnels and waterfalls. It was really scary at first..and I found myself screaming..but after I composed myself..I kinda just went through the motions..sans screaming..coz it got pretty predictable. Still! I liked it and even a bus ride on a pretty 'humpy' road felt like being on a stimulator..it's the brain, my friend..it got tricked and had not recovered from the shock.

OH yah! forgot to talk about the picnic. Well, I like my gifts and Nats gave me this nice white clutch bag coz I thought hers look nice and it was really great to know she got me a same one! Mariah gave me plenty of gifts..as usual...which is always nice of her. We played this little game..based on my suggestion...which I sucked, unfortunately, while I get to know that my friends..have wild imaginations on their fantasy sex romps! Me? Seriously, I can only come up with couch..and kitchen. Im losing my mojo..

Oh Songs of the Sea was a nice brilliant display of colours, water works, fire balls and laser lights. Very spectacular though the extra cast members..well..I hardly watched them. But it was still nice to just sit down and watch.

I particularly liked the Sky Ride..which was like an open concept cable car..but with your feet dangling high up in the air. Good thing the bench was not rocky or I would have puked big time but it was a great view from the top similar to that of the Carlsberg tower which rotated once it reached the top of the tower. You dont get this kind of view all the time..Singapore in its surrounding water. Breathtaking.

Tiring..but worth it. Definitely a trip worth remembering!!

Plus, I love you GALS!!!

Last Day at HPB

As you know..I have left my company officially on Dec 31st but not without some photo takings..at the gym, office and with my beloved colleagues. I had picked a selected few so enjoy the pics from my personal phone. There will be another batch of photos taken by a colleague of mine who is into professional photo taking so there are more to come.

The office interior

One final take

The whole gang

returned..I hardly wear it anyway. Too heavy for my neck..Hee

Memories of the gym..

I shall miss you GYMBO!!

Lunch at Vivocity Banquet

Working at HPB has been a huge part of my adult life and will be carried forward as memories in years to come..*sobs*

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Lookback in 2007 pt 2

Wah...tiring recapping all this crap. Anyhoo, was saying about my mum but I think it was a good thing in a way now that my mum knows about it, I dont have to pretend that we have this much of money anymore and she did help in her own ways to make things a bit bearable.

But still, it was not good enough. In October, I found myself doing the hardest thing ever which was selling things close to my heart. But when you're struggling, and it's not just affecting you, I guess you just have to swallow the pill and make things better. In the midst of my struggle, I also learn that I am capable of being strong when the situation calls for it and somehow, it also makes me a better person and sees life in a different way.

Of course, I still continued to struggle through even after receiving my pay after 5 long freaking weeks of pure torture! But I did not find myself having to sell my things away though I had come close to it. God is great and He helped me and He opened up some people's hearts to help me tide over the bad times. Like how a colleague said that if our intention is good, then God will see to it and help us along the way. But we also have to learn to help ourselves first and in the midst of all this, I learnt to be thick skinned coz I just had to.

And then back to work. So, there was final confirmation already that our department had been outsourced and after Dec 31st, Im no longer working at Health Promotion Board. It was hard to swallow coz..as much as I dont enjoy the department, but I cant deny its benefits and the environment which is nice and comfy. Still, life goes on and the good news, is that I dont go home empty handed and on that day itself in the evening, I received a substantial amount of money as compensation. But, since I wont be having any pay since I only start my work on the 21st of Jan, which makes my next pay in Feb, I will have to be careful of my expenditures. What Im worried is the little expenditures that will me lose track a bit so from now, I will have to be extra careful and dont want to end up broke again like straight after my recent bonus.

In October and early part of November, my brother was sitting for his PSLE and it had been the greatest source of stress ever. I really wanted him to go to express stream and not just make it to the secondary school. Now, please dont accuse me of being hard on him but Singapore in the future is going to get even more competitive than now and I dont want him to be left behind. Im not being kiasu but if I dont give him an early start to work hard, his efforts are just going to be so-so..or barely passing through.

It was not an easy ride and his teacher was merely giving worksheets after worksheets but didnt really give him an individual attention so I had to be like some kind of surrogate teacher to him. Very tiring trying to cope with both work and his studies but I wanted to forgo tuition coz the fees were too high for me to handle so I had no other choice. The good news is that he passed his exams, including Maths, and managed to get to the express stream and when the school posting result came, he got his first choice which is nearby our home. He's starting tomorrow so it's going to be a different experience for him now.

Alright, early part of December, went through a series of training but I think the best one was the Attitude training. Gawd, the facilitator was hilarious and throughout my time at HPB (heh, first time Im revealing my workplace), he was the best despite being the age of 60, but he was so wise..yet so funny like his perception of life is so candid which makes me think that hey, we're lucky to be where we are. Hardships come and go but the important thing is that we must strive for better things to come.

Then in the midst of December, I got my bonus and then I got myself a new handphone to replace the one that I *sniff* sold off to tide over difficult times. But I didnt expect to get another slap in the face with another round of poverty when I spent quite a lot on my brother's sec one school needs. And like what I said earlier, never underestimate the small expenditures because they can make you lose focus and before you know it, you will be going like..where did my money go? So yah, Im being careful now.

December seemed to be quite a busy time for me too. Oh, I got myself a new job though it is still doing almost the same field work. But beggars cant be choosers and it's better to have a job than not to have one at all..at least during this time. I had to forgo a teacher's interview coz I had already signed the contract which let me to my delay in opening up the letter box causing me to miss the interview. But like I said earlier, sometimes things happen for a reason so I dont wish to comment about it.

I also realised that my initial thought why my current job title has Senior attached to it was because I had five working years of experience in this field. Turned out later via conversations with my colleagues..that it was because of the pay so not all of us have a senior posting. So....it could only mean that I will have to 'drop' the Senior title since it is going to be a telltale sign of my pay which may not be such a good idea coz my colleagues are quite known to be a little bit hard on people especially if they have been given some sort of unfair treatment. Wow, and here I am a bit excited that Im a..pfft..Senior.

But basically Im still stuck in the health line industry and being a serial snacker...though trying so hard to control it...Im not exactly a picture of health but then who cares. I have lost some colleagues coz we have gone our separate ways but I will always remember them...all the good times we had. I shall blog more about this and include some 'goodbye' photos coz seriously, we took..a LOT.

Other things worth mentioning is that well..this year, Im into the group called The Fray as you can tell from the blogskin. When last year's theme song for me was from Jason Mraz, this year is How to Save a Life from The Fray. Unlike many others who discovered this song via popular TV dramas like One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs, I discovered it through the radio. Isaac's unique and warmth voice lights up my mood and their song puts me through hard times. Coming close to this song is another single of theirs which is Look After You. Very beautiful. Hrm, I think I got another idea on what this month's blogskin theme is..heh..

I started watching Tv a bit more with shows like Ugly Betty, Supernatural and Heroes. Im a big Hiro and Sylar fan. Hiro's cute and Sylar...though he's a serial killer...he does have this sensitive side which unfortunately, got twisted..no thanks to his mum who thought that he should be..well..more than just a watchmaker..like an investment banker or even a President. I also started to develop an interest in indie films or shorts and frequently trawl youtube for video clips of American dramas and soap operas.

In conclusion, I wouldnt say that I achieve that much in 2007 but I went through quite a lot of emotionally charged situations so Im quite challeged in ways that went beyond my maturity. Only time will tell if that makes me a better person putting meaning into my life. Of course, I do want to achieve some things in 2008 and will also try my best not to repeat the mistakes I have made in 2007.

Happy New Year to all!!

Long Weekend, A Little Rambling & My Lack of Gratitude

The day I discover IG filters It's almost mid week to August..argh. I am in the midst of a long weekend, which sadly will come to ...