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Showing posts from October, 2014

I Should Have Known Better

The last couple of weeks have been hard for me and as I'm trying to climb my way back up again, I prayed to God to give me the strength to face this tough time. I've also been doing some self reflection and I know that this is just a way to test me to not falter and to learn from my mistakes. However difficult the position that I'm in right now, He's also helping me out during these tough times.

This week, I prayed to Him to help me receive orders through my online shop so that I can continue to support my family. For the first time ever, I received a whopping 8 orders just this week itself. Such a miracle and I'm truly blessed for it. I've also received some financial help that would help me get through this week. 

While it's been a difficult road right now, it's also easy to digress. I came to a point earlier this evening where I picked up things from the bookshop which I had difficulty letting go off due to the ongoing promotion and the rarity of findi…

Living with an Exteme OCD Mum

My mum has an extreme OCD with toilet cleanliness and personal hygiene. She's always been OCD but now, it has become like a totally different ball game. Her obsession has become extreme and for someone who doesn't get angry easily, annoyed yes, her OCD drives me absolutely nuts. The water hose has to be positioned this way, she has to hear water running all the time otherwise she assumes I'm not using water at all and after I leave the washroom, most times she asks me to go in again and wash the floor another time.

She simply doesn't trust that I've done all the above. No trust at all. She will say that it's very smelly and the 'best' part is? Despite all the cleaning that I've done, before my brother can use the washroom to bathe or to pee, she has to wash it all first because she thinks after I've gone in, it's still dirty.

I don't know about other people, I feel like I've done more than enough. How do I know this? The water bill has…

Tough Times & The Hero in Us

I've been feeling down recently at the turn of events in my life. I felt like I was losing control and I also felt like I didn't do enough to save my situation. I blamed everyone and I blamed myself but at the end of the day, there's no point blaming people. If it happens, it happens and where do we go from here? We try to see what we can do to save ourselves from this undesirable situation, and little by little, I hope to see improvements and that things will turn around significantly.

Have you ever felt this way, where you think you have things under control and then suddenly, your life just goes spiralling down? I've gone through such episodes multiple times and it pains me every time this has to happen. Sometimes I wish why can't I do anything right. Why must this happen to me..again? Where have I gone wrong? 

Maybe there are a few reasons here and there as to why things may have gone wrong. They may not be so obvious because some things, if they want to happen, …

When The World Comes Crashing Down on Me

There were many instances where I felt my world had crashed and burned to a point I entertained thoughts about how life would be like if I'm no longer around. I didn't think about how I could make the effort to turn things around as though it has come to a point where everything has become pointless. 

I've now come to the crossroad again. I thought I have things in order and I'm often scared to go back to a time I'm so poor, I had to sell my precious things off, at a mere $5 each. As though you think that was so 'peanuts', it was but it somehow added to my already small stash of cash that I have that was barely enough to top up my fare card then.

While I have not come to such a low point again, I have come close to it and I've done things that I'm not proud of. I am currently facing an undesirable financial situation, again, but I knew somehow it would catch up on me again. This month, I had to pay double my usual for the utilities bill, or risk havin…

Being an Adult vs Behaving Like an Adult

Sometimes I wish I am back at those time when I basically am problem free, don't have to be so majorly calculative and be paying bills and loans off. But alas, for how long can I be stuck in the past. I just have to move on and deal with the problems.

However, some people just don't seem to behave like adults and that irks me. A lot. The issue has always been with other people but they don't realize that they are also the cause, or even the ONLY cause of problem. I really dislike it when people play the 'oh woe is me' game because they make themselves become so selfish like expect people to entertain them as and when they like but they don't give the same kind of treatment to others. 

I wish these people will 'grow up'. Physically yes, they're fully grown but somehow they don't behave like one. Everyone has their problems, some much bigger than others, to a point of pain and suffering where they are totally helpless. But do these sort of people ca…

Being Grateful for Something, Not More Not Less

I watched this really heartbreaking video from India and by heartbreaking, I mean because I was so touched by how this viral video captured the poor population of India and what they do to earn a decent living to feed themselves and their families. They sell anything that can be sold, including offering cups of water, bracelets to a simple flying toy for 1 or 2 Indian Rupee. They live day by day and it's highly competitive because there are many other sellers as well who are in the same plight as them.

Along came this man who offered them 100 Rupees just by asking if they believe in God. Despite the plight they're in, they NEVER blamed God for it. They still praise God and talk highly of Him. You would think that they will be angry because most people will blame God for making them so dirt poor while other people are enjoying wealth and a comfortable living. 

The thing about these people whom he videotaped, they never begged for money. They offered a product or service instead o…

Daily Planning for the Big Win

How many times have we just take life for granted and then wishing for some things to happen and then we spend most of our life waiting for that grand chance? We set our minds to goals and then wishing we're thinner, healthier, richer and so on but we never really sit down and write out how are we going to get there.

I'm guilty of this too and you will probably think too that this is easier said than done.When I read a recent article about how these girls in their twenties live a life where other people can only dream or wish that they would just go for it, I feel quite ashamed of myself too. I would have felt the impact even more if something had not 'konked' in my head that I don't want to waste my thirties just like how I wasted my twenties. I did, in my mid twenties, focus on one big win and which is to lose weight and to dress better. It was a small win alright but a journey that's far from over. Now I just want to be healthier for the sake of my family and…