Living Each Single Day

Hey, welcome to my little online space. I would say this is a blog of sorts, to help me sort out my thoughts. I also write about things going in my life with friends & family and being out and about in sunny Singapore. Life isn't easy, everyone knows that. While we are at it, don't forget to live life to the fullest :)

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Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Glimpses into Our Imaginary Future & Love Life

I had a meet up with my two other friends after a seemingly long time that we three got together including the little boy of one of my friends. It was a catch up session and also play time for the little one who was having the most fun with the waterplay on the rooftop of a shopping centre. While we adults were just basking away in a corner of the playground having a little pot luck and how apt that we were having our lunch underneath a sign that said no food and drinks, heh. 

My friend was her usual chirpy self snapchatting away including one close encounter with an overhead bucket with no tellling of when the water would pour down in a gush. I escaped unharmed but she was so damn close having so narrowly escaped which she immediately had to put on snapchat, haha! 

Her snapchats proved useful though when I headed home later in the afternoon and showed my mum several of her 10 second videos on the little tot and how he had so much fun playing with the fountains of water and how he put on his shoes and so on. My mum has a soft spot for kids, though she doesn't pile heaps of  praises on us, but we know she's proud of us and she cares for us in ways that a mother can. 

It was also meant to be a catch up of sorts but as usual, my other friend, who is also the mother of the little tot, wasn't talking much but watching her son like a hawk. But my other suspicion was that she was just tired of saying the same things in her life as though she's resigned to fate like this is how life is supposed to be and there's not much to be done except to take comfort in the playfulness and in the love for her son. I'll share pictures of them in a later post but for now, I would like to just share what goes on in the barely there conversations that we had and how we predict our future to be.

If she's resigned to destiny that this is how life is supposed to be, then this is sad because I believe it's up to us to rise from our problems and be better than all this sh*t surrounding us. I know it's easier said than done but you know, it's not as though my life is easy as well. Life's tough in general but it makes you stronger and the fact that you get all the support that you need from friends and family to help you along this journey called life, the least we can do is to be grateful for their company and their share and concern towards our well being instead of brushing them off thinking that they will never understand the difficult position that we are in.

Moving on, my friend and I, which you can totally read about in an earlier post about her birthday celebration, we were just being ourselves and thinking silly thoughts about how our future is going to be like. I was joking with her to quickly get married so she can have a child and can bring her along to the water play. And then I will bring my cat, lol! She was remarking how many lest I become a crazy cat lady if I don't get married, haha...then she was all like, what happen to Mr Biceps (what she calls gym guy) but I was saying if he doesn't even talk to other people in the gym despite being a regular on a Sunday and I suspect Saturday as well, there is no way he is going to talk to me. Of course I'm still hopeful even though I know nothing much will come out of it but you know, at least I'm mentally prepared that I shouldn't raise too much hope.

Unlike me, I see far more potential in my friend as being a married woman some time in future as compared to me. She's great with kids unlike me, whom I can only converse with older kids and will most likely cry along younger defiant tots, learning how to cook and is very independent having traveled overseas alone, including being a pillion rider to an unknown motorcyclist much to her mum's horror, haha. She'll be a pretty cool mum and despite her not talking much about wanting to have a love life, I pretty much know that deep down she wants one.

What am I saying, every other woman wants to be loved and not the type of love from a friend or from a family. In the midst of our busy schedules, work and responsibilities, we brush aside thoughts of finding love because we don't have time for it. But love will find us in ways that we can't imagine and he or she may not be what we pictured them to be and can be a far cry. Still we will fall hard for it because of how the person gives us this magical feelings that we get so drawn to it never mind if our personalities are far apart, with the example of one is so quiet the other is so chatty. The way the person makes us feel with hearts a fluttering, skin tingling and losing our breath as the person approaches us or when we come near us that we never feel so safe, protected and wanted.

But until then, life goes on. No matter how difficult life is or finding love, we have to find it within ourselves first to love us for who we are instead of putting the blame on ourselves that it is our fault life is tough or love takes such a long time to find us. Instead, we should be focusing on making small steps to make a difference in the future unless we want it ourselves to remain stagnant as it is. We cannot go back to having the mind of an innocent child devoid of any heavy responsibilities resting on their shoulders like every other adult. There is time to play and time for work, time to be with friends and family and time for self discovery. We can't go back to the past so right now, our focus is on the present and the future.





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Sunday, May 01, 2016

Making My Mum Happy is More Priceless Than Money Itself

I was very upset last week and so was my mum. I was still upset the next day and even though a few times I tried to comfort myself by saying that hey, at least it's not as if I'm broke now after buying her the $60 over shoes. I still have money that can still last me up to payday. It's just that I was upset because I wasn't supposed to spend that much again after I gave her some money to buy fabric to make new clothes for Hari Raya. Oh, I also spent $140 repairing the kitchen pipe. Oh where's they crying emoji when you need it?!!

So I was complaining about what happened the day before. Funny thing, we hardly talked during work but after work, we always seem to share our life stories together. She's years older than me and after hearing me out, she said things that struck me. Anyway, she was telling me that I was lucky because I still have a mum to buy things for, unlike her. She wants to buy her gifts but she no longer can't because her mum is no longer around.

That it got me thinking that I had been selfish. How a mother's love is priceless and yet here I am worrying about how 'little' money I had left after buying for her the shoes. It's not as if she has a cupboard full of shoes. She only had one pair which she had worn to death and had to sew on it and anytime they will just disintegrate. Like I wasn't thinking how every morning before work, she will pick out my  work clothes, iron them and then prepare breakfast like a cup of milo and at the same time, prepare my usual lunch of a butter and jam sandwich and a bottle of hot plain tea. I mean any other mothers would be like, go prepare your own clothes, your own breakfast and then your own luch. But she is doing all that in the every single morning. Even on weekends when I don't work, she will still prepare a simple breakfast and also my gym outfit which motivate me unconsciously to go to gym, but of course as you know, my other motivation is the gym guy, but that's another story.

My colleague also said you can always earn money again but you can't earn your mother's love again once it's gone. Sometimes we get carried away by money even though money itself is not evil but people's attitude towards money.  Of course, money is also important not just to assist us in our day to day living but money can also help to bring happiness towards our loved ones. How our parents brought us up painstakingly and then as we grow up, we love them less and less. How they pinned hope on us to bring them happiness like living in a nice house and be given some cash monthly so that they don't have to work and can use their time for leisure instead of just looking after us. But alas, many of these parents are still working hard just to put food on the table because their children cannot take care of them anymore as they have their own family commitments. Their wish for us to get a good education so that we can have a better future like a degree, a big house and money in the bank so that we are not poor.

Alas, some children grow up to be nothing but giving their parents constant headache by getting into unnecessary trouble or seeing their own parents as nuisance which is sad actually. I'm guilty of making my mum feel like she was not worth buying the shoes for despite the state her current shoes are in. Hearing my friend talking her toddler son by pointing to him all the big houses surrounding the shopping centre, telling him to study hard so that he can buy a house for her. Then I think about how we ourselves are struggling to give our parents happiness, let alone how we expect our own children to survive in the future when things are already so expensive nowadays.

Then it set me thinking that it's not too late for me to provide a better future for me and my mum. I want to continue to give her happiness and I want to continue to earn more money because with this money, I can afford to buy better things for  her, like a house maybe? There's a limit to saving money but there is NO limit in earning money. I don't want to be a disappointment to my mum and this I promise.



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Sunday, April 24, 2016

Birthday Treat & Celebration at FIX Cafe with My Friend

Slightly more than a week ago, I had the pleasure of giving a friend of mine a birthday treat because I feel like she's so deserving of it. I am very sure my treat isn't the only one because she's such a kind soul that everyone appreciates having her around. If there are angels among us, she is definitely one of them.

She is also my personal motivator and the fact that she's so caring instead of being so judgmental about others make her so much endearing as a human being. We appreciate each other's company and I thank God that no matter how hectic my life is, whether in terms of family or personal problems, He sends me this glimmer of hope that not everything is bad in life.

We had our dinner at FIX cafe which specializes in grilled meat dishes but unfortunately, their service was so slow and the fact that these meat was grilled to perfection, I could understand. I just could not understand the 45 or so minutes of waiting. And how we observed they practically get the orders wrong for all tables which is saying something as well. They should do something about the timing and the taking down of orders, I must say, including getting the orders right. I was too famished to point out that they got my side dishes wrong.

Anyway, we spent the time talking to each other and while you're with a company like my friend, you don't notice the time passing by. I can imagine we can sit down and talk for hours and hours that I often joked with her, why don't you come with manly biceps too, haha!!

We were also talking about our other friend because it's been awhile since we last met and my friend being the caring sort, is always thinking about her wanting to know how's it been for her which I fully can symphatize with as not every one has an easy life.

But this, being her night, we had fun sharing and learning things including how to use this app called snapchat which I had no clue how to use. Since she had some experience, she taught me how to use and I have been having fun using this app :)

Anyway, here's the pictures from the night of celebration! Here's to many more years of friendship and birthday treats from me.



















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Tolerating with My Mum's Quirky Toilet Hygiene

I'm very upset about my mum's toilet hygiene that it drives me nuts and it's not just that, there are some things that drives me nuts too and it takes a toll on me because I wish she doesn't get upset easily and be so anal about it that it consumes her like it's the only thing that matters to her and nothing else. She doesn't want to hear your stories, she doesn't care about the water wastage and her weird habits in the toilet whether about bathing time or you know, do your toilet business time, she takes water wastage to the next level.

And you know who takes the brunt of it? Me. It will be just a momentary time when she thinks shes' wasting water but then later, it's as though she never thought about how much water is wasted. When I think that I've pretty much cleaned up whatever I can during bath time, she thinks it's not enough. It has to coincide with her ironing and being done with it. Then furthermore, she's always lost in thought thinking about so many things, mostly irrelevant, that suddenly she's like 'bing!' back to reality and she assumes I only spend 10 minutes in the shower and taking notes of the noises in the toilet such as the water flow and the flushing of the toilet associating with washing the floor and cleaning the floor.

You know if her toilet habits are like that for her personally, then it's really something I can't change. But when she implements those on me, it gets on my nerves. I know I'm the complete opposite of her when it comes to toilet hygiene although lest you think I am very dirty, I do what is required and even more time than what normal people usually spend because my mum seriously dislike me and my brother taking a very short time in the toilet for whatever reason.

For my brother, don't have to say, he's the dream come true for her in terms of toilet hygiene and hardly ever gets rapped. It becomes a habit for him to take a long time in the shower for fear of my mum and he takes it a tad too far. For me, I feel more impact because like I said, I'm the one who is paying the water bill which is out of this world which also makes me upset because I don't like to pay extra especially when they come aknocking wanting to cut off my water supplies. The only way to appease them is to actually pay those outstanding bills which mind you can run to hundreds, money that could benefit other things instead you know.

I know the only two solutions I can think of is to either get married and move out of here or just get a bachelorette apartment and live or my own which I think is more highly likely than the first option knowing that marriage is not on my card. I don't want to think of her demise as the final solution because that is such a morbid thought so as for now, I know I can't be perfect in her eyes in terms of toilet hygiene. So I just have to follow along her game rules, sigh.....I hope I don't get killed by the water bill soon.

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Monday, April 18, 2016

When He Doesn't Lose His Gaze on You

Oh the feeling of being in love!! I've been watching the wedding scene of the Shadowhunters where one of them was about to get married for the sake of family honour, although he was not really in love with the girl he proposed to. She is beautiful and looks so 'wow' in her beautiful embroideries dress but in the end, he chose an 800 year old warlock who of course, had to make to make a grand entrance.

We have to see how it all panned out in Season 2 and while they take some major elements from the book, it's an entirely different interpretations but I do hope they work out something in their relationship as one is a mortal and the other is immortal. The gnawing thought that the one who is immortal watches the people he care about age and die, will be an issue they will have to figure out and eventually accept.

That brings me to this. Does the person who love you for who you are, but as time passes by, our skin lose elasticity, we may put on weight, lose the youthfulness and we start to care less about our appearance because we are pretty much settled and comfortable from where we are right now. Do we still look as attractive to him as we were when we're young and in love. Of course there are those blessed ones, though they showed signs of aging, still look young for their age. But for the majority of us, what if we look different now more than back then when we first proclaim love to each other?

The thing about love is that everyone deserves love. When you love someone, you love him or her beyond their physical appearance. 'Til Death Do Us Part. A part of us will die when the one whom we love dearly passes on. But the memories live forever in our mind as long as we are alive which are more priceless than the gifts exchanged between each other and all those lunch or dinner dates. It's the company of each other through the pleasant times when you share the joy and laughter and the unpleasant times where you promise to be there for each other no matter what.

So don't underestimate yourself. Unlike the fictional world like in the books, there are no immortals and we are just mortal beings navigating through life and experiencing what life has to offer, the good and the bad, which includes finding the love of our life who will cherish us, and who doesn't lose his gaze on his chosen one, even after many years of being in the relationship :)

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Sunday, April 10, 2016

Beautiful Soul from Within

Excuse my lack of pictures in my recent posts. Haven't been venturing out that much but I can assure my upcoming posts will have pictures but mostly those of dinners, haha. I thought I wanna share more of my opinions. It goes with age you know, coming to be in the mid thirties, lol.

Speaking of which, at this age, I would be more comfortable in my skin that I was back then in my twenties. Well I would say that I am more zen than back then when looking good was all that matters. I rekindled with make up which I used to be obsessed with and dressing up a little more. I can continue to be dress up to make me feel good and a little make up too, not so much to impress people, but because I just want to have that little boost.

However, do I have to hide underneath these pretty clothes and veil of make up just to make myself feel good? Hard to say but what I find helps me when I'm feeling meh, even with make up or a nice blouse, or when the comparison game begins with other ladies, is to tell myself that confidence starts from within. Like I simply do not want to tell myself oh if I were to lose weight on this part, or if thighs were slimmer or I don't have a weird round face, I will look so much better with this make up or in this clothes.

If you have a beautiful soul, is kind to others and not stingy with your smiles, you have this aura coming out from you that it makes you really attractive and people see you beyond your looks. There was this inspirational article where a woman had burns on 65% of her body and she lost her fingers and thumb that when she had to go through skin drafting, she looked completely different. Any sane person would be horrified if one have to go through such drastic transformation that it's easy to give up in life if there's not enough strength in oneself to carry on living and certainly without the backing of love and support from closed ones. The public will ridicule and most people will turn their eyes towards their attention and you just want to either creep somewhere or stay home for the rest of your live.

But this woman has a beautiful soul from the start and her husband saw her beyond what she has on the outside. Other people may choose to leave her and go for those 'normal' looking women but he said he married her because of her beautiful soul. That is so touching to the max! 

With all those popular instagrammers with their stylized posts and their huge following wanting to be just like them instead of feeling good about themselves. You can be thin, drop dead gorgeous, chubby or seemingly ordinary looking, if you can embrace who are you from the inside, even with no make up and dressed up in simple shirt and jeans, people will still accept you for who you are as long as you are willing to accept yourself, flaws and all :)



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New Discovery & Catching Up on Reading

I just discovered a new show which actually just ended its run and that episode was actually the penultimate to a relationship that everyone was hoping for throughout its run. But they saved it for the best or at least in its second last episode. I was also thinking, heh..good thing I only got whiff of this show when it was about to end. This show is called Shadowhunters Mortal of Instruments based loosely on the books by Cassandra Clare. Of course it's so different from the books based on the quotes and excerpts I read online but you know, the tv business is a different foray altogether. I couldn't care less about the fighting scenes but what I like about the show is how they intertwined lessons in life such as being true to yourself instead of conforming on what you think is right only when at the end of the day, you will just end up miserable your whole life. My favourite character is that of Magnus Bane, the warlock who later fell in love with the eldest shadowhunter. But I was so impressed on the acting abilities of Harry Shum, Jr which I felt was totally underused when he was in Glee. The only two things I remembered from that show was his rock solid abs and dancing skills, that is all. But in this show, he truly shined.

Despite the show having finished its run, it started on a new thing for me which is catching up on the book series. This is no twilight or any other vampire series. It's about shadowhunters which I'm still glossing over their descriptions because I was more interested in that lone warlock who is sassy, has magical powers, immortal and yet have a heart of gold. I borrowed the book called The Bane Chronicles because I want to find out more about him. I'll get to the shadowhunters series in a bit.

But the funny thing was that this book was in the young adult fiction section and I'm far from being a young adult, lol. So when I got to the unheard of level, which was for these people, I seriously felt like 1000 pairs of eyes looking at me and felt out of place. Good thing I did a search online as to where the book is located and it was just a matter of finding that shelf so I can get the heck out of there. So far, I'm enjoying my reads.

I actually do read in case you're wondering but mostly non fiction books that are focused on self improvements. Of course now that I have more free time, aka not studying..sniff, I could afford to spend time reading fiction books because as much as I feel like ok, it's not really my kind of thing, but at times you need to get away from the realms of reality for a bit and get lost in the made up world, even with vampires or warlocks. I also want to start reading back my favourite author Clive Cussler which I've enjoyed his books and have quite a collection from back then during my secondary school days. Of course now our libraries are well stocked with books and since space is an issue in my room, I normally resort to borrowing. Save some money and space.

I did however buy one book of his but just $5.00 because it was on sale. Not sure if it's a second hand book but it doesn't matter. Now I just have to find out where I last saw it, haha. I don't know what I was thinking at that time because obviously I had to focus more on my school as exams were drawing near back then when I purchased the book. Since then, I had left it aside and now am more determined to catch up on his works.

So back to the tv series and the shadowhunters book series. So far it offers an easy read though still imaginative although at some points, the writer is writing as though just wanting to feed the readers' obsession with the relationship between a warlock and a shadowhunter. We don't mind though, haha. Then as I read through her online excerpts and her answers to the fans, she is changing certain elements that I dunno, in my own opinions, are suited to what the fans want. I hope she doesn't lose the essence of her imagination just to bring in more moolah for herself by simply catering to fans, if you know what I mean.

I don't exactly know how this book business works but I know it can be very lucrative when your books get attention and you get tv and movie deals. However, I do hope it doesn't encourage future or current authors to be motivated by the fame and fortune that comes if you hit that sweet spot. 

Enough of my small rant. For now I want to thank that TV show for helping me to go back to the reading  path and enjoy being immersed in another world of imagination. Plus now, I don't care if a thousand pair of eyes are going to stare at me next time, haha.

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