Stressed Out
Iv'e been under a lot of stress lately even though the first month is not even up yet. With the crappy competency tests which I cannot accept why the heck they equate the passing mark to be that of 90 and above. If you're 89 and below...you failed. And pfft...yours truly got an 89 and most of us failed. So does that mean we're incompetent? Hell no! Gawd Im so angry..and the comments given were not even constructive! If they think that they know Im shy by nature, they shouldn't harp on that during the test round because if I were shy when giving that couselling, I wouldn't look at her face okay freaks? And then the chief of all satans said that my voice was soothing that if this talk were to stretch for half an hour, he could have fallen asleep. So you want me to do what? Shout at the person is it? Please lah..it's all about content and assurance of the parent of the child's condition..not to see if im good enough to put the person to sleep! What the fish is that?!
Tsk, sometimes Im so angry with the kind of crap given by the management and especially him that I don't know how long I can cope. We're not talking about a person with all the experience and all the knowledge in the world who knows what the hell is he doing. Infact, he's the great pretender. And if he wants to go on and on with his charade, he can do that but don't drag us into his 'perfect little world'. He lacks the quality of a leader and has absolutely no respect for his subordinates. Whatever he is doing right now is not for our benefit, but to put himself on the world map of the upper management. He wont get himself involved in things considered 'too dirty' for him and has no qualms asking someone to pick up a tissue paper for him when he walks past it and did not help to press the lift door button for one of our colleagues who was helping to carry a stack of files for a meeting even when he happened to walk past and stop by her to ask her a question. And you know what he asked? He asked her why she didn't ask someone to help press the lift door for her while she carried the things?
Oh.My.Gawd. Is it very dirty or uncivilised of him to do that just because he is of higher rank than her that he's refusing to press the lift door because it would mean he was bowing down to her? You're not even the CEO lah..and even our CEO does not behave in such a manner. Wait..he's NOT even a senior executive and yet the senior executives here are more civilised than him. I was quite baffled as to why he didn't even supervise the people working under him when they were busy repackaging their stationery boxes or reconfiguring the new laptops to prepare for outfield. He didn't even ask how was it and if there were any problems encountered..which were a lot..and all were done by the leaders Haiz............please God, grant me the wish to leave this place...
Anyway, stress is doing few bad things to my body physically and not just emotionally. My fingers and a small part of my left ankle are having the itches. I've been having this skin condition which is something like eczema since very young and every now and then, they may come even though the worst was over some time in 2005. Yes, I suffered a damn long time. My ankles were beyond recognition I thought one fine day I might need skin grafts to cover up all the nasty scars. My fingers suffered too. All of them. They would be all red and blotchy and covered with small dots filled with water that will itch like crazy and the water will ooze out when scratched. NOt a pretty sight. Now it is not that obvious..thank goodness..and i thought I would never ever recover from them because there is no cure for eczema as it is caused by the condition of your blood type (and you can't do without blood, can you?) but from sheer determination, I managed to get rid of the the red and brownish looking big blotchy scars without any special expensive treatment. Maybe God thinks I have suffered enough and decided to 'poof' those scars away.
Now even though I don't suffer from sporadic itchiness every day anymore, there are three elements that will give my eczema a welcome back party with pom pom girls at the helm. One, dryness..two, dust..and three, stress. Most of the time it is dust but usually it will be just a minor scratching and it will not be any worser than someone who felt an itch and scratched a bit. Unless of course it is really dusty like someone has not been cleaning up the place for long and I picked up some items and then didn't wash my hands until some time later. But if Im under stress, that's it. My eczema will be semi full blown but only on my fingers. However, it is only temporary. Provided I put on this special cream which is a miracle to me. It does not only remove the itchiness after a while, it will also reduce the swelling and the redness. But the most amazing thing is that it will 'repair' back my skin in just two to three days reducing the ugly scars to a very very light brownish colour which blends in with my skin colour. Seriously, you need to analyse my fingers carefully to check for any signs of eczema.
But really...it doesn't mean that I don't mind getting the 'attacks' since I've got a miracle cream. Infact, I hate it coz my poor skin suffers and my fingers are a bit old looking coz they look rather wrinkly as the skin has losed its elasticity. I also noticed that the my calves are very very dry like a parched leather skin. Oh, remember that I said I got the sniffies? Eurgh..
Seriously, I don't need all this unnecessary stress. A little bit is fine coz it makes you less complacent..I think...but most of the time, it can suck you dry of energy. Yesterday, me and Mariah went out and geez..even while waiting for her, I was aching a bit already especially my feet even though I wore that pair of heels almost every day to work. Gosh, I had not even started walking yet that day! Then, slowly my knees started feeling like lead and I often felt this need to sit down but it was not convenient so I had to bear with the pain which was slowly draining me of energy.
The weather was not exactly useful as well. It was raining heavily when we reached Tanglin Mall where we wanted to take a look at the flea market. I felt so bad for Mariah coz I think that Im a disappointment to her as I didnt really scour for items. All the items were on the floor and with the condition of my knees like that, I found it really hard to semi squat without feeling the hard pressure and I couldn't squat all the way down too since I was wearing a skirt. Haiz...I didn't even prepare on what to wear for this trip so I ended up wearing this knee length denim skirt as all my pants were in the laundry. I think she must have felt that I was just tagging along side with her and not making any efforts to look for items despite her repeated reminders that I would need to seriously look through the items to find the ones that I might fancy. At times, I just took a look at the sellers and most of them are petite. I would dig through the items if they were not on the floor but in a basket or box and true enough, they all look small.
Hooray to those who can fit them. At times I didn't bother to look through at all but would just stand alongside other people who were digging through the piles of clothes and I would see if any caught my fancy. I don't know if it just me or what but most of the time, I don't fancy the items. They seriously look very aged or very boring like the kind of clothes people would wear in the past eras. I hardly see those clothing items that I would normally spot in shopping centres. Probably because they dont sell such clothes anymore. Yes I know it is a flea market after all but I do expect to see some modern clothes too and I think if the sellers were to include them along with their aged clothes which they might not have worn since ten years ago, they could sell really well. But most of the time, it was quite disappointing. Mariah, on the other hand, got herself a 5 dollars worth of sweater from Timbaland although she was sore that heels that she wanted from a certain famous brand did not come in her size. SO..........I can't pinpoint if she was really happy or not..hehe.
Gosh, I had been so busy the week before and this week doing preparations for a lot of things whether at home or in the office that I didn't even take care of my clothes last weekend. Or even myself. However, miraculously my hair bounced back to a healthy state yesterday because it was completely flat out for the last two three days. K..so my body was in a state of rebellion yesterday but it decided to be kind to me by giving back my crown of glory. Otherwise, it could have come under Mariah's scrutiny..hehe. Well, she did expect me to wipe my mouth off immediately after I put the sushi in my mouth. Chill gal...of course I would wipe my mouth as I chew. I was more bothered about the sushi spilling out coz of my 'amazing' skills with the chopstick..hehe. We're talking about expensive sushi here and it was So not gonna land on the table or on the floor. Like the napkin.
Well...today on a Sunday, my knees felt much better and it didn't feel heavy anymore. My sniffles are almost gone that I didn't need tissue at all except for one moment in the afternoon which I would blog later. Anyway, Monday is a new day and the beginning of a new week. I hope things will be better..
Tsk, sometimes Im so angry with the kind of crap given by the management and especially him that I don't know how long I can cope. We're not talking about a person with all the experience and all the knowledge in the world who knows what the hell is he doing. Infact, he's the great pretender. And if he wants to go on and on with his charade, he can do that but don't drag us into his 'perfect little world'. He lacks the quality of a leader and has absolutely no respect for his subordinates. Whatever he is doing right now is not for our benefit, but to put himself on the world map of the upper management. He wont get himself involved in things considered 'too dirty' for him and has no qualms asking someone to pick up a tissue paper for him when he walks past it and did not help to press the lift door button for one of our colleagues who was helping to carry a stack of files for a meeting even when he happened to walk past and stop by her to ask her a question. And you know what he asked? He asked her why she didn't ask someone to help press the lift door for her while she carried the things?
Oh.My.Gawd. Is it very dirty or uncivilised of him to do that just because he is of higher rank than her that he's refusing to press the lift door because it would mean he was bowing down to her? You're not even the CEO lah..and even our CEO does not behave in such a manner. Wait..he's NOT even a senior executive and yet the senior executives here are more civilised than him. I was quite baffled as to why he didn't even supervise the people working under him when they were busy repackaging their stationery boxes or reconfiguring the new laptops to prepare for outfield. He didn't even ask how was it and if there were any problems encountered..which were a lot..and all were done by the leaders Haiz............please God, grant me the wish to leave this place...
Anyway, stress is doing few bad things to my body physically and not just emotionally. My fingers and a small part of my left ankle are having the itches. I've been having this skin condition which is something like eczema since very young and every now and then, they may come even though the worst was over some time in 2005. Yes, I suffered a damn long time. My ankles were beyond recognition I thought one fine day I might need skin grafts to cover up all the nasty scars. My fingers suffered too. All of them. They would be all red and blotchy and covered with small dots filled with water that will itch like crazy and the water will ooze out when scratched. NOt a pretty sight. Now it is not that obvious..thank goodness..and i thought I would never ever recover from them because there is no cure for eczema as it is caused by the condition of your blood type (and you can't do without blood, can you?) but from sheer determination, I managed to get rid of the the red and brownish looking big blotchy scars without any special expensive treatment. Maybe God thinks I have suffered enough and decided to 'poof' those scars away.
Now even though I don't suffer from sporadic itchiness every day anymore, there are three elements that will give my eczema a welcome back party with pom pom girls at the helm. One, dryness..two, dust..and three, stress. Most of the time it is dust but usually it will be just a minor scratching and it will not be any worser than someone who felt an itch and scratched a bit. Unless of course it is really dusty like someone has not been cleaning up the place for long and I picked up some items and then didn't wash my hands until some time later. But if Im under stress, that's it. My eczema will be semi full blown but only on my fingers. However, it is only temporary. Provided I put on this special cream which is a miracle to me. It does not only remove the itchiness after a while, it will also reduce the swelling and the redness. But the most amazing thing is that it will 'repair' back my skin in just two to three days reducing the ugly scars to a very very light brownish colour which blends in with my skin colour. Seriously, you need to analyse my fingers carefully to check for any signs of eczema.
But really...it doesn't mean that I don't mind getting the 'attacks' since I've got a miracle cream. Infact, I hate it coz my poor skin suffers and my fingers are a bit old looking coz they look rather wrinkly as the skin has losed its elasticity. I also noticed that the my calves are very very dry like a parched leather skin. Oh, remember that I said I got the sniffies? Eurgh..
Seriously, I don't need all this unnecessary stress. A little bit is fine coz it makes you less complacent..I think...but most of the time, it can suck you dry of energy. Yesterday, me and Mariah went out and geez..even while waiting for her, I was aching a bit already especially my feet even though I wore that pair of heels almost every day to work. Gosh, I had not even started walking yet that day! Then, slowly my knees started feeling like lead and I often felt this need to sit down but it was not convenient so I had to bear with the pain which was slowly draining me of energy.
The weather was not exactly useful as well. It was raining heavily when we reached Tanglin Mall where we wanted to take a look at the flea market. I felt so bad for Mariah coz I think that Im a disappointment to her as I didnt really scour for items. All the items were on the floor and with the condition of my knees like that, I found it really hard to semi squat without feeling the hard pressure and I couldn't squat all the way down too since I was wearing a skirt. Haiz...I didn't even prepare on what to wear for this trip so I ended up wearing this knee length denim skirt as all my pants were in the laundry. I think she must have felt that I was just tagging along side with her and not making any efforts to look for items despite her repeated reminders that I would need to seriously look through the items to find the ones that I might fancy. At times, I just took a look at the sellers and most of them are petite. I would dig through the items if they were not on the floor but in a basket or box and true enough, they all look small.
Hooray to those who can fit them. At times I didn't bother to look through at all but would just stand alongside other people who were digging through the piles of clothes and I would see if any caught my fancy. I don't know if it just me or what but most of the time, I don't fancy the items. They seriously look very aged or very boring like the kind of clothes people would wear in the past eras. I hardly see those clothing items that I would normally spot in shopping centres. Probably because they dont sell such clothes anymore. Yes I know it is a flea market after all but I do expect to see some modern clothes too and I think if the sellers were to include them along with their aged clothes which they might not have worn since ten years ago, they could sell really well. But most of the time, it was quite disappointing. Mariah, on the other hand, got herself a 5 dollars worth of sweater from Timbaland although she was sore that heels that she wanted from a certain famous brand did not come in her size. SO..........I can't pinpoint if she was really happy or not..hehe.
Gosh, I had been so busy the week before and this week doing preparations for a lot of things whether at home or in the office that I didn't even take care of my clothes last weekend. Or even myself. However, miraculously my hair bounced back to a healthy state yesterday because it was completely flat out for the last two three days. K..so my body was in a state of rebellion yesterday but it decided to be kind to me by giving back my crown of glory. Otherwise, it could have come under Mariah's scrutiny..hehe. Well, she did expect me to wipe my mouth off immediately after I put the sushi in my mouth. Chill gal...of course I would wipe my mouth as I chew. I was more bothered about the sushi spilling out coz of my 'amazing' skills with the chopstick..hehe. We're talking about expensive sushi here and it was So not gonna land on the table or on the floor. Like the napkin.
Well...today on a Sunday, my knees felt much better and it didn't feel heavy anymore. My sniffles are almost gone that I didn't need tissue at all except for one moment in the afternoon which I would blog later. Anyway, Monday is a new day and the beginning of a new week. I hope things will be better..
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