Me Calculative
Gawd...if I don't have the slightest I.T. knowledge in me I wouldnt be able to type this out because I'd be stuck in the 'internet page could not be displayed' mode..grr...it turned out to be the wireless connection which I found out through typing a series of numbers..yes, not words..into the address bar. Yet again, I don't encourage people to ask me how the heck I did it.
Anyway, you know me..If Im bored, I'd probably end up here and this time while waiting for my turn to shower. You know yesterday, I was saying about my paranoia. Yes, Im a bona fide classic case of paranoia and my mum chided me for being so calculative over the groceries and my brother's food. Don't get me wrong here..I didn't refuse to spend. I did spend but apparently, to my mum, it isnt enough. I bought 1 kg of chicken wings instead of 2kg and she was mad at me coz she said that it wasn't enough for the family and we all eat like gluttons. When I went out with my brother and bought back a box of tenders with green tea, which he drank already on the way back, I got scolded again for buying just one box instead of two and worse, I didn't buy fries either. Look. I am not being calculative nor am I so freakinly protective over my finances but Im being viewed as one. Im the one paying the bills. Im the one who is currently supporting the family and have to sacrifice a lot just to make sure they have food on the table. I have to think twice to buy my own things because I want to make sure that there is enough money later for them. If there is, then I would buy some things for myself and it has to be a reasonable price. Besides, they have no idea that I will be the first one to know if the savings run out. Do you think I like that to happen? When that happens, sure blame it on me because you know why again? Im holding on to the finances. Play the blame game. My mum especially thinks that the money in our savings will remain like that FOREVER.
It did go down to such a very very low level in October that it drove me almost insane just thinking how am I gonna survive the next day and the next day prior to my salary. Even though it was just two weeks to my pay, it was the LONGEST wait ever and on the last day itself, my family savings, after I dried up my own savings, ended up with 20 dollars. I didnt tell anyone or my mum especially and carry on buying their stuffs as usual because I didn't want them to suspect anything. I wouldn't even end up with that amount if I didn't remember that I keep a lot of 1 dollar coins for fun and there were a few 2 dollar notes which I had kept for the kids but because we didn't go visiting, I thought I could use that money.
It's much better now and I do hope it will remain that way for a long while. However, it saddened me yesterday how my mum complained that Im such a stingy person that I have money but am so calculative over the family's expenditure. But nevermind. In this new year, I resolved not to make words get me down easily. I know what I am doing and I trust myself at that. And I also strive to save up for rainy days which I already did but will continue to do so. And oh, I will not stop savings for every month unlike last year because from my knowledge, even if I managed to save for a few months only, it would still help in a big way.Yup, you can say that I've stopped being sad over yesterday's episode.
Anyway, you know me..If Im bored, I'd probably end up here and this time while waiting for my turn to shower. You know yesterday, I was saying about my paranoia. Yes, Im a bona fide classic case of paranoia and my mum chided me for being so calculative over the groceries and my brother's food. Don't get me wrong here..I didn't refuse to spend. I did spend but apparently, to my mum, it isnt enough. I bought 1 kg of chicken wings instead of 2kg and she was mad at me coz she said that it wasn't enough for the family and we all eat like gluttons. When I went out with my brother and bought back a box of tenders with green tea, which he drank already on the way back, I got scolded again for buying just one box instead of two and worse, I didn't buy fries either. Look. I am not being calculative nor am I so freakinly protective over my finances but Im being viewed as one. Im the one paying the bills. Im the one who is currently supporting the family and have to sacrifice a lot just to make sure they have food on the table. I have to think twice to buy my own things because I want to make sure that there is enough money later for them. If there is, then I would buy some things for myself and it has to be a reasonable price. Besides, they have no idea that I will be the first one to know if the savings run out. Do you think I like that to happen? When that happens, sure blame it on me because you know why again? Im holding on to the finances. Play the blame game. My mum especially thinks that the money in our savings will remain like that FOREVER.
It did go down to such a very very low level in October that it drove me almost insane just thinking how am I gonna survive the next day and the next day prior to my salary. Even though it was just two weeks to my pay, it was the LONGEST wait ever and on the last day itself, my family savings, after I dried up my own savings, ended up with 20 dollars. I didnt tell anyone or my mum especially and carry on buying their stuffs as usual because I didn't want them to suspect anything. I wouldn't even end up with that amount if I didn't remember that I keep a lot of 1 dollar coins for fun and there were a few 2 dollar notes which I had kept for the kids but because we didn't go visiting, I thought I could use that money.
It's much better now and I do hope it will remain that way for a long while. However, it saddened me yesterday how my mum complained that Im such a stingy person that I have money but am so calculative over the family's expenditure. But nevermind. In this new year, I resolved not to make words get me down easily. I know what I am doing and I trust myself at that. And I also strive to save up for rainy days which I already did but will continue to do so. And oh, I will not stop savings for every month unlike last year because from my knowledge, even if I managed to save for a few months only, it would still help in a big way.Yup, you can say that I've stopped being sad over yesterday's episode.
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