Skip to main content

No Pity from You

Im having a bit of the sniffles here. I think I had been rather stressed out lately and never have I felt so freakin nervous like this for a long time. Im just pissed at how they rated the competency test...and then yesterday, I went for the you-know-what. I can't say in full details or I'll start thinking about it and clearly, I don't want to fall into one big heap of disappointment in the end. Well..whatever it is, Mariah and I are just going to have some fun later..hee..Yah, maybe Im a bit sick coz I've been lacking that since the start of the year. Oh, and I couldn't sleep back again just now when my dad turned on the light outside which was so freakin bright to me. Was tossing and turning on my mattress while at the same time trying to get rid of my thoughts about yesterday. Aiyoh...if I continue feeling so stressed out, I may suffer a heart collapse.


Mariah that time wrote about me not going on a single date before..hehe. Yes, Im a date virgin. Before you jump into any conclusions, I don't eat men for lunch or dinner. It's just that I have never stirred any interest in any guy to wanna go out with me and see how I pig out at a buffet table. Plus, they scare me too even though I am not against men in general. I did feel a tinge of sadness in the past but over time, I got so used to it that if Mariah didn't mention about this date thingey, I wouldn't have realised that eh...I've never been on a date leh! And I also told my colleague the other time that I can't just force any guy to you know...be my boyfriend or what. I dont know about the rest though...Im not really bothered about this love love thing. Yet again I re-confirm, I AM normal but I dunno..I don't want to dabble in it as for now because it not convenient for me and I dont think there will ever be a time when I am ready. I have no choice but to be realistic about it. Even if I am resigned to being a single till my last day on earth, so be it. So maybe you can say that I owe it to myself for having such a fate since I concentrate too much on my family rather than myself. For me, my idea of a quality 'me' time is hammering on this computer, watching cartoons and chilling out with any of my friends. I refuse to equate a single young woman like me to a no lifer.



Sorry if I offend anybody if I say this but I think people should open their mind a bit about single people. Lack of love from a partner does not mean that someone is not loved okay? I get a bit pissed when they feel all 'sad' and 'sorry' that Im still single while they are happily married/about to get married/engaged/dating. REally, you don't have to. I don't live in a cave. I don't need your pity too. If I can accept the way I am, why can't they? Did I treat them any different like 'oh, Im not supposed to mix with you people..' or have I checked myself into a mental hospital to ask what is wrong with me for acting all crazy infront of them because Im single? Seriously people..just chill ok? Don't bother about me. Im really happy for you because you have found someone to love you and I don't even feel jealous about it. But don't go about victimizing me just because I have yet to experience all the luuuuRRveeee that you're getting right now. Just leave me alone, okay? I have enough of all this and one more time, if any happily in love someone tries to be all 'sorry' for me, I am going to bark I tell you to this narrow-minded imbecile because Im losing my patience already. Like I said, my life is too complicated right now and I have to be realistic about it coz I can't just sweep this fact under the rug. Yes I know family is one thing..my life is another...and true, I don't mix both.


And no Mariah...I am not backlashing at you. Im just talking about these 'im so in love' people who seem so bothered about my non-existence love life recently and it has happened a few times recently. They make it seem like a big crime like as though I am not capable of taking care of myself for now or in the future and need a guy to lullaby me to sleep.


Seelah, I ended up being angry and I hate being angry over a small matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One Step at A Time

Hello there It has been a while, right? I used to treat this blog as a place for me to rant, talk about nonsensical things and interests that, when I think back about it, were pretty cringeworthy. But it was part of the process of me growing up and navigating through my life which is full of ups and downs, just like the tidal waves. I still need a form of outlet to write out my thoughts and I have been journaling for the last few years. At first, I was still writing nonsense, or simply writing about how my day went, but I try to make it a more conscious journalling where I will write about things that I can take lessons from or to reflect on. So how has life been for me? Well, I no longer am running an online shop where I used to do customised cards and then just specializing in box cards. I do want to have an online business, preferably one I don't have to travel to meet people.  If you read my last post about being zen, I think I have 'tripled' the amount of zen inside of...

Listen to Me

It kinda irks me when I am trying to express an opinion or sharing a piece of knowledge but it's met with strong objection or Im being cut half way before I even finished. I mean...come on...does it hurt to actually listen first, doesnt matter if u agree or not? Yes I know everyone is entitled to their own opinions but it's frustrating because I feel like a sore loser. That sort of conversation is actually begging to be turned into some huge argument if I am equally annoying and equally strong headed as well. But I dont want to do that especially if they are my friends. Then again, I am subjected to being called a wimp or somebody who cant stand up strong against what she believes in or her own opinions. That will sorta give the person a sense of pride for getting a landslide victory. At first I used to think that hey, maybe the person has a point and I am wrong. But come to think of it, that's bull! It's one thing not to argue and another thing to let ur own opinions b...

Not Gone from Good

Life hasn't been good lately especially in the last two weeks. The latest news is that it seems that almost everyone has an increase in their pay due to changes in the civil servant wage scale and very unfortunately, my group didn't get it. So my boss, whose post is that of a manager and the operations manager, have quite a significant salary rise.  I heard she got a 10% pay rise. 10%!!! look, even the attendants got a pay rise. What we got? nada! zilch! Why? Because apparently our salary is of a competitive range. Sigh, such is the unfairness of life. I'm already struggling as it is and then apparently now, the rich has become richer. The poor remains nothing but a destitute mess. So I guess the only chance for a pay rise is for me to be promoted and though I do not know how much pay rise will that be, at least it is going to be slightly better. The problem is that I have no clue when I will get promoted. I am not one of those people with many super ideas that will great...