Chance
heylo..
guess what? I am about to make a life changing decision for my PDA which has been abandoned, reborn, abandoned yet again..and now...in the process of being reborn again..heh. If my PDA can talk, it probably is cursing buckets at me for my unfaithfulness and how I trade it for the good ol' diary. Why reborn? Because with a quick thought, I finally figured out how to connect my PDA to my buttock. That, my friend, was typed by MY BROTHER when I was away for awhile talking to my mum..the nerves... I mean, I knew before hand how to connect my PDA to any computers now by using a card reader but that thought always slip my mind because in my mind, Im only thinking that the way to connect is to install the palm software and then connect it via the wire power which is a no-no if you're talking about office computers. Geez...Im so not technically advanced eh..coz I thought the card reader is useless to me since I have a thumbdrive but now, after the purchase of the reader, all my digi stuffs will be so well connected..bwahahaha!..Finally, the power of I.T. without breaking my bank account coz a reader costs much less than a thumbdrive. Tsk, why the heck am I so SLOoowww.....
And who else will be going with me to get that darn thing? Presenting the irritant..
I shall torture you my BrA deR!..and that is my mum's look of pity for him...tsk, it's just a bit of torture! What's the big deal about it.
Anyway, yet again..while awaiting for the McDOnald's 'weekly visit to rahayu's house' on a Saturday, I blog a bit lah. So, I've been doing a revisit to my past whether or not I like it..and even though I vow to move on, I can't actually escape from my past completely. So as I was looking for a suitable clear folder for the 'mass' of useless junks of house rules and crap-a-zoid, I found a picture of me like two three years ago. Me, in my 'I-cannot-live-without-my-cardigan' days. I had self esteem issues that everything about me was a pukefest. I remembered one time going to a class reunion chalet thingey in early 2003 and I was in a cardigan even though I was sweating buckets underneath it coz I was standing infront of the bbq pit helping to fan the chicken wings and hotdogs. It was something that I chose to do because I didn't want them to label me as someone who would eat the products but not walk through the cooking process..heh. Narh, I like to bbq..hehe...
So yup, this is me in my famous cardigans..
I've got a heck lot more lah but I don't want to torture myself going through them. If there's one thing i miss about the time back then when I was in my early twenties...are my friends. Where the heck are you guys? Sighz...big big sighz...
Anyhoo, yet again in the midst of trying to find the fotopage of my past photographs, I typed in the wrong address and apparently, it brought me to my old online journal or blog in modern day text. I had to stop writing there because during their transfer for something more NEW, they screwed up the whole system and it was a long long while later they resurrected older blogs like mine but by the time they fixed the bug, I had found another outlet. Thus, my blogspot address. I could not just shift like that because I had written quite a lot of crap already. I remembered that blog being the one people know me best at like my friends but there were also controversial ones that made them say..'Is that me you're talking about?!' I don't want to offend anybody yet I want to make sure I get to express myself out quite clearly without having to think again and again or practise self-censorship in case Im going to offend anybody I know in the process. Therefore, I see this blogspot address as a new beginning and even after writing for almost two years here, most of them don't know my existence here and they thought I have stopped writing. Except for one tart who did a research of my infamous name through the search engine and found out that I have actually not stopped writing..heh.
Well, now that a few of them know of this address already because they had to ask and not that I willingly expose my existence here, I guess I have to continue practising my self-censorship. However, that isnt quite a big problem for me too coz I..ahem..have another blog which in NO WAY am I revealing the address. But as nice as I am..forever...I don't use their actual names but I do rant and rave about some stinkin' stuff including one yesterday. Well, as you know, rahayu doesn't like to go around scolding people upside down so the best thing I can do to vent my frustrations is to type furiously on my keyboard and people are thinking why the heck I can type so fast on the computer keyboard. Duh...excitement=speed typing.
Well, despite my low esteem back then which trust me have not increased tenfold or something, I did like my looks back then despite the chubby cheeks and the roundness of my face. As you grow older, you experience physical changes that is beyond your control and one of them is looking more matured. So i no longer look like I was in my early twenties..and mind you...it can be a good thing and a bad thing. Sure I do get positive comments where the most logical reasoning as to this 'change' is that I may have a boyfriend which makes me change my appearance-wise like I look more made-up or something. The truth is..I still shun lipstick and powdering my face all over so I don't know where the heck they get such ideas. I got people into shock the other time when I said that I don't wear lipsticks unless I feel like it maybe once in a period of few months..coz they wear it religiously. And how I don't smear my face with foundation except for my chin and thats because I have to cover up the concealer which, in turn, covers up my pimple scars which take a darn long time to recover. Oh, plus to cover up the shadows under my eyes if I am having one of those late nights. Like I said before, I am a disgrace to the vain female population.
Tsk, I just don't believe it OTT make up because to me, make up is to enhance your appearance and not make you a completely different person that once you take it all off for the first time and show it to the world, the rest of the population will go...'EEeeiii.............is that really hER?!' I mean, so what if Im not that pretty or slim or have a boyfriend that is as cute as a button...like most of the female 25-ers in Singapore. Chey.., they don't make a difference to my life. I think this stereotype of the perfect female in my age group will soon die down and guys will realise that they should dive deeper into their brain cells than just admire girls with long legs and long torso with cute perky butt and busty chest. Oh, and with long dyed hair that isn't in constantly tangly mess like yours truly.
There's a lot of intelligent women out there who are swimming under such males' radar because they cannot be bothered with such men. The only thing that stinks is that MOST men think like that so don't sue me if I remain single by choice. Sad right? But it's reality lah..by the time you know of such a guy who will go beyond your looks, it won't be surprising if he is gay because why he ignores your flaws is that because he's busy admiring the guy next to you.
Geez..sorry for all the rantings. Coz at times Im just frustrated over some facts like some men can't get past how a woman looks even though they may be itching to get to know the woman but are stopped short by how she looks like such as how plain or unattractive she is. Don't even talk about men. Us women may also feel that way and we may not know that we're jeopardising ourselves of finding a loved one or a good friend and all because we cannot get pass his shortcomings. It's like women would go ga-ga over Wentworth Miller but won't take a second look at plain ol' average looking guys on the street. Tsk, come back to earth lah people. Let's all not be the meanest of the mean lot unless you're Gisele Bundchen who can afford to pick and choose men. Don't be the kind of women who only think with her boobs or the men who only think with his nuts.
Just maybe...there may be guys out there who have fallen for us at 'love at first sight' coz there's just something about us that they find attractive and therefore they have this one second mesmerized look at us. BUT...but but but....they lose that mesmerizing effect coz something is holding them back that they're suddenly aware that the girl is a little bigger than an average girl..or has a too chubby exterior..or has flat boobies. Haiz..just give these girls a chance. I know how it feels like to be on the other side of the fence and we do want to be accepted for who we are. God knows how many guys out there want to get to know people like us but while I may not be in a hurry for that yet, there's a heck lot of girls out there worth checking out. They're better than a girl who relies heavily on a made up look and a nose job. Trust me on this.
guess what? I am about to make a life changing decision for my PDA which has been abandoned, reborn, abandoned yet again..and now...in the process of being reborn again..heh. If my PDA can talk, it probably is cursing buckets at me for my unfaithfulness and how I trade it for the good ol' diary. Why reborn? Because with a quick thought, I finally figured out how to connect my PDA to my buttock. That, my friend, was typed by MY BROTHER when I was away for awhile talking to my mum..the nerves... I mean, I knew before hand how to connect my PDA to any computers now by using a card reader but that thought always slip my mind because in my mind, Im only thinking that the way to connect is to install the palm software and then connect it via the wire power which is a no-no if you're talking about office computers. Geez...Im so not technically advanced eh..coz I thought the card reader is useless to me since I have a thumbdrive but now, after the purchase of the reader, all my digi stuffs will be so well connected..bwahahaha!..Finally, the power of I.T. without breaking my bank account coz a reader costs much less than a thumbdrive. Tsk, why the heck am I so SLOoowww.....
And who else will be going with me to get that darn thing? Presenting the irritant..
I shall torture you my BrA deR!..and that is my mum's look of pity for him...tsk, it's just a bit of torture! What's the big deal about it.
Anyway, yet again..while awaiting for the McDOnald's 'weekly visit to rahayu's house' on a Saturday, I blog a bit lah. So, I've been doing a revisit to my past whether or not I like it..and even though I vow to move on, I can't actually escape from my past completely. So as I was looking for a suitable clear folder for the 'mass' of useless junks of house rules and crap-a-zoid, I found a picture of me like two three years ago. Me, in my 'I-cannot-live-without-my-cardigan' days. I had self esteem issues that everything about me was a pukefest. I remembered one time going to a class reunion chalet thingey in early 2003 and I was in a cardigan even though I was sweating buckets underneath it coz I was standing infront of the bbq pit helping to fan the chicken wings and hotdogs. It was something that I chose to do because I didn't want them to label me as someone who would eat the products but not walk through the cooking process..heh. Narh, I like to bbq..hehe...
So yup, this is me in my famous cardigans..
I've got a heck lot more lah but I don't want to torture myself going through them. If there's one thing i miss about the time back then when I was in my early twenties...are my friends. Where the heck are you guys? Sighz...big big sighz...
Anyhoo, yet again in the midst of trying to find the fotopage of my past photographs, I typed in the wrong address and apparently, it brought me to my old online journal or blog in modern day text. I had to stop writing there because during their transfer for something more NEW, they screwed up the whole system and it was a long long while later they resurrected older blogs like mine but by the time they fixed the bug, I had found another outlet. Thus, my blogspot address. I could not just shift like that because I had written quite a lot of crap already. I remembered that blog being the one people know me best at like my friends but there were also controversial ones that made them say..'Is that me you're talking about?!' I don't want to offend anybody yet I want to make sure I get to express myself out quite clearly without having to think again and again or practise self-censorship in case Im going to offend anybody I know in the process. Therefore, I see this blogspot address as a new beginning and even after writing for almost two years here, most of them don't know my existence here and they thought I have stopped writing. Except for one tart who did a research of my infamous name through the search engine and found out that I have actually not stopped writing..heh.
Well, now that a few of them know of this address already because they had to ask and not that I willingly expose my existence here, I guess I have to continue practising my self-censorship. However, that isnt quite a big problem for me too coz I..ahem..have another blog which in NO WAY am I revealing the address. But as nice as I am..forever...I don't use their actual names but I do rant and rave about some stinkin' stuff including one yesterday. Well, as you know, rahayu doesn't like to go around scolding people upside down so the best thing I can do to vent my frustrations is to type furiously on my keyboard and people are thinking why the heck I can type so fast on the computer keyboard. Duh...excitement=speed typing.
Well, despite my low esteem back then which trust me have not increased tenfold or something, I did like my looks back then despite the chubby cheeks and the roundness of my face. As you grow older, you experience physical changes that is beyond your control and one of them is looking more matured. So i no longer look like I was in my early twenties..and mind you...it can be a good thing and a bad thing. Sure I do get positive comments where the most logical reasoning as to this 'change' is that I may have a boyfriend which makes me change my appearance-wise like I look more made-up or something. The truth is..I still shun lipstick and powdering my face all over so I don't know where the heck they get such ideas. I got people into shock the other time when I said that I don't wear lipsticks unless I feel like it maybe once in a period of few months..coz they wear it religiously. And how I don't smear my face with foundation except for my chin and thats because I have to cover up the concealer which, in turn, covers up my pimple scars which take a darn long time to recover. Oh, plus to cover up the shadows under my eyes if I am having one of those late nights. Like I said before, I am a disgrace to the vain female population.
Tsk, I just don't believe it OTT make up because to me, make up is to enhance your appearance and not make you a completely different person that once you take it all off for the first time and show it to the world, the rest of the population will go...'EEeeiii.............is that really hER?!' I mean, so what if Im not that pretty or slim or have a boyfriend that is as cute as a button...like most of the female 25-ers in Singapore. Chey.., they don't make a difference to my life. I think this stereotype of the perfect female in my age group will soon die down and guys will realise that they should dive deeper into their brain cells than just admire girls with long legs and long torso with cute perky butt and busty chest. Oh, and with long dyed hair that isn't in constantly tangly mess like yours truly.
There's a lot of intelligent women out there who are swimming under such males' radar because they cannot be bothered with such men. The only thing that stinks is that MOST men think like that so don't sue me if I remain single by choice. Sad right? But it's reality lah..by the time you know of such a guy who will go beyond your looks, it won't be surprising if he is gay because why he ignores your flaws is that because he's busy admiring the guy next to you.
Geez..sorry for all the rantings. Coz at times Im just frustrated over some facts like some men can't get past how a woman looks even though they may be itching to get to know the woman but are stopped short by how she looks like such as how plain or unattractive she is. Don't even talk about men. Us women may also feel that way and we may not know that we're jeopardising ourselves of finding a loved one or a good friend and all because we cannot get pass his shortcomings. It's like women would go ga-ga over Wentworth Miller but won't take a second look at plain ol' average looking guys on the street. Tsk, come back to earth lah people. Let's all not be the meanest of the mean lot unless you're Gisele Bundchen who can afford to pick and choose men. Don't be the kind of women who only think with her boobs or the men who only think with his nuts.
Just maybe...there may be guys out there who have fallen for us at 'love at first sight' coz there's just something about us that they find attractive and therefore they have this one second mesmerized look at us. BUT...but but but....they lose that mesmerizing effect coz something is holding them back that they're suddenly aware that the girl is a little bigger than an average girl..or has a too chubby exterior..or has flat boobies. Haiz..just give these girls a chance. I know how it feels like to be on the other side of the fence and we do want to be accepted for who we are. God knows how many guys out there want to get to know people like us but while I may not be in a hurry for that yet, there's a heck lot of girls out there worth checking out. They're better than a girl who relies heavily on a made up look and a nose job. Trust me on this.
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