Know what..
If there's little quirks people dont notice about me..usually..my mum does. She's been harping about my big nose my entire life and okay..so Im not the conventional beauty sort in comparison to the other malay 'beauties' in my age group parading their little freaking nose and petite bods in the whole of Singapore. I've come to accept that a long long time ago so it's not a wonder if Im not a head turner or what being in the public. Im okay. Too much attention is not good either.
While people may compliment me..whether about my hair..or the top Im wearing..whatever lah..my mum will do the complete opposite. Besides the big ol' nose thingey, she would rather want me to have short hair, thinks that my hair is thinning..and would usually be the only one who notices if I put on weight. And then being stuck in the clinic which means that I dont get to go out and walk around outside and have the tendency to sit throughout the day.
So now..being stuck again..my mother out of nowhere sitting outside in the living room and me in the bedroom, noticed that my hip is a bit bigger and asked if Im putting on weight and going bigger again. Gasp..wh-what?!! She asked if I made an effort to go out and walk during lunch. I said no..sheepishly...but at least I watched what I ate and after lunch..didnt eat until the next six hours until upon reaching home later to eat my favourite bread with skippy peanut butter spread. The two times I ate more than my usual was two weeks ago at Seoul Garden and just last Saturday at Breeks. Still, she told me not good enough..coz Im sitting most time so I should walk. But I was like..tsk..it's boring and there's nothing to see there! Man...I have like two more weeks to go and then bam! It's outfield duty again..and it's back to travelling and I dunno...try to lose what extra hip fats 'that -I -dont- notice- but- she apparently- does' thingey. Heck, the only exercises I have been getting is going up and down the overhead bridge twice in the morning and once in the evening. Lousy..
If you want to know a quick fact about my mum, why she doesnt often praise me..is because she doesnt want me to become big headed or what. Well........that's not true! I er..wont! So thats why you wont hear her saying things like Im pretty or what..pfft..
What to do. Anyway, I kicked off the lunch plan today and it went okay. But coz I didnt eat my usual fare of bread bought from the bakery opposite or the cafeteria downstairs, there's a bit of 'I need more' craving but had to remind myself that girl, you sit down on this big comfy chair the whole day! And lifting the legs to place it on the other comfy chair and take a quick snooze during lunch sit-in do not count as exercise!
So you see my dilemma here and how my mum has the tendency to rub it in at the wrong time! I told her my weight is the same and infact, i even lost the extra kilo I put on prior to the clinic attachment. But that doesnt seem good enough. She hates me talking about anything to do with my weight...coz it reminds her of my aunt who always ask her if she's fair coz she takes dunno what facial or beauty products to make her fairer. Even my dad gave me a quick lecture..but not the scolding kind but a gentle reminder sort..to just look at the mirror and I can see for myself if I need to do something about my body and not to ask people's opinions coz they may not like it. See..why cant my mum has the same sort of sensitivity as my dad?! Well, what to do..she's forever blunt in her opinions but regret big time later if she happened to say something and the person may be offended. Oh..that person..can jolly well be me too!!
Okaylah, at least she jolts me out of my comfort zone a bit or take out anything that Im trying to hide and make me confront them head on. So sometimes, my mum isn't entirely a control freak but she does have her point sometimes. You know what...although it is rare for her to compliment me (diss me yes..), if she does compliment me which is all the time indirect, I prefer being complimented by her than anybody else. The other time I think I did mention about her saying my hair looks thicker now..now I take it as 'did she just say that?!' at first but then thought that she's actually complimenting that my hair looks nicer. Well, typical mum always look up and down her daughter to see if there is anything wrong.
Anyway, I still thank her for that honest remark from her. Cant blame her for being so nitty gritty over things beyond my notice. She has after all seen the most changes from me being a small crying baby until in my adulthood now compared to anybody. She has seen me grown up...blossomed (by saying I got big boobs for example)...and above all, mum knows best. Haiz, I missed her saying that I should eat rice when Im out on field duty by calling me up during lunch hour to check out if I really do. Even if I say I ate rice already the day before so Im eating bee hoon, I can imagine her rolling her eyes before she will say something like bee hoon doesnt give me energy like rice does.
And so now rahayu..is officially freaked out by her last comment just and now...
If there's little quirks people dont notice about me..usually..my mum does. She's been harping about my big nose my entire life and okay..so Im not the conventional beauty sort in comparison to the other malay 'beauties' in my age group parading their little freaking nose and petite bods in the whole of Singapore. I've come to accept that a long long time ago so it's not a wonder if Im not a head turner or what being in the public. Im okay. Too much attention is not good either.
While people may compliment me..whether about my hair..or the top Im wearing..whatever lah..my mum will do the complete opposite. Besides the big ol' nose thingey, she would rather want me to have short hair, thinks that my hair is thinning..and would usually be the only one who notices if I put on weight. And then being stuck in the clinic which means that I dont get to go out and walk around outside and have the tendency to sit throughout the day.
So now..being stuck again..my mother out of nowhere sitting outside in the living room and me in the bedroom, noticed that my hip is a bit bigger and asked if Im putting on weight and going bigger again. Gasp..wh-what?!! She asked if I made an effort to go out and walk during lunch. I said no..sheepishly...but at least I watched what I ate and after lunch..didnt eat until the next six hours until upon reaching home later to eat my favourite bread with skippy peanut butter spread. The two times I ate more than my usual was two weeks ago at Seoul Garden and just last Saturday at Breeks. Still, she told me not good enough..coz Im sitting most time so I should walk. But I was like..tsk..it's boring and there's nothing to see there! Man...I have like two more weeks to go and then bam! It's outfield duty again..and it's back to travelling and I dunno...try to lose what extra hip fats 'that -I -dont- notice- but- she apparently- does' thingey. Heck, the only exercises I have been getting is going up and down the overhead bridge twice in the morning and once in the evening. Lousy..
If you want to know a quick fact about my mum, why she doesnt often praise me..is because she doesnt want me to become big headed or what. Well........that's not true! I er..wont! So thats why you wont hear her saying things like Im pretty or what..pfft..
What to do. Anyway, I kicked off the lunch plan today and it went okay. But coz I didnt eat my usual fare of bread bought from the bakery opposite or the cafeteria downstairs, there's a bit of 'I need more' craving but had to remind myself that girl, you sit down on this big comfy chair the whole day! And lifting the legs to place it on the other comfy chair and take a quick snooze during lunch sit-in do not count as exercise!
So you see my dilemma here and how my mum has the tendency to rub it in at the wrong time! I told her my weight is the same and infact, i even lost the extra kilo I put on prior to the clinic attachment. But that doesnt seem good enough. She hates me talking about anything to do with my weight...coz it reminds her of my aunt who always ask her if she's fair coz she takes dunno what facial or beauty products to make her fairer. Even my dad gave me a quick lecture..but not the scolding kind but a gentle reminder sort..to just look at the mirror and I can see for myself if I need to do something about my body and not to ask people's opinions coz they may not like it. See..why cant my mum has the same sort of sensitivity as my dad?! Well, what to do..she's forever blunt in her opinions but regret big time later if she happened to say something and the person may be offended. Oh..that person..can jolly well be me too!!
Okaylah, at least she jolts me out of my comfort zone a bit or take out anything that Im trying to hide and make me confront them head on. So sometimes, my mum isn't entirely a control freak but she does have her point sometimes. You know what...although it is rare for her to compliment me (diss me yes..), if she does compliment me which is all the time indirect, I prefer being complimented by her than anybody else. The other time I think I did mention about her saying my hair looks thicker now..now I take it as 'did she just say that?!' at first but then thought that she's actually complimenting that my hair looks nicer. Well, typical mum always look up and down her daughter to see if there is anything wrong.
Anyway, I still thank her for that honest remark from her. Cant blame her for being so nitty gritty over things beyond my notice. She has after all seen the most changes from me being a small crying baby until in my adulthood now compared to anybody. She has seen me grown up...blossomed (by saying I got big boobs for example)...and above all, mum knows best. Haiz, I missed her saying that I should eat rice when Im out on field duty by calling me up during lunch hour to check out if I really do. Even if I say I ate rice already the day before so Im eating bee hoon, I can imagine her rolling her eyes before she will say something like bee hoon doesnt give me energy like rice does.
And so now rahayu..is officially freaked out by her last comment just and now...
Comments