Living in Regret

Have you ever lived in regret? Actually, I do and most of the time, it is about money. Of course I do have my regrets in the past where I wished I had studied harder so that I don't have to end up with sup par grades that do not give me a better paying job. Anyway, what I am thankful for at least is that I have the brains to finally pick up the pieces and catch up on my studies. If not, I won't even be sitting comfortably in my own little cubicle. 

When you have a family to support, a lot of things go through your mind. Honestly why I am so hesitant to start my own family is that I don't want to add burden to my life. No, a family is great. It is! Just ask any of our ministers who are advocating single people like us to have children. I meant, burden in the sense that I don't want them to end up being ill fed and brought up haphazardly. I see a lot of people who could not take good care of their families because they got married hastily and find themselves unable to cope with the demands. And divorce rates are on the rise. Who are we to determine that marriage will last like in the past, where couples actually work to make things happen but nowadays, we tend to give up easily if both parties are not willing to give in and compromise.

So hence, I don't want to live in regret by having my own family and not being able to take care of them later. Look at my current little family. I can't even support them properly though I am trying my mighty best to do so. 

But yet again, my life is also determined by the hands of fate so I can't really tell for sure if I truly will get married eventually.

So I did say that most of my life regrets is about money. You know how you always say oh, when you get money, you will do this or do that and then when you actually have it, your plans kinda went up in the air? Like for my case, I would say that most of the time I spend on  my family and not  much on myself. So I sometimes tend to beat myself up over trivial matters like why the heck did I buy this or that even though to be honest, they may not cost much. But when you are so tied up with money, every little thing counts. Sometimes I think of why do I have to regret over what I buy? In the first place, I have tried my best to spend within means. But you know, things happen. I can't predict what my mum wants to buy next. I can't also predict what bill I need to pay next urgently? 

Then from there, I realize my mistakes. Then I should foresee what are the coming expenditures and before I spend the money, I should have at least a plan laid out. Why? So that I don't regret what I buy. I will only get it IF I believe that I do have enough to cover whatever it is that I wanna buy.

With the recent price hikes, I have to say I can't cope well with it. My pay has been stagnant since last year.  I do hope that at least next year, I have a promotion so that I can at least be paid slightly more. May not make much of a difference but believe me, sometimes a little boost is all I need.

People make mistakes. But bearing the regret in yourself ain't going to do you any favours mentally. While some things we can foresee, for some other things we just can't. We just go with the flow of what are the things to come and it is not always that things come in our favour. That is the unpredictability of life. It makes you aware and keep you on your toes but then being human, we tend to like get lost a bit especially if things don't go our way.

Whatever it is, leave the past where it should be and concentrate on the present. As they say, the present is a gift. I believe that everything that happens in life, has a reason. Many times it only strives to make you a better person that you already are. It also makes you realize that you are actually a strong person. And if you have been weak willed, life will also show you that sometimes, you just need to toughen up to keep going strong.

Learn to let go of the past. Don't always live in regret. Whatever I have advised here, likewise I am also advising myself because honestly it is true that it can be hard to let go and not regret. I hope next time round I will wise up and learn to plan because after all, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

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