First Date Jitters

If you read my blogs, you will know that I've never been on a date for many MANY years except during my teens when I was just well..getting to know guys and that was about it. Adulthood? Nada.


I can't deny that first dates can be rather nerve wrecking from picking out what to wear, what make up to put on and whether you can come up with enough topics to talk about that will keep him interested. I picked up some tips from this magazine that I got for free for singletons like me who work in the civil service. Thought I would share with you as well as giving some tips of my own.


First of all, score a date. You can go on group dates and if you want to be a little bit more comfortable in such group dates, bring along a friend at least. Make new friends in the groups and if you catch one that you fancy in the group, waste no time in getting to know him. Because basically interest will wane over time so while it is still 'hot', grab it girl! 

Okay if you are too shy for that, just start off with small talk and make sure he knows that you are interested in what he is saying by appearing interested basically by looking at him when he's talking and not interrupting him every now and then. Body language plays a part because how you portray yourself physically, like for example folding your arms, can say a  lot.


If the person you ask out isn't too comfortable with one on one date, best is to make it a group date. Then slowly make sure you give enough hints that you are interested in him. But don't fret if he doesn't reciprocate immediately. 

Another approach is to give him SMS as another form of communication, after the group date. If he takes forever to reply, don't take it to conclusion yet that he is not interested. Probably he is busy. But if he gives you replies like K or very short ones, then girl, you gotta find your new target move on.


Discuss common interests with him. Okay you can cheat on this one. Google current hot topics and hear what other people have to say and then take the info in bits and pieces with your personal opinions thrown in so that at least there is some basis to your argument. And I don't mean argue until tables and chairs are thrown. Give him an insight that you do have a brain and you don't just agree to every single thing he said. But don't be so defensive about it because everyone has their own opinions. 

Dress wise, don't wear something too low cut or he won't look at your face, if you know what I mean. Keep make up simple like don't wear too bold colours but give a nice subtle smokey eyes in shades like mostly matte and shimmer in brown and copper tones. To make your eyes pop a bit, wear eyeliner. I don't suggest fake eyelashes on your first date. Use concealer and conceal those blemishes and wear a foundation that doesn't cake up. 


Wear some simple yet attractive accessories like a pair of studs or simple dangly earrings. Shoes? Not too sky high. Flats or a low pair of heels will be much comfortable to walk in.


Lastly, wear a nice smile so your face will light up and you will glow. During the conversation, lightly stroke your hair by tucking it gently behind your eyes to make yourself appear a bit more seductive..hehe. Don't slouch and keep your eyes focused on him.

Manage your expectations well. Sometimes we set our expectations too high that we get disappointed too easily and not give the person a chance at all. Give him some time but if it really bothers you that you just don't want to pursue this anything more than a friendship, do make sure you let him know gently that you are just interested as friends and it's not because of him. Well, unless you want to be honest and say that it is him but I don't think it is nice because seriously girl, nobody likes to be rejected flat out.


Keep in touch with him after the date. Drop him SMS and suggest a new place to check out or a new movie to watch. Find excuse to meet him just to tell him that you are interested in making it more than just a single date.


Now while you can be so enthusiastic at your new prospects, he may not share the same feelings as you. But don't make the rejection feel that it is about you that you screw up or you're not worth it. Girl, you gotta have more sass than that. There are many reasons that may not necessarily be you.


Look at the situation in a different manner. If you look back on it, just learn from the experience and see what could have been wrong. Was it because you don't open up too much like you keep mum most of the time or is it your body language? Just reflect on it. But if you think you didn't do anything wrong, then just have to accept that he's not ready to accept you as a love interest. However, see it as a way of gaining a new friend.

Whatever it is, always think positive. Sometimes things may not work out the way it does and sometimes it does. Take it as a learning experience and in the next date, make it a better one. Good luck to you! :)





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