Super Duper Love
hey...
have you ever heard of the popular phrase..'so near yet so far'...ironic isnt, it? haiz...i guess it can also describe something that I am feeling right now. And also have you ever felt like you just want to get close to someone..like the opposite sex..but...it's just so hard not because he or she is playing hard to get..jz that you don't know whether you are prepared to go beyond being just acquaintances to friends...and more than that don't say yet lah..even though we're like...ahem..wishin. Just that...the first step is hard already..and taking the second step is harder. Either that or you don't know if the person is able to accept you..especially if they can 'sense' you have expressed some interest in him or her.
I mean..sometimes I think am I that unfortunate in love or what? Is it because I don't believe in myself that it sort of rub it in a bit..by making me think I am not worth anyone's care and attention? I know it sounds like I am complainin..and no, in case you're thinking, I am not some sick puppy dog who jz yearns and yearns for some 'spark' in my love life..ahem..NON EXISTENT..love life..heh. Wouldn't it be nice to just, for once, experience how is it like? But I feel like i'm just like the majority girls...who of course...have a list of criteria which does not include 'ugly'...'bald'...we secretly wish that he's some handsome dude ready to sweep us off my feet. For me, I'm jut contented about that last thing literally onlie lah since it'd be rather impossible to carry me..bwahahaha..! I don't think anyone of us wish that we get the oddball..although maybe we'd say 'I don't care how he looks like as long as he loves me'....but you know how we can be SO in denial. Like if we say, hey..i want a handsome guy! And preferably an ang moh who closely resembles er...(*whispering* uhm..know anyone else besides david caruso? okay..thanks..) Ryan Seacrest! Mz be tall and tanned too!...people would be like...yeah right, as if you're Gwyneth Paltrow or Angelina Jolie or something.
But what if! You are lucky enough to get to know some guy who doesn't exactly fall in an ang moh category...but is still cute and likes u jz the way u are. And you find urself slobbering after him...will you still want to stick ur affirmed criteria list? Then you'd be like..dammit..I SO don't deserve him. I'd be like a freak beside him! Gawd...why can't ordinary gals like me...like someone who is nice enough to be a friend..and who knows what else. Will we be able to take the constant stares..finger pointing...frm other people who are not open enough to see that a couple doesn't mean they're twins or somewhat like that. And you know what is the strangest thing? That it's really scary...just like some of us may experience...whether are they reciprocating our actions or feelings? Can we take in the fact point blank if let's say..*gulp*...we get rejected or misunderstood? Okay, I mean at least we tried..but what if lah....it turns out to be nothing but pure disappointment. Are we still gonna gloat over it like we're some kind of useless junk not worth taking a second look?
Anyway, these are just my feelings lah...being single is still cool...but wouldn't it be just nice if someone bothers to ask for our phone number...after knowing some things about us that conjure up some interest in them? I think that is still cool too...and especially cool if you think that this person somehow seems like a good 'catch'...e.g cute and got that really sweet smile...and for once, you are proud to show him off like some prized possession. Haha...I'm just writing rubbish now as I'm procrastinating over writing the report for some project.
Well.....I'd say...believe in urself first...love yourself first..if you don't love yourself...will people be able to love you as who you are? If you think loving someone is so hard...have you ever loved yourself enough to be able to love someone as easily? And hey....break ups happen not coz of us onlie....it takes two hands to clap...For me, I want to learn loving myself first..I am still growing up and trying to survive within this age group. If you ask me, I am scared shit about commitments, let alone being in a relationship. But which dufus would wanna go into a relationship with the signing of contract that this relationship is gonna last for 6 months onlie before a pending break up..to so called look for greener pastures..or other better guys. Not that I tot I'd be so bad in a relationship or what. I am just afraid that.......I will lose control of my life...in which my life will be revolved around taking good care of my outer beauty for his sake...taking up new interests for his sake..putting on a brand new personality..for his sake too. And then, if you can't do things considered hot hip cool and happening for him...from spending e nite at some popular club..or jogging the entire 5km...will we still be considered as good girlfriends? You know how they'd be like...it's okay for them...and then behind ur back and infront of ur friends...he'd be so upset coz u're not together with him doing the things that he like. And how do I expect for him to take an interest in what I like too...not necessarily joining in them.
You see..it's complicated lah...I jz 'dig' a bit deeper and unfortunately, I onlie find mostly dirt and not gold. But for me, I'd say, if I have the same feeling as he is to me..hey, it's worth giving a try rite? At least be friends first...find out more about each other..and whether we think we can at least do some things that are of neutral standing between us...for example, just chilling at our favourite coffee joint (haha..I'll somehow 'find' one at that time!)..I guess that will still be supercool. Then, who knows what happen? And then the rest, as they say...is history. SOmetimes thinking too much about it..can make us end up think more and more negatively. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone they love too. And that's a simple fact worth pondering over. And thinking too much over..*smirks*...
have you ever heard of the popular phrase..'so near yet so far'...ironic isnt, it? haiz...i guess it can also describe something that I am feeling right now. And also have you ever felt like you just want to get close to someone..like the opposite sex..but...it's just so hard not because he or she is playing hard to get..jz that you don't know whether you are prepared to go beyond being just acquaintances to friends...and more than that don't say yet lah..even though we're like...ahem..wishin. Just that...the first step is hard already..and taking the second step is harder. Either that or you don't know if the person is able to accept you..especially if they can 'sense' you have expressed some interest in him or her.
I mean..sometimes I think am I that unfortunate in love or what? Is it because I don't believe in myself that it sort of rub it in a bit..by making me think I am not worth anyone's care and attention? I know it sounds like I am complainin..and no, in case you're thinking, I am not some sick puppy dog who jz yearns and yearns for some 'spark' in my love life..ahem..NON EXISTENT..love life..heh. Wouldn't it be nice to just, for once, experience how is it like? But I feel like i'm just like the majority girls...who of course...have a list of criteria which does not include 'ugly'...'bald'...we secretly wish that he's some handsome dude ready to sweep us off my feet. For me, I'm jut contented about that last thing literally onlie lah since it'd be rather impossible to carry me..bwahahaha..! I don't think anyone of us wish that we get the oddball..although maybe we'd say 'I don't care how he looks like as long as he loves me'....but you know how we can be SO in denial. Like if we say, hey..i want a handsome guy! And preferably an ang moh who closely resembles er...(*whispering* uhm..know anyone else besides david caruso? okay..thanks..) Ryan Seacrest! Mz be tall and tanned too!...people would be like...yeah right, as if you're Gwyneth Paltrow or Angelina Jolie or something.
But what if! You are lucky enough to get to know some guy who doesn't exactly fall in an ang moh category...but is still cute and likes u jz the way u are. And you find urself slobbering after him...will you still want to stick ur affirmed criteria list? Then you'd be like..dammit..I SO don't deserve him. I'd be like a freak beside him! Gawd...why can't ordinary gals like me...like someone who is nice enough to be a friend..and who knows what else. Will we be able to take the constant stares..finger pointing...frm other people who are not open enough to see that a couple doesn't mean they're twins or somewhat like that. And you know what is the strangest thing? That it's really scary...just like some of us may experience...whether are they reciprocating our actions or feelings? Can we take in the fact point blank if let's say..*gulp*...we get rejected or misunderstood? Okay, I mean at least we tried..but what if lah....it turns out to be nothing but pure disappointment. Are we still gonna gloat over it like we're some kind of useless junk not worth taking a second look?
Anyway, these are just my feelings lah...being single is still cool...but wouldn't it be just nice if someone bothers to ask for our phone number...after knowing some things about us that conjure up some interest in them? I think that is still cool too...and especially cool if you think that this person somehow seems like a good 'catch'...e.g cute and got that really sweet smile...and for once, you are proud to show him off like some prized possession. Haha...I'm just writing rubbish now as I'm procrastinating over writing the report for some project.
Well.....I'd say...believe in urself first...love yourself first..if you don't love yourself...will people be able to love you as who you are? If you think loving someone is so hard...have you ever loved yourself enough to be able to love someone as easily? And hey....break ups happen not coz of us onlie....it takes two hands to clap...For me, I want to learn loving myself first..I am still growing up and trying to survive within this age group. If you ask me, I am scared shit about commitments, let alone being in a relationship. But which dufus would wanna go into a relationship with the signing of contract that this relationship is gonna last for 6 months onlie before a pending break up..to so called look for greener pastures..or other better guys. Not that I tot I'd be so bad in a relationship or what. I am just afraid that.......I will lose control of my life...in which my life will be revolved around taking good care of my outer beauty for his sake...taking up new interests for his sake..putting on a brand new personality..for his sake too. And then, if you can't do things considered hot hip cool and happening for him...from spending e nite at some popular club..or jogging the entire 5km...will we still be considered as good girlfriends? You know how they'd be like...it's okay for them...and then behind ur back and infront of ur friends...he'd be so upset coz u're not together with him doing the things that he like. And how do I expect for him to take an interest in what I like too...not necessarily joining in them.
You see..it's complicated lah...I jz 'dig' a bit deeper and unfortunately, I onlie find mostly dirt and not gold. But for me, I'd say, if I have the same feeling as he is to me..hey, it's worth giving a try rite? At least be friends first...find out more about each other..and whether we think we can at least do some things that are of neutral standing between us...for example, just chilling at our favourite coffee joint (haha..I'll somehow 'find' one at that time!)..I guess that will still be supercool. Then, who knows what happen? And then the rest, as they say...is history. SOmetimes thinking too much about it..can make us end up think more and more negatively. Everyone deserves to be loved by someone they love too. And that's a simple fact worth pondering over. And thinking too much over..*smirks*...
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