Mum's Uncalled for Worries

It's a quiet quiet time in the office..time for a bit of posting for my blog. It has been a while since I last talked about my mother. Well, she's fine except for her occasional complaints about her tummy coz mid of this year, she went for ops to remover a tumour in her tummy. Then because they had to cut a minimal part of her intestine and rejoin it back with a tube inside of it, she feels rather constricted when she eats. But she still eats lah judging from her sometimes foray into cooking and uhm..cravings as well. And she still can't accept the fact that her over consumption of tomatoes may have contributed to her illness. That's the thing about her. She sometimes overconsumes and she will protest that she will 'balance' her overconsumption with something else. I don't know if it is a single contributive factor to her illness because I believe it can be a culmination of other things as well given her age.
I know I sometimes don't act concerned but I really am in a sense I don't want her tumour to come back. But because she gets terrified easily, I don't voice out my concerns and just tell her to don't think too much about it. She is actually a strong woman inside, just that emotionally, anybody can be a wreck if they think too much about it. Nowadays she keeps talking about my aunt who herself is having some medical problem relating to the growth on the side of her neck. She actually needs to get the right medical attention the hospital as the private doctor has already written a referral letter to her. But she doesn't want to go because her husband refused to let her go as he is worried nobody is going to take care of him -_-
I think that is so super selfish of him. Then my aunt who wants to obviously recover from the bouts of pain, resort to taking medicine that are not given directly by the doctors but rather, those health supplements which are so expensive because obviously they want to make money and recommend expensive supplements to her. They are so expensive, I would rather she go seek actual medical help and nevermind if she has to be hospitalised before the pain gets worse and then her tumour gets toxic. Once that happen, the toxins will go into her bloodstream and spread to other parts of her organs. Then furthermore, since she always show off that she has a lot of medisave funds, then might as well make use of them.
Sometimes why get yourself into unnecessary troubles and headaches, I wonder why.The solution is just there but we may choose to complicate matters and make it worse. Then there is also the fear of the unknown. We always think of the 'what if's.
But it's easy for us to think about the solution for other people's problems. It's easy for us to critique. Things may not be so simple for them. My aunt likes to boast or talk 'big' like some hooligan but deep down inside, she's very fearful. She just doesn't like to show her fear but instead, cover it up with harsh words and big arguments. I tell ya, she can just basically argue with anybody. It's not right of course and then worse, her daughter is picking up her skills as well because often she witnesses such arguments and last I heard, she tried to imitate her when my aunt got into one of her frequent arguments again.
The only thing I don't like is that I know my mum is worried but I tell her, what she can do. Let her do things her way since she doesn't want people to be nosey in her affairs, including my mum, although she keeps talking about it. So my mum likes to voice it out at me and I sometimes really cannot stand it coz it's often the same ol' same ol' stories. I tell her, let her do what she wants and let her think that it's recovering even though obviously, it isn't and what she is experiencing is merely temporary pain reliefs. She's a grown adult so she should know what she is doing. We can't always think for her since she herself doesn't want to listen. So rather than getting into pointless arguments with my aunt, my mum should just let her be.
I know she's worried coz every now and then she asked if my aunt messaged me or called me and what is she up to on her facebook. I just said, well, she's just busy doing her own online sales business. And I say this almost every single time till I'm this short of shouting at her coz I am so freaking annoyed and I hate to do that coz it's simply rude.
I am usually a patient person but even a calm seas can experience weather storms. I hope the two of them are in the best of health because their loved ones still need them around. I need my mum around despite at times, we are at loggerheads. I try to be a good daughter but I can't be so perfect. I have my own shortcomings too. Nowadays she's into experimental baking and often complain that her baking needs are not complete because I don't get her the ingredients that she wants because I complain they're so expensive. Yet she argues I can afford to buy clothes :S But they're on sales and I only buy the basics coz after my last wardrobe revamp, some of the basic ones like a long sleeves black top is no longer a black top in its glory due to frequent use. If there are new clothes, basically they don't cost that much and I don't buy more than I should.
So I try to accomodate to her and buy what she wants. She insists on paying back but I don't take much from her. What I get, I just use it back for our family expenses. No biggie. But as I am the current sole breadwinner, I have limitations too though I try to be as accomodative as much as I can without spending too much. And I always insist it's not an easy journey for me.
Right now, I just have to bear with mum's worries but I hope she doesn't worry too much as it will affect her health.



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