"Living Each Single Day"

Aah....the joy of a new year especially when it opens to a big bang. The time when resolutions are still fresh before it gets stale the next day itself. Or if you're like me...start on the second day itself..hee. Anyway, let me do a recap...on what went on in my life..my influences..my downfall...my up moments...basically anything. Well, one of the best things that happened in my life was the Muse Concert in January which I blogged about. The standing in the open field...braving the rain and the sun...was worth it..all 2 freaking hours of it. And I meant only the waiting time...so total, four freaking hours of standing! Fooh..a mean feat! Even though the teenagers were ruthless at first, after awhile I kinda got the hang of it coz I was like self convincing myself by saying that..'heck! I paid a bloody 70 plus dollar ticket..I deserve a right on this field too!' and then I started to seriously enjoy myself..woohoo! I LOVE YOU MUSE!! Then, I did something about my weight c...

Wow...I have three pending blog posts to do up and I think they can be a bit lengthy...so yah, be prepared for a ride. It's about the end of the year...the closing of one chapter and the opening of another chapter..some good times, some bad times..life's hardest blows and greatest gifts...and amidst the chaos, still a non existing love life..bwahahaha! Anyhoo, in preparation for those entries (mentally, that is..all crammed in my head right now), I think I need to 'destress' by watching more lame show on the internet..heh. Perfect. Excuse. But yesterday's one was really a heartfelt one. I dont know if you catch this show on tv. One of those brainchild concepts of Jerry Bruckheimer and that show is Cold Case. I used to watch the show but it's so emotionally driven though at the end of it, you feel relieved that the case is closed and the killer or killers who have been on the loose all these years are put behind bars and justice has been served. I didnt watch the...

One thing about CSI Miami is that they sometimes feature actors or actresses that I have seen before in other dramas or movies. Sometimes I will indulge in a bit of guessing game..and staring game too..hehe..as I try to see where I have seen them before. But he's a bit different coz I saw his name in the introduction already..hee. Btw, he was a guest character on Desperate Housewives.

What the hell is..CES? Self-described thingey...short form for...computer eyes syndrome. AWWW.... Im suffering from this either coz my specs are not in shape (the screws need a bit of twisting..) or Im using way too much computer. YOu know what, I think im going to put it down to both. It doesnt help that at the end of this year, 2007, there's this huge recaps and reviews of the movies and american dramas..and I get to know quite a few of these american dramas, both past and new, from the internet which I've come to love..and read, I mean since I cant watch them on TV, might as well just read the lengthy recaps. Now seriously, Im not much of a tv person but because Im someone of loyalty (self advertising: honest, kind, good willed..)..err..in terms of tv shows and labels..relationships not tested yet..I always get my ass plonked down infront of the television for some good ol' watching of fav programmes. I've been watching CSI:Miami for years and I thought this season i...

OoOO..how can she not get the gay one?! I thought the boyfriend thing will get her radar re-checked. Hello? Beefcake to beefcake?! Heh, Im stereotyping them like the girls..

I watch lame shows..as you know but this is pretty interesting. Like a guessing game. Plus, she's such a bitch to one of the guys but she got her ass bitten back later! bwahahaha!! The rest of the parts on YOUTUBE.

OOoOoo...another reality tv contest which I have no idea will make it to this small island of ours or not. Because instead of just showing female models, they have hunks. HUNKS, my friend...HUNKS!!! But I think it's not on equal par like as in the same number of guys and girls. I have little info on this show coz it just started. So I just hope they will show it here once the run is over..well, you know how things work on tv here! Why am I so hyped up? Coz this guy just blows my mind off..hee Im not able to get his photo up this page coz of..bloody copyright thing..and even though I can try to do something about that..but I dont think I want to go there coz it's from one of my fav sites. He's just got this nice set of bedroom eyes (for once, I know what that means!) BUt I am able to let you see..a..sadly..pretty far away picture of his..instead of a closed up one. It's from the Bravo network which also featured another reality tv show called Project Runway which is now ...

I so like this video snippet from two episodes of an American college drama, done in the style of a fanvid (but without the annoying background music) that I lost count of how many times I played..and uhm..rewinded it. It's just one of the (many) couples in the show..though not one of the main ones..but still pretty heartfelt. Well, it's a so called interracial relationship where this guy was just having a fling (a.k.a makeout partner) with someone from college but it's a behind-the-door thing...uhm, both figuratively and literally. But the guy doesnt want to indulge in a serious relationship as he's new to college life and merely want to just enjoy life as it is without being bounded. This open concept of his was not really wat the girl wanted but because it was a closeted relationship, she played along until one day, after a makeout session (which wasnt shown but the show opened with them conversing while the guy was dressing up to leave the room), she asked if they c...

I just realised that I know the american channels, both cable and non cable, better than the local cable channels. Why? Coz I read drama and reality tv reviews and episode guides on the internet which also tell which channel they come from. Of course they are way ahead of us like how Ugly Betty is now in the 10th episode of its second season while right now, Im like STILL ANTICIPATING for the first episode from the current season. As open as the Americans are, they do have family friendly shows which swerve away from showing too much into the lifestyles of the younger generations, aka college students and the young adults, but without completely avoiding the themes which reflect the real life dramadey of these demographic groups. Uhm, for example, premarital sex, booze and hard parties. But sometimes they do add a bit of 'colour' as a way of experimenting to cater to a niche group of people like portraying interracial relationships and single parent families. SO, it's reall...

Okay so I dont get the ,logcakes galore and that beautiful blue flower which I seriously thought was a heavily decorated edible cake, which Mariah gets at her workplace. I get uhm...lapis cake in three different flavours, one long chocolate rice covered swiss roll cake and small cupcakes with decorated swirls and a plastic christmas figurine on top (and whats up with me thinking they are edible, again?!). And then someone from HR strolls in and gave this metal jar of cadbury chocolates in unique strawberry yoghurt and blueberry yoghurt flavours. Nice. Tastes like chocolate. Okay I know. DUh. SO screw diet (as if Im on one, in the first place) and I ate the cakies slices. But then again I have been eating cakie slices the past week coz my mum bought this very expensive domino cake which looked sloppily done but if you're hungry and lives mostly on bread and biscuits over the weekend, it's a nice change. I wanna thank my colleagues for the wonderful and surprising contribution. G...

Do you know how I spent my weekend? Gloating over how careless I am with money. BUt, being the strong girl that I am, I have to just learn my mistakes and move on. Or at least learn how to survive this week. Haiz, why does God have to give me hardship right before the big payout? Or is He telling me to not lose focus on life and tell me that hey, Rahayu, you shouldnt be thinking about yourself and only about your family? To me, I know family is important, blah blah blah, but sometimes, I just feel that I should give myself some 'me' time in the jolly good world of receiving bonus and now I get blamed by my mum for not handling the money properly. Over the weekend, I was gloating over how misguided I was and how I lost control a bit over my almost non existing shopping spree, not counting handphone and my brother's ipod. But of course I wont turn the table on my family and blaming them for having a certain level of spending compared to a normal family who eats home cooked fo...

Remove one question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list. List them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she have been tagged. Whoever did the tag will have a blessing from all. 1) You like rainy or sunny day? Why? Rainy. The weather is colder and I dont panic anticipating a heat stroke when out and about in the sun. 2) At what age do you wish to marry? Above 35. Im as immature as a 15 year old. 3) What colour do you like the most? Blue. 4) If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved ones? Mum, Im sick and tired of going out to buy packed food. Go cook la! Dad, please act healthy. Bro, please be independent. 5) Where is the place that you want to go the most? Miami. Okay maybe Australia first. I love Caucasian men. On the beach. 6) Which part of you that you hate the most? My tummy. 7) When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do? Sleep it off. 8)What is ...

Okay so I have been a little 'im-not-me' but it's alright, I suppose. I will get into my element soon. Gawd I so dont really like it when out of the blue, a particular someone looks for me because Im always the 'free' one. It happens only during certain periods of time and to me, after months of silence, it can be rather suffocating..I mean..difficult to adjust hearing from that someone almost every day. I cant be myself either coz I have to act like Im always at my losing end coz Im just not bothered to go on with her rambles and her shmuck attitude that she always wil have the last words even though half the time she doesnt make sense to me. I mean, come on, between friends, why do you have to be so competitive like what do you hope to gain? Anyway, enough about that. I shall entertain you with some pics I have taken recently to make up for the lack of true blue blogging. my karaoke buddies... a colleague of mine singing an unexpected rock version of lancang kunin...

I havent been in my blogging mode this couple of weeks even though I managed to conjure up few short entries. To tell you the truth, Im not 100% well even though I think I may approach that 'magic' number' soon. I kinda experienced my second fainting spell but it was not as bad as the other time. It just felt my breath was knocked out of me even though I merely did a short sprint to the mrt lift chasing after my colleague. After that every heartbeat was quite painful that I felt like I had to sit down but of course I cant coz I was on the way to office. But I felt like a weakling and I dont know if you think that Im weird or something but I hate that kind of weak feeling. Nowadays, I go home shagged...if I conjure up a bit of energy, it's usually to watch tv at 10 on certain days and then it's straight to bed. Yes, Im the same rahayu that goes to bed late into the night after napping around 11pm but it's like now it's straight until morning sleep. I would d...

I had a little appreciation lunch by the CEO and I didnt expect to be given a certficate which is actually a testimonial cum an official letter stating my departure from the company. Sad lah to leave this company. But it's part and parcel of life. I have to move on. Maybe it's also a wake up call that I have been too complacent.   So go on...I must.

Okay....u know this is the bonus month and in this well...bonus month, I got a bit more cash than usual and since Im getting more money at the end of the month again later, I kinda am free willed to spend the balance of the money left after paying off the remaining unpaid bills and my mum's shares. Even after buying a new handphone (yes, sue me..I got a new handphone now) and an ipod nano for my brother, I still had quite a balance left. Of course Im not going goo goo gaa gaa crazy and shopping would have to wait while I refocus my atttention on to other more important things like my brother's textbooks for sec one and new school uniforms. Plus, it's a nice feeling that there IS money in my bank account which will not go away as easily as my monthly pay within mere days. I also want to make sure while I await for the bigger payout come 2nd Jan 08, I am not left with mere cents in my bank too by then just for the heck of it. I am even...*gasp*....forsaking the Mango sales wh...

Just....look at my minor pox breakout 'i had a bout of dengue' face...I gross myself out sometimes.

I am a dengue fever suspect...figures why im sick so long. And now am having the repercussion of dengue which is a mild case of red blotchy skin and my palms all red and slightly swollen. But on the bright side....I didnt suffer full blown dengue fever which would have been a different case altogether. I would have been lying on hospital bed by now and suffering for yet another week.   I dont know how I got it and my brother too had a mild case of dengue but his body system...despite his history of asthma...it has a very strong immune system which he got from my mum (apparently so does the asthma). So he recovered from his fever way quicker than me but his skin became red with rashes which were more obvious than mine.   Well, what can we say...we're the dengue siblings..as lame as that sounds.   But rest assured, I went back to work again today and I didnt suffer from extreme fatigue in the mrt train but I was holding on tight to the ra...

I went to work for the first time since last Thursday when I fell ill. I had to clear my leaves and knowing that I would be almost penniless, i thought the first two days of this week I just had to vacant myself from work. Of course back then, I didnt know that I would fall sick and take such a bloody long time to recover. I dont know what's going on with my body system and thinking that yesterday, would have marked one week already since the time I became ill, it would be no problem if I dont exert too much strain on myself. Guess what. The trip over the err...overhead bridge...the less than five minutes waiting for the bus...the walking trip to the mrt escalator..the walk down the two mrt escalators...the standing up while topping the ezlink card...and by the time, I managed to get on the mrt, I felt..woozy. It was like my blood was slowly draining out of me and I could barely stand. The trouble began when I felt queasy and I had to squat down...at the side door to prevent myself...

I thought I'll never make it. What am I talking about? Uhm, I had a serious case of the fever since last Thursday night and believe it or not, I am still not fully recovered. The fever is gone but it has taken a huge chunk of my energy with it and every movement has reduced to a crawl. As Im typing this, my fingers are shaking. Well, maybe on the flip side, at least I got it earlier rather than after payday. So is this what they call 'suffer first, enjoy later'? Im not used to these slow as a tortoise movements because if I try to speed up, my head whirls around. I cant sit for long....cant stand for long...is my body trying to tell me to slow down? If this is its idea of slowing me down by giving me a high fever........ it got me good.

I am going to kill myself. I mean, seriously...take a rope, tight it over some high ceiling fan, grab a chair..and then..hang myself.   Okay im down with the flu bug...so thus, the 'i want to die moment'.   But not onlie that, Im going a bit crazy lately coz im surfing the net and during my 'google' moments, Im high on searching for models or hunks. Gawd..the perfect physiques.........   See what a boring work life does to you..   And then I also have these 'I want to look like a model' moment too. You know these long legs, tights abs, long limbs, perfect hair and the famous fierce look.   Im also thinking why am I not slim....why cant I be hot..why this..why that...   Haiz...................   I think my mood has gone down the dumps.      

My mum went hysterical yesterday. She was at a stage where she refused to listen to me...but thats a norm anyway. I mean....sometimes I dont know what she wants or what is she trying to say coz she's always denying. And she's always turning that denial into words of anger and frustration. Then who becomes a victim? Me. Yes, yours truly...Sometimes I am so sick and tired of trying to please her and telling her to calm down whenever she is frustrated with my father and then yesterday, when he went missing again, and even though she knew where he went, she still made such a big ruckus out of it. She didnt think rationally and she started to disbelieve me and asked me the same questions over and over again like all the answers are at my fingertips. She even made me messaged my step cousin again almost 1230 in the middle of the night when he didnt respond to my earlier message about 10.30pm. She made my brother checked my phone as to whether I did send the message and forc...

Oh my goodness, I am so freaking lazy to upload pictures to my multiply account. You have no idea how complacent I have been. This morning, after waking up (for uhm...about 45 minutes after my alarm first rang..hehe)..I managed to clean up my sofa. I know what you're thinking. What is there to clean on the sofa? You...have never seen a sofa like mine. It doubles up as a dumpster..and dont let me go into the details.   You know what...I thought I would be the only one whose budget is so freaking tight, it hurts. Apparently, Im not alone. One of my colleagues in the morning, was telling me that this week, she is not able to buy for me milo because her budget is tight. Uhm, yeah, apparently my colleagues thought that Im such a nice girl that they like to buy me drinks and often they dont let me pay back...go figure. See, what niceness does to you...hehe.   Other colleagues of mine were also cutting costs but some of them were still nice to bring breakfast from home to be ...

I've watched a few video clips on the profiles of real life couples done MTV style and it's a really interesting look at how they try to overcome physical distances, family issues and even military issues. Gives you this feel good feeling about love that in order for two people to get together, they are willing to stick it in and do what is required to be motivated in keeping the love alive between them.   I guess I've written a few times before that Im a committed single which means that within a space of few years, I have kinda ruled out the possibility of a relationship due to my own life's complications. But one can never be 100% ready for love, from what I've seen through these clips. If love wants to find you, it will find you.   Although I have never come to a point where I actually have to rule out potential love interests, I secretly hope also D Day will never come. But being an open minded person that I am, I actually would not mind ...

Ah yes...my revelation on love again. You know, they often say that if you share the same common interests as someone else, you both are more likely to get along better in a relationship than if you have different interests. I think that this is half true only. After awhile, it will get boring and mundane because you keep on talking about things that you already know and wouldnt it be great to hear and talk about some other things that are, for once, different? For example, people think that a jock would rather not be seen with a geek whose interest is in chess games. But then, it will be a bore because ultimately, common interests is just a small part on why they are together. A relationship is kept going because of the love they have among each other and the spark that they share irregardless of their common traits or interests. Well...love is love..

My colleagues had been planning on what to do with their payout and based on some suggestions, they wanted to get a little something for themselves as remembrance for our hard work with this department. The suggestions ranged from a ring, a necklace...an expensive bag...that sort of luxury where they thought an opportunity like this would not come again or if it will, maybe not so soon. For me, honestly I dont have anything in mind. The only current thought is that I have is to get myself a handphone (which I have not decide which nokia model to get..or stick to the one that I..ahem..sold off), get hair treatment and get for my brother an ipod nano. But those are coming from my bonus only.   Then of course there are other considerations like my studies and my family's need as to what I am going to do with my payout later on. Mariah was also on my side when she said that it's also better for me to keep for my family since we're a single...

So it has been said that by the AGM that the company will be taking us all in. I guess I can safely say that I have secured myself a job. Right now, Im having a nagging minor migraine and I dont even know where to begin because everything is so majorly new and Im majorly not happy about quite a few things. I guess this strengthens my determination to get a new job. It seems that next year onwards, i will be doing even more intensive travelling and can you imagine, within a space of three months or so, I will have to cover west areas such as clementi, boon lay and bukit panjang for instance? Why is that? Coz okay, they are going to revert back to the previous zonal system but instead of letting people staying in the west area to do the screening within that same area for example, they are going to lump all of us together to screen there no matter which part of Singapore we stay. Once that zone is cleared, we shall move on to the next zone, say, east. One thing, our transport money is go...

At last, I may be embarking on my studies, if all goes well. Since I will be given a training grant of 2k and some payout for the special resignation scheme (not retirement, as I earlier said) and with a 2 month bonus, I think I can safely say that I may finally have enough money for my studies next year.   Plus, my mum has given her stamp of approval for me to pursue this course....provided there is enough money for the family and the course doesnt start too early.   I told her that it will commence in April, August and November. Most likely I will be able to start in April. But this means that I have to watch my expenditures come bonus and payout because that will have to standby for my education fees.   Most prob I will pay in full before I start becoming poor..haha...that I wont be able to pay for the instalments.   She advised me against taking a course in business studies but in computer since it is more in demand.   As I search, I think this wi...

Man....sometimes watching soap opera or dramas can be a drag especially whenever the pinnacle part of the show is over and then the plot becomes 'calmer', I just have to fast forward it. It's like one time, they manage to catch your attention making you looking forward to watching the next few episodes, which can be within a space of few days (can you imagine the wait in between?!) and then, the excitement dies down and I start losing my interest.   No wonder soap dramas have the tendency to last so freaking long. Maybe in the past, people like housewives would be glued on to the telly but frankly speaking, who has the time now?   But then again, being the superwomen that we are, if the drama is televised during dinner time, the working women would rush home to quickly cook, serve dinner and then, as a form of rest and a pat on the back, watch their favourite drama with great intensity. Im talking about those taiwanese or korean dramas that some of my mala...

Wow..cant believe it has been ages man. Anyway I managed to scour the internet (a treasure trove of hunks..no less) and came out with this! Gorgeous? Even though his eyebrows needed a little bit of work, and he's not so hunky unlike droolworthy Jon Fleming or as geeky as geek god Van Hansis, I think he'll pass. His name is David Moretti, 26 years old (hot 1981 former baby..someone like myself) and he is one of those actors in a movie where you'll never a) be caught watching or b) think will hardly make it to the cinemas. He's a new actor who chooses to star in one of those american cable channels rather than become some blockbuster hunk. And since I happen to fall in the category where I watch basically anything including cheesy stuffs where I could choke with laughter at the lame scripting, sometimes these cheesy movies churn out hot actors. Yah, pfft...like as if the current hollywood A listers started out with a bang. They probably banged someone first before becomin...

mariah asked me to go check out some blogs where there was this minor blog war going on. Frankly speaking, i was quite lazy to go check them out not coz Im not interested but I read these blogs before and goodness, they are merely public displays of affections, expensive gifts, love declarations and they always seem to be all prim and proper before taking snapshots of themselves looking oh so glamorous. I mean, that is their playground and they can do what they want with it even if the entries are almost to the point of vomit inducing especially if they get their guy radar all wrong. I am so tempted to say...'you call this HANDSOME?!' but seriously, it's their guy radar, not mine. Futhermore the internet is an open space. Such things are bound to happen and you just have to learn to bounce off these criticisms. But to me, to defame someone on the net is wrong too and against net etiquette. It's also a reflection of yourself on how miserable you are when you resort to su...

Well, it's good to have some little distractions in life to get you away from the problems in life. For example a good book, a nice meal, a cozy bed, net surfing, drama watching...... and... a little bit of hunk galore... I suddenly remembered that my 'guy of the week' section had been put on hold for the longest time. Too bad this guy made it to the list already...the first one some more. Haiz, the things I discover on the net. Why not in real life eh? Tsk....

Most of the time, I just dont feel like talking to my mum. I dont know....please dont get me wrong. But I feel like whenever she talks to me, it's just some fruitless conversations...or better yet, instructions....and words of hatred towards my father. She also have the tendency to repeat herself over and over....about some stuffs that she had already talked about before. I know she hates my father because she feels that he's unappreciative...take things for granted...a burden to us and so forth. But she herself doesnt know that she makes my life miserable too with her endless...mindless talks. Sometimes I feel like she's going senile already like you know how old people, when they reach a certain age, they dont know what they're talking about already and tends to be naggy over every single thing. But my mum's not that old. She's not even 50 yet but gawd......nowadays, whatever she says doesnt make sense to me. Okay, example of yesterday: She woke me up to say t...