Thank U God
Okay, so after massive blogging session for the last two days, I think I am gonna take a short break. But before that, I wanna say a thank you to my relatives, to be precise my aunt and her daughter, for giving my dad a sum of money to help support his medical expenses and also household expenses. At first, I was relieved that his appointment which I felt bad for postponing to a later date..which turned to be much much later due to a full booking...had been brought forward. I mean, I could always make use of my leave but to see him in a week after the test results were not so good, I couldn't bring myself to make him see so early. Besides, I saved just enough for payments on that particular day only including his medicine. So I was scratching my head as to how else am I gonna pay for his oncoming appointment which came too soon. It took me days to figure out and plan the finances to see if I could include expenses for that day after including other things to be paid by end of the month too. Then I concluded the best that I could do was to postpone the date and I felt really bad coz I didn't want to tell my family that the reason was that I worry I wouldn't have enough money for that short noticed appointment. Unfortunately, the only available date was more than a month later but the medicine was enough for just two weeks only.
Then, I guess God helped me on the day I collected his second batch of medicine. First, I had already tightened my purse a bit so that I would be able to pay for his medicine by paying half of my loan first. Usually I would pay in full but I just could not pay in full coz I had to somehow find the money to pay for the remaining medicine. But on that day when I was about to leave to collect the medicine, my dad gave me money to help pay the medicine. At first, I didn't want to take the money but he said it was okay because he had extra money given by one of his nieces who was also helping his elder sister to help him. I guess she knows that it is a rather big burden on me to cope with my family's finance. I just could not thank God enough for it because at least the money that I had kept aside could be used to cope with my family's expenditures instead.
Then after a long wait, apparently they were in negotiations with my father's doctor to push backwards the previous date of appointment considering his test results were seriously not good. Somehow they managed to do that due to the seriousness of the case and the next appointment was just a day after my payday. Thank God coz at least I would have some money to pay for the consultation and also the medicine. On that day itself, when I was waiting for my turn to pay the bill, my dad handed me his ATM card which I thought was strange coz his account had been closed a long time ago ever since he stopped driving the cab. That account was previously used to deposit rental money. He said that he recently received a sum of money from our relatives to help him cope with his finances and I thought that maybe it was not that much so I said that I have the money already. But he insisted saying yes it is enough and this is just between me and him only because he doesn't want my mum to know.
Of course I was happy and even though the card is solely in his possession, I don't think I want to touch the money. For now, after knowing roughly how much he has deposited, I can only thank God that at least for now, I don't have to worry so much about his future visits in the hospital. I would still be saving for rainy day and I don't think I would ask to use his money to pay for certain monthly payments coz I can still handle that. Besides, I was such a wreck when it came to maintaining the family's savings because I just can't say no to my mum so I think keeping her in the dark over this new savings will be for the best interests of my family. If there is a chance for me to start all over again, I will and the next bonus pay out will be my starting point and I will never abandon saving money every month. Like I have mentioned previously, my savings saved me during this crucial month even though I restarted quite late and it at least lasted till right up to the last day prior to my payday.
I can't thank them enough and I can't thank God enough either and I hope the money will be well spent since now my father is holding it. For now I don't want to think the money exists except during the hospital visits. And another good news I received is that my dad's future appointment has been prolonged further to 10 weeks later because his results were much better this time round. I also thank God for letting my family to listen to my advice regarding my father's diet and how much I worry for his health. I know that he cannot entirely be cured but I just don't want him to become such a bad state. I want to thank my mum for understanding finally what it meant for me to see him avoid the typical Indian and Malay foodfare not because I want to restrict him from enjoying the pleasures of eating. But I don't want him to end up worse off for fear that I don't know if I am able to keep up with the expensive medical bills for the dialysis treatmens. I know that if you are not fully subsidised, the costs can be so expensive that I heard of stories where people resorted to selling their house so that they can pay for the treatment.
Yes, I do feel bad that I thought I restricted him way too much but when I gave leeway during the fasting month and the week after that, due to pressure from my mum to let him enjoy his food, his test results turned out to be very bad. I really find the time to explain to my parents why I have to be so hard at times even though that is usually not my character. My real character is more soft spoken and gives in rather easily. But I can be very stubborn headed some times especially when it is for my own good. In this case, I just don't want my family's future to be bleak and if we can prevent it, we shall prevent it from coming. When I reprimanded them and held them responsible for the poor results, I also tried to be logic and it was hard but later on, they know Im doing it because I love my family. My mum also had to explain to my father to not go out too often to buy outside food. At first, he always remarked that he only had a little bit but soon after that, after being psychoed by my mum, he only bought it for the family like my brother and my mum but no longer for himself. Even if he does, it will only be one small piece like one prata or tosei rather than the whole packet of mee goreng.
When I heard that the results were much better and she no longer had a problem with that, which is quite rare for diabetic cases, I was ecstatic. The minu te she said she didn't have to see him so soon and only ten weeks later rather than the usual 6 weeks, I was even more ecstatic. I don't have to worry every time the date for check up is coming and I have to make sure I have enough money for that day. The money that my dad received will also be more well spent for ourselves even though I would still be saving up just in case because I don't want to put any financial burden on my dad. But that ten weeks extension also meant another thing: I have been successful in controlling my dad's diabetes and its other side effects after lecturing them about my dad's diet and the painful thing he has to go through if they don't listen.
One more time, I want to thank God for making our family's life easier and for my parents to start listening to me. It is not easy being the sole breadwinner but I am determined to provide the best for my family.
Then, I guess God helped me on the day I collected his second batch of medicine. First, I had already tightened my purse a bit so that I would be able to pay for his medicine by paying half of my loan first. Usually I would pay in full but I just could not pay in full coz I had to somehow find the money to pay for the remaining medicine. But on that day when I was about to leave to collect the medicine, my dad gave me money to help pay the medicine. At first, I didn't want to take the money but he said it was okay because he had extra money given by one of his nieces who was also helping his elder sister to help him. I guess she knows that it is a rather big burden on me to cope with my family's finance. I just could not thank God enough for it because at least the money that I had kept aside could be used to cope with my family's expenditures instead.
Then after a long wait, apparently they were in negotiations with my father's doctor to push backwards the previous date of appointment considering his test results were seriously not good. Somehow they managed to do that due to the seriousness of the case and the next appointment was just a day after my payday. Thank God coz at least I would have some money to pay for the consultation and also the medicine. On that day itself, when I was waiting for my turn to pay the bill, my dad handed me his ATM card which I thought was strange coz his account had been closed a long time ago ever since he stopped driving the cab. That account was previously used to deposit rental money. He said that he recently received a sum of money from our relatives to help him cope with his finances and I thought that maybe it was not that much so I said that I have the money already. But he insisted saying yes it is enough and this is just between me and him only because he doesn't want my mum to know.
Of course I was happy and even though the card is solely in his possession, I don't think I want to touch the money. For now, after knowing roughly how much he has deposited, I can only thank God that at least for now, I don't have to worry so much about his future visits in the hospital. I would still be saving for rainy day and I don't think I would ask to use his money to pay for certain monthly payments coz I can still handle that. Besides, I was such a wreck when it came to maintaining the family's savings because I just can't say no to my mum so I think keeping her in the dark over this new savings will be for the best interests of my family. If there is a chance for me to start all over again, I will and the next bonus pay out will be my starting point and I will never abandon saving money every month. Like I have mentioned previously, my savings saved me during this crucial month even though I restarted quite late and it at least lasted till right up to the last day prior to my payday.
I can't thank them enough and I can't thank God enough either and I hope the money will be well spent since now my father is holding it. For now I don't want to think the money exists except during the hospital visits. And another good news I received is that my dad's future appointment has been prolonged further to 10 weeks later because his results were much better this time round. I also thank God for letting my family to listen to my advice regarding my father's diet and how much I worry for his health. I know that he cannot entirely be cured but I just don't want him to become such a bad state. I want to thank my mum for understanding finally what it meant for me to see him avoid the typical Indian and Malay foodfare not because I want to restrict him from enjoying the pleasures of eating. But I don't want him to end up worse off for fear that I don't know if I am able to keep up with the expensive medical bills for the dialysis treatmens. I know that if you are not fully subsidised, the costs can be so expensive that I heard of stories where people resorted to selling their house so that they can pay for the treatment.
Yes, I do feel bad that I thought I restricted him way too much but when I gave leeway during the fasting month and the week after that, due to pressure from my mum to let him enjoy his food, his test results turned out to be very bad. I really find the time to explain to my parents why I have to be so hard at times even though that is usually not my character. My real character is more soft spoken and gives in rather easily. But I can be very stubborn headed some times especially when it is for my own good. In this case, I just don't want my family's future to be bleak and if we can prevent it, we shall prevent it from coming. When I reprimanded them and held them responsible for the poor results, I also tried to be logic and it was hard but later on, they know Im doing it because I love my family. My mum also had to explain to my father to not go out too often to buy outside food. At first, he always remarked that he only had a little bit but soon after that, after being psychoed by my mum, he only bought it for the family like my brother and my mum but no longer for himself. Even if he does, it will only be one small piece like one prata or tosei rather than the whole packet of mee goreng.
When I heard that the results were much better and she no longer had a problem with that, which is quite rare for diabetic cases, I was ecstatic. The minu te she said she didn't have to see him so soon and only ten weeks later rather than the usual 6 weeks, I was even more ecstatic. I don't have to worry every time the date for check up is coming and I have to make sure I have enough money for that day. The money that my dad received will also be more well spent for ourselves even though I would still be saving up just in case because I don't want to put any financial burden on my dad. But that ten weeks extension also meant another thing: I have been successful in controlling my dad's diabetes and its other side effects after lecturing them about my dad's diet and the painful thing he has to go through if they don't listen.
One more time, I want to thank God for making our family's life easier and for my parents to start listening to me. It is not easy being the sole breadwinner but I am determined to provide the best for my family.
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