Reminiscing the Past on Repeat

Recently, my mum went to a wedding of one of her ex neighbours from kampung or village back in her childhood days. The daughter of one of the siblings got married. My mum kept talking about them up until now like it's my greatest interest of the world. But I am just trying to be a daughter with a listening ear. After her health crisis last year, I try my very best to listen to her. I know how it is like losing a parent and my biggest regret was treating him like a stranger when he was very sick.

For my mum's case, she is very neurotic. It is not easy entertaining her mood swings and constantly listening to her self assurance when things don't go right because she is also stubborn enough to not listen to me. When she's pissed, she's pissed and I have to listen to her plethora of mood swings until she calms down herself.

One of her pet peeves is not being paid attention to. And since I am too tired to go into arguments with her because she can really be so long winded in her nagging, most times I try to listen to her talk and talk.

Though I admit I am not that interested because seriously I have heard her say almost the same things again and again, I think about this. She is just lonely especially when we are out at work and at school up to late evenings. She can't talk to the tv. She doesn't go out with her friends. So it is pretty understandable to wanna have someone to talk to when there is.

What to do..I just want her to be happy and even though her baking and cooking ventures put a dent in my finances, it is just a way for her to occupy her time and to make sure we eat good healthy food. I also know that she likes to recall how popular she used to be in the past where guys of different races used to chase her. She looked at my sorry state of singlehood and she can't help but think too why the sane thing doesn't happen to me.

Nowadays she has taken an interest in my single life and lamenting on why no one has expressed interest. Because of such interest, suddenly she even dared to say I'm pretty coupled with testimonies from my relatives who wonder about the same thing too coz they too said I'm getting prettier.

What to do. It is fated. I mean the part that I am destined to be single, haha..a fact that I am so used to already. Now when my mum talks about husbands with attitude problems, she likes to add in that not all men are the same as if trying to tell me it shoudnt stop me from wanting to get married.

Seriously now I couldn't care less already. I used to wish in the past how I wish I could date a guy coz the last one was when I was sixteen which is uhm...fourteen years ago. So when my mum kept harping on the fact that she used to be popular blah blah blah, and why I'm not blah blah blah..it mostly fell on deaf ears.

To me what is in the past, remain in the past. Just concentrate on the present with a future in mind. That's what I'm doing as well when I listen to my mum talk and talk. In future I don't know if I ever get to listen to her stories anymore. In life, nothing is for sure and therefore treasure your loved ones when they are still around..even when they go on repeat mode.
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