Financial Turmoil and Cyber Begging

The thing about money is that sometimes you have, sometimes you don't. It's really hard to save when I'm the only income earner and I don't get to save much and even if I get to save, I always have to make use of them coz money is never enough for me, no matter how much I have. So, in a way, I couldn't care less already because whatever money I have, it will surely be spent and mind you, it's not on me entirely but mainly for my family. But it's okay. I always feel that when you do good, things will get better someday. You will never find yourself in difficult situations all the time. Of course when you do, you can only hope for the best, try to find the best solutions, even if it is not going to be easy, and then wait for the time when things get better.

I've worked out a budget plan, while showering no less, that will allow me to minimize my bill payments up to  when I get my mid year bonus in July of which it has been announced through media today. It has been worked out in such a way, by the time I get my  bonus, I don't have to spend a chunk of it paying off my bills. Yes, I work in the public sector so basically they will announce how much bonus we will be getting and by this, my mum also knows I will get munneh so there is no running away. Of course I will still give her a bit of extra pocket money like any 'good' daughter would. I already feel bad that she does laundry for my clothes and cook for the family though she just enjoys cooking and baking, especially after her surgery last year like it's some kind of revelation for her. Go figure. 

While I admit that this has caused me some financial headache, like I said, I can't always deny what she wants coz she is going to make things even more difficult that it already is and I don't like it when she blames her own misfortunes for the financial hardship. Though I am not capable of providing more for the family, it's just not in me to make her suffer so I always try my best to help my family though it does give me headache at times especially when my savings dwindle down so fast.

So I feel torn at times. But like I've said, as long as I have my means, I will just continue to provide for them in the best of my abilities even if I have to sacrifice a bit or go through leaps and bounds. 

I watched this show recently where at the end of it, a religious lecturer would talk about the show and discuss about what are the things that are wrong and how we, as fellow human beings, should rectify our mistakes for the better so that in the afterlife, we do not have to suffer. Infact, he also said that at times the difficulties in our life stems from the impurity of our heart especially when we have a lot of wrongdoings. We may not know it but if we look deep deep within our soul, we will truly know if we have made mistakes that end up with having such extreme difficulties.

While I do think he is right to a certain extent, I also feel it's just a test from God for us to see that we can't expect to breeze through life just like that. Hardship teaches us the meaning of life and the importance of being kind and humble. It teaches us compassion so that we have respect for fellow human beings who may lead a life of hardship and be worse off than us. It also teaches us that life isn't just about making a lot of money and enjoying life. It's about how we learn to be happy without resorting to material wealth and we learn to love and respect other people across the board, irregardless of race, religion and sexual orientation.

At times, in order for me to help my family, I have to resort to 'tough love' especially towards my mum who always worries if we run out money because that last thing she wants is to know is that we don't have the money like seriously, how to continue living like that. Tough love in a sense, I have to be realistic. I can't give her the moon and the stars if she asked for it. If I can't provide, I will just say that I can't afford it all the time and the next moment, she will throw tantrums and I have to give in or she will sulk the whole day making the situation even worse. Right now, she is really into baking and I have to keep buying butter, which mind you isn't cheap, and also kiwi fruits and each one of them cost $2.40 :S and she wants the better qualities one and not those from the fair price supermarkets who may charge lesser but the quality sucks. Like to me, seriously, bread is bread. To her, there is a difference between this bread and that bread, something along that line.

I would say it is a truly juggling act. When my mid year bonus comes in, I will try my best to extend its 'lifespan' and I already planned to just go for the Mango sales and buy a couple of new tops coz they're seriously looking worn out and let's see, a pair of good sandals which I can wear to work coz they are worn out too. The money will mostly be used to pay back into my reserves so that in the next few months, I have something to fall back on. 

Oh well. I don't like to keep thinking about my financial difficulties because I already learn that money will never be enough for a family like mine. I just have to learn to spend wisely and learn to be realistic and be firm with my mum if I really really can't afford to get all that she wants.

Okay, I'm going to do a bit of uhm...cyber begging. I'm really short of cash and if you would like to help me, you can help to donate $10 to $20 to me. No obligations. I don't ask for much. Can donate to me at

POSB Savings


I can accept cheques too. Can let me know through my email for my name and other details at

I will give a shoutout to you (unless u want to be anonymous) and I can never thank you enough..

ps: do let me know if you have donated so I can thank u personally :)

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