The Week Before Payday

hey....

weekend blogging! I actually like to blog on weekends..dunno why. Maybe, coz I get to recap the events for the last week. In terms of finance, there wasn't a major setback although I do worry that the internet is going to be cut off soon. Infact, Im not speaking about internet bills but my other bills as well which I have not been able to pay due to me not getting my pay yet. I only need to hold out for this next few days, more precisely..the weekdays, and finally! Finally, Rahayu's efforts for the last dunno how long ago (I know it's more than a month) in working her ass off her new job, will be appreciated, thank U very much.

But of course, it's not all 'yay! it's shopping time!' for me but my first priority is to pay the bills and after an estimation, it will be close to a 1k..*gulp*. Then again, after plus minus-ing the figure, it will probably be about $800. Ok I know this habit may somehow get me into trouble in the future (read: escalated unpaid remaining bills) but I think I pay quite enough for each bill. (read: not that little).

I've already succumbed to my fate that I will never be well off and live in some kick ass big bungalow with a maid to do my laundry and iron them before I go to work. Hrm, but knowing my mum, she wants things done her way so fat hope for that..which means...the laundry and ironing will still be rightfully hers, rich or otherwise. Anyway, my point is that I just have to continue to learn to be thrifty because it is not easy being the sole breadwinner of the family. It's really tough especially when you live in Singapore where things are super expensive and yet your pay is as miserable as ever.

But God is great. He does help me out at times but most importantly, He makes me think about my family plight and staying strong in the process so I wont turn a blind eye to my family's situation and run away from all the problems. I have a friend who nicknamed me among her other friends as the 'runaway girl' because she felt that Im so obliged to fulfill my responsibility towards my family and how much Im suffering under such circumstance that the only solution for me is to actually run away.

First thing first. Where am I going to run to? And secondly, it is the same as shrinking from my responsibility and leaving them to fend for themselves which they are unable to do so. Plus, I would only acquire a big chunk of a sin. It will bounce back to me and I will not be able to live in peace for as long as Im alive. God will never forgive me also.

After that health scare last week, where I was experiencing tight chest pains for a couple of days, my mum had been reminding me that I must learn to take care of my health because they need me to keep the family together. Dont even talk about my father. Nowadays, he likes to go to his sister's house and stay there for days as if he's some lonesome bachelor. Even people older than him are still working to fill up their ricebowl. His illness is just an excuse. It's not as if he is without medicine or what. To him, his diabetes is like a death sentence. So my mum has practically washed her hands off my dad.

If his family wants to criticise our family, go ahead. Im sick and tired of their nonsense. If they also think that my father is better off staying there, go ahead..let him stay there. It's not as if there is any difference if he stays here anyway.

Harsh I know but it's the truth. Whatever it is, I think I have other things to worry about which revolves around taking care of my family. Like right now, I worry so much about what the content of the registered postage which I have yet to claim. We didnt manage to open the door on time for the postman so he left us with a photocopied front cover of the letter and it had my parents' names on it. To me, it spelt like bad news since you know, I didnt manage to pay any bills last month. And nowadays, you know the deal. They like to spend money hiring the services of private law firms because they think, that with a little threat, we will finally pay out. It's just one of the things why I simply HATE staying in Singapore, apart from the obnoxious people with their lack of mannerism.

Gosh, that's a lot of rant and rave. And I havent even come to my work part. Anyway, the only good thing is that in the next few days leading to my pay, I dont have to struggle that much in terms of financial coverage for my family's daily expenses but I dont want to speak too soon. So I'll just leave it as that. But I got a feeling my mum knows that I have a bit of money left after she said that if I get my pay, she wants to buy food from a popular restaurant at Haig Road because she likes the rendang (some kind of meat dish) from there. And I think I forgot to do my scrunched up face at the thought of spending money on food that will cost me quite a bit especially during times when my savings run low. So in the afternoon, without a blink of an eye she assigned me to go there to buy food and hauling my brother with me. Haiz...why did I forget?!!

Workwise, Im still okay as long as I have something to do. I know that I will probably not have the kind of bond that I shared with my ex colleagues but nowadays, I try not to think too much about that. At the end of the day, I want to get my job done with no mistakes, learn from experience and be paid on every 12th of the month. I dont want to think about how my colleagues joked among one another but not with me. For me, as long as they help me to cope with my new job responsibilities, I'll be fine.

Let's hope the weekdays breezes by quickly leading up to a sweet payday on Saturday. Based on calculations, I guess I will have enough savings to last me till my next pay day. But, I dont want to count my chicks before the eggs hatch. I sound so butch when I say that.

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