Something's Not Right

Today Tuesday is NOT my day..at least in terms of work wise. Already earlier in the week, I had already established that Im not going to be so sour that I dont get along with my current colleagues as well as I did with my previous colleagues (well..at least some of them). I only plan to concentrate on work, make less mistakes (uhm, actually no mistakes..but that's near impossible). But alas, so not working!

I wasn't reprimanded by my supervisor and funny, I wasnt so upset. But of course, there was a tinge of 'eurgh..'...yes, that bit of awful feeling. I guess, like what I had said earlier to Mariah, I take it all in my stride because as a newbie, mistakes made are common though it does suck. Today's case was a case of, well...to cut the long story short, what I was supposed to do, I didnt do and what I was NOT supposed to do, I did.

Im okay...coz I think that in all dull moments, there were some up moments. Like how I attended to this P1 kid, who took his time to tell me his situation though I must applaud his bravery. He was like telling me...'I wait for my bro..ther....and...he.....is supposed to.......wait..for me.....at the..can....teen.'...I was like aaah....'can you say again?' And he continued, in his wet shirt and all, 'I thought I...have...reme....dial....and...and...I forgot....today...I dont have.....and...I told......my father.......I....have....' It was much much longer than this and the poor kid had to repeat one more time coz I think I fell asleep halfway listening to his story..heh.

He came in at least three times to see me because he got bored waiting for his brother to finish his remedial and I was like..you can do your homework first while waiting. But obviously, he got bored again and he came in and asked me to call his brother down. I think his class was shifted somewhere else instead of his usual class because there was no one in the class when I paged so the poor kid had to wait at the side of the porch near the security area. Well, it did have a happy ending later when the elder brother finished his remedial and they were walking together while waiting for their dad to come and pick them up.

Well, my colleague behind me, if you hear her talk, can pretty much tell she has a very bubbly personality amidst her constant busy moments since she is dealing with payments and has to chase the teachers for invoices and etc. But she doesnt really talk to me in that personality mode of hers but just in terms of work and if she does that, she will look serious. I dont know if she's agitated by me since I like to ask her quite a lot since there are so many things that Im not sure of. If she feels that way about me, then Im sorry but trust me, I am not so unfair as to keep questioning her only and I do ask the rest too except for that one guy coz he's an old timer and he looks like he's pretty much sick and tired of everything that's going on already. I know she's busy and Im sure they all are too. It's just that I dont think that it's my fault if she's having problems with the teachers submitting late invoices so if she thinks Im disturbing her, well again Im sorry if I ever do.

You see, the thing is that if I dont ask around, I will get reprimanded for not finding out first. And I do get 'gentle reminders' that oh, you're supposed to do like this..or do like that..you have to ask this or ask that...so I pretty much get it in my head already that Im supposed to find out first. It's not all green light for me.

But it's okay. I know they all like her for her bubbly personality and most teachers who come down zoom in on her though they are pretty much the same people who irritate her also. Now I know this is something that I should not comment about but I dont think she's as busy as what she is portraying herself to be. I dont deny that she has work to do but I think her 'act busy' is just a put on coz I do see her play facebook and chat online too whenever I pass by her cubicle. I mean, okay I do too but in her case, I think she's just acting it up for the supervisor by fluttering here and there like there's tonnes of things to do though from what I see, she's mostly clearing invoices.

I dont want to condemn her so much coz she is helpful and taught me quite a lot too when I first joined. It's just that I dont really like it when she starts joking around in the office in her 'bubbly' mode, because it will also feel as if she is treating me like Im invisible.

Not really sure how to describe that but I can tell you, nowadays I dont care. Like I said, it felt like a big act...showing that she can really work...and really joke around as if she's trying too hard to impress. Seriously, that is my perception on her and it's really pretty obvious.

At the very least, not all are like that. One of them, who is years older than us, was really kind to me just now and this was not the first time. I really cant thank her enough. She's quite the opposite of the one I described of earlier. She, in contrast, when she talks, she sounds serious and she has this 'I dont give a damn' attitude with the teachers coz she believes they're not worth giving face to. Oh about just now, when she heard my supervisor making noise, she came to me and was like trying to help. She was like..okay..so what is else is pending, and I told her there was one more thing but the VP was busy attending to some filipino guests so she said, okay..can give to her later. Apparently, I found out she hates noises and I dont mean it in a bad way because seriously, who does?

Oh, and about the counter duty, I was also a bit pissed last week coz it was not my duty week and in the afternoon, it was supposed to be that 'bubbly' girl's turn in the afternoon. The morning one was that old timer and yet, they were not doing their counter duty like how they were supposed to do. I was practically going up and down from my cubicle and the CCA co-ordinator sitting near the counter was also attending to the visitors. Please lah, as busy as you guys portrayed yourselves to be, it's really not fair to chuck the counter duty to other people coz it's not their turn. Be fair ah.

The only one who did her counter duty as scheduled (apart from me, that is) was the colleague who has been helping me pretty much a lot and talking to me as in more than just 'colleague talk'. When I got up to attend to the visitors in the morning, since like I said I was nearer than her, she said to me, no need, she would attend though her cubicle was slightly further than mine. See! that is what I call model worker and it's no surprise that she's of higher grade than them all (including the old timer) and yet she is so modest about it. Oh, and she doesnt have to pretend to flutter around like she has 1001 things to do. Yet I know she's all work coz she doesnt even chat or play facebook.

Seriously, I dont really enjoy taking up much space in a blog entry talking about my work but tonight, I just felt like I wanted to air my unhappiness. I still feel that Im not going to let it go to my head but it's just that for a week or so, I have been figuring out that something's not right apart from me trying to cope with life as a newbie office worker. NOW I know ever since I was not happy about them not doing their counter duty properly and yet, when I was sitting at my table for awhile, my supervisor thought that I was not doing my counter duty properly.

Okay whatever. I have said it once and I have said it again, I will only concentrate on improving myself as well awaiting for my first pay with this organization. Oh yes I will....

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