Reflections on Birthday

Happy Birthday to Rahayupopz!!!

This year's birthday is a bit sombre coz I felt like I kinda lost control or grip of my life and it has been a struggle trying to live each single day. There was happiness but unfortunately, it was short lived and Im back struggling to keep my head above the waters.

But I take this opportunity to straighten my life out a bit and pick out broken pieces along the way. So far, I'm handling things quite well with the usual self sacrifices along the way but still...I try to think positively like how i stand to benefit from it rather than think the other way round instead. I hope God will stand by me in whatever decisions I made and help me to lighten my burden a bit too.

Life is not easy and I totally understand that so I just try to put my mind in a relaxed mode and not to think too hard about why this or that has to happen to me. So far, at times I manage to zonk out a bit and be immersed in a world totally different from mine and even though it's just a made belief world, well...I cant help but think sometimes like what if this is a reflection of real life? It's like one moment you're so in love with this person, plan your future with this person in mind and then the next moment, he vanishes from your life just because you both cannot come to terms over something that is considered trivial. Either that or one of you cannot accept things as they are and would rather be masked behind something else which is not a true reflection of himself or herself for fear of wat people may think.

So the next question is.....do we always have to pay attention to what people have to say or think? Are we mere puppets to them? Who are they to define what is right or wrong?

I guess at some point of time, people will always struggle along the way but somehow, we can emerge victorious and be the envy of those naysayers. I can do it..Im a fighter.........

Even though there is no birthday cake this year and Im not planning to buy it either although the chocolate cake at prima deli where I usually buy the waffles look tempting, it will have to be a no go this time. Im a bit sad but I just think the money spent on the cake is better spent on the family instead and to me, that is more important.

To me this year, there is nothing that I would think would be a perfect gift to me whether cheap or otherwise...although a mango blouse would be good..but im just saying! Im happy to get whatever people give to me..IF..they do lah. So far birthday wishes are suffice and Im thankful for whatever wishes I have been getting. Hrm, including one mysterious birthday wish right at the stroke of midnight which I have NO IDEA who the heck is it. I tried to check the number on my brother's handphone which was previously mine in case the number was stored in the phone memory. I thought that it was an old friend of mine and I asked another friend who knows her too and she said no, that number is not familiar to me.

Back to my old phone, there is no such number. That means this person is not from my previous contacts. I know what you're thinking.....secret admirer..pfft.....but I dont think so lah, I dont know any guys that are worthy..bwahahah!! I just said thanks even though it was a forwarded message of a bear blowing out the candles. Im only amazed at the accuracy that even my own good friend was beaten to it...coz..er...she had to go toilet last minute..what the...so the tradition kinda got cut off there..haha.

Enough about that....anyway, I thank you all for your kind birthday wishes. Even I would not wish so early right after midnight or even in advance...uhm...except one.....coz I got her birthday date wrong..hee.

Alright now! Time for my own tradition..to wish upon a star. I know it's just a myth but dunno lah, somehow it is something that I do every year although I dont keep track if it comes true or not la.

Well gal.....

Happy birthday...