Post Bdae Reflections
Helllooo.....
wondering why the title and a bit of intro to my previous entry with the photos did not appear. Im too lazy to work out the 'edit html' portion. Well, it was a sombre celebration of sorts...it was more like catching up with a good friend of mine who took her time off her very the busy schedule to spend time with me talking about her school, my life..our lives basically..and coping with parents who are under medical treatment. She was telling me about her crushes from her school...students on exchange programme...and knowing how jovial and friendly my friend is, it's not a surprise that somehow they developed feelings for her. The only catch is that they're too young for her lah! she's in her late twenties but these buggers are in the early twenties. However, they take it as though she's denying them coz she cant move out of her indian tradition or that she's too closeted or narrow minded. But she told me the actual truth was that they were too young for her! Haha...
I told her about my frustations with life in general and how these responsibilities were taking a great toll on me. I just tell her that I try to take things one step at a time and not try to think too hard about things but it's just that I cant help but think about them. I cant turn to anyone about these frustations of mine and certainly not my family so it's basically me bearing all the sorrow myself.
But I guess I just take comfort over the fact that nobody is without problems. It's a really painful process going through each brand new day and then seeing hour by hour pass by slowly but surely. It's like Im torn between being glad to wake up to a fresh lovely morning (dried up saliva and all..) and then scared at the same time thinking that it's yet another challenging day ahead just trying to survive.
I may have mismanaged my life very poorly these past few months and maybe whatever I am going through right now is the after effects and there is nothing I can do about it but just hope for the best. I wouldnt say that Im totally despaired even though I may be inching towards it but I have to learn to survive..no matter what it takes even if i have to forgo some happiness every now or cut some corners.
Oh well, at least i managed to put on a bright sunny smile just being in the company of a friend who makes you forget your personal problems for awhile and be immersed in the beauty of boat quay...a breath taking view at night. That includes the cute groups of ang moh or caucasian guys passing by who dropped by the pubs there for a late night supper after work. Now THEY...totally took my breath away as well..heh....yes, in times of despair, I still have my guy radar on and working at full batt. Im still a hot blooded woman no matter what!
HRm, I totally didnt quite plan wat to wear that night so what I saw first, I put on and unfortunately, it was this bright orange lycra top. Lycra tops are a bit err..'hard' to wear coz seriously, when they show bumps, they show bumps. However, they can be figure hugging as well which gives a nice touch to a womanly figure. Since I was running late...like always....die hard habit at any given age.....I was like..ah heck...and just teamed it up with a pair of cropped jeans which is hugging as well...so imagine, my horrid, with that combi walking through boat quay shophouse coz I gundu cannot tell the difference boat quay and clarke quay and ended up at the wrong place.
Thank goodness it was not quite an 'accident' and it was quite a good combi. But seeing through the pictures, something disturbing about them, my arms looked skinny!!! It's just a week of fasting what..
Okay, maybe it's just the photos and no...in real life they dont look like that and I dont even look like that in those photos. I look more dead in real life.
Oh well........so if god prolongs my life span next year and I have repented..like a gazillion times already.....I shall make it a little bit more cheery than this year..heh. But dont get me wrong...I still appreciate my birthday no matter what, whether I get a gift or not...whether I get to eat a chocolate cake or not...which surprisingly i dont for the last two years...tsk..coz it's a brand new year. It's like your own personal new year celebration minus all the countdowns and the played-to-death auld lang syne song. Seriously, until now I cant figure out the meaning behind that song. It doesnt quite sound like a welcoming sort of song..heh.
Here's a toast to another day tomorrow...whether I like it or not.
wondering why the title and a bit of intro to my previous entry with the photos did not appear. Im too lazy to work out the 'edit html' portion. Well, it was a sombre celebration of sorts...it was more like catching up with a good friend of mine who took her time off her very the busy schedule to spend time with me talking about her school, my life..our lives basically..and coping with parents who are under medical treatment. She was telling me about her crushes from her school...students on exchange programme...and knowing how jovial and friendly my friend is, it's not a surprise that somehow they developed feelings for her. The only catch is that they're too young for her lah! she's in her late twenties but these buggers are in the early twenties. However, they take it as though she's denying them coz she cant move out of her indian tradition or that she's too closeted or narrow minded. But she told me the actual truth was that they were too young for her! Haha...
I told her about my frustations with life in general and how these responsibilities were taking a great toll on me. I just tell her that I try to take things one step at a time and not try to think too hard about things but it's just that I cant help but think about them. I cant turn to anyone about these frustations of mine and certainly not my family so it's basically me bearing all the sorrow myself.
But I guess I just take comfort over the fact that nobody is without problems. It's a really painful process going through each brand new day and then seeing hour by hour pass by slowly but surely. It's like Im torn between being glad to wake up to a fresh lovely morning (dried up saliva and all..) and then scared at the same time thinking that it's yet another challenging day ahead just trying to survive.
I may have mismanaged my life very poorly these past few months and maybe whatever I am going through right now is the after effects and there is nothing I can do about it but just hope for the best. I wouldnt say that Im totally despaired even though I may be inching towards it but I have to learn to survive..no matter what it takes even if i have to forgo some happiness every now or cut some corners.
Oh well, at least i managed to put on a bright sunny smile just being in the company of a friend who makes you forget your personal problems for awhile and be immersed in the beauty of boat quay...a breath taking view at night. That includes the cute groups of ang moh or caucasian guys passing by who dropped by the pubs there for a late night supper after work. Now THEY...totally took my breath away as well..heh....yes, in times of despair, I still have my guy radar on and working at full batt. Im still a hot blooded woman no matter what!
HRm, I totally didnt quite plan wat to wear that night so what I saw first, I put on and unfortunately, it was this bright orange lycra top. Lycra tops are a bit err..'hard' to wear coz seriously, when they show bumps, they show bumps. However, they can be figure hugging as well which gives a nice touch to a womanly figure. Since I was running late...like always....die hard habit at any given age.....I was like..ah heck...and just teamed it up with a pair of cropped jeans which is hugging as well...so imagine, my horrid, with that combi walking through boat quay shophouse coz I gundu cannot tell the difference boat quay and clarke quay and ended up at the wrong place.
Thank goodness it was not quite an 'accident' and it was quite a good combi. But seeing through the pictures, something disturbing about them, my arms looked skinny!!! It's just a week of fasting what..
Okay, maybe it's just the photos and no...in real life they dont look like that and I dont even look like that in those photos. I look more dead in real life.
Oh well........so if god prolongs my life span next year and I have repented..like a gazillion times already.....I shall make it a little bit more cheery than this year..heh. But dont get me wrong...I still appreciate my birthday no matter what, whether I get a gift or not...whether I get to eat a chocolate cake or not...which surprisingly i dont for the last two years...tsk..coz it's a brand new year. It's like your own personal new year celebration minus all the countdowns and the played-to-death auld lang syne song. Seriously, until now I cant figure out the meaning behind that song. It doesnt quite sound like a welcoming sort of song..heh.
Here's a toast to another day tomorrow...whether I like it or not.
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