Traumatized But Moving On

I was traumatised earlier about three weeks ago when almost $70 was stolen from my wallet and it happened on the day when I already felt shitty enough and I wasn't working out very well because the cough that I was having for almost a month was making me feel defeated. I got out of breath easily and every stride and every walk seemed painful that I had to stop in between to catch my breath.

The following week I skipped gym promising to do something about my cough though my mum thought I actually went gym coz I was all dressed up but then I chickened out. But a huge reason behind it was because I was traumatized by the incident. I didn't want the thief to know that it was my bag if he or she happened to be there again. I didn't want to report the matter despite the place having a security camera as I thought it would only be a fruitless effort.

But I figured I can't run away from it. I can't just totally skip that place and find a new gym because it would be a hassle as I had been going there for a few years now already. Then I still didn't feel like going the following week but happened that my brother was hospitalized so I couldn't go anyway or I would be late. So yah, escaped again. Then just yesterday, I had to go. No more running away. I had to face my fear.

So I again entertained the thoughts of NOT going again though I didn't have any more excuses. Then I decided to make a change. I didn't bring the big bag I used for gym and used another bag instead which is actually and ironically a gym bag though all this time, I didn't use it and wanted to throw it away actually. I end up using it to throw off any suspicions for the thief. I just don't want to give them the impression that oh, this is the girl that I stole from..heh, stupid girl.

Something like that.

And I did an additional thing. I actually used the smaller lockers available for just twenty cents to keep my personal belongings like my two handphones and most importantly, my wallet. I could not afford to lose the money again. I just could not.

It was difficult when I first started on the strider but I just had to continue slowly but surely. I was sick and tired of the extra weight that I have in recent times which made wearing of skirts a little bit more difficult especially when I have to rush to work. Anyway, luckily  now I can wear it slightly better like it didn't get stuck halfway ever since I start eating lesser in the day. It will still get stuck somewhere in the midst of my butt but then again, it is big so can't blame it too much, runs in the genes anyway.

So I think the thing to learn from this is yes, need I stress this again, to always be careful. It's an often said phrase but more often than not, we don't practice it because we think that it will never happen again. Well guess again, buster. Anyhoo, as for the gym session, I guess you don't really have to think too much about it and just go ahead and do it.  No point hemming away and then thinking, should I go or should I not go especially when you know, you will only stand to benefit from it. It's not always about the weight loss but about wanting to be healthy for you and your family. That's about it. Of course it is always a good thing when clothes fit us better after that, like for me my skirts, but health should always be a number one factor. Like what's the point of wearing nice clothes when you are putting your health on the line by eating very little and not getting enough nutrients for your body? Food for thought there.

I'm slowly picking up the pieces. I am still feeling rather jaded but it's just a matter of time when I can get a hold of myself and start being all positive again about everything in my life. 

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