Toxic Friends

Friendship is a very tricky business. I know I make it sound like you need to pay for it,  ha! Anyway, I don't know how many of you have friends but if you truly ask me, not all friends are true to you a 100 per cent. Really. Don't get me wrong. There are friends out there who won't take advantage of you and will help you when you are in need even it is something small that they are willing to help. But there will be those, who may all nice to you and stuff, but will find that small loophole to take advantage of you which of course they think you wouldn't notice coz well, you are friends what. What are friends for.

If you are one of these kind of people, I suggest you relook at how you view friendships and whether YOU would like to be treated in that manner. Sometimes being friends, they are just being kind to you and don't want to bring up the topic because they are afraid it will have a repercussion on the friendship. But it doesn't mean you can take advantage of that situation.

I don't want to elaborate more on what happened but then you get the gist of it. Plus I also want to add that even though we can be friends, there are some things that we just can't do and please understand that. But the least we could do is to offer our moral support and keep in touch with you to know how things are going and if they are getting better.

Overall, I say don't get too affected if you have toxic friends. You just have to stand firm and learn to say no, not in the name of friendship but in the name of protecting your rights and not be taken advantage of easily. If they are trying to do a reverse psychology on you by saying 'I thought you were my friend'...well, think very carefully if you want to be friends with people who don't see you as who are you are but rather, see you as a stepping stone to be taken advantage of.

If you are like me who still carry on being friends with such people because for myself, I normally see the good side of people rather than see the bad side because we are all not perfect, I just have to learn to avoid such people at all cost! Just kidding. I mean, I can still be friends with them but naturally, I will just interact with them less. Those who are extremely toxic (I had one such friend in the past), I just don't keep in touch with them at all. They can be very persistent, not in wanting to continue being friends, but rather use me to buy products etc, and for another friend of mine, often borrowing from not out of difficulty but to sustain her party lifestyle. 

I'm sure from experience you have such friends and the examples above are just the tip of the iceberg. Don't feel too bad about losing such friendships. Along the way in life, you will meet new people and they will be even better friends that the ones who only know how to make use of you. Be firm yet gentle in the way you execute to them that you are not comfortable with how you are being treated by them. If this message doesn't fly across well with them, either get another friend as mediator or slowly stay out of their way and don't contact them anymore.

I always find that I don't need many friends to get on in life. I only need a few of them of whom I will keep close to me for the rest of my life. Even if in life we go our own separate ways, they will always have a special place in my heart. Of course I do hope we stay in touch lah even if it's not so frequent but at least I know they are there and they remember me and we still keep in contact.

How are your friends like?

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