Tired of Living

To be honest with you, I'm simply tired of living like this. I believe that there are far better people out there who are fighting for their lives for another shot of living but due to some mishap or illness, they were not able to live their life as per normal.

I hope God gives them that sought for second chance especially when they have many things that they have yet to accomplish and a family to love. What do I have? Though I do have a family, probably my mum is right that I am not reliant enough like I don't really contribute much to the family especially in terms of my measely salary. I couldn't afford the expensive private course fees to improve myself. What I earn is not enough for me to spend on my family and myself. Everyday I wonder how to survive the next few days.

Even if I do earn extra like getting bonus, they won't last very long and my attempt to save will be futile because it will go into the household expenses because everything is just getting so expensive. I sometimes don't know to get out of this economic rut.

I do toy with the idea of getting into business but I'm not talented enough or savvy enough to be good in business. Though yes having a business doesn't mean all is good, somehow if you manage well enough and be good at it, it will work out fine. With a stroke of luck and a lot of hardwork, your business will be lifte sky high.

Well, I still hold on to the notion that one day, I will have a successful mini online business selling accessories. I lack the motivation coz I just feel like I'm not talented enough like perhaps, this is not my forte.

I only spend my time working from morning until evening and then go home with bags of groceries for daily necessities and mum's cooking. Other than that, I will veg out infront of the laptop watching stuffs off you tube and read up on pop culture coz I'm a geek like that.

So what have I contributed to the society other than taking up valuable space?

Nothing.

I'm not intelligent enough or pretty enough for me to use these qualities and build on a successful career around them. I am too socially awkward. I don't have talent. Heck, I even don't have dreams and inspirations except to perhaps continue my studies by enrolling myself in a part time course in polytechnic.

Maybe I'm feeling like currently I am at the lowest point of my life. Maybe I've been watching too much dramas, I don't know. I just know that I'm just tired of all the sufferings on earth. I just want to be free of all these.

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