Beating the Birthday Blues
Even though I have a blog, I feel rather embarrassed to let people know about its existence partly coz it's mostly about me whining about life...haha. It's nothing interesting like many others out there who write interesting stuffs or post nice pictures..or at least stuffs that stir controversy or bitching. It's an outlet for me at least about how I deal with life as it comes with one obstacle after another like some never ending story.
So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me if my visitor count is not in the hundreds or the thousands. But of course, it is on the internet and once in awhile, I do write things that maybe interesting or useful to those who happened to drop by from the sky. It is also a welcome distraction from my whinings..haha.
Just yesterday, an ex colleague of mine had just given birth to a baby girl. I know she went through a lot of relationships and sometimes whine about how her friends are getting married one by one and having children while she was stuck in a loop with crazy boyfriends..heh..okay I added the last part. But seriously, I kinda felt pity for her because I think she deserves someone better and Im glad she did :)
Talking about pity, I think my mum pities for not having a love life. At random moments, she will talk about how some guys don't mind how you look like since I sometimes complain that Im not slim and pretty enough but Im not saying in the line that Im not slim and pretty enough for people to admire. Then she will also say that if I make an effort to at least look pretty, who knows someone will take a liking at me. Today, she talked about her history that one of the guys at her previous workplace, who was very good looking, told someone that he liked her even though there were other candidates who were prettier than her. So she said that oh, not all guys go for looks.
Although Im quite happy with my single state, I do sometimes wonder like eh, am I not that attractive enough? I have my moments of insecurity and it was quite bad early this week but I have decided to quit whining and just do something about it. Even if some things can't be changed, I can learn to accept them. I know I can never be drop dead gorgeous but I suppose I do look quite young for my age...at certain angles..heh. It's a nice compliment for someone to shave a few years off my actual age. I feel so 'how lian'..hahaha..Oh well, it is a stark difference between the remarks given to me many years ago, say when I was 21, because if I tell people my age, they would be shocked coz they thought I looked so much older. So I won't say it's because I look young naturally. Maybe because in my mid twenties, I decided to make a conscious effort to change because I was sick and tired of looking so old and frumpy. I got distracted two years back but this year, I renewed my health vows and at this point of time, Im half way towards achieving my ideal weigh loss of 10kg although I admit that I slide in and out of my efforts which explains why it is taking me quite a long time to lose .haha. Somehow I still make my way back to the pathway ofhell a healthier lifestyle.
Speaking of health, I haven't been in my best state for the last two weeks. I have poor eating habits, have not been exercising, experiencing aching muscles especially around the chest area, and for those who follow my facebook status updates, apparently I whine a lot. I seriously don't know if it has something to do with a post birthday blues, if there is such a thing, but this week onwards, which technically is now :S, I feel like I should start being back in control of my life and not just what I eat. It's a good thing I don't falter a lot since I don't stuff myself that much anymore after that one time binging moment which left me with a rather serious case of indigestion. I may have missed two weeks of gym which is a huge crime for me but I don't want to compromise my health because I wasn't in a good state physically.
Next Sunday onwards, which will be in a brand new month already, I will try my best not to miss a gym session due to me not taking good care of myself which led me to feeling unwell and thus, not in a good condition for a workout. I have no choice but to work harder to make up for the last two weeks of poor diet and exercise. I will lose the balance of 5 kilograms and it's not for the sake of vanity but for health reason. I will also work hard in spending my time doing more useful things and I will also learn to better manage my money. I must say that for the last bit, I think I am coping quite well but like everything in life, there is room for improvement.
Three cheers to a renewed me!! Okay technically, I have not begun the journey yet but I have to start somewhere. I feel the best way to tackle this is to simply write down what I want to achieve and how I want to achieve it. Like one of the facebook friends said, writing them down is better than just keeping them in your head because so many things may cloud your mind like our daily worries and routine. I can also keep track of what I have been doing too and see where I may have gone wrong and where I can improve.
But it's taking me a while to get started. The engine has not warmed up yet..heh.
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me if my visitor count is not in the hundreds or the thousands. But of course, it is on the internet and once in awhile, I do write things that maybe interesting or useful to those who happened to drop by from the sky. It is also a welcome distraction from my whinings..haha.
Just yesterday, an ex colleague of mine had just given birth to a baby girl. I know she went through a lot of relationships and sometimes whine about how her friends are getting married one by one and having children while she was stuck in a loop with crazy boyfriends..heh..okay I added the last part. But seriously, I kinda felt pity for her because I think she deserves someone better and Im glad she did :)
Talking about pity, I think my mum pities for not having a love life. At random moments, she will talk about how some guys don't mind how you look like since I sometimes complain that Im not slim and pretty enough but Im not saying in the line that Im not slim and pretty enough for people to admire. Then she will also say that if I make an effort to at least look pretty, who knows someone will take a liking at me. Today, she talked about her history that one of the guys at her previous workplace, who was very good looking, told someone that he liked her even though there were other candidates who were prettier than her. So she said that oh, not all guys go for looks.
Although Im quite happy with my single state, I do sometimes wonder like eh, am I not that attractive enough? I have my moments of insecurity and it was quite bad early this week but I have decided to quit whining and just do something about it. Even if some things can't be changed, I can learn to accept them. I know I can never be drop dead gorgeous but I suppose I do look quite young for my age...at certain angles..heh. It's a nice compliment for someone to shave a few years off my actual age. I feel so 'how lian'..hahaha..Oh well, it is a stark difference between the remarks given to me many years ago, say when I was 21, because if I tell people my age, they would be shocked coz they thought I looked so much older. So I won't say it's because I look young naturally. Maybe because in my mid twenties, I decided to make a conscious effort to change because I was sick and tired of looking so old and frumpy. I got distracted two years back but this year, I renewed my health vows and at this point of time, Im half way towards achieving my ideal weigh loss of 10kg although I admit that I slide in and out of my efforts which explains why it is taking me quite a long time to lose .haha. Somehow I still make my way back to the pathway of
Speaking of health, I haven't been in my best state for the last two weeks. I have poor eating habits, have not been exercising, experiencing aching muscles especially around the chest area, and for those who follow my facebook status updates, apparently I whine a lot. I seriously don't know if it has something to do with a post birthday blues, if there is such a thing, but this week onwards, which technically is now :S, I feel like I should start being back in control of my life and not just what I eat. It's a good thing I don't falter a lot since I don't stuff myself that much anymore after that one time binging moment which left me with a rather serious case of indigestion. I may have missed two weeks of gym which is a huge crime for me but I don't want to compromise my health because I wasn't in a good state physically.
Next Sunday onwards, which will be in a brand new month already, I will try my best not to miss a gym session due to me not taking good care of myself which led me to feeling unwell and thus, not in a good condition for a workout. I have no choice but to work harder to make up for the last two weeks of poor diet and exercise. I will lose the balance of 5 kilograms and it's not for the sake of vanity but for health reason. I will also work hard in spending my time doing more useful things and I will also learn to better manage my money. I must say that for the last bit, I think I am coping quite well but like everything in life, there is room for improvement.
Three cheers to a renewed me!! Okay technically, I have not begun the journey yet but I have to start somewhere. I feel the best way to tackle this is to simply write down what I want to achieve and how I want to achieve it. Like one of the facebook friends said, writing them down is better than just keeping them in your head because so many things may cloud your mind like our daily worries and routine. I can also keep track of what I have been doing too and see where I may have gone wrong and where I can improve.
But it's taking me a while to get started. The engine has not warmed up yet..heh.
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
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