Still Holding On

Well, my life is STILL in limbo but I guess I can't ignore my blog for long.

For once, I believed there was hope but then I seemed to lose hope. Now I just don't know..whether I should just continue to pray and hope for the best and..die from disappointment.

What can I do? What happens when you pray and pray for the best but nothing seems to materialize? Like it makes you believe that basically it's just wishful thinking on your part that things will get better...but basically it just won't.

Have you felt that way before? I remembered the last time when I prayed so hard constantly for my father to get better and out of his comatose? It took him awhile to get out of it and it completely broke my heart to see him hooked up to so many machines and I just wanted one thing: for him to get better.

He did get out of it and I was so thankful but soon afterwards, he was in and out of comatose but my friend encouraged me not to give up praying for him to get better. Eventually, it came to a point that letting go was the best thing to do for him. With such a heavy heart, I consented for the doctors to take him off the life support system.

I know many people don't believe in God. Even if you don't believe in Him, do believe that in life, some things happen for a reason. Of course just like any regular human beings, we just want the best in our life. But we can only plan and do things within our best capabilities but somehow, the odds are stacked against us. 

Life isn't easy, believe me it isn't. I've read stuffs on the internet and how people go through even worse times than me. Basically, when we are at our down low, love and support will carry us forward. 

While I am still hoping for that one flicker of hope to happen, I will continue to pray for good things to come. I know that I will ultimately be disappointed if that one hope falls and breaks apart, I will still not lose hope in life but carry on and see where life will take me.

This isn't the end. This is merely the beginning.

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