Ruined Sleep
My mum is on to me now for sleeping bloody late...and yesterday, it was 5am and she was beginning to wonder if I was watching porn. Gawd...too much of those malay programmes which are saying our youths' minds of today are being corrupted by internet porn freely available through sites like YouTube. Wait, let me clarify this. I.DOnt.WatCh.PoRn. And gay dramas are not categorised under porn unless the whole entire series is about them making out and then you can say i watch porn through late nights. You think I like sleeping this late? Okay, maybe not so bad an idea since no one is here to scream at me or instruct me endlessly but basically, I just like doing me stuffs which may even include doing the occasional buffing of the nails or just basically screwing the internet to make it go connect faster etc etc...And oh, watching video clips of course which is way faster during this time and basically uninterrupted by the sleeping pest outside aka my brother or the people using the broadband connection at my block. But basically just now I was just looking through the map to see where the heck is the school Im going to for field visit followed by the second school on Tuesday which I will be till Friday. At least the second school is not that bad to look out for since it is part of my former territory before breaking up into this cluster groups of a freakin mess.
Well, the first school would have been clear cut for me based on the bus travelling choices on sbstransit website. You've got to go there since it is getting way advanced and way useful if you want to find your way through Singapore even without looking through the map. But of course if you have no clue what is the main road name, you can also go to streetdirectory.com and check out the road name for easier planning on sbstransit.com. Anyway, for someone who hates to get lost but gets lost still somehow, I check through both the hardcopy map book and also the one on the internet. I have to plan extra carefully especially those schools located at obscure street names. Why these pre schools exist in such places...well...Im just as clueless as you are.
Anyway, been having quite a rough day today. Sunday is always a rough day for me as I have to go through the battlefield teaching my brother who just cannot let go of the computer as he is studying. Sure I can switch the bloody thing off..but he'll throw further tantrums and in the end little studying can be done as he will be just too moody. So I just make sure he does his homework and irritate him with my 'are you done yet?!' and 'whats taking you so long?!' remarks every few minutes. I didnt say I'll make life easier for him for letting him off the hook with the computer. Of course, if it gets to the point where Im talking or explaining to him and his focus was out of line..for example, towards the website on the internet..instead of figting for his attention, it is OFF with the monitor. It will be kept OFF until he listens to me, answers my questions and finish up with his answers before I let him use it again. Any more tantrums, then the computer will be off completely.
Seriously, I would not have cared so much about him even if he is my brother. I just think that my mum should open her eyes a bit instead of just complaining that Im not teaching him enough. Cant she see whats going on here? He can afford to take a nap for a few freakin hours until 10pm while for me, I would be pretty zonked out coming back from work coz for the past two months, it has always been rushing to work outfield, rushing back to office from outfield and then rushing back to the supermarket nearby before rushing back home. It would have been a pretty stress free journey back home if not for my mum's frequent calls as I was riding the train, getting out of the train...the station...to the shopping mall nearby..to the toilet..and eventually to the supermarket.
If I was not feeling too moody that day, I would probably standard answers like 'yes mum..' or 'not yet...mum'...or 'im still in the train/station/toilet..mum'. If not, it would be 'why do you have to keep on calling me? Cant you just tell me in one shot what the heck you want?!!' Yes, I can sound rather nasty but please lah, it is not as if Im gonna visit any pub for a quick drink, get drunk and get lost halfway or run off with some handsome chinese guy from the train and back to his house for a makeout session. I seriously try my best not to lose my cool coz my mum can be so super sensitive that she can even be nastier than me by calling me names and such. How do I put up with all of this crap? I just dont want to create any unnecessary trouble with my mum k? Im not gonna pretend everything is my fault and that I have to start the ball rolling and start talking to her and calm her down or bear with her constant taunting remarks at me. Im just so sick and tired of her little childish games at times so I'd rather just get it over and done with her errands and reach back home on time even if it means having to rush my tired ass through the aisles of the supermarket.
At times my brother will be taking his nap while I will log on the internet and surf for awhile while waiting for him to wake up and guide him in his homework. With a practically rushing schedule at work which now also includes making my already tired eyes ace the computer screen once back in office for more than an hour plus of data entries, how do you expect me to stay perky 10.00pm onwards? But yup, blame it all on rahayu coz she is supposed to teach him who is not independent enough as of yet to do his thinking by himself. Dont treat me like his second school teacher..Im just guiding him along and not providing him answers all the way through.
But if he comes back, and then get some questions wrong and if my mum finds out the piece of homework was done at home, my name will be mentioned first like why I did not teach my brother. I would say that I did teach him but some questions he would do on his own and I just let him. Some questions I was not too sure about the answers but I tried my best to understand them and come up with the answers. Of course, my mum would simply say that I was too lazy lah...too reliant on the computer lah.....too sleepy lah..but if he is playing the computer while doing his homework..nothing! Even if she nags at him, it is like just words coming out from her mouth as she goes on and on about it and not do anything about it when he's not focused well. If I am giving time for him and myself for a little bit of rest coz at times the homework can be rather taxing, she would say that I was trying to buy time or in her words..'cari chance to sleep'..please lah. I was working just now okay? Since when my work is of little importance to his schooling? I earn money for the family and there I was heavily criticised for sleeping late into the night basically coz my supposed sleeping time at 12 plus even was considered 'early' since my brother starts his work a tad bit late at 11pm at times or 1o.3o and even at 12 he will not be done yet with his schoolwork if it is quite a lot.
So now...you tell me....whats the root cause of me not being able to sleep? Is it me staying up late to watch porn or staying up late coz I cant sleep as my actual initial sleeping time has been occupied by this brat who will only turn in after 1am or even 1.30am in the morning once his homework is done followed by some self studying imposed on him by me. It's like once I am wide awake coz of constant interruptions of my brother calling out to me to help him out with his schoolwork or my mum nagging at me for sleeping and to wake up and assist him along...it's hard for me to buy back that initial sleeping time again. Im not gonna waste time either tossing and turning in bed so I just switch on the pc and listen to music or just watch drama episodes before I start to become sleepy again of which the timing can be rather erractic.
Im not done yet with my frustrations regarding people's assumptions about me this whole entire week. I mean seriously people..get a grip man...please dont assume the worst of me. I bloody well know what I am doing. It's not like im fifteen, hello?!! Before my mum starts nagging again...shall continue ranting about my frustrations about this particular group of people who did nothing but make me frustrated.
Well, the first school would have been clear cut for me based on the bus travelling choices on sbstransit website. You've got to go there since it is getting way advanced and way useful if you want to find your way through Singapore even without looking through the map. But of course if you have no clue what is the main road name, you can also go to streetdirectory.com and check out the road name for easier planning on sbstransit.com. Anyway, for someone who hates to get lost but gets lost still somehow, I check through both the hardcopy map book and also the one on the internet. I have to plan extra carefully especially those schools located at obscure street names. Why these pre schools exist in such places...well...Im just as clueless as you are.
Anyway, been having quite a rough day today. Sunday is always a rough day for me as I have to go through the battlefield teaching my brother who just cannot let go of the computer as he is studying. Sure I can switch the bloody thing off..but he'll throw further tantrums and in the end little studying can be done as he will be just too moody. So I just make sure he does his homework and irritate him with my 'are you done yet?!' and 'whats taking you so long?!' remarks every few minutes. I didnt say I'll make life easier for him for letting him off the hook with the computer. Of course, if it gets to the point where Im talking or explaining to him and his focus was out of line..for example, towards the website on the internet..instead of figting for his attention, it is OFF with the monitor. It will be kept OFF until he listens to me, answers my questions and finish up with his answers before I let him use it again. Any more tantrums, then the computer will be off completely.
Seriously, I would not have cared so much about him even if he is my brother. I just think that my mum should open her eyes a bit instead of just complaining that Im not teaching him enough. Cant she see whats going on here? He can afford to take a nap for a few freakin hours until 10pm while for me, I would be pretty zonked out coming back from work coz for the past two months, it has always been rushing to work outfield, rushing back to office from outfield and then rushing back to the supermarket nearby before rushing back home. It would have been a pretty stress free journey back home if not for my mum's frequent calls as I was riding the train, getting out of the train...the station...to the shopping mall nearby..to the toilet..and eventually to the supermarket.
If I was not feeling too moody that day, I would probably standard answers like 'yes mum..' or 'not yet...mum'...or 'im still in the train/station/toilet..mum'. If not, it would be 'why do you have to keep on calling me? Cant you just tell me in one shot what the heck you want?!!' Yes, I can sound rather nasty but please lah, it is not as if Im gonna visit any pub for a quick drink, get drunk and get lost halfway or run off with some handsome chinese guy from the train and back to his house for a makeout session. I seriously try my best not to lose my cool coz my mum can be so super sensitive that she can even be nastier than me by calling me names and such. How do I put up with all of this crap? I just dont want to create any unnecessary trouble with my mum k? Im not gonna pretend everything is my fault and that I have to start the ball rolling and start talking to her and calm her down or bear with her constant taunting remarks at me. Im just so sick and tired of her little childish games at times so I'd rather just get it over and done with her errands and reach back home on time even if it means having to rush my tired ass through the aisles of the supermarket.
At times my brother will be taking his nap while I will log on the internet and surf for awhile while waiting for him to wake up and guide him in his homework. With a practically rushing schedule at work which now also includes making my already tired eyes ace the computer screen once back in office for more than an hour plus of data entries, how do you expect me to stay perky 10.00pm onwards? But yup, blame it all on rahayu coz she is supposed to teach him who is not independent enough as of yet to do his thinking by himself. Dont treat me like his second school teacher..Im just guiding him along and not providing him answers all the way through.
But if he comes back, and then get some questions wrong and if my mum finds out the piece of homework was done at home, my name will be mentioned first like why I did not teach my brother. I would say that I did teach him but some questions he would do on his own and I just let him. Some questions I was not too sure about the answers but I tried my best to understand them and come up with the answers. Of course, my mum would simply say that I was too lazy lah...too reliant on the computer lah.....too sleepy lah..but if he is playing the computer while doing his homework..nothing! Even if she nags at him, it is like just words coming out from her mouth as she goes on and on about it and not do anything about it when he's not focused well. If I am giving time for him and myself for a little bit of rest coz at times the homework can be rather taxing, she would say that I was trying to buy time or in her words..'cari chance to sleep'..please lah. I was working just now okay? Since when my work is of little importance to his schooling? I earn money for the family and there I was heavily criticised for sleeping late into the night basically coz my supposed sleeping time at 12 plus even was considered 'early' since my brother starts his work a tad bit late at 11pm at times or 1o.3o and even at 12 he will not be done yet with his schoolwork if it is quite a lot.
So now...you tell me....whats the root cause of me not being able to sleep? Is it me staying up late to watch porn or staying up late coz I cant sleep as my actual initial sleeping time has been occupied by this brat who will only turn in after 1am or even 1.30am in the morning once his homework is done followed by some self studying imposed on him by me. It's like once I am wide awake coz of constant interruptions of my brother calling out to me to help him out with his schoolwork or my mum nagging at me for sleeping and to wake up and assist him along...it's hard for me to buy back that initial sleeping time again. Im not gonna waste time either tossing and turning in bed so I just switch on the pc and listen to music or just watch drama episodes before I start to become sleepy again of which the timing can be rather erractic.
Im not done yet with my frustrations regarding people's assumptions about me this whole entire week. I mean seriously people..get a grip man...please dont assume the worst of me. I bloody well know what I am doing. It's not like im fifteen, hello?!! Before my mum starts nagging again...shall continue ranting about my frustrations about this particular group of people who did nothing but make me frustrated.
Comments