Simple Life
Yo..
u know what? I have several pet peeves and the one pet peeve which I simply hate is when people comment...WAY too much like you got no brains of your own or you are still childlike that someone has to tell you off like you are his gawd damn daughter or niece. I eat what I fancy or if I cannot finish...whats left in my bowl is non of your business coz if I can remember correctly, I paid for it and the food goes into my stomach. Im trying my best not to be wasteful and if the person puts way too much of something, doesnt mean I have to finish up every single bit of it and if possible lick the whole bowl up. Of course I know ikan bilis has calcium and that vegetables are good for you whether from the stems or the leaves. I did eat them but if I cant take no more, you have no right to keep on pointing this and pointing that in my bowl and talk in a manner I dont know anything about nutrients.
Nobody said anything about her plate of fried carrot cake.....she said herself it was unhealthy..we only thought it looked delicious. If I knew she cant shut her gap even during lunch, well......could have said that her carrot cake looks so..fattening. But damn it..I dont have a single mean bone in me to say such a thing to her. Why cant God just give me like what..10 to 15% of evilness so that I could have at least say something nasty to some people at times like this! Anyway...dont learn that from me kids. Be good.
I hate to say this but I.....am feeling a tad bit guilty that I have lost a little bit of control over my money. It is not as if I went overboard or something but after a long long long period of time of not spending money on myself, transport and food not included, something like a treat for myself, I feel absolutely guilty even though it is something which I have been meaning to buy for quite a long time. Okay I know what is so freaking bad about treating yourself once in awhile but I have this embedded mentality that if I dont think thoroughly enough of some future expense whether foreseeable or not, I will feel bloody guilty. Look, dont get me wrong here and start calling me a miserable miser but if you have to take care of the needs of the family, you will think twice or thrice of wat you are going to spend on whether a little bit or not. Being at this age where I am supposed to enjoy life as it is and spend money freely without having to have anything to hold me back, it kinda sucks. But if there comes a day where I can go totally broke and Im not saying that this is not a possibility, I cant blame it on anyone but myself, right? Plus, in the end who suffers? My family too. So now do you expect me to just spend carelessly like that?
Maybe I just felt I needed a little break coz after all, the little bit of extra income I got this month was mostly due to the hard work I had been putting in every single working day of my life. Okay at least for last year. Frankly speaking, if I had not dragged myself back to reality pronto, I probably would have so little left today and not enough for me to carry on for the next two weeks before pay day. I guess the lesson learnt here is that I should not be so freaking tough on myself whether in terms of money or health. There will come a day that all the suppressed feelings inside of me will suddenly explode and then you will see rahayu going on a wild shopping spree without a care if her brother has bread to eat tomorrow. So.......you expect the lesson learnt is to never ever ever spend money on myself again so I have enough to spare for the family?
Look. why the sudden twist in this life lesson thing is that I believe that I must learn to listen to my heart at times and not always go by logic all the time. Okay, logically speaking....I should follow them as it enables me think wisely and not make any rushed decisions or even other kinds of decisions But in my heart, I deserve to pamper myself a bit too just as long as I dont go overboard and that it is money well spent with some spare for the next usage. I guess my mum who has been plagued with problems of my aunt over the phone may think to herself how I manage to cope with our family's finances when every day there are bound to be things that have to be bought for the household. Well, to me...I think that having too much money may not be a good idea too coz there is a tendency for you to go a little haywire and then end up thinking...eh...'where the hell the money go?!!' when you are left with so much. SO it isnt entirely a bad idea to have money just nice to break even if let's say you're not the type who can keep a lot of cash and prolong its usage.
Anyway, my partner who more or less knows about my family problems and I also know about her financial problem which in no way is her fault either, kinda shared the same opinions on this. It is better to live simply than to live a life full of luxuries that we cant afford but willing to take out loans just to live this 'dream life' of ours. She told me how shocked she was when she heard a colleague saying that she was going to take a loan of 10k the next day coz apparently, how much she and her husband earned together was not enough to cope with the family's finances. Hello..we're talking about 3k of combined income here of a family with three school going children. That money she said would probably last for one and a half weeks' top and then they wont have enough to carry on till the next pay cheque.
What the....this is not a case of 'money no enough'. This is a case of poor budgeting! I know of certain malay family groups who want to live like they can afford anything but then end up with lots of payments to be made come pay day. Whats the point? Family needs come first and it is not as if the public transport here in Singapore are of the lowest standard of all. And then cannot afford a big executive flat, still go ahead and buy one with a huge loan taken out from the bank. Suddenly, they get retrenched and then become plagued by financial problems especially the one coming from the bank who will do anything to chase them for their money. So next thing to do? Ask from welfare associations.
Through some well connected contacts, they get to have some screen time on the national television telling us about their plight and how the public donations can help to tide them through their hard times right now. But as we watch and symphatise with them especially if they have a big family to support and the then housewife has to start working already to support the family, guess what? The husband lies low and let the wife do all the work while he just takes his time finding a job. If he is experienced enough and is hardworking enough to jolly well get himself a new job and not be too picky or has too high an expectation to meet up with his previous salary, Im sure they are able to tide over their hard times pretty fast.
If there is a need to sell the car, then sell the car. No point keeping it just because you're so used to driving around and cannot imagine yourself taking the public transport. In other words, it would be an insult. Plus, in the first place I dont see the need of borrowing a huge amount of money from the bank to get themselves a private apartment or a car if in the first place they cant afford it. Do you know how embarassing it is for some welfare societies to be asked for help by some people who actually drove down their centres to ask for some financial help? If they suggested that for now, maybe it is best to sell off the car for some temporary relief, they act as if that car is their only source of survival even if die die they dont have any money for their basic needs.
When hit by hard times like this, they struggle but for many of them the solution is right there in their face but they just refuse to face up to them. Let people live their luxurious lifestyle for all they want especially if they have been working hard to earn the money and still have lots of spare cash for their needs. No point trying to live up the same as them..for..fame? recognition? Trust me, if you become poor, those very people who are so nice and friendly to you will just their back against you with a snap of the fingers.
I just hope people like this will wake up. Even some of the poor who struggle to live by each day are hesitant themselves to ask for help because to them, as long as they have the ability to work and they can still survive even with the bare necessities, they are still happy they can afford to be independent. Why cant we have their kind of attitude. We dont always need to have a 'back up' plan like a relative who is always willing to help or a friend to be there for us to help tide us over temporarily in case of emergencies. We have to learn to stand up on our own two feet nevermind if we can never be rich or we can never have that dream house of ours. Just learn to be independent and learn not to ask for help unnecessarily because at time, when we think we are the only one struggling, other people can also struggle but they dont show it. Why? Because we dont want others to think that we cant rely on ourselves. SO people like my aunt and her husband should really stop harping on their relatives and for my aunt..on my mum and even me..and think that we're some kind of back up plan for her. Get a life lah...
u know what? I have several pet peeves and the one pet peeve which I simply hate is when people comment...WAY too much like you got no brains of your own or you are still childlike that someone has to tell you off like you are his gawd damn daughter or niece. I eat what I fancy or if I cannot finish...whats left in my bowl is non of your business coz if I can remember correctly, I paid for it and the food goes into my stomach. Im trying my best not to be wasteful and if the person puts way too much of something, doesnt mean I have to finish up every single bit of it and if possible lick the whole bowl up. Of course I know ikan bilis has calcium and that vegetables are good for you whether from the stems or the leaves. I did eat them but if I cant take no more, you have no right to keep on pointing this and pointing that in my bowl and talk in a manner I dont know anything about nutrients.
Nobody said anything about her plate of fried carrot cake.....she said herself it was unhealthy..we only thought it looked delicious. If I knew she cant shut her gap even during lunch, well......could have said that her carrot cake looks so..fattening. But damn it..I dont have a single mean bone in me to say such a thing to her. Why cant God just give me like what..10 to 15% of evilness so that I could have at least say something nasty to some people at times like this! Anyway...dont learn that from me kids. Be good.
I hate to say this but I.....am feeling a tad bit guilty that I have lost a little bit of control over my money. It is not as if I went overboard or something but after a long long long period of time of not spending money on myself, transport and food not included, something like a treat for myself, I feel absolutely guilty even though it is something which I have been meaning to buy for quite a long time. Okay I know what is so freaking bad about treating yourself once in awhile but I have this embedded mentality that if I dont think thoroughly enough of some future expense whether foreseeable or not, I will feel bloody guilty. Look, dont get me wrong here and start calling me a miserable miser but if you have to take care of the needs of the family, you will think twice or thrice of wat you are going to spend on whether a little bit or not. Being at this age where I am supposed to enjoy life as it is and spend money freely without having to have anything to hold me back, it kinda sucks. But if there comes a day where I can go totally broke and Im not saying that this is not a possibility, I cant blame it on anyone but myself, right? Plus, in the end who suffers? My family too. So now do you expect me to just spend carelessly like that?
Maybe I just felt I needed a little break coz after all, the little bit of extra income I got this month was mostly due to the hard work I had been putting in every single working day of my life. Okay at least for last year. Frankly speaking, if I had not dragged myself back to reality pronto, I probably would have so little left today and not enough for me to carry on for the next two weeks before pay day. I guess the lesson learnt here is that I should not be so freaking tough on myself whether in terms of money or health. There will come a day that all the suppressed feelings inside of me will suddenly explode and then you will see rahayu going on a wild shopping spree without a care if her brother has bread to eat tomorrow. So.......you expect the lesson learnt is to never ever ever spend money on myself again so I have enough to spare for the family?
Look. why the sudden twist in this life lesson thing is that I believe that I must learn to listen to my heart at times and not always go by logic all the time. Okay, logically speaking....I should follow them as it enables me think wisely and not make any rushed decisions or even other kinds of decisions But in my heart, I deserve to pamper myself a bit too just as long as I dont go overboard and that it is money well spent with some spare for the next usage. I guess my mum who has been plagued with problems of my aunt over the phone may think to herself how I manage to cope with our family's finances when every day there are bound to be things that have to be bought for the household. Well, to me...I think that having too much money may not be a good idea too coz there is a tendency for you to go a little haywire and then end up thinking...eh...'where the hell the money go?!!' when you are left with so much. SO it isnt entirely a bad idea to have money just nice to break even if let's say you're not the type who can keep a lot of cash and prolong its usage.
Anyway, my partner who more or less knows about my family problems and I also know about her financial problem which in no way is her fault either, kinda shared the same opinions on this. It is better to live simply than to live a life full of luxuries that we cant afford but willing to take out loans just to live this 'dream life' of ours. She told me how shocked she was when she heard a colleague saying that she was going to take a loan of 10k the next day coz apparently, how much she and her husband earned together was not enough to cope with the family's finances. Hello..we're talking about 3k of combined income here of a family with three school going children. That money she said would probably last for one and a half weeks' top and then they wont have enough to carry on till the next pay cheque.
What the....this is not a case of 'money no enough'. This is a case of poor budgeting! I know of certain malay family groups who want to live like they can afford anything but then end up with lots of payments to be made come pay day. Whats the point? Family needs come first and it is not as if the public transport here in Singapore are of the lowest standard of all. And then cannot afford a big executive flat, still go ahead and buy one with a huge loan taken out from the bank. Suddenly, they get retrenched and then become plagued by financial problems especially the one coming from the bank who will do anything to chase them for their money. So next thing to do? Ask from welfare associations.
Through some well connected contacts, they get to have some screen time on the national television telling us about their plight and how the public donations can help to tide them through their hard times right now. But as we watch and symphatise with them especially if they have a big family to support and the then housewife has to start working already to support the family, guess what? The husband lies low and let the wife do all the work while he just takes his time finding a job. If he is experienced enough and is hardworking enough to jolly well get himself a new job and not be too picky or has too high an expectation to meet up with his previous salary, Im sure they are able to tide over their hard times pretty fast.
If there is a need to sell the car, then sell the car. No point keeping it just because you're so used to driving around and cannot imagine yourself taking the public transport. In other words, it would be an insult. Plus, in the first place I dont see the need of borrowing a huge amount of money from the bank to get themselves a private apartment or a car if in the first place they cant afford it. Do you know how embarassing it is for some welfare societies to be asked for help by some people who actually drove down their centres to ask for some financial help? If they suggested that for now, maybe it is best to sell off the car for some temporary relief, they act as if that car is their only source of survival even if die die they dont have any money for their basic needs.
When hit by hard times like this, they struggle but for many of them the solution is right there in their face but they just refuse to face up to them. Let people live their luxurious lifestyle for all they want especially if they have been working hard to earn the money and still have lots of spare cash for their needs. No point trying to live up the same as them..for..fame? recognition? Trust me, if you become poor, those very people who are so nice and friendly to you will just their back against you with a snap of the fingers.
I just hope people like this will wake up. Even some of the poor who struggle to live by each day are hesitant themselves to ask for help because to them, as long as they have the ability to work and they can still survive even with the bare necessities, they are still happy they can afford to be independent. Why cant we have their kind of attitude. We dont always need to have a 'back up' plan like a relative who is always willing to help or a friend to be there for us to help tide us over temporarily in case of emergencies. We have to learn to stand up on our own two feet nevermind if we can never be rich or we can never have that dream house of ours. Just learn to be independent and learn not to ask for help unnecessarily because at time, when we think we are the only one struggling, other people can also struggle but they dont show it. Why? Because we dont want others to think that we cant rely on ourselves. SO people like my aunt and her husband should really stop harping on their relatives and for my aunt..on my mum and even me..and think that we're some kind of back up plan for her. Get a life lah...
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