Snapping Out Of It

Ten years ago, I played truant. I didn't go to school though I stepped out of the house like as if I was going to school. Instead, I went and enjoyed a good breakfast and waited for the library to open so that I could plonk myself there and idle my time away.


I naturally flunked in my studies and I regretted it later. I soon bucked up the following year, made some life long friends along the way and managed to squeeze some passable grades out of my national exams.

Today I find myself playing truant again. I actually skipped gym though I was in full gym gear. I have been feeling pretty low from the start of the year and I don't know why. At some point of my life, I find myself in a trough of depression like something is nagging at me. I lost some control over my life and I find myself eating and eating though at times, I do stick to my commitment of eating less each day such as eating oatmeal instead of wholemeal bread for lunch except on Saturday as I get the luxury of working out the next day. I am also saving every now and then so I don't end up spending every single dollar. 

But somehow I still feel that I have not done enough. Maybe slowly I will find my bearing though I do hope to start very soon, if possible, tomorrow onwards. I shall make a commitment to stick to what I have planned on doing and that includes writing them down. The brain may be the biggest organ in the body but even then it can get stressed out and can only occupy so much information at one time. 

I have also borrowed a book and a magazine which I hope will help me to jumpstart on my life. Ironically, they were borrowed from the same library I found refuge in when I was supposed to be in school some ten years ago. Somehow the ambiance remains the same despite the change in layout. There is this sense of familiarity that brings me back to the days when I was still struggling to cope with school. Here I am struggling with the demands of life and while I managed to snap out of it during those days and get a decent job, I hope I can snap out of my current depression and get my life in order again.


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