A Look Back
I'm turning 30 this year. While many people younger than me have accomplished a lot of things in life, I'm the sorta laid back person who has many other important things in mind like my family though we have squabbles every now and then coz it's the most normal thing to do. Working hard has its perks but I don't believe in working so hard that you forget you have a life. We need a breather once in awhile. See I told you I have a laid back attitude.
As laid back as I can be, I do have strong beliefs which can baffle people but they're basically my beliefs just like how many people don't eat meat because they think that it's inhumane to kill animals for food. As long as they're not downright ridiculous and life threatening to others like a cult, everyone has their own beliefs which they stand up for and carry with them possibly throughout their whole life. Then there is this thing called survival where I can't afford NOT to work as in reality, bills need to be paid and food need to be eaten and so forth. So while I prefer to bum around, working for some moolah every month rocks the boat.
One of my strong beliefs is how I feel that at this stage, I'm not ready for marriage, never mind if many others around my age are married or have at least one kid. Well of course, if the time comes and I have to settle down, I..er...may be open to the idea but currently, I'm not looking for a partner. Just that you know how you plan for this and that and then in the end, it was not meant to be.
I'm also an advocate of healthy living but I'm not an extremist or what you call, a health nut, because I don't want my mind to be so caught up in this healthy lifestyle like it's some kind of job where I have to put in a lot of hard work. After awhile, it will seem like a heavy chore.
I enjoy blogging too :) A real blogger doesn't accept expensive goods, sponsorships or free lunch just to gain an increased viewership and money. He or she does it for the love of writing and sharing ideas and a little bit of an insight into their lives. But you know, money makes the world go round and seriously, who would wanna turn down offers to get free goodies in exchange of good advertising even if the products they are asked to write about may not be up to their standards or may even suck. In their agreement, it should be a form of good publicity and not a bad one, coz after all, they are paying. But we should know where we stand and if we have good strong beliefs, we won't be so easily swayed or tempted to do things like fooling the readers into buying stuffs that they themselves wouldn't even spend money on.
If you read my blog recently, you will know that nowadays, I just develop a 'who the hell cares' attitude like it's seriously their prerogative to behave like this or that even though it may be so unpleasant to the people around them. The more you pay attention to this kind of people, the more they will try to shove their stupid attitude on you and you may find that up to a certain point, you just lose your cool. Don't worry so much about these people. One fine day, they will just realize they're being such an ass to others and will live to regret it.
Anyhoo, why am I spouting all these philosophical stuffs? Well, besides the obvious that I'm turning 30 soon later this year, I just did a quick look back like whether there are any changes in my life. I realize that as I grow older, my beliefs are no longer so wishy washy. I find that if I will only put my mind to it, I can break through the mental barrier because seriously, for a born slacker, a lot of things are hard to do especially if hard work is needed, haha. I am also more open minded and to me, I find that even those on the more intellectual side, they are still rather narrow in their thinking especially if they live in a world where they feel that things are still the same....much like twenty years ago.
Personality wise, I can still be rather quiet especially if I'm in a company of people where I just feel so awkward in. I know that given enough time, I can slowly enjoy their company but if things are just so awkward, it's just too difficult for me to talk and have a proper conversation. I'm still rather aloof and some say, very naive, haha.
Anyway, I came back home after following a friend out on her shopping spree and all I managed was buying a cheap skirt, haha. There were lotsa temptations along the way, but I gotta conserve my money for the next 2 weeks. Then how about the skirt, you asked? Trust me, it's more difficult for me to buy a skirt than a top because I'm more 'challenged' in the bottom half of my body. While there are many sizes available now, an affordable skirt is quite hard to find. Furthermore nowadays, the skirt lengths seem to have shrunk :S so it's also a challenge to buy one that is quite long.
While about 6 years ago, it was difficult for me to even buy a decent top from the likes of Mango and Zara so that's why I'm always appreciative of whatever I buy nowadays. Previously, I don't have such pleasant shopping experience. I hardly buy clothes not coz I can't afford but those that I can fit, I need to fork out more money coz more fabric was used and they were in UK size and hence, more expensive.
It's going through things like this that make me appreciate and be thankful for what I have and it also makes me more sympathetic towards other people because I myself suffer from a low self esteem, even until now. But I learn that you just have to be more accepting of yourself. That and also, you have to learn to hide your flaws and bring out your best features. It's also important to just relax and not be so caught up on what people see in you especially physical wise. The friends that I have last time, I still have them now and they're not so bothered about what I wear or how I look though yes, they do 'sound' me off for like using the same ol' tacky looking bags for the sake of comfort, haha.
With me growing old, hopefully I will be one of those women who look more fab. Now I just feel old like my youth is being slowly sucked away. I know I sound very dramatic. I found this photo of me taken in 2005. I was wearing my first Mango top :) which I bought over the internet.
You know what, it doesn't matter whether I will look fab or not. I just want to have a good life, one with less worries and to be...happier. I know I still got like 8 months to go before I turn 30 but I can't help reminiscence about my past and to also know, some things don't change even if I felt I'm practically going through almost the same thing every year.
Though some things are good for a change, there are some other things that should not change. Some people say I'm prettier now, more confident, and have a better sense of taste in attire like I shock them sometimes when I dress nice. But deep down, I'm still me. I still don't think I'm more attractive, not that I'm looking down on myself. I just want to continue loving myself no matter what size I am, or how I look, coz there's only one of me :)
Bring on 30!
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
As laid back as I can be, I do have strong beliefs which can baffle people but they're basically my beliefs just like how many people don't eat meat because they think that it's inhumane to kill animals for food. As long as they're not downright ridiculous and life threatening to others like a cult, everyone has their own beliefs which they stand up for and carry with them possibly throughout their whole life. Then there is this thing called survival where I can't afford NOT to work as in reality, bills need to be paid and food need to be eaten and so forth. So while I prefer to bum around, working for some moolah every month rocks the boat.
One of my strong beliefs is how I feel that at this stage, I'm not ready for marriage, never mind if many others around my age are married or have at least one kid. Well of course, if the time comes and I have to settle down, I..er...may be open to the idea but currently, I'm not looking for a partner. Just that you know how you plan for this and that and then in the end, it was not meant to be.
I'm also an advocate of healthy living but I'm not an extremist or what you call, a health nut, because I don't want my mind to be so caught up in this healthy lifestyle like it's some kind of job where I have to put in a lot of hard work. After awhile, it will seem like a heavy chore.
I enjoy blogging too :) A real blogger doesn't accept expensive goods, sponsorships or free lunch just to gain an increased viewership and money. He or she does it for the love of writing and sharing ideas and a little bit of an insight into their lives. But you know, money makes the world go round and seriously, who would wanna turn down offers to get free goodies in exchange of good advertising even if the products they are asked to write about may not be up to their standards or may even suck. In their agreement, it should be a form of good publicity and not a bad one, coz after all, they are paying. But we should know where we stand and if we have good strong beliefs, we won't be so easily swayed or tempted to do things like fooling the readers into buying stuffs that they themselves wouldn't even spend money on.
If you read my blog recently, you will know that nowadays, I just develop a 'who the hell cares' attitude like it's seriously their prerogative to behave like this or that even though it may be so unpleasant to the people around them. The more you pay attention to this kind of people, the more they will try to shove their stupid attitude on you and you may find that up to a certain point, you just lose your cool. Don't worry so much about these people. One fine day, they will just realize they're being such an ass to others and will live to regret it.
Anyhoo, why am I spouting all these philosophical stuffs? Well, besides the obvious that I'm turning 30 soon later this year, I just did a quick look back like whether there are any changes in my life. I realize that as I grow older, my beliefs are no longer so wishy washy. I find that if I will only put my mind to it, I can break through the mental barrier because seriously, for a born slacker, a lot of things are hard to do especially if hard work is needed, haha. I am also more open minded and to me, I find that even those on the more intellectual side, they are still rather narrow in their thinking especially if they live in a world where they feel that things are still the same....much like twenty years ago.
Personality wise, I can still be rather quiet especially if I'm in a company of people where I just feel so awkward in. I know that given enough time, I can slowly enjoy their company but if things are just so awkward, it's just too difficult for me to talk and have a proper conversation. I'm still rather aloof and some say, very naive, haha.
Anyway, I came back home after following a friend out on her shopping spree and all I managed was buying a cheap skirt, haha. There were lotsa temptations along the way, but I gotta conserve my money for the next 2 weeks. Then how about the skirt, you asked? Trust me, it's more difficult for me to buy a skirt than a top because I'm more 'challenged' in the bottom half of my body. While there are many sizes available now, an affordable skirt is quite hard to find. Furthermore nowadays, the skirt lengths seem to have shrunk :S so it's also a challenge to buy one that is quite long.
While about 6 years ago, it was difficult for me to even buy a decent top from the likes of Mango and Zara so that's why I'm always appreciative of whatever I buy nowadays. Previously, I don't have such pleasant shopping experience. I hardly buy clothes not coz I can't afford but those that I can fit, I need to fork out more money coz more fabric was used and they were in UK size and hence, more expensive.
It's going through things like this that make me appreciate and be thankful for what I have and it also makes me more sympathetic towards other people because I myself suffer from a low self esteem, even until now. But I learn that you just have to be more accepting of yourself. That and also, you have to learn to hide your flaws and bring out your best features. It's also important to just relax and not be so caught up on what people see in you especially physical wise. The friends that I have last time, I still have them now and they're not so bothered about what I wear or how I look though yes, they do 'sound' me off for like using the same ol' tacky looking bags for the sake of comfort, haha.
With me growing old, hopefully I will be one of those women who look more fab. Now I just feel old like my youth is being slowly sucked away. I know I sound very dramatic. I found this photo of me taken in 2005. I was wearing my first Mango top :) which I bought over the internet.
 | ||
| See how happy I was? No, I wasn't being sarcastic. |
You know what, it doesn't matter whether I will look fab or not. I just want to have a good life, one with less worries and to be...happier. I know I still got like 8 months to go before I turn 30 but I can't help reminiscence about my past and to also know, some things don't change even if I felt I'm practically going through almost the same thing every year.
Though some things are good for a change, there are some other things that should not change. Some people say I'm prettier now, more confident, and have a better sense of taste in attire like I shock them sometimes when I dress nice. But deep down, I'm still me. I still don't think I'm more attractive, not that I'm looking down on myself. I just want to continue loving myself no matter what size I am, or how I look, coz there's only one of me :)
Bring on 30!
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
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