The Overbearing Sister
Haiz...Im starting to tutor my brother already and him being a lazybugger, and a wisecracking one who knows how to twist the story and make ME the guilty party, trust me it is not an easy job.
Im not exactly the typical tutor who sit beside the kid coz my brother thinks it is a hindrance to him doing work and I would rather sit infront of the pc than seeing him doing his homework. But of course, he is free to ask me anything..right before I tried to brush him away with a couple of remarks like...'NOW WHAT?!', 'THIS ONE ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DO?'...and my infamous loud..'tsk...'
But Im not all that bad. Well, almost. I do try to help him even though I hate solving maths problems that require me to think hard and all the problems tend to lean that way. But I try my best, grudgingly, and if it is a simpler one..my brother will often go like..'oh yah! NOw I remember!' to tell me that heck, he knows it all along but it's stuck behind his cluttered non thinking brain. Wat a waste of my time. And knowing him all these years, if I can manage to solve two problems, he has this thinking like..hrm..maybe I should let her solve the rest of the problems. Well, fat hope! Im like..'NO! You go and sit down there at your table and solve it yourself! If you're stuck, then you ask me.' See, Im a mean sister with good intentions.
Yesterday's episode was quite a funny one even though I didnt show it on my face. Like I said I tried to help him if only he is stuck with something and told him to look it up in his textbook or the internet coz Im not his walking dictionary or encyclopedia. He, of course, would do it via the textbook first but gives up easily the minute he cant look it up. Then, I said what is the internet for? So for yesterday, he tried to look up the answers for three of the Science related questions like what were the uses for, say, a beaker, a test tube holder and so on. The only thing he looked up was this conical flask and when tried to look for the meaning, he came across a page with an explanation about the flask alright but not a conical one but some weird term. Seeing that he was at least doing some work, I left him alone and thought that he would just go back and do another search.
Half an hour later he complained he could not find the answer and then when I went over to the computer, guess what? he was stuck at the same UNMOVED freaking page! Instead, he opened another tab window about publishing an online magazine. So I began my mini lecture beginning with me telling him that what..Im not stupid to know that he lied to me about searching those terms coz apparently I saw the same page as I saw it earlier half an hour earlier. Could see that he had this guilty look on him and then after I helped him to find the terms and he was more than happy...to write down the answers. I found those terms in just 5 minutes and while giving him the answers, I explained to him as well and he actually listened coz I think guilt was running through his body. Of course he tried to cut in as well..which I retorted, no..if I talk, you listen!
In my sister mode, I can be quite hard on him but it's only for the best. Im also not the type who pamper him and his requests, say, to buy an A3 drawing block would not be so easy and I would be asking him a series of questions. First of all, I would ask 'For what?'..followed by 'I thought you have it already?'..'What do you need it for?'..and most often, I think he was quite used to my interrogating manner until he could not take it and would be saying..'Fine! If you dont want to buy..fine! You dont want me to pass my exams right?' and this line was used when his teacher requested to pay $28 dollars for a Malay dictionary which I retorted back on why it had to be so expensive and why the heck the teacher could not source for a cheaper one.
Going out with him is quite fun also especially when I get to be a nagging mother to him..heh. If he asked too much why..I would just cut him half way repeatedly with..'no..' and typically he would give the sour face but I would be quite overbearing with me saying that if he's not happy, then we can go back now. It's still a wonder why my brother stilll want to go out with me to the neighbouring shopping centres..hee.
Im saying all this coz I was thinking heck, if one day, I have children, would I be so overbearing like this? But I dont think I want to be so hard on them like not giving them pocket money to go to school or to even buy a drink in school like a certain cousin of mine whose budgeting skills were a bit too much. I dont think her children should suffer to maintain their so called lavish lifestyle with a maid and a car. I think it's stupid.
I know my stand will definitely be not to spoil them and not to be like a friend to them but a mother. So no GAP for kids or Osk Kosh B'Gosh shoes. I dont want to be blamed for their behaviour because that is often the tendency when teenagers start behaving ruthlessly. It always have to start at home. We can give them love but dont pamper them so much that it is so easy for them to demand things or money from us like we're some cash dispensing machine or something.
But, we can be fair to them also if theya re willing to play the game with us. I know that this children thing will take a long..long..while but meanwhile, I am the guardian of my brother and Im responsible for his studies and also responsible for the family's income. So, it is not something for me to take things lightly. My concern is to put food on the table and not to fuel his desire to have expensive things but thankfully, I think God is great in which He makes my brother the type who doesnt ask for much. Well, as long as the shirt does not look gawdy or the bermudas shorts are not too short, he's fine with it.
Maybe he will change once he becomes a teenager and start demanding more but hopefully, it will not change much. That boy is growing up, I tell you.
Im not exactly the typical tutor who sit beside the kid coz my brother thinks it is a hindrance to him doing work and I would rather sit infront of the pc than seeing him doing his homework. But of course, he is free to ask me anything..right before I tried to brush him away with a couple of remarks like...'NOW WHAT?!', 'THIS ONE ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DO?'...and my infamous loud..'tsk...'
But Im not all that bad. Well, almost. I do try to help him even though I hate solving maths problems that require me to think hard and all the problems tend to lean that way. But I try my best, grudgingly, and if it is a simpler one..my brother will often go like..'oh yah! NOw I remember!' to tell me that heck, he knows it all along but it's stuck behind his cluttered non thinking brain. Wat a waste of my time. And knowing him all these years, if I can manage to solve two problems, he has this thinking like..hrm..maybe I should let her solve the rest of the problems. Well, fat hope! Im like..'NO! You go and sit down there at your table and solve it yourself! If you're stuck, then you ask me.' See, Im a mean sister with good intentions.
Yesterday's episode was quite a funny one even though I didnt show it on my face. Like I said I tried to help him if only he is stuck with something and told him to look it up in his textbook or the internet coz Im not his walking dictionary or encyclopedia. He, of course, would do it via the textbook first but gives up easily the minute he cant look it up. Then, I said what is the internet for? So for yesterday, he tried to look up the answers for three of the Science related questions like what were the uses for, say, a beaker, a test tube holder and so on. The only thing he looked up was this conical flask and when tried to look for the meaning, he came across a page with an explanation about the flask alright but not a conical one but some weird term. Seeing that he was at least doing some work, I left him alone and thought that he would just go back and do another search.
Half an hour later he complained he could not find the answer and then when I went over to the computer, guess what? he was stuck at the same UNMOVED freaking page! Instead, he opened another tab window about publishing an online magazine. So I began my mini lecture beginning with me telling him that what..Im not stupid to know that he lied to me about searching those terms coz apparently I saw the same page as I saw it earlier half an hour earlier. Could see that he had this guilty look on him and then after I helped him to find the terms and he was more than happy...to write down the answers. I found those terms in just 5 minutes and while giving him the answers, I explained to him as well and he actually listened coz I think guilt was running through his body. Of course he tried to cut in as well..which I retorted, no..if I talk, you listen!
In my sister mode, I can be quite hard on him but it's only for the best. Im also not the type who pamper him and his requests, say, to buy an A3 drawing block would not be so easy and I would be asking him a series of questions. First of all, I would ask 'For what?'..followed by 'I thought you have it already?'..'What do you need it for?'..and most often, I think he was quite used to my interrogating manner until he could not take it and would be saying..'Fine! If you dont want to buy..fine! You dont want me to pass my exams right?' and this line was used when his teacher requested to pay $28 dollars for a Malay dictionary which I retorted back on why it had to be so expensive and why the heck the teacher could not source for a cheaper one.
Going out with him is quite fun also especially when I get to be a nagging mother to him..heh. If he asked too much why..I would just cut him half way repeatedly with..'no..' and typically he would give the sour face but I would be quite overbearing with me saying that if he's not happy, then we can go back now. It's still a wonder why my brother stilll want to go out with me to the neighbouring shopping centres..hee.
Im saying all this coz I was thinking heck, if one day, I have children, would I be so overbearing like this? But I dont think I want to be so hard on them like not giving them pocket money to go to school or to even buy a drink in school like a certain cousin of mine whose budgeting skills were a bit too much. I dont think her children should suffer to maintain their so called lavish lifestyle with a maid and a car. I think it's stupid.
I know my stand will definitely be not to spoil them and not to be like a friend to them but a mother. So no GAP for kids or Osk Kosh B'Gosh shoes. I dont want to be blamed for their behaviour because that is often the tendency when teenagers start behaving ruthlessly. It always have to start at home. We can give them love but dont pamper them so much that it is so easy for them to demand things or money from us like we're some cash dispensing machine or something.
But, we can be fair to them also if theya re willing to play the game with us. I know that this children thing will take a long..long..while but meanwhile, I am the guardian of my brother and Im responsible for his studies and also responsible for the family's income. So, it is not something for me to take things lightly. My concern is to put food on the table and not to fuel his desire to have expensive things but thankfully, I think God is great in which He makes my brother the type who doesnt ask for much. Well, as long as the shirt does not look gawdy or the bermudas shorts are not too short, he's fine with it.
Maybe he will change once he becomes a teenager and start demanding more but hopefully, it will not change much. That boy is growing up, I tell you.
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