"Living Each Single Day"

My colleagues had been planning on what to do with their payout and based on some suggestions, they wanted to get a little something for themselves as remembrance for our hard work with this department. The suggestions ranged from a ring, a necklace...an expensive bag...that sort of luxury where they thought an opportunity like this would not come again or if it will, maybe not so soon. For me, honestly I dont have anything in mind. The only current thought is that I have is to get myself a handphone (which I have not decide which nokia model to get..or stick to the one that I..ahem..sold off), get hair treatment and get for my brother an ipod nano. But those are coming from my bonus only.   Then of course there are other considerations like my studies and my family's need as to what I am going to do with my payout later on. Mariah was also on my side when she said that it's also better for me to keep for my family since we're a single...

So it has been said that by the AGM that the company will be taking us all in. I guess I can safely say that I have secured myself a job. Right now, Im having a nagging minor migraine and I dont even know where to begin because everything is so majorly new and Im majorly not happy about quite a few things. I guess this strengthens my determination to get a new job. It seems that next year onwards, i will be doing even more intensive travelling and can you imagine, within a space of three months or so, I will have to cover west areas such as clementi, boon lay and bukit panjang for instance? Why is that? Coz okay, they are going to revert back to the previous zonal system but instead of letting people staying in the west area to do the screening within that same area for example, they are going to lump all of us together to screen there no matter which part of Singapore we stay. Once that zone is cleared, we shall move on to the next zone, say, east. One thing, our transport money is go...

At last, I may be embarking on my studies, if all goes well. Since I will be given a training grant of 2k and some payout for the special resignation scheme (not retirement, as I earlier said) and with a 2 month bonus, I think I can safely say that I may finally have enough money for my studies next year.   Plus, my mum has given her stamp of approval for me to pursue this course....provided there is enough money for the family and the course doesnt start too early.   I told her that it will commence in April, August and November. Most likely I will be able to start in April. But this means that I have to watch my expenditures come bonus and payout because that will have to standby for my education fees.   Most prob I will pay in full before I start becoming poor..haha...that I wont be able to pay for the instalments.   She advised me against taking a course in business studies but in computer since it is more in demand.   As I search, I think this wi...

Man....sometimes watching soap opera or dramas can be a drag especially whenever the pinnacle part of the show is over and then the plot becomes 'calmer', I just have to fast forward it. It's like one time, they manage to catch your attention making you looking forward to watching the next few episodes, which can be within a space of few days (can you imagine the wait in between?!) and then, the excitement dies down and I start losing my interest.   No wonder soap dramas have the tendency to last so freaking long. Maybe in the past, people like housewives would be glued on to the telly but frankly speaking, who has the time now?   But then again, being the superwomen that we are, if the drama is televised during dinner time, the working women would rush home to quickly cook, serve dinner and then, as a form of rest and a pat on the back, watch their favourite drama with great intensity. Im talking about those taiwanese or korean dramas that some of my mala...

Wow..cant believe it has been ages man. Anyway I managed to scour the internet (a treasure trove of hunks..no less) and came out with this! Gorgeous? Even though his eyebrows needed a little bit of work, and he's not so hunky unlike droolworthy Jon Fleming or as geeky as geek god Van Hansis, I think he'll pass. His name is David Moretti, 26 years old (hot 1981 former baby..someone like myself) and he is one of those actors in a movie where you'll never a) be caught watching or b) think will hardly make it to the cinemas. He's a new actor who chooses to star in one of those american cable channels rather than become some blockbuster hunk. And since I happen to fall in the category where I watch basically anything including cheesy stuffs where I could choke with laughter at the lame scripting, sometimes these cheesy movies churn out hot actors. Yah, pfft...like as if the current hollywood A listers started out with a bang. They probably banged someone first before becomin...

mariah asked me to go check out some blogs where there was this minor blog war going on. Frankly speaking, i was quite lazy to go check them out not coz Im not interested but I read these blogs before and goodness, they are merely public displays of affections, expensive gifts, love declarations and they always seem to be all prim and proper before taking snapshots of themselves looking oh so glamorous. I mean, that is their playground and they can do what they want with it even if the entries are almost to the point of vomit inducing especially if they get their guy radar all wrong. I am so tempted to say...'you call this HANDSOME?!' but seriously, it's their guy radar, not mine. Futhermore the internet is an open space. Such things are bound to happen and you just have to learn to bounce off these criticisms. But to me, to defame someone on the net is wrong too and against net etiquette. It's also a reflection of yourself on how miserable you are when you resort to su...

Well, it's good to have some little distractions in life to get you away from the problems in life. For example a good book, a nice meal, a cozy bed, net surfing, drama watching...... and... a little bit of hunk galore... I suddenly remembered that my 'guy of the week' section had been put on hold for the longest time. Too bad this guy made it to the list already...the first one some more. Haiz, the things I discover on the net. Why not in real life eh? Tsk....

Most of the time, I just dont feel like talking to my mum. I dont know....please dont get me wrong. But I feel like whenever she talks to me, it's just some fruitless conversations...or better yet, instructions....and words of hatred towards my father. She also have the tendency to repeat herself over and over....about some stuffs that she had already talked about before. I know she hates my father because she feels that he's unappreciative...take things for granted...a burden to us and so forth. But she herself doesnt know that she makes my life miserable too with her endless...mindless talks. Sometimes I feel like she's going senile already like you know how old people, when they reach a certain age, they dont know what they're talking about already and tends to be naggy over every single thing. But my mum's not that old. She's not even 50 yet but gawd......nowadays, whatever she says doesnt make sense to me. Okay, example of yesterday: She woke me up to say t...

My brother's PSLE results were finally out. I was relatively calm the night before and even the morning of yesterday where he would be getting his results by afternoon. I didnt expect anything outrageously miraculously out of him but of course, like any parents, or uhm..big sister in this case, who has been coaching him all this while, I do expect that he will at least do well. So far, all this time of coaching him, I hope it will be at least fruitful or something. Anyway judging from the questions that I had taught him or tried before teaching him, especially for Maths, I didnt expect him to get an A or B but neither do I want him to fail. Actually, my goal is to get him into express stream even though I guess I would still be fine if he goes to normal stream but in life, you always try not to aim for the second best. If you can, try for the best first and see how it goes. No pressure lah but it will be good if he can. Furthermore, based on his exam results and also his prelims, I...

Dont get me wrong...I like listening to the muttons in the airwaves whether on the internet or via my phone radio. But seriously, when they're having this soccer talk..Im dead...dead...bored. Remind me to avoid listening to the muttons every Wednesday. Perhaps THE talk doesnt last long but uhm..I cant stand another 5 minutes lah. Sorry world cup..FIFA cup...you have no fan in me. Although.................... the guy giving the commentaries on soccer has a very sexy english accent and he also presents on the ESPN channel. At times, he blends in well into the mutton show acting just like the muttons so it is not so dry after all. But im talking about when they're almost done talking about..yawns..football. So I finally went for the interview with the other company held within our own premise. I tell ya it was nerve wrecking. Why? Because I was the second last. And then the ones who went earlier would be subjected to a second interview..by uhm...us...hehe. I thought that because t...

I think I spoke too soon. Was rambling about finding love just as you were about to give up hope that you will never find the one. As I read further and then tonight later I shall watch that episode (maybe if slowtube isnt so slow today...) ..it seems that well, our foresight can be a bit wrong sometimes. In the end, it wasnt the quick love that we're looking for...it's the continuous support for us when we're down in the dumps and the encouragement that is given to pursue something that we would never try to pursue despite having an interest in it. In this case, a lost love came back at a moment when we had this 'oh here we go again' moment when we thought we finally found happiness. But turned out, as sweet as he turned out to be and who seems to not get enough of us (freaky too), an old flame came back. OH....you mean mr right is right under our button nose?!!! This may come out from an american drama....but hey, you'll never know right? He's juuussstttt....

Oh.Gawd. Is it just me but youtube has been on the slowest crawl ever. I swear even a tortoise who would have made it to the finishing line ages ago. I mean..yeah the whole world is tuning in to youtube but geez..if it ever been slow, this is by far the slowest! I thought maybe my system is on a meltdown or something but after trying to get rid of some junk, while the rest of the webpages load a bit faster, youtube? well....youslow is more like it! Why am I so frustrated over this non meaningful phenomena? Well, for one thing, I depend on it for my dose of american dramas! Okay, I know about my last entries, I wrote in total rambles. It was only the first time..after a long period of time...of me sleeping, and then waking up in the middle of the night to type those entries out. Crazy but true. Believe it or not, I kinda have gone out of habit a bit when it comes to my sleeping patterns. YOu know like the one I described earlier....sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, surf net and then...

I told you that I applied for both jobs right? But I was also taking a risk...a very expensive risk. You see, not all will get the payout under the special retirement scheme (yes, I 'retired' at a young age) and I happened to be one of the lucky one to be offered this payout because of my perm position and that I have been in service for more than three years. However, knowing my financial history of holding such amount of money before, it will only last me few months and then I will be back to square one and still doing field work. I didnt want to travel anymore so at first, I thought that hey, if I have been offered the library job I would have to turn down the vendor which will also mean I wont be getting the compensation. Oh, by the way the compensation or payout is estimated to be a few Ks and based on my number of years in service with the board, I will be getting at least 5 to 6K. Now isnt that sweet money. Some of my colleagues are getting a bit more because they have b...

I actually knew of the compensation benefit which they had mentioned together with the announcement that we were being outsourced. But again, my concern is that will I be able to find myself a new job. But the clause that we're supposed to stay until dec 31st to be eligible for the bonus puts a stall in my working life in a way that Im not able to find a new job so Im one heck of a confused individual. But......the HR dept has been very helpful and they didnt just leave us hanging like that such as take the money and then off you go type. They gave us two job opportunities, one external and one internal. One is ST Logistics under their medical services where I would basically be doing about the same thing also as a field officer. The other one is an officer with the library committee or the health information committee where the duty includes maintaining computerised library records and managing the search system just like how a librarian works but with I.T. knowledge. Uhm, my deci...

WELL...i've been wanting to blog about my job for the longest time..okay make it since last Wednesday coz I have promised to to talk about it once everything has been finalised. Actually, this thing has been planned since last August but the details had been sketchy and we could only hope for the best. Plus Im not allowed to leave until Dec 31st. Okay technically, if I want my year end bonus, I must stay until the end or we have to pay them the diffence based on the pro rated amount. I mean..I work for this govt body for almost 5 years and I also know that in recent times, there is no such thing as job stability if you're working for the govt and knowing my line of work which is project based, to me it is inevitable that they may not want us for long. Unfortunately, I was right. When they told us the news last August that our dept was being best sourced out, and then they started to talk about compensation and etc, it was all very blurry for me. Shock yes...and there was only o...

Im a fan of The Fray and this is a music group that does not only make music but also appeals to the troubled teens who are struggling through life. Their song How to Save a Life makes a big impact on them and the song also started the how to save a life campaign to help these teenagers realise that they have to save their life first to get through their troubled times and to do the right thing instead of being a slave to alcohol, drugs and other bad influences. There is a website ( http://www.howtosavealife.com/ ) inspired by this very song. The save-a-life campaign is also set up in memory of Colin Fahrenkamp who had been a friend to a lot of people but sadly, his life ended abruptly in a car accident. Apparently, the last song that he downloaded was How to Save a Life and during his funeral, it was played out in memory of him. A memorial scholarship in his name was also set up to give teens a chance to discover their dreams. YOu should also watch a video of How to Save a Life throu...

Yup, the start of positive blogging..haha..No, the laugh is genuine. Actually, I have this idolisation thing going on. I idolise Beyonce and Tyra Banks..coz they're gorgeous, sexy, smart, hardworking and has a big heart by giving back to the society through charity foundations that they set up. I cant be like them...BUT..I think they're good embodiment of feminity. Look, Im nowhere near as talented as them (although Im quite a karaoke singer..heh..) but I want to adopt their habits to embrace myself fully as a woman successful in life and career. I cant change my fate but I can change what's of me coz even though Im in my mid twenties, I cant even look after myself well properly. Despite my uh...harsh words about my mum earlier on....she does in some ways help to organize my life a bit. I try to incorporate some stuffs like what would Beyonce do or what if I was Beyonce. Im sure she looks after her hair which are so gawd damn luscious. Of course I dont have an entourage of ...

Finally, I get to sit down and do some serious blogging stuff. My pay FINALLY came after a long torturous wait and the things I did just to keep living each single day...with money. It was hard...damn hard...and it's already difficult for me to handle it everyday not just in terms of finance but also coz of the problems between my parents and how it's taking a toll on me like im some kind of mediator. But you know what. I made it. I pulled through...even at the last minute and I thank God for every help that He has offered even if at times, I was angry...at Him for making my life miserable. Well, life is not going to be an easy ride no matter and I may be back in the same sickening cycle. I stood by the thought that we have to do something about it rather than just sit down and do nothing and hope things will improve on its own. It is what kept me going even if I have to make painful sacrifices. And my mum isnt exactly giving me an easier life too with her daily complains about...

I seem to have problems uploading the bigger pics with photobucket..with all of my colleagues together. So yap, only managed to take pics with the young nurses. Please dont rub it in that Im way older than them...pfft...Anyhoo, let me see if I can try uploading it again.

Hello, I have not been blogging recently. I do wanna blog but I guess I am not quite in the mood as yet. Quite tired catching up on videos and my brother is also hogging the computer. He's in his IPOD phase right now so he usually will search the web or watch clips pertainining to the gadget. HOWEVER...I have some photos! These were taken very recently at a colleague's house during a gathering there.. Look at the first photo...I actually did my all famous kawaii pose..u know the rabbit ears...but it was found to be not suitable for the shot. I know..what the... But it was removed. I was thinking..heh..you cant remove it...but this person, apparently is quite a photoshop whiz..Im pretty amazed at the job. THen again..pfft...rahayu is still offended by the kawaii pose which didnt make it.

Yay Internet!! I actually got back my internet last Sunday afternoon. It was a relatively easy process but im not gonna go into details as to how I got it back. Tonight, Im gonna blog about how I tried to cope with life without internet (hard I tell ya). And how my body has not synchronised its timing yet to the time my internet went kapoot. Yes, I still clock in early timing to sleep and whatever earlier time I spend on the internet is mainly to catch up on my youtube segments including my soap drama though I was a little disappointed about last week's episode. So hopefully...today I will be able to be in my usual blogging self. Gawd, Im even having problems typing this out. My fingers need to wake up too! Once again...yay internet!!

Maybe not having internet is a good thing...i dont know in what way so please enlighten me on that. But still, I do learn something valuable today. It came from a colleague who had been working with me for the past two days. There are a lot of negativity surrounding us that we forget that life isn't just about that. And if we have a journal, do you think we would want to read bad things that happen to us? We would rather not remember them, wouldnt we?   The thing is that not all good things happen to us..fine...but if they do? Dont we want to recall them back because they have made a difference to our lives whether through their spoken words or actions? Those little things, when accumulated, can make us turn around 360 degrees and then think that hey, no problem in the world can slow us down...we can persevere..and get through it in one whole piece even with scratches and bruises.   So right now, with the lack of internet, I would start a journal. Often I would get st...

No internet = lifeless boring old fart.   Im describing my life right now. Thats right...I..have...no......INTERNET!!!!!!! bloody f%%&ing  s$%^^ty hell of a life..