I often tell myself to not get myself into unnecessary trouble. Life is hard enough as it is, and don't make it any harder, if possible. But then, sometimes things just happen, out of our control, and we can only hope to get through it fast and in one piece.
I have my fair share of troubles and I admit, I got myself into the fix and find it hard to get out of it. But how I got myself into that is because I am sometimes too tired of being overly cautious. I was so tired of taking care of the expenses by cutting back that at one of point of time, I just couldn't care less and just spend and spend until I accumulated enough outstanding bills and the companies demand payment, until even threatened to send a fine. My savings ran out fast. But then I learnt my lesson since I find that things are now so expensive in Singapore, that if I don't figure out a way to learn to cope with my expenses, I will only get my family into trouble. It was a lucky thing that my performance bonus came along with the growth bonus and I am determined to stash away as much as I can from it for future expenses and emergency use. I have also planned to stash away the money I will be receiving from the government end of this month after I use it to pay off part of my bills.
But you know how in life, you can plan for something but sometimes it will not go according to plan. I just have to learn to cope with life's unexpected twists and turns and come out stronger.
Back to not getting myself into trouble. As an adult approaching thirties soon, there is still much for me to learn. I don't want to end up like one of those people who still find themselves in unnecessary trouble because they just refuse to listen to good advice and just go ahead with their plans without fully being aware what they are getting themselves into. My mum's sister, who is also my aunt, is currently residing in Johore Bahru, in Malaysia and while she and her husband anticipated an easier life because things there are relatively cheaper than Singapore, they found themselves in a fix. They did things without proper planning and my aunt kept asking me for help without sparing a thought for me and my family with the full knowledge that I am the sole breadwinner of my family and we are struggling ourselves too. At times, she kept asking to borrow money from me because they had to pay some lawyer's fees or whatever to secure a home in Johore. And it's not a small amount. And I know she's hurt with the the fact that I can't really help because she somehow always assume that I have a saving to spare.
But really, as much as I want to help, I just find it ludicrous that she and her family are throwing money away just like that without fully being aware what they are getting themselves into. Here in Singapore, my mum is worried sick for her because she herself is not well with a growing lump on her neck and there she is with her husband making one bad decision after another. And it gets me sometimes because she keeps talking on and on about it and being helpless while my aunt kept entertaining her husband's request who clearly is being strong headed and very egoistic.
And lately, she asked me to become a guarantor for a car that she and her family are planning to buy in Malaysia. She said that I did not need to fork out money but she will pay the loan as soon as she can under a five year plan. She was so determined to get the car that she wanted me to come see her on Monday with my IC and payslip. And she was playing the emotional card with me by saying that people don't help her when she's in need. Even if I don't care about her and husband, I should care about her daughter.
Okay frankly speaking, I don't really like her precocious daughter whom we find just plain rude and at times, too vain and spoilt. While my mother doesn't out rightly tell her off though I know she is capable of doing so, I know her patience is running thin coz she can be rather rude to her as well, even when my mum is way older than her. But then, that's just us. To my aunt, she is like the jewel in the sea. As a mother, of course she will do things all in favour of her. However, she also expect people to do the same for her.
While my mum, as her elder sister, is very much concerned for her, she just know that my aunt can be stubborn and refuse to listen to her. And yet, she runs to my mum when she has problems and just plainly forget about us if she's not having any. I don't deny that at several occasions, even when I was younger, she has helped us one way or another. But one of the things that I find super annoying about her is that she easily puts down people and also is gutsy enough to tell people off. Her recent rant is that being educated in Singapore will only make us earn less as compared to being educated in Malaysia and that is why she would rather educate her daughter there. And then according to my mother, she quoted me as being of low pay even with A level.
But my mum came to my defense by retorting back at her by saying well, at least she's employed, in contrast to her who is unemployed and unable to get a job at her age. Of course she is kind enough to not point out that fact to her but simply said that I got a job and I can still support the family as low as my pay can be.
My aunt can say whatever she pleases and diss people for all I care. She can go on and rant about how people don't care about her and stuffs and they're not willing to help her when she's in need. I mean, she got herself into this mess despite my mum's many advices to her but she's just too stubborn until she realizes it herself.
I know that she's my mum's sister. I just find it annoying that she forgets about our family and keep heaping praises on her other extended family members whom she likes to quote as being wealthy with well to do jobs and with cars though it's funny that she lavishes on them instead of the opposite. But when she's in trouble, she looks for me and my mum. Don't you think it's just ridiculous? I asked my mum why she keeps looking for me when it comes to money when her husband has elder sisters whom she always described as being rich?! Why us?!!
As much as my mum refuse to believe that I don't have money despite my complains coz she always said that if I don't have money, how come I always seem to buy the things she requested like food or groceries, she knows that I only have my family's concerns at heart. My aunt can promise me the moon and the stars for me to get back the money but if the amount is a lot, I'm afraid I can't spare her the cash. She always want people to help her but she herself didn't help us when we were in difficult situations and yet we didn't like impose our problems on her. She just plainly say it herself that she doesn't have money. We didn't even ask her for financial help. It's like her way of saying, before you say it, I say it first that I can' help you financial wise.
That's why I told my mum that at times I may be too frugal to her liking when it comes to spending and she hates to shop with me coz of this but I do that sometimes so that we don't have to depend on others. Because you see, when we need help, people are not willing to lend a helping hand, even if we are closely related. Instead, the people whom we have no blood relations, help us instead.
I hope my aunt will wake up and know that most of her problems can be resolved if only she thinks long term before making a commitment to something. While the car may be useful for her daughter as her school is quite far from home, I just felt that it's not necessary if only she doesn't put her daughter to school there. I also hope that my aunt learn to not quickly diss other people and not to have such a big mouth and talk big. It's just going to get herself into unnecessary trouble and then worse still, get us into the mess as well.
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
I have my fair share of troubles and I admit, I got myself into the fix and find it hard to get out of it. But how I got myself into that is because I am sometimes too tired of being overly cautious. I was so tired of taking care of the expenses by cutting back that at one of point of time, I just couldn't care less and just spend and spend until I accumulated enough outstanding bills and the companies demand payment, until even threatened to send a fine. My savings ran out fast. But then I learnt my lesson since I find that things are now so expensive in Singapore, that if I don't figure out a way to learn to cope with my expenses, I will only get my family into trouble. It was a lucky thing that my performance bonus came along with the growth bonus and I am determined to stash away as much as I can from it for future expenses and emergency use. I have also planned to stash away the money I will be receiving from the government end of this month after I use it to pay off part of my bills.
But you know how in life, you can plan for something but sometimes it will not go according to plan. I just have to learn to cope with life's unexpected twists and turns and come out stronger.
Back to not getting myself into trouble. As an adult approaching thirties soon, there is still much for me to learn. I don't want to end up like one of those people who still find themselves in unnecessary trouble because they just refuse to listen to good advice and just go ahead with their plans without fully being aware what they are getting themselves into. My mum's sister, who is also my aunt, is currently residing in Johore Bahru, in Malaysia and while she and her husband anticipated an easier life because things there are relatively cheaper than Singapore, they found themselves in a fix. They did things without proper planning and my aunt kept asking me for help without sparing a thought for me and my family with the full knowledge that I am the sole breadwinner of my family and we are struggling ourselves too. At times, she kept asking to borrow money from me because they had to pay some lawyer's fees or whatever to secure a home in Johore. And it's not a small amount. And I know she's hurt with the the fact that I can't really help because she somehow always assume that I have a saving to spare.
But really, as much as I want to help, I just find it ludicrous that she and her family are throwing money away just like that without fully being aware what they are getting themselves into. Here in Singapore, my mum is worried sick for her because she herself is not well with a growing lump on her neck and there she is with her husband making one bad decision after another. And it gets me sometimes because she keeps talking on and on about it and being helpless while my aunt kept entertaining her husband's request who clearly is being strong headed and very egoistic.
And lately, she asked me to become a guarantor for a car that she and her family are planning to buy in Malaysia. She said that I did not need to fork out money but she will pay the loan as soon as she can under a five year plan. She was so determined to get the car that she wanted me to come see her on Monday with my IC and payslip. And she was playing the emotional card with me by saying that people don't help her when she's in need. Even if I don't care about her and husband, I should care about her daughter.
Okay frankly speaking, I don't really like her precocious daughter whom we find just plain rude and at times, too vain and spoilt. While my mother doesn't out rightly tell her off though I know she is capable of doing so, I know her patience is running thin coz she can be rather rude to her as well, even when my mum is way older than her. But then, that's just us. To my aunt, she is like the jewel in the sea. As a mother, of course she will do things all in favour of her. However, she also expect people to do the same for her.
While my mum, as her elder sister, is very much concerned for her, she just know that my aunt can be stubborn and refuse to listen to her. And yet, she runs to my mum when she has problems and just plainly forget about us if she's not having any. I don't deny that at several occasions, even when I was younger, she has helped us one way or another. But one of the things that I find super annoying about her is that she easily puts down people and also is gutsy enough to tell people off. Her recent rant is that being educated in Singapore will only make us earn less as compared to being educated in Malaysia and that is why she would rather educate her daughter there. And then according to my mother, she quoted me as being of low pay even with A level.
But my mum came to my defense by retorting back at her by saying well, at least she's employed, in contrast to her who is unemployed and unable to get a job at her age. Of course she is kind enough to not point out that fact to her but simply said that I got a job and I can still support the family as low as my pay can be.
My aunt can say whatever she pleases and diss people for all I care. She can go on and rant about how people don't care about her and stuffs and they're not willing to help her when she's in need. I mean, she got herself into this mess despite my mum's many advices to her but she's just too stubborn until she realizes it herself.
I know that she's my mum's sister. I just find it annoying that she forgets about our family and keep heaping praises on her other extended family members whom she likes to quote as being wealthy with well to do jobs and with cars though it's funny that she lavishes on them instead of the opposite. But when she's in trouble, she looks for me and my mum. Don't you think it's just ridiculous? I asked my mum why she keeps looking for me when it comes to money when her husband has elder sisters whom she always described as being rich?! Why us?!!
As much as my mum refuse to believe that I don't have money despite my complains coz she always said that if I don't have money, how come I always seem to buy the things she requested like food or groceries, she knows that I only have my family's concerns at heart. My aunt can promise me the moon and the stars for me to get back the money but if the amount is a lot, I'm afraid I can't spare her the cash. She always want people to help her but she herself didn't help us when we were in difficult situations and yet we didn't like impose our problems on her. She just plainly say it herself that she doesn't have money. We didn't even ask her for financial help. It's like her way of saying, before you say it, I say it first that I can' help you financial wise.
That's why I told my mum that at times I may be too frugal to her liking when it comes to spending and she hates to shop with me coz of this but I do that sometimes so that we don't have to depend on others. Because you see, when we need help, people are not willing to lend a helping hand, even if we are closely related. Instead, the people whom we have no blood relations, help us instead.
I hope my aunt will wake up and know that most of her problems can be resolved if only she thinks long term before making a commitment to something. While the car may be useful for her daughter as her school is quite far from home, I just felt that it's not necessary if only she doesn't put her daughter to school there. I also hope that my aunt learn to not quickly diss other people and not to have such a big mouth and talk big. It's just going to get herself into unnecessary trouble and then worse still, get us into the mess as well.
follow me at http://twitter.com/rahayupopz
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