I have been missing from blogging, havent i? Im still here in one piece but it's just that I kinda lost a bit of mood. My life has been quite a downer recently so I cant actually string words together. I havent been updating my organizer even. It's like Im taking a backseat about everything. But rest assured, Im trying to pick up the pieces as the days go by and hopefully I will start to be more attentive to the going-ons in my life.
The last I spoke about my life is that I had a mild emotional breakdown that led me to go on a food binge, which thankfully, didnt last that long. But dammit, even within that short period of time, who knew that you could easily gain 1kg. Unfortunately, due to the inaccesibility of the good ol' gym, that 1kg might be here to stay for some time which is a sad reminder that one should not turn to food for comfort. Well at least not more than a day.
I'll try to figure out a way to get out of this mess though.
Meanwhile, I shall try to find myself a fruitful hobby that does not require me to acquire points. Yes I admit that my obssession of neopets has gone a little way out of hand but I have made a decision to only play it for half an hour to forty five minutes. It's not going to be easy but hey, I did it today. I didnt have a nagging feeling to achieve a target of five 'jobs' that my neopet had to perform in order to rise in the ranks. Okay partly coz I was feeling a little bit unwell as well.
Actually, I didnt intend to blog today coz I kinda have a headache which may be due to the fact that themonkeys kids are back to school after the June holidays and suddenly I was overwhelmed with work. I received one call after another which didnt let me do my work properly but the funny thing is, I dont know why but I felt a little bit 'perky' today whether I was answering the phone or just generally in the office. So much so I forgot today was a Monday.
Maybe coz I felt a bit happy that I had work to do rather than mop around and do nothing starting from the last one and a half week. I dont remember if I blogged about this but ever since I kinda stopped being a slacker, she actually is a bit nicer to me. Infact she was even talking to me on almost the same level as the rest of my colleagues in the office instead of treating me like Im some alien or something. I, on the other hand, dont think I want to achieve that level of comfort that she has with them because I still cant stand her childish mannerism at times.
Oh, and remember my 'toxic' friend? She has been very pesky the last few weeks that it is almost intolerable. Im really tired of playing this 'trying to convince' game that I really am not able to make it especially without any prior arrangement. I cant just be plucked out and placed somewhere else like a chess piece. Even today I have to play that stupid game again. And I dont get it. I try the best I can as a friend in general but I dont expect people to do the same to me but pls, have some sense of moral as well that people do have a life and when I say cannot, it means cannot. Sighz..
Okay, it's not just about this but seriously, one of the things that I cannot stand but miraculously have patience dealing with it is when people waste their time harping on something even when the answer is a flat no. Okay fine, even I try to play a little convincing game to somehow turn that answer into a 'yes' but I dont try to drag the matter until it is beyond intolerance.
Like for example, just now a parent called to say that her boy lost a gameboy pouch last Thursday so I tried to check the lost and found area. I understand that maybe I may have overlooked and when she refused to believe it was not there, I went in again to check and told her that I doubled checked and even asked my OM if anyone returned, she still could not accept it!
I dont know if there the gameboy pouch is made of gold or stashed with hundreds of dollars but she's harping on the fact that someone told her boy that he saw a teacher take it. That Thursday the boy was having some enrichment lesson and took his break at the canteen so I said that it could be the trainer and not a teacher because the teachers didnt organize these lessons but no, she said teacher.
WTF!
How the f**k would you know..you're not even f**king there!
I said, okay the least I could do is ask the teacher if she could tell me the name but she said, that was the thing, she did not know who. I said okay maybe she had not returned it yet and kept it first so I just let her know if she returned but apparently, she could not wait and asked if I could get back to her by today and to ask all the teachers. I was like 'but there are 90 over teachers!' and yes, I was beginning to lose my cool already.
She just refused to hang up and asked me to check the damn schedule on that Thursday to see who could be around on that day and I said I cant remember who were around coz I dont have their schedule. The only schedule I have was that on that day also the boys did not have any remedial lessons but only some activities or enrichment classes that the teachers do not conduct.
Trust me, she is not the only one who plays this irritating game with me. If it's not about some lost item, it can be about other things.
So I can be, unfortunately a very patient person, and according to Mariah, a wimp coz I give in too easily, but I try to stand my ground as well especially in recent times. Because now I realise that when you try to sacrifice for others, or go out of the way for other people, some people just dont appreciate it.
I dont of course expect people to pay me back in kindness but I've had it up to here about people making a big hoo-haa when the table is turned on them though not purposely.
Like recently I was not able to attend a wedding of an ex classmate of mine or a prior gathering that fell through coz many people were not able to make it. But suddenly my inability to attend had turned me into an ungrateful 'friend'.
Just because he could make it this round and the fact that he's pretty close to this 'friend'. Those words still rang in my head when he said 'of all the people, I dont believe it's coming from you!!!' when I simply asked, how come we never hear from him like dunno if he meant to invite us or not.
Is it wrong for me to ask that when clearly, there was not even a message to formally invite us to his wedding? Of course we know that he is busy but it's just out of politeness to invite us on his own accord. And for all I know, he is not some famous celebrity who relies on his publicist to 'convey' the message through some press meeting about the upcoming nuptials. Even if he did mean to pass us the cards but we could not make it because he tried doing it at the last minute (which make me doubt his sincerity to invite us in the first place) then just mass message us all which is basically just this very small group of us.
I clearly picked a good time to blog, huh? All this frustration is really getting to me sometimes when people stop sparing a thought for others and be very selfish.
Okay, I shall end here and hopefully I wont be posting such an angry post as this one but you know what I mean right when people start expecting more out of you but they have not done the same for you? Thats exactly how Im feeling right now actually.
The one and only,
The last I spoke about my life is that I had a mild emotional breakdown that led me to go on a food binge, which thankfully, didnt last that long. But dammit, even within that short period of time, who knew that you could easily gain 1kg. Unfortunately, due to the inaccesibility of the good ol' gym, that 1kg might be here to stay for some time which is a sad reminder that one should not turn to food for comfort. Well at least not more than a day.
I'll try to figure out a way to get out of this mess though.
Meanwhile, I shall try to find myself a fruitful hobby that does not require me to acquire points. Yes I admit that my obssession of neopets has gone a little way out of hand but I have made a decision to only play it for half an hour to forty five minutes. It's not going to be easy but hey, I did it today. I didnt have a nagging feeling to achieve a target of five 'jobs' that my neopet had to perform in order to rise in the ranks. Okay partly coz I was feeling a little bit unwell as well.
Actually, I didnt intend to blog today coz I kinda have a headache which may be due to the fact that the
Maybe coz I felt a bit happy that I had work to do rather than mop around and do nothing starting from the last one and a half week. I dont remember if I blogged about this but ever since I kinda stopped being a slacker, she actually is a bit nicer to me. Infact she was even talking to me on almost the same level as the rest of my colleagues in the office instead of treating me like Im some alien or something. I, on the other hand, dont think I want to achieve that level of comfort that she has with them because I still cant stand her childish mannerism at times.
Oh, and remember my 'toxic' friend? She has been very pesky the last few weeks that it is almost intolerable. Im really tired of playing this 'trying to convince' game that I really am not able to make it especially without any prior arrangement. I cant just be plucked out and placed somewhere else like a chess piece. Even today I have to play that stupid game again. And I dont get it. I try the best I can as a friend in general but I dont expect people to do the same to me but pls, have some sense of moral as well that people do have a life and when I say cannot, it means cannot. Sighz..
Okay, it's not just about this but seriously, one of the things that I cannot stand but miraculously have patience dealing with it is when people waste their time harping on something even when the answer is a flat no. Okay fine, even I try to play a little convincing game to somehow turn that answer into a 'yes' but I dont try to drag the matter until it is beyond intolerance.
Like for example, just now a parent called to say that her boy lost a gameboy pouch last Thursday so I tried to check the lost and found area. I understand that maybe I may have overlooked and when she refused to believe it was not there, I went in again to check and told her that I doubled checked and even asked my OM if anyone returned, she still could not accept it!
I dont know if there the gameboy pouch is made of gold or stashed with hundreds of dollars but she's harping on the fact that someone told her boy that he saw a teacher take it. That Thursday the boy was having some enrichment lesson and took his break at the canteen so I said that it could be the trainer and not a teacher because the teachers didnt organize these lessons but no, she said teacher.
WTF!
How the f**k would you know..you're not even f**king there!
I said, okay the least I could do is ask the teacher if she could tell me the name but she said, that was the thing, she did not know who. I said okay maybe she had not returned it yet and kept it first so I just let her know if she returned but apparently, she could not wait and asked if I could get back to her by today and to ask all the teachers. I was like 'but there are 90 over teachers!' and yes, I was beginning to lose my cool already.
She just refused to hang up and asked me to check the damn schedule on that Thursday to see who could be around on that day and I said I cant remember who were around coz I dont have their schedule. The only schedule I have was that on that day also the boys did not have any remedial lessons but only some activities or enrichment classes that the teachers do not conduct.
Trust me, she is not the only one who plays this irritating game with me. If it's not about some lost item, it can be about other things.
So I can be, unfortunately a very patient person, and according to Mariah, a wimp coz I give in too easily, but I try to stand my ground as well especially in recent times. Because now I realise that when you try to sacrifice for others, or go out of the way for other people, some people just dont appreciate it.
I dont of course expect people to pay me back in kindness but I've had it up to here about people making a big hoo-haa when the table is turned on them though not purposely.
Like recently I was not able to attend a wedding of an ex classmate of mine or a prior gathering that fell through coz many people were not able to make it. But suddenly my inability to attend had turned me into an ungrateful 'friend'.
Just because he could make it this round and the fact that he's pretty close to this 'friend'. Those words still rang in my head when he said 'of all the people, I dont believe it's coming from you!!!' when I simply asked, how come we never hear from him like dunno if he meant to invite us or not.
Is it wrong for me to ask that when clearly, there was not even a message to formally invite us to his wedding? Of course we know that he is busy but it's just out of politeness to invite us on his own accord. And for all I know, he is not some famous celebrity who relies on his publicist to 'convey' the message through some press meeting about the upcoming nuptials. Even if he did mean to pass us the cards but we could not make it because he tried doing it at the last minute (which make me doubt his sincerity to invite us in the first place) then just mass message us all which is basically just this very small group of us.
I clearly picked a good time to blog, huh? All this frustration is really getting to me sometimes when people stop sparing a thought for others and be very selfish.
Okay, I shall end here and hopefully I wont be posting such an angry post as this one but you know what I mean right when people start expecting more out of you but they have not done the same for you? Thats exactly how Im feeling right now actually.
The one and only,
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