"Living Each Single Day"

Yo.. u know what? I have several pet peeves and the one pet peeve which I simply hate is when people comment...WAY too much like you got no brains of your own or you are still childlike that someone has to tell you off like you are his gawd damn daughter or niece. I eat what I fancy or if I cannot finish...whats left in my bowl is non of your business coz if I can remember correctly, I paid for it and the food goes into my stomach. Im trying my best not to be wasteful and if the person puts way too much of something, doesnt mean I have to finish up every single bit of it and if possible lick the whole bowl up. Of course I know ikan bilis has calcium and that vegetables are good for you whether from the stems or the leaves. I did eat them but if I cant take no more, you have no right to keep on pointing this and pointing that in my bowl and talk in a manner I dont know anything about nutrients. Nobody said anything about her plate of fried carrot cake.....she said herself it was unhealt...

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today and I didnt see the filipino couple just now. Okay, I just realised the actual reason why I kinda snubbed the filipino guy. There was a woman with him and I dont care if that is his sister or just a colleague or friend even though they dont seem that close..a woman means a woman. Not about to take any chances here. But come to think of it, even if there is no such woman in the picture, I.....probably would have reacted the same too. Being shy is not a factor too but my life isnt exciting as of this moment that will keep the so called potential love interest hooked on me that if he lets me go, he will be missing out so much in life...haha..When I think about that, it kinda feels like the cloud 9 being struck by lightning. Oh man..Im so brain numbed now. Maybe my supervisor just had to assign me the task of calculating the statistics of the refraction clinic just now and for once, those people on rotational duties there can write properly or no...

Im slowly adjusting my sleeping time and I can tell you that it is not easy being an imsomniac who can miraculously survive her day throughout later without any signs of slowing down or extreme fatigue. My body works in strange ways...except for that last friday though. It was so bad that I made a data entry error that could have been easily modified but that damn bloody f&*#@ thing was made in such a way that we would not be able to do anything should we chose the option and accidentally submitted the info. . By the way, I was not sleep deprived at that time..believe it or not..but it was due to the two days of gym sessions within the same week after two weeks of hiatus. Dont ask why..let's just say I left my brain somewhere else in those two weeks. I know this is out of context but in line with my previous entry. Just now I got a packet of egg tart coz they could not finish the whole box and dunno who else to dump it at...but me of course. Yay (as in a sarcastic tone). I dont...

Great...just as I was about to lash out to people as a continuation to yesterday..or rather the early morning's ramblings...I had to be in a good mood today. Yes, unbelievable. Monday some more! What's up with me? Okay maybe I finally wore this pink top that i've been meaning to wear for the longest time since..uhm...end of January but never got around it. I mean..pfftt...it's just a top and this is not like the only pink top I have that it feels so freaking precious not to wear it. It's just that it is one of those tops that either can make or break you. Yup, I can be so 'drama' with my clothes. Maybe coz of this lack of self consciousness feeling inside of me today...with no freakin idea why I feel so nullified...I guess I started off on a good note. Or maybe it is just my hair that is looking better and better each day after following Mariah's tip to never touch my hair unnecessarily as it will promote more dust and and grime to stick to it and make i...

My mum is on to me now for sleeping bloody late...and yesterday, it was 5am and she was beginning to wonder if I was watching porn. Gawd...too much of those malay programmes which are saying our youths' minds of today are being corrupted by internet porn freely available through sites like YouTube. Wait, let me clarify this. I.DOnt.WatCh.PoRn. And gay dramas are not categorised under porn unless the whole entire series is about them making out and then you can say i watch porn through late nights. You think I like sleeping this late? Okay, maybe not so bad an idea since no one is here to scream at me or instruct me endlessly but basically, I just like doing me stuffs which may even include doing the occasional buffing of the nails or just basically screwing the internet to make it go connect faster etc etc...And oh, watching video clips of course which is way faster during this time and basically uninterrupted by the sleeping pest outside aka my brother or the people using the broa...

Okay! So I've been meaning to write about this for the longest time but you know me..the easily distracted one. Anyway, the gist of it was already made known to my friend Snow a.k.a. Mariah in denial where I was bitching about my colleagues who were like so taken in by this seminar organized like a week ago about weight management among muslim women. It was a free one and the fact that the talk would be held by a well known nutritionist who also recently helped a fellow popular male celebrity to lose 17kg within 3 months through sensible diet and exercise, I thought heck..why not? COuld pick up useful tips as well as training hours..hehe..Anyway, seeing how enthusiastic this lot of colleagues are and how they have been trying all sorts of ways to lose weight (but apparently..not the proper way..), this seminar may give them the relevant answers. In a way, I applaud her efforts as well as the others who have been working very hard the past few years to control and bring down the sta...

Hello...Im back in the world of blogging..before I start reconfiguring any damages to my system..haha..*touch wood*..I kinda lost myself a bit there turning myself a little into a mad scientist for awhile. It was either not good enough for me or that it can do better. But then again, it has been a good experience coz I got to know a lot of new things..technical jargons included..yawns..and I felt like I have reached yet another level of knowledge. Plus I discovered 'gems' too...gems that are usually known within forums and not quite publicised because they're not meant for profit making. And the best thing about such things are that not only are they free..they do work minus all the bundled shit..I mean..adwares and stuffs. At times they are created by the 'software geniuses'..heh..I like calling them that..who would make a prototype of those popular softwares but in a much simpler mode and which actually works better. They are not geniuses for nothing..and im glad ...

man...I thought i would never see the living daylights of blogger or internet even....coz SOMEONE'S itchy fingers go and scratch more than she should. And all because she wanted to maintain a high download speed when downloading big files such as torrent files. I was this close to getting that coveted download speed but then the next thing, it fell back to less than 1o instead of 50 to 60 kB/s. Oh well...I got so freakin frustrated that I didn't think twice or thrice before changing the numbers and yadah yadah...coz they just HAD to rub it in through the forum that they were able to get at least..I repeat..at least...100 kB/s. And fyi, that's a pretty damn lot. Anyway, whatever it is...the very least I was able to obtain was a higher broadband speed to more than twice its speed which was what I was supposed to get and had paid for every month. I never believed those internet service providers anyway. At least not recently...when I was so freaking mad that they were taking a...

WARNING!~NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED...this is extreme ramblings over some I.T. sh*t Hey... I've been meaning to write for the past few days but I didn't think I was in the mood to write. Not because I have lost my blogging mojo..along with my youth..but I have been busy manipulating my computer. Yes, once in a blue moon, it will go through phases where rahayu will be so hard keen on doing something and making sure she jolly well find the solutions and bloody well make it work. In other words, bitten by the I.T. bug. You know, when this bug come a bi-ting, I will be having a fever...feverishly workin this so-called I.T. project of mine that is. The latest one is a pretty big and requires a lot of searching and less of manipulation..but a heck lot of understanding and trial and error. Unfortunately, for this one...while on the plus side I get to download torrents or video files successfully in the shortest time possible by doing various calculations and brain cracking too, I learn...

Okay...right after that pretty painful summary of my week, I will try my best with this back to back entry with some highlights in my life this week teetering between 'huh?!' and 'yay!'. Yup, I met nats after SOoOooo damn long (wow..thats a year man!) and of course, my good ol' buddy Mariah. I was so excited about it even though I was not that excited about the movie..and still not quite after watching it..but thats besides the point. I think it is just wholly great to be out goofing with your friends making you realise that hey, life isn't all that bad if you know just when to relax and simply chill out. Of course after that it is back to the 'welcome to my complicated life' routine but hey...a quick getaway wouldn't be so bad. Well, actually I dont really like to give full details but hey...a quick summary wont kill..haha! Nats looks great as usual and still lame! After so long of not meeting each other, I thought it would be rather awkward but wit...

Hey... what a week it has been. I can tell you straight up that it SUCKED right from the beginning landing me into tight spots plus depression plus sleepless nights. I was this close to calling it the 'rahayu is so screwed up' week until friday came along and I felt a bit better..almost like being me. Yah, I almost forgot how it was like....being me....the carefree me who has not been bogged down with too many 'adult' problems. But then again, at any point of time, we go through all kinds of problems whether you are straight or queer, single married or divorced, a guy or a girl...or both..so you say that you cant escape from being screwed up. For me, I was so emotionally unstable and came to a point where I just didn't know what to say or do that will make me better except to hope that one day, I get a hold of myself. Right now, I am pretty much still in my own lost world but I know I cant do this to myself because it will only drag me down further. God knows what e...

Would you believe..I just broke my vow. I vowed not to take mc this freakin' year and guess what..I just HAD to look like a red cooked lobster which is growing wart-like thick patches of rashes on the skin at an unbelievable rate. And the last time I had seafood was yonks ago. Well, I don't know wat part of my guts brought me to that forbidden clinic. I only had that one thought that hey...it's just rashes so I'll get over it even though by then they had crept up to my face, that it was already majorly embarassing for me to look up and face the crowd in the same train. It brought back memories where i used to get so paranoid over people..especially the women...who just so happened to look at my really bad skin around my feet area and stared and stared at it. It was nightmare. Even though the rashes didnt look so obvious on my face...yet...it was turning reddish raw in colour like I OD on the blusher. I guess that that was the ultimatum which 'cured' me of my doc...

Well.....I am one heck of a sickly woman. Jz as I was making progress with my flu and im gaining back my so called youth and vitality after being sick for the whole of one week which drains my face completely of blood, I am now suffering from a rashes breakout. Bloody hell....now I have lesser options as to what to wear to work (which is not an easy job, i tell ya) and to think it will go away which it did initially in the morning few hours after waking up coz I had this before when I was in lower primary school. It didn't mean that I was free from any skin infection/allergy/disease though. Thinking about it, I am NOT free and will never ever be free as long as this blood type runs through my vein. But it's just a matter of taking care of the skin and keeping it away from things that will promote rashes or a breakout. Seriously, I don't know what caused it since I slept at 3.30am and didn't have any breakout then. How can just two hours of sleep lead to it?! Anyway, whi...

GREAT. I can envision people who come across my blog and read my last entry to see me as someone who is a gay lovin' racist against her own race anorexic girl. K, let me clear this out..and my throat out as well...I am not a racist against my own race despite writing like Im not proud of my race culture and the young men too. It's just a matter of preference and NOT hatred but doesnt mean Im gonna be all inflexible about it like die die MUST go out with a chinese guy. Gay lovin' I am not. I just see love in a generalistic point of view as in its purest form. Plus the fact that men are better known to hold their emotions stronger than women but in the end, they succumb to their fate of venturing 'beyond the horizon' is not something that is encouraged because it will only give rise to an AIDs epidemic. Still, I just think that we are not addressing the issue correctly here and the more we choose to run away from the root cause, the more problems we have at our hands....

okay....AS promised to a friend who tagged me...despite telling her that it would be tough to get these facts out of me, I shall try and rise up to the challenge. 10 things/habits that i think is perculiar & weird about me: ( so..so hard...) one, I like looking at the chinese men around my age group even though Im not chinese myself. Especially those that are not skinny but broader looking (thanks to gym, maybe?) because they obviously know that rahayu likes her men who dont look or resemble a bamboo pole. Please...to those who think that being tall for a guy is more than enough for a girl to like...by all means...marry another bamboo pole. But shorter. two, I dont like eating outside food like those served in food courts, restaurants or hawker centres not because I am on a strict diet. I just have had enough of them already coz I eat them all the time if I am with a colleague or a friend. They can never be like home cooked food which is cooked with love. They are only there to mak...