The Unknown
well...some things are just meant to be cleared up. Whether it is pent up frustrations...misunderstandings...fear, that kind of stuffs. Actuallie, with a clearer mind, you can think your way through the thick jungle..past some hunky guys who have set residence somewhere in your brain..your world of fantasy (sexual, harry potter-ish..whateva)...and then finally reach that oasis. See, just as I was trying to clear my mind while typing this out, I suddenly remembered that two hours ago, I was googling for Heath Ledger. And I have yet to scrutinize the results.
Anyway, yeah..for me, I understand that I tend to fear for the unknown. My sleeplessness has given me a pretty massive headache from thinking..er..too much. What the hell...I am still in the 'is jake gyllenhaal handsome?' or is he not my type..but being all cloudy up there...I think he is but I am in great denial. That sets me to the next question which I have not really thought about...do I like guys with a masculine look or a boyish look? Err....gah..i think I will screw both of them up! Okay, I meant...I will mix up both looks...so they're not too masculine nor too boyish. LEt's see...who have that sorta criteria. Eh, how about tobey maguire? He has this boyish appeal...UNTIL..he bloody hell takes his t shirt off. Now that body...totally freakingly..masculine! Wooh! Rahayu loves guys with abs!! Okay, so what if the production management had asked him to whip his ass up for the part of Spider-man. Otherwise, before this he was just some scrawny geek guy..with great acting talents no doubt...but still...scrawny geeky guy. HRm, know what...now I am the one who is all mixed up...what has a hunky body got to do with a boyish or masculine look?!!
ALrite! Let's end this silly argument right here right now. Jake Gyllenhaal is handsome...and masculine...but...narh....I don't really fancy him. I don't quite like his look...like there's something not quite right..I dunno, I think it's his jaws la. But why this sudden confusion when all this while I have cleared him through the immigration gate to my brain? Yeah..that darn Brokeback Mountain. NOw he...looked gorgeous in that movie...which I supposed was the cause of my hot guy radar getting mixed signals from all directions. Tsk, the wizardry of costume and make up department of the movie. I think they had purposely dolled him up to sell the movie. Definitely ang lee's hidden agenda is to make Jake play a character that is swoon-worthy to attract his legion of female fans....heck he was naked in the movie a few times. I guess many of his 'gyllenhaalics' fainted in the movie theaters and came out of it knowing nothing about what Brokeback Mountain was all about.
But, okay...I sheepishly admit I have fallen for.....his blue eyes. Fuwah, I didn't know the power of a guy's puppy eyes until I saw his. Before this I keep thinking like why some girls can be so completely smitten by guys who have those sad longing puppy eyes until they become so powerless. I, for once, understood their state of confusion during that gaze period. Completely mesmerized. I've said before...any straight men would go to bed with him..if he gives that long daze of his sky blue eyes that penetrates any soul with great intensification. I hate you Jake. Hell, I hate myself for that!
*pauses for few seconds*...Okay, so I had to calm myself down for awhile as my imagination went overloaded with images of his blue eyes. Yup, actuallie...I am feeling a tad better today compared to my dreary weekend...onlie perked up by watching jason mraz performances on the net, listening to him on his cd and watching Brokeback. Then as I tot about the impending monday, I went into a total reclusive mode. There was this intense fear...more like..fear of the unknown. Sometimes I tried to identify what made me so fearful and realised that they were pretty ambiguous. Like..how my partner would be like (despite working with her a few times)..how work was going to be in yet another new environment since I work in the field. Basically, tonnes of things. Although when it comes to the actual crunch, I tried to be all positive about it. Like what's the point of dragging your misery...I guess we all do sometimes make a mountain out of a molehill (err..something like that). So, after awhile...I do think that I make such a big deal. But, it's just natural to amplify things up a bit as it makes you mentally prepared. At the same time, mentally and physically weary also. Like my headaches..haha. Man, it's tough to be me.
Anyway, yeah..for me, I understand that I tend to fear for the unknown. My sleeplessness has given me a pretty massive headache from thinking..er..too much. What the hell...I am still in the 'is jake gyllenhaal handsome?' or is he not my type..but being all cloudy up there...I think he is but I am in great denial. That sets me to the next question which I have not really thought about...do I like guys with a masculine look or a boyish look? Err....gah..i think I will screw both of them up! Okay, I meant...I will mix up both looks...so they're not too masculine nor too boyish. LEt's see...who have that sorta criteria. Eh, how about tobey maguire? He has this boyish appeal...UNTIL..he bloody hell takes his t shirt off. Now that body...totally freakingly..masculine! Wooh! Rahayu loves guys with abs!! Okay, so what if the production management had asked him to whip his ass up for the part of Spider-man. Otherwise, before this he was just some scrawny geek guy..with great acting talents no doubt...but still...scrawny geeky guy. HRm, know what...now I am the one who is all mixed up...what has a hunky body got to do with a boyish or masculine look?!!
ALrite! Let's end this silly argument right here right now. Jake Gyllenhaal is handsome...and masculine...but...narh....I don't really fancy him. I don't quite like his look...like there's something not quite right..I dunno, I think it's his jaws la. But why this sudden confusion when all this while I have cleared him through the immigration gate to my brain? Yeah..that darn Brokeback Mountain. NOw he...looked gorgeous in that movie...which I supposed was the cause of my hot guy radar getting mixed signals from all directions. Tsk, the wizardry of costume and make up department of the movie. I think they had purposely dolled him up to sell the movie. Definitely ang lee's hidden agenda is to make Jake play a character that is swoon-worthy to attract his legion of female fans....heck he was naked in the movie a few times. I guess many of his 'gyllenhaalics' fainted in the movie theaters and came out of it knowing nothing about what Brokeback Mountain was all about.
But, okay...I sheepishly admit I have fallen for.....his blue eyes. Fuwah, I didn't know the power of a guy's puppy eyes until I saw his. Before this I keep thinking like why some girls can be so completely smitten by guys who have those sad longing puppy eyes until they become so powerless. I, for once, understood their state of confusion during that gaze period. Completely mesmerized. I've said before...any straight men would go to bed with him..if he gives that long daze of his sky blue eyes that penetrates any soul with great intensification. I hate you Jake. Hell, I hate myself for that!
*pauses for few seconds*...Okay, so I had to calm myself down for awhile as my imagination went overloaded with images of his blue eyes. Yup, actuallie...I am feeling a tad better today compared to my dreary weekend...onlie perked up by watching jason mraz performances on the net, listening to him on his cd and watching Brokeback. Then as I tot about the impending monday, I went into a total reclusive mode. There was this intense fear...more like..fear of the unknown. Sometimes I tried to identify what made me so fearful and realised that they were pretty ambiguous. Like..how my partner would be like (despite working with her a few times)..how work was going to be in yet another new environment since I work in the field. Basically, tonnes of things. Although when it comes to the actual crunch, I tried to be all positive about it. Like what's the point of dragging your misery...I guess we all do sometimes make a mountain out of a molehill (err..something like that). So, after awhile...I do think that I make such a big deal. But, it's just natural to amplify things up a bit as it makes you mentally prepared. At the same time, mentally and physically weary also. Like my headaches..haha. Man, it's tough to be me.
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