Almost Over
i don't know if you are able to view this link but anyway, it's a great original acoustic song from.....you got it!! JASON MRAZ!!
http://www.jasonmraz.com/multimedia/MRAZ-GypsyMC-HIGH.mov
it's a bit long but you hardly notice coz he just sings and sings in his sweetest voice. Now this is a music genius who picked up playing guitar at a very late stage so he sorta have onlie less than ten years of guitar experience. However, his vast knowledge of music from rhythm & blues, jazz, motown...even pop...blends seamlessly together in his songs. But did you know at one point, he hated music? I mean, he didn't hate it like totally....he didn't like what people were doing to music with its mumbo jumbo of electronic sounds like those produced by the computers. However, his friends' array of musical influence and their continous support to the different genres out there gave him back the energy to just like music in its originality. It got stuck on him and he appreciates music much more than ever resulting in richer and more meaningful songs as evident from his lastest album.
it doesnt take a genius to figure out that I wasn't in the best of mood for almost a month. Everything seemed so scary....so nerve wrecking....and even if it has not happened yet...I keep thinking of the worst but not the good side of it. I also don't know what am I supposed to do with myself. I seemed to have lost my guidance in life and still figuring out what the hell am I doing here although I did tentatively drew up a plan. It also felt like nobody seems to care about me..like how I feel..see if I am ok or not...not even my family like my mum and brother especially. They are just engrossed on what they should eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I have to go out and get it. Oh, and my mum's spending habits is a kille despite my attempt to remind her to be careful about spending as money tends to run out quite fast. But all fell on deaf ears and have to be totally careful with her..like she can't be intimidated or what although it is onlie a remark. For example, me telling her that quite a lot of my salary from the account she used the ATm card was paid for unnecessary things like those slightly fancy restaurant like Swensens and some indonesian restaurant at Takashimaya. I tot twice and thrice about buying things..in the end I didn't even get it the blue jeans as I thought that it may turn out to be totally not necessary.
And not meeting up with my friends for so so darn long already...including my good friend from secondary since she has been too caught up with tests and projects. I mean, not that I am complaining I lack companionship or what although it sometimes felt that way. But somehow, something is just isn't right and I think too much. Simply too much. I got 'invited' back to my dreams of so-not-reality and it set my mind far away as I imagined about some movie which I made up in my mind. To me, it's sorta like an escapade from the dreary and mundane things that I have to do or are currently being asked to do..no questions asked.
But i have to come back to earth. I can't be living in my own little bubble...dreaming away like I am truly somewhere out there but still standing on the same bloody spot. Just that it isn't easy...coz whenever i come back down to earth, I feel tat i have to conform to society's standard of what is right and what is wrong. However, I do know that deep inside, I know I am doing the right thing..with no major influence whatsoever. It's damn hard you know trying to focus at times that I can't snap out of it..and I kinda sidetracked. It's like whatever i do is just not right..not good enough...it's me definitely...but still not good enough.
I call it...one of those you can never put a smile on your face no matter how hard you try. Those sad droopy eyes...those downward lips....it's just a sad forlorn look. But you know what..I can finally finally....and finally say that my cloudy days are almost over once i inculcate the 'it's nothing, really' motto in my life. Also knowing that I am not alone facing problems which I can't really put my finger on it..while other people are having real problems that are affecting them physically and emotionally. Me? Im just trying to reassess everything in my life that haven't actually put a black hole in me..just that I only think of the worst that could happen. Do you call that problem or I have just made it up and have it become such a big hoo-ha?
Right. I shouldn't call it depression. I should be glad that I am seriously thinking about what am I doing right now and how to get things done right this time. Like one fine morning, I woke up with a positive vibe in me which said that I won't let anybody down this time which unfortunately, only changed me for that one particular day only. So now what? Who is gonna help me this time? That vibe may have come suddenly and go away quietly...but I can make it come back. I know I can. It doesn't just come out from nowhere. It comes out from me. SO that means I can make it come back.
I have laid down my plans and I am determined to make it happen. I won't get easily distracted. I have thought about what I want to do for my studies...how much I am planning to save each month...I cut down on my spending expenditure already....I think more about others than just myself....I am more focused on my diet and halfway to losing 10kg...and best of all, I am more confident which somehow, other people have felt and made positive comments.
I thank you all for indirectly letting me out of my dreary dungeon. I thank you all for letting me know that people do care about me...and I thank you for staying with me at times like this where I don't know what the hell am i here for on earth. Everyone has a black period but how jason mraz puts it...there is The Remedy to it..and thats...Don't Worry!
http://www.jasonmraz.com/multimedia/MRAZ-GypsyMC-HIGH.mov
it's a bit long but you hardly notice coz he just sings and sings in his sweetest voice. Now this is a music genius who picked up playing guitar at a very late stage so he sorta have onlie less than ten years of guitar experience. However, his vast knowledge of music from rhythm & blues, jazz, motown...even pop...blends seamlessly together in his songs. But did you know at one point, he hated music? I mean, he didn't hate it like totally....he didn't like what people were doing to music with its mumbo jumbo of electronic sounds like those produced by the computers. However, his friends' array of musical influence and their continous support to the different genres out there gave him back the energy to just like music in its originality. It got stuck on him and he appreciates music much more than ever resulting in richer and more meaningful songs as evident from his lastest album.
it doesnt take a genius to figure out that I wasn't in the best of mood for almost a month. Everything seemed so scary....so nerve wrecking....and even if it has not happened yet...I keep thinking of the worst but not the good side of it. I also don't know what am I supposed to do with myself. I seemed to have lost my guidance in life and still figuring out what the hell am I doing here although I did tentatively drew up a plan. It also felt like nobody seems to care about me..like how I feel..see if I am ok or not...not even my family like my mum and brother especially. They are just engrossed on what they should eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I have to go out and get it. Oh, and my mum's spending habits is a kille despite my attempt to remind her to be careful about spending as money tends to run out quite fast. But all fell on deaf ears and have to be totally careful with her..like she can't be intimidated or what although it is onlie a remark. For example, me telling her that quite a lot of my salary from the account she used the ATm card was paid for unnecessary things like those slightly fancy restaurant like Swensens and some indonesian restaurant at Takashimaya. I tot twice and thrice about buying things..in the end I didn't even get it the blue jeans as I thought that it may turn out to be totally not necessary.
And not meeting up with my friends for so so darn long already...including my good friend from secondary since she has been too caught up with tests and projects. I mean, not that I am complaining I lack companionship or what although it sometimes felt that way. But somehow, something is just isn't right and I think too much. Simply too much. I got 'invited' back to my dreams of so-not-reality and it set my mind far away as I imagined about some movie which I made up in my mind. To me, it's sorta like an escapade from the dreary and mundane things that I have to do or are currently being asked to do..no questions asked.
But i have to come back to earth. I can't be living in my own little bubble...dreaming away like I am truly somewhere out there but still standing on the same bloody spot. Just that it isn't easy...coz whenever i come back down to earth, I feel tat i have to conform to society's standard of what is right and what is wrong. However, I do know that deep inside, I know I am doing the right thing..with no major influence whatsoever. It's damn hard you know trying to focus at times that I can't snap out of it..and I kinda sidetracked. It's like whatever i do is just not right..not good enough...it's me definitely...but still not good enough.
I call it...one of those you can never put a smile on your face no matter how hard you try. Those sad droopy eyes...those downward lips....it's just a sad forlorn look. But you know what..I can finally finally....and finally say that my cloudy days are almost over once i inculcate the 'it's nothing, really' motto in my life. Also knowing that I am not alone facing problems which I can't really put my finger on it..while other people are having real problems that are affecting them physically and emotionally. Me? Im just trying to reassess everything in my life that haven't actually put a black hole in me..just that I only think of the worst that could happen. Do you call that problem or I have just made it up and have it become such a big hoo-ha?
Right. I shouldn't call it depression. I should be glad that I am seriously thinking about what am I doing right now and how to get things done right this time. Like one fine morning, I woke up with a positive vibe in me which said that I won't let anybody down this time which unfortunately, only changed me for that one particular day only. So now what? Who is gonna help me this time? That vibe may have come suddenly and go away quietly...but I can make it come back. I know I can. It doesn't just come out from nowhere. It comes out from me. SO that means I can make it come back.
I have laid down my plans and I am determined to make it happen. I won't get easily distracted. I have thought about what I want to do for my studies...how much I am planning to save each month...I cut down on my spending expenditure already....I think more about others than just myself....I am more focused on my diet and halfway to losing 10kg...and best of all, I am more confident which somehow, other people have felt and made positive comments.
I thank you all for indirectly letting me out of my dreary dungeon. I thank you all for letting me know that people do care about me...and I thank you for staying with me at times like this where I don't know what the hell am i here for on earth. Everyone has a black period but how jason mraz puts it...there is The Remedy to it..and thats...Don't Worry!
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