"Not worth getting worked up OveR"

yes..i know it sucked. like what's the big deal with that 1 kg weight gain?! To me...having to lose 0.5kg or half a kg is a big deal in itself and after having battling it out in the gym..onlie to be attacked by a massive flu attack that lasted for weeks....which therefore brings about the weight gain from stopping exercise suddenly.....it was definitely a big deal. A damn big deal. But.....I'm disappointed with myself right now not because i gained that extra bit of weight i took a long time to shed.....but disappointed at myself for not being able to handle it properly.

I was desperate...I needed a quick solution coz i set myself this deadline that i'll lose 6kg by my bdae and even if i'm still as fat as ever..at least i do look like i lost weight. It's so hard sometimes seeing urself stick out like a sore thumb in a picture of ur friends looking their best....where else me..the first thing people would notice is how i stick out. A little bit of blend-in would help....yet...come to think of it...what have i become? gawdddddd.......i'm so mighty confused. Im supposed to be this happy HAPPY person...who as if spends her day just becoming a couch potato or spends hours at the computer and at the same time..eating any available potato chips nearby. Tell you frankly..I don't. Maybe coz I spent three consecutive days...at the gym..today being the last the gym session is spent jogging for up to 45 minutes. Perhaps that caused me some stress....as you need mental power to overcome ur sudde intention to Maybe coz my colleague's frequent remarks over her weight and weight loss which is gradual too for every single time she goes on the weighing machine ..kinda put pressure on me like 'hey gal! wake up and smell the coffee!" Maybe also coz my other colleague's quite frequent persuasion to take the slimming pills as recommended by her friend's doctor which did some wonders for her. she looks leaner now like she lost a few inches here and there and people...just couldn't help but notice it...and they were like asking her...wat's her secret? prior to that..she was already telling me to get the pills from her doctor which is 30 plus...for a month's supply..and a month is all i need if i want to see quick results. Thereafter..i dont reallie need to take every month and then...the weight is off..not on permanently. Then she can imagine me..on top of my current exercise regime..i will look like 'wow!' After that..she told me to ask her if i'm going so she can show me the place...Actuallie..i'm not big on pills whether i'm sick or not...but if it's worth taking and then with my friend losing weight and people's commentary on her new look...like why not...was taking at that point of time.


Oh yeah..while people were busie complimenting her all of a sudden during a gathering...she suddenly like gestured to me..like hey..you should try. Those pills help to curb her hunger..and she doesnt even actuallie have to go to gym since her schedule don't permit her unlike mine..but she went for a quick jog as she couldn't sleep if she didn't get herself tired. Then when she told me all that..was thinking if me..goin to the gym..has been a big waste of time or not? Like rite now...u see i gradually increased right up to that 1kg...and i felt so desperate yesterday such as contemplating to get the commercial pills.

But then again..I dont think I should be so pressurized eh? Just take things slowly at one time. Anyway i started this thing with the mentality of not looking like a model...simply wanting to lose some weight...and then look and feel better. I shouldn't despair if i have gained back that 1kg and it's merely because i was sick..not that i was angry with myself that i decided to wallop everything on site. I should say.....it's how u feel that matters...not how others perceive u to be. If people don't praise u on ur weight loss or something so what? They're not the ones who are going to buy you new clothes....and give me some self esteem. It's me myself! How i feel inside reflects on how i look outside. And it doesn't mean slim people have all the confidence in the world! Everybody has their own sets of problems. Sure...when u're slimmer people have more respect for u like take u seriously but if u're fat or plump....sometimes they don't coz we look so clumsy and all.....then they always have this perception that we eat a lot. Eat damn a lot...like a hundred and one serving or something....And also people outside with slimming gimmicks are forever trying to persuade u to try their products. But...are they reallie there to help us...or make huge amounts of money from our misery...and when they end up with a bigger revenue..we may end up slimmer but not necessarily healthier. And then to think...that their slimmin plan does not require any form of rocket science. It's simply what people have been saying...eat the right food...have a balanced meal...exercise frequently...something that is easy to say but difficult to practise..and all depending on our own willpower. Except this time..the slimming centres decide to capitalise on that...and what do we get? A slimmer (if lah..) with a big hole in our pocket..of which we are going to gain it back pronto..if we lack the willpower again.

So i guess the moral of the story for me is...don't get so worked up over that 1kg..and don't get myself sucked in to other people's weight loss success stories with their slimming pills and what have they........i'm me...they are them.....people have a variety of reasons in wanting to lose weight....mine is simply to look a bit more leaner in my clothes and that it won't be so hard to scout for clothes. I am not giving up. I am simply gonna look that slight weight gain as a motivation to watch what i eat so that the same thing won't happen again. I'm not gonna that 1kg..put me down. Right...........so i'm back to being me again!

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