COnfessions of an UnloveD gal..
Talk about romance, I have none. Like wow..am I that undesirable no one ever asked me for a date? Err..save for that occasional, not forgetting UNCOUNTED ones, from those who asked me via my phone. Lets just say..it's waaayyyy history story..haha. Okay, short summary. At my lowest point during teenage hood, I engaged in a series of marathon yakking on the phone through popular chatlines where I got to know guys. Damn, how could I ever be so 'addicted' to those damn phonelines?! The onlie answer I could think of was how determined I was in trying to hook up to get a boyfriend. Right..the truth is finallie out. Yes..yes..it wasn't 'I just want to get to know guy friends' thing. In a world, or should I say, country, where slim's the word, to get a date who would like me for who I am, no matter what size I am, is er...a slim chance indeed. Thus, I got engaged in 'hot stuffs' of the moment..which was the chatlines and mirc. Wat's mirc? If you're asking me that, lucky you. DOn't get engaged in them unless you want to cock up a story you're some prettie white ass chick who just wants to chat up with guys for fun. Okay, don't look at me..I am not suggesting anything. I did get luckie but unfortunately, the guys came across as more psychotic than romantic.
So, I got stood up by a guy whom I had been chatting on the phone for almost a year. Then there was also a guy who went on an overseas trip for 6 months onlie to come back and promised to give me a call. He did give me a call as promised onlie to give the final call on that very day. I had put all these behind me...and....had to bite my lips and said, well gal...if you wanna romance, we'll do the ol' fashion way even if nobody expresses any interest. At least, they would like you for what you are not by how you speak or sound like on the phone.
It has been..erm....5 years ever since I stopped chatting online and on the chatlines. And throughout these 5 yrs, nobody has asked me out. Forget the friendly, 'hey let's go out and check this movie out. Heard it's great' thing..or 'you wanna go for coffee?'. The second one I had been asked..by gal pals. Over the years, I tot I had put on weight..looked more frumpy day by day....while others are rejoicing in the latest hair colour..or the tiniest outfit around...and I was more concerned in finding clothes that would fit me..so forget about being 'in fashion'.
But good thing I wasn't born a hapless romantic. Not being asked out isn't a problem to me. When I am outside, when guys kinda looked, I onlie rationalised that narh....he just happened to look my way. Not the..'gosh, I think he's interested in me..argh!! what should I do? what should I do?!' Plus, I always looked unfriendly. Dunno whether to blame it on my duh look when I am not talking to anyone. Infact, when I talk to people..I tot I looked duh too...haha...I simply don't have the friendly look where guys would be mesmerized in asking me for my number. Then being physically big too, I always think I look bigger than your average joes. I don't want to go out with a guy where I am always being compared as being 'bigger' than my boyfriend. Na-uh...So you think I should aim for guys who are bigger than me? Well...............I am not discriminating, but I feel that I shouldn't just stick to big guys just coz I'm big....and that I do have a varied taste in guys. Just ask anyone I know..!
My mum thinks I'm crazy for liking david caruso (of csi:miami fame) whom she never fails to mention that's he's old and wrinkly whenever I watched his shows. He's onlie forty plus! Plus he's so gorgeous and has this 'air' of mystery and wisdom..SIghz..........don't make me go on. Oh, and err...how I kinda liked this mcdonald's manager who is this tall and skinny guy who couldn't even bare to ask a customer something on an order he missed. Instead he asked his own crew member. But I was so mesmerized when he scolded this small gang of adolescent malay guys who were making so much noise and disturbing a customer..sighz...oh! how about the current mcdonald's manager who's tall and looked married enough, but with a plastered down hairstyle and panda eyes...who appeared occasionally...and I'd gladly say he's not handsome. However he has this certain charm like I can imagine him showering me poems after poems though I have no clue what the heck he's saying coz I just have a lack of literary interest.
Oh, how about my most famous, at least in own personal life, love interest back in secondary school? I liked him for the whole of my secondary life and even 'stalked' him. Okay..I was paranoid. I asked him out a few times but damn it, if there's a guy whom I'd gladly say is stupid enuf to NOT recognise my advances, it's him.
But blame it on my non-existent social life which onlie showed up during someone's birthday or someone's bored moment to simply have some company for coffee. However, I am very happy everytime I meet my friend or friends because the fact that I don't always see them, every gathering or meet ups is so special. Though it's not so much varied like I get to see their other friends and stuff..it's often just among us. So, I don't have any of that...'oh i get to know this guy from a friend of mine' stuff which my other friends are prettie famous for. Basically, I'd come home everyday carrying bags of food or groceries as my mum never fails to ask me get stuffs for my father's dinner and for my brother to munch on. What's a girl to do....when you're older and capable of buying stuffs from anywhere....it's just an added responsbility. Being a 'maid' for your family. Therefore, I don't have that 'me' time outside where I'd just sit and watch the world goes by. Then catch the interest of another guy who had been staring at me from across my table..hahaha...
I spend most of my time online or helping my brother with his homework and studies when I come back home from werk. Watch tv with family then vacuum the house..watch more tv....play my online games or read photoshop books while listening to radio. I heard of stories from my colleague who always had someone to replace her former boyfriend who is either a friend of her ex, a friend's friend of her ex....a chatline buddy..or a friend of her former chatline buddy cum boyfriend. It's so complicated that it's no wonder sometimes she gets so depressive whenever a relationship goes sour. Then how about other people who are already set to get married to a guy they have been dating for years even, onlie to find someone way better than the current guy and falls into a dilemma as to whom to choose.
For me, as to how rosy some people tend to paint the picture of their love life, onlie they would know what they are actually going through. Like how controlling their boyfriends are over their life..including their wardrobe and their friends. I dunno....maybe I could be like my friend who was so damn ecstatic over a guy whom she mustered the courage to sound him for a date and had him agree to it as well. But later on, have no news about him that she almost gave up on the prospect of having a relationship with him.
Blame it on my simplistic yet realistic outlook on life. I would always think that there's always something better for me, if onlie I am patient enough to wait. Or that I would make myself think perhaps, it's not here in sunny Singapore that I would have a guy to ask me out. I don't see myself restricting myself to just Singapore guys. Who knows I would get to know a guy who is not Singaporean? And no..I don't just mean handsome and droolworthy American, Swedish, Kiwi or British guys though that would be the best day of my life..woo hoo! Ahem..And I don't have dreams of a real life crown prince who decides to make me his wife upon his first impression. I'd seriously believe he left his glasses at home or he simply lost touch of reality.
Then I don't want to see myself hooking up with a guy who doesn't have any financial readiness and only spends and spends. So what if he's good at sweet talking and showering me with presents but onlie to treat me like dirt when he's not busie apologising to me.
Like come on gals...don't fret if you haven't been asked out. I always believe that this is a good time period for some 'feel good' sessions where you should be out buying make up, prettie shoes, new clothes and toppin up on your knowledge on things that interest you and current affairs. Then, engage urself in hobbies that would keep you off your 'I am alone' stigma. Have some self-respect for yourself. If you are like me, still waiting for that one fine day, where a guy would casually ask you out for a movie, then just think, they're probably waiting for a better you..hehe..Or do this. YOU ask the guy out for a change and see their reaction! If they don't mind going out with you...then gal, start out from there! If they are like..well....act as if they got 'other plans'...don't feel down. He's NOT worth ur time!! hahaha...or try again. He's probably shocked from you asking him out so ask him again once he is out of this 'it can't be happening' syndrome.
Chill out peepz..!
So, I got stood up by a guy whom I had been chatting on the phone for almost a year. Then there was also a guy who went on an overseas trip for 6 months onlie to come back and promised to give me a call. He did give me a call as promised onlie to give the final call on that very day. I had put all these behind me...and....had to bite my lips and said, well gal...if you wanna romance, we'll do the ol' fashion way even if nobody expresses any interest. At least, they would like you for what you are not by how you speak or sound like on the phone.
It has been..erm....5 years ever since I stopped chatting online and on the chatlines. And throughout these 5 yrs, nobody has asked me out. Forget the friendly, 'hey let's go out and check this movie out. Heard it's great' thing..or 'you wanna go for coffee?'. The second one I had been asked..by gal pals. Over the years, I tot I had put on weight..looked more frumpy day by day....while others are rejoicing in the latest hair colour..or the tiniest outfit around...and I was more concerned in finding clothes that would fit me..so forget about being 'in fashion'.
But good thing I wasn't born a hapless romantic. Not being asked out isn't a problem to me. When I am outside, when guys kinda looked, I onlie rationalised that narh....he just happened to look my way. Not the..'gosh, I think he's interested in me..argh!! what should I do? what should I do?!' Plus, I always looked unfriendly. Dunno whether to blame it on my duh look when I am not talking to anyone. Infact, when I talk to people..I tot I looked duh too...haha...I simply don't have the friendly look where guys would be mesmerized in asking me for my number. Then being physically big too, I always think I look bigger than your average joes. I don't want to go out with a guy where I am always being compared as being 'bigger' than my boyfriend. Na-uh...So you think I should aim for guys who are bigger than me? Well...............I am not discriminating, but I feel that I shouldn't just stick to big guys just coz I'm big....and that I do have a varied taste in guys. Just ask anyone I know..!
My mum thinks I'm crazy for liking david caruso (of csi:miami fame) whom she never fails to mention that's he's old and wrinkly whenever I watched his shows. He's onlie forty plus! Plus he's so gorgeous and has this 'air' of mystery and wisdom..SIghz..........don't make me go on. Oh, and err...how I kinda liked this mcdonald's manager who is this tall and skinny guy who couldn't even bare to ask a customer something on an order he missed. Instead he asked his own crew member. But I was so mesmerized when he scolded this small gang of adolescent malay guys who were making so much noise and disturbing a customer..sighz...oh! how about the current mcdonald's manager who's tall and looked married enough, but with a plastered down hairstyle and panda eyes...who appeared occasionally...and I'd gladly say he's not handsome. However he has this certain charm like I can imagine him showering me poems after poems though I have no clue what the heck he's saying coz I just have a lack of literary interest.
Oh, how about my most famous, at least in own personal life, love interest back in secondary school? I liked him for the whole of my secondary life and even 'stalked' him. Okay..I was paranoid. I asked him out a few times but damn it, if there's a guy whom I'd gladly say is stupid enuf to NOT recognise my advances, it's him.
But blame it on my non-existent social life which onlie showed up during someone's birthday or someone's bored moment to simply have some company for coffee. However, I am very happy everytime I meet my friend or friends because the fact that I don't always see them, every gathering or meet ups is so special. Though it's not so much varied like I get to see their other friends and stuff..it's often just among us. So, I don't have any of that...'oh i get to know this guy from a friend of mine' stuff which my other friends are prettie famous for. Basically, I'd come home everyday carrying bags of food or groceries as my mum never fails to ask me get stuffs for my father's dinner and for my brother to munch on. What's a girl to do....when you're older and capable of buying stuffs from anywhere....it's just an added responsbility. Being a 'maid' for your family. Therefore, I don't have that 'me' time outside where I'd just sit and watch the world goes by. Then catch the interest of another guy who had been staring at me from across my table..hahaha...
I spend most of my time online or helping my brother with his homework and studies when I come back home from werk. Watch tv with family then vacuum the house..watch more tv....play my online games or read photoshop books while listening to radio. I heard of stories from my colleague who always had someone to replace her former boyfriend who is either a friend of her ex, a friend's friend of her ex....a chatline buddy..or a friend of her former chatline buddy cum boyfriend. It's so complicated that it's no wonder sometimes she gets so depressive whenever a relationship goes sour. Then how about other people who are already set to get married to a guy they have been dating for years even, onlie to find someone way better than the current guy and falls into a dilemma as to whom to choose.
For me, as to how rosy some people tend to paint the picture of their love life, onlie they would know what they are actually going through. Like how controlling their boyfriends are over their life..including their wardrobe and their friends. I dunno....maybe I could be like my friend who was so damn ecstatic over a guy whom she mustered the courage to sound him for a date and had him agree to it as well. But later on, have no news about him that she almost gave up on the prospect of having a relationship with him.
Blame it on my simplistic yet realistic outlook on life. I would always think that there's always something better for me, if onlie I am patient enough to wait. Or that I would make myself think perhaps, it's not here in sunny Singapore that I would have a guy to ask me out. I don't see myself restricting myself to just Singapore guys. Who knows I would get to know a guy who is not Singaporean? And no..I don't just mean handsome and droolworthy American, Swedish, Kiwi or British guys though that would be the best day of my life..woo hoo! Ahem..And I don't have dreams of a real life crown prince who decides to make me his wife upon his first impression. I'd seriously believe he left his glasses at home or he simply lost touch of reality.
Then I don't want to see myself hooking up with a guy who doesn't have any financial readiness and only spends and spends. So what if he's good at sweet talking and showering me with presents but onlie to treat me like dirt when he's not busie apologising to me.
Like come on gals...don't fret if you haven't been asked out. I always believe that this is a good time period for some 'feel good' sessions where you should be out buying make up, prettie shoes, new clothes and toppin up on your knowledge on things that interest you and current affairs. Then, engage urself in hobbies that would keep you off your 'I am alone' stigma. Have some self-respect for yourself. If you are like me, still waiting for that one fine day, where a guy would casually ask you out for a movie, then just think, they're probably waiting for a better you..hehe..Or do this. YOU ask the guy out for a change and see their reaction! If they don't mind going out with you...then gal, start out from there! If they are like..well....act as if they got 'other plans'...don't feel down. He's NOT worth ur time!! hahaha...or try again. He's probably shocked from you asking him out so ask him again once he is out of this 'it can't be happening' syndrome.
Chill out peepz..!
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