Uncertainty of the Future
Actually, I have only half an hour to type out a whole blog post, which to me, isnt exactly enough given my 'gift' of blabbering redundant stuffs. Anyway, Im often thinking about the uncertainty of the future of my family and more precisely how am i going to cope with the family's expenditures in time to come like my brother's schooling needs and my father's hospital appointments. Being a single income earner is never an easy job. Of course I do have a bit of jealousy seeing people spend their money and not thinking going into some deep thought like me on whether to buy or not to buy. Sometimes I do feel bad about it if I am a little bit controlling over my family's daily expenses but not to an extent I forgo the necessities like bread. My mum doesnt cook so the money meant for marketing, in what people call it as, is used to buy outside food like over the weekends.
People do think that this is a waste of money and pretty ironic as well since Im quite uptight about the family budget but actually, it's more or less the same depending on what you buy at the market and how much you cook for the family. The only difference is that home cooked food is never the same as restaurant food but neither can I force my dear mum to cook. Usually I buy for my mum and brother only while my mum give my father some money to buy himself some food from outside once in two days. The only times I buy food for myself is during lunch when I work and over the weekend, either I survive merely on bread or my mum and I will share the food (which she usually does voluntarily despite me saying 'no').
It's not so much of me trying to save up that 3 over dollars by not buying food for myself. But it's really hard, I find nowadays, to find food that do not compromise on my health. It's not a diet thing but if I dont look after myself, it will have a repercussion on my family. Uhm, this is not including of me getting sick from being all 'bravado' walking in the rain because Im too gawd damn lazy to buy myself a new working brolly.
As you know, this isnt exactly the first time I voice out this worry about the uncertainty of my family's future. True, people say money is never enough. You can never have enough of it. Look, even the filthy rich complain so. But I think bottom line is, sometimes we cannot be too fooled by other people's exteriors because each and everyone of us has our own problems which I sometimes tell myself that. It's just my way of comforting myself that hey, I'm not alone in thinking how we're going to survive not just today but in days to come.
Despite all this, Im actually happy that my coming new job does not only signify a welcoming change in my life but also a stepping stone for me in proving to myself that I have not forgotten about my own happiness. I often find myself sacrificing for others especially my family that I feel like Im so stagnant being where I am right now as if Im 'itching' for something different.
But God is great. I've already mentioned before that this new job is something that is going to help me in the long run by letting me cut down on unnecessary expenses like the current long distance travelling of my job. I received the new schedule today and I am pretty shocked at the amount of travelling I have to do on a daily basis though it's not something new to me given that I have been in this line for quite some time. It's just many of the places are a little too far off for me.
Oh, next month's partner is a very uptight and bossy sort of person and I am SO glad that my future employer calls me at the right moment..hee. Thank U! Now, the next challenge is for me to inform my supervisor of my impending resignation so that they will be able to afix another person to my team which I dont think will be a problem since we have two former staff who just joined us.
I cant wait for Thursday! That is when I am going to sign on THE dotted line..hehe..
I sound like a bride about to beshipped married off to a handsome groom in waiting.
People do think that this is a waste of money and pretty ironic as well since Im quite uptight about the family budget but actually, it's more or less the same depending on what you buy at the market and how much you cook for the family. The only difference is that home cooked food is never the same as restaurant food but neither can I force my dear mum to cook. Usually I buy for my mum and brother only while my mum give my father some money to buy himself some food from outside once in two days. The only times I buy food for myself is during lunch when I work and over the weekend, either I survive merely on bread or my mum and I will share the food (which she usually does voluntarily despite me saying 'no').
It's not so much of me trying to save up that 3 over dollars by not buying food for myself. But it's really hard, I find nowadays, to find food that do not compromise on my health. It's not a diet thing but if I dont look after myself, it will have a repercussion on my family. Uhm, this is not including of me getting sick from being all 'bravado' walking in the rain because Im too gawd damn lazy to buy myself a new working brolly.
As you know, this isnt exactly the first time I voice out this worry about the uncertainty of my family's future. True, people say money is never enough. You can never have enough of it. Look, even the filthy rich complain so. But I think bottom line is, sometimes we cannot be too fooled by other people's exteriors because each and everyone of us has our own problems which I sometimes tell myself that. It's just my way of comforting myself that hey, I'm not alone in thinking how we're going to survive not just today but in days to come.
Despite all this, Im actually happy that my coming new job does not only signify a welcoming change in my life but also a stepping stone for me in proving to myself that I have not forgotten about my own happiness. I often find myself sacrificing for others especially my family that I feel like Im so stagnant being where I am right now as if Im 'itching' for something different.
But God is great. I've already mentioned before that this new job is something that is going to help me in the long run by letting me cut down on unnecessary expenses like the current long distance travelling of my job. I received the new schedule today and I am pretty shocked at the amount of travelling I have to do on a daily basis though it's not something new to me given that I have been in this line for quite some time. It's just many of the places are a little too far off for me.
Oh, next month's partner is a very uptight and bossy sort of person and I am SO glad that my future employer calls me at the right moment..hee. Thank U! Now, the next challenge is for me to inform my supervisor of my impending resignation so that they will be able to afix another person to my team which I dont think will be a problem since we have two former staff who just joined us.
I cant wait for Thursday! That is when I am going to sign on THE dotted line..hehe..
I sound like a bride about to be
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